Stupid things I've done for attention

Brook in 2005
Brook in 2005
Brook in 2006
Brook in 2006
Brook in 2007
Brook in 2007

Being Wierd isn't a "Bad" Thing

 In the beginning…

I was a child with too much energy.  Someone should have slapped the nerd glasses right off my face; I was pathetic.  But I did have a great sense of humor; well, I was just weird.  Growing up wasn’t easy; I was constantly made fun of and I went through a pretty tough time (so much that I even transferred schools).  In the end, it all did work out for me.  This is my story.

 

Being a very outgoing child with a wacky sense of humor, it’s tough to fit in while living in a small town.  Sure, I had lots of, oh, what do you call them, uh, “secret” friends.  Friends that say, “You’re my best friend and I like you a lot but my other friends think you’re weird so I’m sorry that I can’t talk to you at school”.  The funny part about this is that their friends were secret friends with me too.  DAMN IT!  I could have been popular!  By the time I started to reach Junior High I found my own little group.  They accepted me but I was still the butt of the joke.  Looking back on it, coming from a kid that joked around all the time, I couldn’t take jokes.  I pretended to laugh and just shook it off, even made fun of myself, but I did take a lot of stuff personal.  I wish I didn’t.  Those kids were my friends and did care about me but I was too sensitive to notice.  Anyway, because of my awkwardness, and let’s face it, I was a homely looking child, getting a boyfriend was, well, unheard of.  Trust me, when you’re a girl that age, getting a boyfriend is EVERYTHING. 

 

Stuck in the middle…

 

Dear lord, I was so pathetic!  I would obsessively write love letters to my crushes, or call them on the phone.  I cut my hair really short to empress some guy who said girls with short hair are hot.  I was nothing near hot.  I even thought about resorting to magic.  I became obsessed with cheap spell books that you find at hot topic that are mass produced around the country (that’s actually not “real” spells, because that would be dangerous if you believe in that kind of stuff).  Wow, just thinking about how pathetic I was makes me embarrassed all over again- I can’t stop shaking my head.  I hate my life.

 

The realization…

 

I realized that no matter what I did, or how cool I pretended to act, no guy was ever going to date me.  I was Brook, the weird, ugly Brook.  As I got older, the rep changed, it changed into something I never was.  I became slutty, drugged out Brook.  I admit, I tried pot but only a couple times to fit in when I was 13 but other than that, well, let’s put it this way- I couldn’t get a guy to look at me, let alone sleep with me.  I needed a way out.  I had a rep for being everything I wasn’t.  I didn’t trust my friends; I didn’t even trust my teachers.  So, I transferred schools and it was the best decision I had ever made.

 

New start…

 

A fresh beginning, that’s all I needed.  I could just sit back, relax, and not have to worry about anything.  I learned quickly.   For instance, if I like a guy, pretend I don’t.  TADA!  This technique doesn’t work if you actually want to hook up with the guy but I really wanted nothing to do with any boy.  In secret, I so DESPERATELY wanted a boyfriend, but soon my luck began to change.  As I got older, I became somewhat pretty.  Boys I liked started coming to me.  Funny thing was, since I was really good at being social, flirting just came naturally to me.  I started dating junior year and high school, and I haven’t been single since, because even when I was single, I was dating, A LOT.  I was single for 3 months at the begin of ’08 and I started dating 6 guys at one time.  Never slept with any of them, that’s my golden rule, and honestly, that’s what keeps the guys around.

 

In the end…

 

Being that I am a girl with a sense of humor and a personality, and some decent looks, I found later in life that those qualities are what men truly look for in a woman.  So I wouldn’t trade up my awkward childhood for anything.  I mean, I still wish I would have never stalked my crushes back then, but because of that, I learned how to act around the opposite sex.  I’ve had many successful relationships and they always end peacefully.  I get along with all my ex’s.  Currently, I’m dating a very handsome and successful man.  We’ve been together for over a year now, and we just got a house together.  Funny thing is, if we went to school together, he would have never dated me, but rather, made fun of me.

 

Solution…

 

Learn from the crazy mistakes you make.  I was an insane, obsessive little girl that was boy crazy.  Later in life, I because a unique individual and I consider myself beautiful because of that.  But the key thing is to learn from the mistakes.  I’ll leave you with something I tell people every day, if the same bad things keep happening to you over  and over in relationships, then it truly isn’t them, it’s you.  Even if it’s his or her fault for ruining the relationship, you keep falling for the same type of person, don’t you?  Go outside your box and learn from your mistakes.  Hey, if all else fails, you can jump out of the closet to see if the other side of the fence is green… or not.

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Comments 2 comments

mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

That was beautiful....

Its good to learn through our mistake in life. It really does strengthen us in a much positive way. I'm glad to hear your story. Keep me updated. ;)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

That was a touching story and Brooke remember you have always been beautiful all along, although you have learned lessons you are and always will be beautiful and never take less then that.:)

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