The Asteroid That Wiped Out The Dinosaurs . A Comedy Short Story.

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Thursday, May 2, 2013

{ Author's Notes : Updated Thursday May 9, 2013 }

{ Author's Notes : Original comments were removed because they applied to the original version of the story. The names of the asteroid were changed in the update. Please note my apology to my cherished readers . Please comment again if you desire. You're comments are very important to me as they assist me in my endeavors as a writer. Thank you. }

One day I was shopping in a feed store. I needed some duck corn , and so I bought a bucket , and a sack of corn. That's when I met the asteroid that may have helped to end the lives of dinosaurs on earth.

The doomsday asteroid's name was Slam Dunk . I spoke to the asteroid , and said, " Why did you wipe out the dinosaurs Slam Dunk ? Why couldn't you mind you're own affairs? "

Slam Dunk had some stuff to tell me. Slam Dunk said, " My name is not Slam Dunk. I think, a science individual named me that. My real name is Destroyer 101, and I am sorry if I plunged into you're earth planet ."

Destroyer 101 asked me a question. " Are you the writer of this story ? Do you know you're scores need to be improved , or you may be headed toward obliteration along with the dinosaurs."

The owner of the feed store asked Destroyer 101 what did he need . Destroyer said," Can you tell me where I can find a Swiss army knife ? "

The owner said, " I have a Swiss army knife on my shelf , and it is only fifteen dollars, and ninety nine cents ."

Destroyer used a MasterCard , and bought his Swiss Army knife. I was leaving the feed store with my duck corn when I noticed that Destroyer 101 was following me to my blue Ford car .

I turned around , and had a few choice words for him. I said," My friends, and readers of my stories adore me , and I cherish them with all my ever loving heart so I do not think I will ever become non existent , at least not until the lord comes for me , but I am saddened for you, for what you did to our sweet earth. Our sweet little dinosaurs were minding their own business when you were traveling extremely fast threw space. You ran right into earth, and did not apply you're brakes . Dinosaurs were large, husky, and awesome, but now they look like little tiny lizards because of you ."

Destroyer 101 replied, " Do you like waffles ? I love waffles with light syrup , and with dark roast coffee. "

The story teller replied, " Sure we like waffles , and I mix the flour with ingredients to make them, and my wife bakes them. Joann, and our daughter Becky love them as well. Why don't you come , and follow me to our house to have some breakfast with us."

Destroyer 101 said, " Oh thank you, but I kind of hate to impose especially after I wiped out nearly all living life forms on you're planet by darkening you're skies , and for killing off a lot of you're vegetation for ,and extended period of time. "

The story teller said , " Well, just forget all about that, and lets just be friends. I forgive you. I know you probably really did not want to do that , and that the forces of the unknown , as well as physics, and other conditions probably had something to do with that as well, so lets just go to our house , and try some of our salami too."

Destroyer 101 sat at our table, and our daughter Becky asked Destoyer if he knew her friend Edward. Destroyer asked Becky who was Edward. Becky told Destroyer that Edward was her boyfriend.

Joann poured Destroyer, and I some delicious dark roast coffee. We enjoyed our breakfast. Becky drank hot chocolate, and ate some toaster fruit pastry .

We had a very nice breakfast. I showed Destroyer my guitars, and harmonicas, and then I turned on my science channel on television. Together Destroyer , and I studied occurrences of outer space, and then I showed Destroyer my riding lawnmower.

I shared my riding lawnmower with Destroyer , because his push mower needed a spark plug. Later we enjoyed some outdoor barbecue fun by cooking hot dogs, and we drank diet sodas together on my porch.

Destroyer, and I became the best of friends. Destroyer asked me why was I so nice to him. I said, " It is probably because I have a lot of Italian culture in me. If my mother was alive she would cook you some delicious meatballs with shell macaroni . In fact I should cook us up a gorgeous pizza the way we like them with cooked shrimp.

I also have a trumpet, a flute, some banjos, a ukulele, a mandolin, and some electric, and acoustic guitars. " Do you like music Destroyer ? Because if you do , then we can play my keyboard together.

Destroyer asked me if we had a bathroom because he felt like he had to take a potty call . I thought that was kind of strange of him to say that so I may have to take back my forgiveness.


Even though we still drank ice tea right up to the last moment of our failed friendship. I will not be inviting him back to our house ever again. He can go right back to his own galaxy far far away.



God Bless.



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