What about the "Signs of the Times"? Useless, Stupid, Dumb and Funny Signs

The purpose of this sign is....
The purpose of this sign is.... | Source

This useless sign is so a "sign of our times". Other warnings fall into the same category such as when you have to be warned that coffee is hot at a restaurant, or that peanut butter has nuts in it, or that a frisbee may contain small parts?!?, or warnings not to use a hair dryer while asleep or while in the shower! It's hard to know if people have been dumb enough to have tested some of these things out, or if companies have had to go with these extremes to protect themselves.

As you look at these signs, stop and consider if you can think of something witty to say about them. Let me know in the comments, and they might just find their way into the hub! Some of them left me speechless, so your input will be very much appreciated!

Some of these signs are sure to bring a smile to your face.

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1.



I personally have never known of traffic to have a calming affect on anyone!

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2.

This has to be the . . . I'm at a loss for words. . .



What bodies is it referring to . . . ?




Considering it is D.C., any ideas?

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3.



Ever feel like this . . . like you're going in circles and getting no where fast?


punamdharkar added: Get Born. Live. Get recycled. Only way humans can beautify the earth.

Public art project by Oakland artist Seyed Alavi. Alavi collaborated with Emeryville secondary school students to conceptualize these designs which now appear on some of Emeryville's traffic signal boxes.
Public art project by Oakland artist Seyed Alavi. Alavi collaborated with Emeryville secondary school students to conceptualize these designs which now appear on some of Emeryville's traffic signal boxes. | Source

4.




This is definitely not one of those signs you see every day! Thank goodness!


punamdharkar added: Hurry! Or we'll uproot you. (Suited for a sign on a Public Toilet?)

Public art project by Oakland artist Seyed Alavi. Alavi collaborated with Emeryville secondary school students to conceptualize these designs which now appear on some of Emeryville's traffic signal boxes.
Public art project by Oakland artist Seyed Alavi. Alavi collaborated with Emeryville secondary school students to conceptualize these designs which now appear on some of Emeryville's traffic signal boxes. | Source

5.




I'm not sure if this is where you go if you intend to go streaking . . .




. . . or if you're an alien and it's time to shed your skin. . .

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6.




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7.


I've called some of these help desks before!


I've also had this feeling after sitting with my laptop for long periods of time.

Public art project by Oakland artist Seyed Alavi. Alavi collaborated with Emeryville secondary school students to conceptualize these designs which now appear on some of Emeryville's traffic signal boxes.
Public art project by Oakland artist Seyed Alavi. Alavi collaborated with Emeryville secondary school students to conceptualize these designs which now appear on some of Emeryville's traffic signal boxes. | Source

8.

Talking on cell phones removes part of your brain ...
Talking on cell phones removes part of your brain ... | Source

9.



This is your brain on cell phone!

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10.

Lost in the translation?

Probably, Low Voltage Power?


Happyboomernurse suggested, "Cell phones don't work in shower."

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11.




An invitation to stop and play a game of chess or checkers?

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12. Lost in the translation:



Anti-aging?


How about, Don't want to go there again?

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13.





Duh? Who needs a sign to tell them that?

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14.




Unknown conditions ahead?





15.



A sobriety test?



The sign maker failed the test!

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16.




A no carjacking sign? You've got to be kidding! I'm sure they'll pay attention to this one everytime!





17.



Makes one wonder what's ahead . . .

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18.



Is this one of those Geico squirrels?





If you haven't seen this one, here it is!

Public art project by Oakland artist Seyed Alavi. Alavi collaborated with Emeryville secondary school students to conceptualize these designs which now appear on some of Emeryville's traffic signal boxes.
Public art project by Oakland artist Seyed Alavi. Alavi collaborated with Emeryville secondary school students to conceptualize these designs which now appear on some of Emeryville's traffic signal boxes. | Source

19.

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20.



I'm sure that we all carry parachutes with us in our cars for just such emergencies!


leroy64 suggested: “Stop James Bond”

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21.



Ever stop to wish the engineer had read the sign.

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22.




High impact area!

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23.



What other kind of powered vehicles would there be?



leroy64 suggested: “It's okay officer, I'm driving a race car.”

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24.

Warning sign at Stanford University. Taken from traffic engineer and cyclist advocate Robert Shanteau.

The city of San Francisco requested permission for an experimental sign on Market @ Octavia warning cyclists of "prohibited right turns", where motorists illegally turn right on Octavia and often hook cyclists passing on the right, in spite of the presence of signs, stripes and markings, posts and even a concrete median.

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25.





Even if it were spelled correctly, what does it mean?

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26.




Watch out for big bad cows?


leroy64 suggested: “Cow tipping zone”

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27.



Wait, I'm confused . . . I thought green meant go.

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28.



The most quiet place on earth!

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29.


Who wouldn't want to obey this sign . . . especially if trapped in gridlock!

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30.





Why even have a road?


punamdharkar added: No wheels. Only feet allowed.







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31.





How do you semi-permanently deactivate a road?

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32.


Die of what?


leroy64 suggested: “Dying at the ski resort is forbidden.”

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33.




Not sure we should give some parents any ideas. . . especially after a long hard day at the zoo!

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34.



How can I be aware of something that I can't see?

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35.






Beware of falling cows?

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36.




Enough said!



leroy64 suggested: “I can feed the animals in front of me. Why are there animals living in my mouth?”

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37.



Enough said!

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38.


???



leroy64 suggested: “This is really permission to throw stones at other signs.”

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39.




How does a dead person pay the fine?

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40.



Need I say more?

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41.




And most any other body part that got in the way!

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42.




Where is it unprohibited?

Now it's your turn!

I'm sure that some of you can come up with some really good sayings to go with these signs. I've numbered them to make it easy for you to designate the sign that you have thought up something witty for. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with. I'll add them as I get them . . . as long as they meet the qualifying criteria . . .

P.S. I like kittens. So be nice to the kittens. (#6) - first qualifying criteria


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Be sure to number your suggestions for the signs.

More by this Author


Comments: "What about the "Signs of the Times"? Useless, Stupid, Dumb and Funny Signs" 65 comments

jami l. pereira 5 years ago

I loved this Hub , cute ,funny , informative i voted up and awesome :)


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

jami l.pereira - I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's a little different than I usually do, so I guess you could say I'm testing my wings. Thanks for stopping by!


tlmcgaa70 profile image

tlmcgaa70 5 years ago from south dakota, usa

loved this...some signs are so funny. number 12 might have been the "Oh No Not Again" sign... as for number thirteen...yup they need them signs...when i was young, i came to a signal, and thought i was being very smart when i cut into a gas station parking lot and over onto the road i wanted, avoiding sitting there waiting for the lights. just as i was congratulating myself and chuckling at the wait the other folks still had, i heard...yup, you guessed it...sirens. i looked back and there was a motorcycle cop behind me. when i pulled into a parking lot and we were down to business he asked if i knew i had done a wrong thing. to be honest, i did not. i certainly did after that though.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

tlmcgaa70 - thanks for sharing. i'm not sure if I have ever seen/read the official rule about using parking lots to avoid traffic lights being a no-no, but I have heard it was wrong. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Thanks for the suggestions also.


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Hi homesteadbound, 'uncontolled crossing' that's hilarious!! some brilliant ones here, very funny:-)


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Movie Master - would uncontolled mean that a toll would or would not be charged? Too many negative prefixes at the beginning. But it was funny, and when I saw the sign at first, I didn't notice the spelling mistake. Thanks for stopping by!


Cloverleaf profile image

Cloverleaf 5 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

I didn't notice the spelling mistake either at first, I had to read it a few times before I understood! This has to be by far the best collection of funny, whacky and wierd signs that I have ever seen. They are great! You must have worked so hard to gather all of these. I remember one time standing at the top of an escalator and reading a sign that said "dogs MUST be carried on escalator" and I thought "but what if I don't have a dog!??". Good stuff, homesteadbound, I am pressing all the buttons.... :-)


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

I wish I had a picture of that sign, cloverleaf! That would be an excellent addition to add to this hub, and your saying to go with it is classic! It did take a while to gather them all together. I got lucky towards the end and came across a group by one photographer. He had some other really good ones that weren't street signs so you may see another one with those, but I haven't started that one. This one would have be a nice one for the contest coming up in November - oh well. Thanks for pressing the buttons.


Kelly Parker (aka Bickle of Barstow) 5 years ago

You've done a great job in culling these signs and your captions are very clever. I'm also very happy that you notified me that you are linking to a few of my photos, and giving me credit. Kudos for being so professional, and I hope you keep blogging!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Kelly Parker - thank you for coming and checking out my use of your pictures. And thank you for making those pictures available for people like me to be able to use.


SJmorningsun25 5 years ago

Oh, these are soooo amazingly funny. I think my favorite one was #32. Hilarious! Just goes to show how dumb people can be. Wow. Thanks for the laugh! Voted up, awesome, and funny.


Esmeowl12 profile image

Esmeowl12 5 years ago from Sevierville, TN

These are fantastic and really made my day. Whose job is it anyway to make these crazy things?


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

SJmorningsun25 - I still want to know what you might die of if you leave. I can't even imagine! At first I thought you said 35, which is beware of the falling cow! That to me was way over the edge. I'm certainly glad you enjoyed it and I thank you so much for the votes. And thanks for stopping by!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Esmeowl12 - I don't know whose job it is ... but drinking might be a prerequisite for the job! I'm glad they were able to make your day better. Thanks for stopping by!


RussellLHuey profile image

RussellLHuey 5 years ago

Interesting information.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Some of them are very funny! Thanks for visiting!


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

These signs are a hoot. I think #10 might say: "Cell phones don't work in shower."

Thanks for a good laugh.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Happyboomernurse - I am glad that you enjoyed them. I added your suggestion to number 10. Thanks for the input and for stopping by!


stephaniedas profile image

stephaniedas 5 years ago from Miami, US

Awesome hub! Voted up and funny. I once saw something on TV about people who put hairdryers on when they sleep- its pretty dangerous! My favorite signs are the ones that feature mistranslations.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

stephaniedas - I'm glad you enjoyed this. Some of the signs are really funny. The one about watching out for a falling cow is pretty funny, or having to remove bodies from the crosswalk?!?

Thanks for stopping by!


jacqui2011 profile image

jacqui2011 5 years ago from Leicester, United Kingdom

Very funny. Some of these signs make you wonder how sane the person was who thought them up! Thanks for sharing, I am still laughing at them now. My favorite has to be no. 38. It kinda makes you want to do it anyway. I love the squirrel video, so funny. Voted up and funny.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

jacqui2011 - It is amazing that someone would waste time and money to create these signs.

#38 - it seems to me that it could serve no other purpose.

The first time I saw that commercial on TV, I laughed. It was a good one.

Thanks for stopping by and enjoying yourself.


jenn-zee profile image

jenn-zee 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

Oh my, that's hilarious. You must have had the time of your life writing this. :-)))


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

jenn-zee - it's amazing the amount of stupid signs that do exist. Who would ever think to worry about a falling cow? Or to put up a sign stating that the sign has sharp edges? Thanks for stopping by!


anjperez profile image

anjperez 5 years ago

this is so funny. it is too early to be awake at this time in my part of the world. but am glad that i woke up and had a giggle. ... (,")


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

anjperez - glad you enjoyed this. At least if you go back to sleep you will have a smile on your face! Come back and giggle again anytime. Thanks for making me smile.


jean2011 profile image

jean2011 5 years ago from Canada

#37 is weird! Where did you see that one? Life is not boring after all, you canalways find something to laugh about. Thank you for sharing. I have voted this hub interesting and funny.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

jean2011 - I found all these on flickr, That photographer has pulled all of the pictures I used in this hub from his site, so I was not able to read underneath to tell you.

Thank you!


samanthamsmith profile image

samanthamsmith 5 years ago from Small Town USA

Great signs


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

samanthamsmith - thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed them!


ugochi profile image

ugochi 5 years ago from Nigeria

This is a wonderful hub and so interesting. Keep it up


SimpleGiftsofLove profile image

SimpleGiftsofLove 5 years ago from Colorado

love it, homestead bound..need this humor this morning thanks.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

ugochi - I am glad that you enjoyed the hub. Thanks for visiting!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

SimpleGiftsofLove - I am glad that you were able to start you day with the humor found in this hub. Have a great one!


leroy64 profile image

leroy64 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas (Oak Cliff)

This hub was funny.

Okay I'll try a few; but, don't get your hopes up.

20. Stop James Bond

23. It's okay officer, I'm driving a race car.

26. Cow tipping zone

32. Dying at the ski resort is forbidden.

36. I can feed the animals in front of me. Why are there animals living in my mouth?

38. This is really permission to throw stones at other signs.


molometer profile image

molometer 5 years ago

lol health and safety gone mad again. Nice post.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

leroy64 - thanks for all your suggestions. I one I really liked the best was the one you put down for #20. That would be something that James Bond would come equipped with. So funny! Thanks for sharing and thanks for stopping by!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

molometer, definitely gone a little bonkers! I'm pleased you enjoyed it!


VirginiaLynne profile image

VirginiaLynne 5 years ago from United States

Hillarious signs--I've actually been collecting sign photos (especially when I was in China) but I'd not thought of making a hub about them. Bet this one gets passed around. There is a book which collects these sorts of signs together. My kids read it over and over. I think it is just called "signs"--you might want to add it to the Amazon box.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

VirginiaLynne - I'm glad you enjoyed it. You ought to put your pictures together and make a hub of your own.

I'm pleased that you enjoyed this hub. Thanks for stopping by!


tsmog profile image

tsmog 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

Another one I was saving for the right moment. As always you came through HSB (still laughing and going back for some more - smile)


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

tsmog - I am tickled that these tickled your funny bone. Laughter is a good thing. Feel free to come back anytime. Thanks for stopping by and we will see you around.


Jamie Brock profile image

Jamie Brock 5 years ago from Texas

LOL! These are really funny..I am going to risk sounding stupid and ask-are these all real signs?? This is crazy- especially the Beware of falling cows one..too funny :)


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Jamie - I searched through signs that were in the flickr files. I cannot say for sure, but I believe so. I agree with you, that falling cows one was really strange, but then so was removing bodies out of the crosswalk. Thanks for stopping by.


Faceless39 profile image

Faceless39 5 years ago from The North Woods, USA

Wow, I don't even know what to say! This was a great time, thanks for your hard work and awesome comments. Perfect! :)


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas Author

Well, Faceless39, i think you just said it. And i certainly appreciate it too. thanks for stopping by.


alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

A great break in the day. It's nice to know where kittens are located in case of emergency. Voting this Up and Funny.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

alocsin - I am glad that you were able to share a happy break with me. Thanks for the votes and for stopping by!


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

This always cracks me up. What a world, what a world lol.

The thing is that people really do need these signs, it beggars belief.

Voted up and SHARING


ytsenoh profile image

ytsenoh 4 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

This was so hysterical! Thank you. I loved #37 especially. Who grabs bills or coins out of their undergarments and although that wasn't a street sign, it was so hilarious. Thanks for the interesting and funny hub!


My Minds Eye53 profile image

My Minds Eye53 4 years ago from Tennessee

Maybe it's me, but some of these make sense to me. #21 happened so often where I lived they had to put up a sign like that one. There were no lights to tell when a train was coming and you just could not see them in the dark.

Thanks for the laugh. The cow one would make sense if a cow stood on unstable ground, but why would they let them stand there to begin with?


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

molometer - It is unfortunate, but true, some people really do need these signs ... but no one that we know!!! LOL

Thanks so much for stopping by and enjoying the unusual signs of the times!


Joelipoo profile image

Joelipoo 4 years ago from Ohio

This was of particular interest to me given my appreciation for signs. Thanks.


punamdharkar profile image

punamdharkar 4 years ago from India

This is a fun Hub! Enjoyed it and voting up.

#30 No wheels. Only feet allowed.

#4 Hurry! Or we'll uproot you. (Suited for a sign on a Public Toilet?)

#3 Get Born. Live. Get recycled.

Only way humans can beautify the earth.


punamdharkar profile image

punamdharkar 4 years ago from India

This is a fun Hub! Voted up and sharing.

#3 Get born. Live. Get recycled. Only way humans can beautify the earth.

#4 (Sign on a public toilet): Hurry! Or we'll uproot you.

#30 No wheels. Only feet allowed.


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

I am glad that they make the humorous signs to keep us from being so serious. We have those traffic calming signs in our neighborhood. Neither the neighborhood nor the traffic is calmer with the signs or the traffic controlling devices.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

ytsenoh - yes, that was an interesting sign for sure. I do know ow some women who carry their money in their bras - maybe that was what was being addressed. One can hope. Thanks so much!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

My Minds Eye53 - I am glad that you enjoyed this collection of strange and unusual signs. The falling cows sign does have to make one wonder ... When cows start falling from the sky, no where is safe!

Thanks so much for sharing your comment!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

Joelipoo - I'm glad that someone who has a true appreciation of signs truly appreciated my sign hub! Thanks so much!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

punamdharkar - I have added your insights to the hub. Thanks for sharing!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

Millionaire Tips - What is a traffic controlling device?

Sadly, I do not think most of these were intended to be humorous...

Thanks for stopping by. Always good to see you!


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 4 years ago from Florida

Hi Cindy,

I needed a lagh tonight and your hub did it.--Thanks, I voted awesome and funny.

Thanks,

Bobbi


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

Hi Bobbi - I am pleased that this one amused you. That was my intent. Thanks so much for stopping by!


CJWood71 profile image

CJWood71 4 years ago from Florida, USA

I enjoyed this hub very much, brought a smile to my face. Voted Up and Funny! A couple suggestions for #2, "Cross at your own risk", or "you are responsible for removing any pedestrians you hit in crosswalk". Keep up the good work!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas Author

CJWood71 - Glad this hub brought a smile to you. Great ideas on the captions. Thanks so much!

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