Spoiler Alert: Dreadful The SAD Movie Review - Don't Be A Menace

Don't Be A Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood

Hello readers, my old friends. I'd come to talk with you again. About movies. Specifically bad movies. Not all bad movies are unwatchable, most are totally watchable. Some are even good, to some people. Does "Don't Be A Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood" hold up, 15 years after the release? Who knows? Oh, wait...me.

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Poster for Don't Be A MenaceLoc Dog, trying to accessorizeThe inevitability of fashion...That equation is wrong.  Alcohol plus gun equals a good time!Is Snooki's fake tan dark enough to be put on this list?  Oh, wait, Michael Jackson's on there, it should be fine. Is that racist?
Poster for Don't Be A Menace
Poster for Don't Be A Menace
Loc Dog, trying to accessorize
Loc Dog, trying to accessorize
The inevitability of fashion...
The inevitability of fashion...
That equation is wrong.  Alcohol plus gun equals a good time!
That equation is wrong. Alcohol plus gun equals a good time!
Is Snooki's fake tan dark enough to be put on this list?  Oh, wait, Michael Jackson's on there, it should be fine. Is that racist?
Is Snooki's fake tan dark enough to be put on this list? Oh, wait, Michael Jackson's on there, it should be fine. Is that racist?

What Is This Movie About?

This movie focuses on Ashtray, who is sent to live with his father, in the “projects”. It’s mostly follows Ashtray, Loc Dog, Preacher, and Crazy Legs, and their day-to-day lives. Ashtray sees all of the violence, and poverty that runs rampant in the projects, and he decides he wants out.

Okay, now after the initial “serious” look at the plot….This movie is the predecessor to Scary Movie, but instead of spoofing horror movies, it takes aim at black “coming-of-age” movies. They parodied movies such as “Menace II Society”, “Boyz n the Hood”, and the “Friday” movies. I don't want to compare it to "Airplane" one of the greatest parody movies of all-time, because it is not as slapstick as Airplane. But, you could certainly make that comparison.

Oh God, Why?

  • · When we meet Ashtray’s father, we find out he is barely older than Ashtray is.Later, it seems like he is older than his father, when Ashtray is going to a party, and says his father can’t come, since it is an 18 and older party.
  • · When the movies tries to deliver a message (such as when Ashtray is narrating), The Mailman shows up and says “MESSAGE!”, just to make sure you caught it.He does it four times during the movie, including once where he comes on screen and says “The f* ¢kis he talking about, when Loc Dog utters the statement“Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about being a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood. That's what it's all about. That's what it's all about.”No, it doesn’t make more sense when he says it aloud.
  • · When we meet Loc Dog’s family, his grandmother calls him a… um…. Birch asp… fother mucker.She dares him to punch her, and pokes at her, until he snaps, and punches her over a table.This grandma does all kinds of awesome stuff, including drive a lowrider, smoke a gigantic joint, and break-dance, in church.
  • · Loc Dog has 4-5 braids, like Coolio’s hair, only thicker.On the ends of the braids, he has different things tied to the end of them, including a crazy straw, a binky, and condoms, both in and out of the wrapper.
  • · Crazy Legs was the best break dancer in the neighborhood, but now he is paralyzed.Later, he gets hit by a car, when his chair goes haywire.They take him to the hospital, and check back later, and he tells his friends the doctor told him he would never walk again.They all start crying, until they remember he was already paralyzed, and everybody was fine.
  • · Ashtray (played by Shawn Wayans) sees a beautiful woman at a party, but Loc Dog (played by Marlon Wayans) tells him to stay away from her, saying she has more kids than Ms. Wayans.
  • · Ashtray & Loc Dog go to the convenience store, but instead of a 7-11’s, it is called 40’s and 9’s.While they are shopping, the Asian storeowners are suspicious of them, but ignoring the white guy, who is actually stealing things.They all start arguing, and the storeowner-lady gets shot, by the white guy, who we find out is “The Man”.He tosses the gun to Loc Dog, crosses his name off of a list (that includes OJ Simpson, Mike Tyson, and Michael Jackson), drops a single leather glove, and takes off.
  • · Ashtray is taking his drivers test, with the instructor.The instructor tells him to turn here and there, and then he tells them to pull over, and park.We see that they parked right in front of the bank, which the instructor robs.He runs back out, shoves a gun in Ashtray’s face, and yells at him to drive.
  • · The late, great, Bernie Mac is in this movie, as Officer Self Hatred.He arrests Ashtray and Loc Dog, and the whole time he is arresting them, he goes on and on about how much he hates black people.It is pretty funny to hear Mr. 3000 say all of this stuff.
  • ·When they go to jail, the cops have an arcade cabinet, named Rodney’s Ride, where a bunch of white cops are beating a black guy with their batons, while someone films it.
  • · The quasi-villain in this movie, Toothpick, has face tattoos, which obviously change from scene to scene.
  • · The girl that Ashtray falls for has “been around the block”, if you know what I mean.She lives at 6969 Penetration Avenue.I don’t have a joke for this or anything…

Wait, Did That Just Happen?

Grandma goes to church, and is walked in by a young man (who she slaps on the butt when he walks away).The preacher…is just fantastic.He has this beat with everything he says, and it is wonderful.I would write out everything, but lucky for me, I found a YouTube clip that shows the whole speech

In case you want to know the name of the church, it is:

"And that’s what God expects from His sheep, here at the Greater Ebenezer New Revival Tree of Life Institutional Double Rock on the Side of the Road to Jericho Missionary Baptist Church of Zion! And I saidMountCavalry! Huh! Yall gonna help me!"

It’s Not All Bad…..

This movie is one of the better parody movies.This is kind of the predecessor to Scary Movie, which spawned a whole slew of terrible, terrible “Movie” movies.But, this one is really well done.It is consistently funny throughout, without being horribly annoying.The running gags throughout are called back to just enough to keep them funny, without them running the jokes into the ground.Don’t Be A Menace comes at the parody aspect the right way, by having the movies similar, but subverting what those movies were trying to say.Parody movies these days might as well just make a movie reference, then look at the camera and say, “Get it?It’s from that one movie!”It would be more subtle that way.

Final Verdict

If you like the original Scary Movie (and possibly Scary Movie 2), and none of the others in the “blank Movie” franchise, you will probably enjoy this movie.It really holds up, despite it being 15 years old.If you have a chance to watch it, it is worth watching.

If you liked the other “blank Movies”….then may God have mercy on your soul

Three-and-a-half confused Mailmen, out of Five

So, I was told about this movie last Saturday, and I really thought about not doing this movie this week, and switching it out. But, since I said I would, I will wait until next week until I review.....HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. An Oscar contender on name alone, this stars Rutger Hauer as a Hobo. And he has some sort of weapon. I can't wait!

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