Welcome to the Human Race

Elite: "A group of people considered by others or themselves to be the best in a particular society or category, esp. because of their power, talent, or wealth." Dictionary

"Oh, I am a musician." What does this mean? You are different from the rest. You are an artist. You don't mind starving. You don't need regular hours and you'll never take a 9 to 5 job. You send your clothes in a cab for your mom to wash. You'll never get married. You are unique and creative. You love your rock star image…

And I really love your music!

"Oh, I'm a dancer!" "Oh, I'm an A student!" "Oh, I'm a football player!" "Oh, I'm a Computer Nerd!" But, you can sure dance and you can get high grades, and you can kick that ball and you can maneuver so skillfully around the internet and program websites and excel at various out of this world computer games...

Just don't forget people need help. People need the trash taken out and your room to be cleaned and some help in the kitchen. People in your neighborhood need your smiling face to say hello and bring soup when they're sick. They need you to play with their kids or walk their dogs for free just because we're all in the human race.

And by the way, welcome to it.

"Oh, I am old. I can hardly move. You gotta make me a sandwich and bring me ice water, my bran muffins and my oatmeal raisin cookies. I don't feel good. I have diabetes. I can't work any more because my feet are numb. You'll have to. I won't be around much longer. I'm going to die soon."

We'll you haven't died yet and you have been saying that to all your family members for years now. You are grumpy and literally good for nothing, yet they bring you your ice water, your cookies and your bran muffins.

The power of familial love is truly miraculous.

"Oh, I am an artist. I need to draw. I need to paint. I can't be bothered with other peoples problems. After all, I am special and on another plane of altered existence. I have a special destiny to make beautiful pictures. Please forgive me if I don't answer my phone while working on my latest masterpiece.
and don't dare come to my door.
I do not need people. I never get lonely. Ever."

But, I really love your paintings on my walls.

"Hello, yes I am an actor." (Thinking to self: "Of course, you can tell from looking at me, right? My gosh, I didn't spend two hours this morning in front of the mirror for nothing, did I? Not to mention the endless hours spent in the gym... along with my strict macrobiotic regimen!") "Are you going to the party of our mutual friend, (which is the only reason I am even talking to you... after all, you might be "somebody,") who just appeared as a guest on 'The Chew?' Well, I'm going to an after-party next weekend and everyone working on the movie, "Crying Tears," will be there. Unfortunately, my actor boyfriend, Andre Du'par... what, you never heard of him? Oh, he's up and coming… Any way, he is best friends with Leonardo Di Caprio and they will be going to Jonathan Hill's birthday bash in New York. So, that's a bit of a bummer. Of course, we will be working together for a couple of months over at Warner Brother's in California on the set of a new sitcom called, "That Boy." Oh, you don't work in the industry at all? Is that my cell phone vibrating? Oh, here is Emma Stone now! Gotta Go. Ciao!"

But, I really love your acting.

Those with Master's degrees: Yes, thats another one of the elite around these parts, (LA.) "Oh, I have a Masters degree. I have accomplished as much in my life as Einstein, possibly more. I now have the right to manage any group of people in any situation, as I comprehend and understand more about everything in life than any of them. Most people seem to be infants who need my compassion and divine guidance. Thank God for me."

And, irritatingly you do know a thing or two, but could you please tone down the attitude a couple of notches?

"Oh, I am a writer…" To be Continued.

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Comments 6 comments

Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

We need more here I am so glad you said "to be continued". I think I can do all of them with aplomb!


Kathryn L Hill profile image

Kathryn L Hill 2 years ago from LA Author

Thanks Eric! What can you add about writers? I'd love to know! I guess I pushed the wrong button(S) below. Yikes!


barbaramarie profile image

barbaramarie 2 years ago from Kansas City

Very funny Kathryn! I am guessing that this is some satire on the common ailment some experience, the Ego!

I love the "I am a painter", "I am a musician", especially from those that are self proclaimed. I look forward to reading more of your writing.


Kathryn L Hill profile image

Kathryn L Hill 22 months ago from LA Author

Thank You! Encouragement is always appreciated.


Easy Exercise profile image

Easy Exercise 21 months ago from United States

Delightful! Tone it down a couple of notches - fun! From artist to actor to those with degree! Love this!


Kathryn L Hill profile image

Kathryn L Hill 21 months ago from LA Author

Thanks, Easy Exercise! I love easy exercise too… especially swimming… Oh, I am a swimmer… I am healthier than anyone on this planet, except for other swimmers, whales, dolphins and seals!

LOL!

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