The Have And Have Nots -- Jim Becomes An Adult Film Star

And once again the promo lies that will learn who was shot!

So who got shot? And how long will they drag it out, this episode?

Jim is visited by War. Asks if what’s happening to Jim is what he did to Candace. Jim tries to threaten War with prison for what he’s doing to him. War isn’t buying what Jim is selling. He asks War how much Candace is paying him and he’ll pay him more. War names $25 million as his price.

No offense, but I couldn't care less about Jim and Candace. I hated the pairing. The only time I enjoyed it was when he was rebuffing her and tossing her out on her butt.

Back to Jim and War. Blah! War tells Jim that Candace is ruthless. He tells Jim to shut up. War says he’s known Candy Cane since kindergarten. Jim reveals that Candace blackmailed him for his daughter’s inheritance. War tells Jim in the Hood they go by different laws. He really needs to give it up. He’s not going to talk his way out of this. War reveals Jim is going to make a movie. Probably so Candy Cane can blackmail him for more money, again.

Candace sneaks back to Jeffrey’s place. I know Tyler Perry thinks I’m enthralled by his Bad Bimbo and all her antics, but I’m not. I want to know who got shot. Like we were supposed to be told last episode. I’d even rather see Crazy Veronica than Candace. She’s a lot more interesting than she is.

Jeffrey reveals to Candace that Amanda knows about her and Jim thanks to Quincy. She thinks it’ll be fine, but Jeffrey doesn’t think she’s going to take it well. Candace says she’s going to send a man to Jeffrey, but he tells her not to.

Jeffrey admits when he had sex with Melissa he thought of Wyatt. Jeffrey turns it on Candace and learns she was once with a girl.

They’re not even doing any build-up to the revelation of who was shot. If this entire episode is about Candace I’m going to be extremely pissed. God, I’d even welcome a scene with Hannah at this point. That’s how much I don’t care about Candace. Maybe that’s how this is going to play out. Hannah will find the person dead in bed when she comes to work.

Back to Veronica and her super tight leather pants. She’s still waiting to be let in David’s room.

Now it’s Hannah and some woman I don’t think we’ve ever seen before. Hannah tells Lois that she doesn’t know where her grandbaby is and asks about Evelyn, Quincy’s mom. She thinks Evelyn might have the baby. Asks Lois to ask around.

Benny complains because Michael is sleeping it off in Hannah’s bed. Geez, what a jerk. Doesn’t he have any sympathy for the fact the man lost his granddaughter. Then Benny decides to check on Candace and finds her gone. Benny's pissed that Hannah doesn’t care that Candace is gone. Duh, it's not like this is anything new.

Benny starts looking for where Jeffrey lives. Hannah says Candace lied and doesn’t know Jeffrey. Oh, god, Jeffrey is going to think Benny is the man that Candace sent to him. Let’s hope he doesn’t do what she told him to do and lay a big wet one on Benny. That's not going to be pretty. Unless Benny gets kissed by a boy and likes it.

So, this show is pretty much halfway over and nothing has happened. I don’t mind dragging something out, but this is getting ridiculous.

Finally back to the Cryer Mansion and boozing Wyatt. Basically a complete repeat of last week's episode. He’s started on another decanter as he reads Daddy’s porn text messages. Yep, Wyatt, throw the phone. Again, this is so not interesting. He already knew about Daddy and Candace. Dude, go up and find the dead body, then you can booze your brains out.

And now we’re back to Daddy Jim and Candy Cane in her skanky underwear. You know, for a bad girl to be good she has to be believable and grounded in some kind of reality. Candy Cane is none of those things, that’s why ultimately she’s a big bore.

She declares Jim will worship her. Gag me with a spoon.

Jim isn’t any more impressed with her than I am. But he’s kind of dumb since an army of thugs gang banged him. Seriously dude, you’re in trouble here. You’re not in charge. They could just kill him. Yet he doesn’t think anyone would dare do it. Now that’s arrogant.

She declares she has the power. She says he’ll always regret the day he met her. She’ll still be friends with Amanda and to give Amanda her money so Candace can get her paws on it. Not if Amanda is dead, sweetheart. She wants Jim to sign an affidavit says he’s madly in love with her and she had to get a restraining order against him and to sign over his car to her. She also wants him to transfer money to her. He refuses to sign everything.

She’s going to film them having sex so she can blackmail him. Oh, yuck! Then film Jim participating in a sex orgy. That’s rape. Congratulations, Candy Cane, you helped his daughter get raped by following your advice and now you’re actually going to rape the father. Am I really supposed to be rooting for her? Don’t think so.

There’s not much time left, so unless they lied again about revealing who was shot, it will probably happen in the last few seconds of the episode as a cliffhanger for next episode. I’m going to laugh if I actually called it and Hannah finds the body.

Back to Veronica in her leather pants as the security guard finally arrives. He wants to see Veronica’s key before he’ll let her in. She tries to use who she is to muscle him into doing what she wants. More useless filler.

She finally gets let in the room after calling the boss and getting the security guard fired. The room is empty. She waits for him to return and starts taking off her jewelry. Meanwhile David puts back on his wedding ring.

Maggie asks David to spoon her and hold her for a little while. He refuses. Geez, get some self-respect, girl. He’s not that great to act so desperate and needy over. He goes back in his room and there’s Veronica. She’ll never believe the truth. She goes in and starts beating up Maggie.

And no reveal of who got shot. You suck, Tyler Perry!

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