The Makings of an Instant Winner

Easy winning

Everyone wants to be an instant winner, which explains lottery's, sweepstakes, jackpots, Las Vegas, and hundreds of boxes of uneaten cereal in my cupboard. But can you really be an instant winner without all of that hard work? By the end of this article, you may be SHOCKED by what you find! but probably not Actually, do stick around to the end if you are looking for how to legitimately win free stuff.

happy sugar cereal stickman
happy sugar cereal stickman
stickman with idea, shopping
stickman with idea, shopping
new t shirt in the mail
new t shirt in the mail
unsuccessful idea pitch to boss
unsuccessful idea pitch to boss
stickman t shirt rejection
stickman t shirt rejection
t shirt stickman successful meeting
t shirt stickman successful meeting
stickman praise with kiss
stickman praise with kiss
sorry you are not an instant winner t shirt
sorry you are not an instant winner t shirt | Source

Success Research Results

While studying the effects of wearing monkeys my research team unintentionally acquired large amounts of data on success.

Success [suh k-ses] -noun 1. The attainment of wealth, position, teetower products, honors, etc.

How does one achieve massive success via the shortest, easiest route?

  • The law of attraction. This is where you essentially sit on your ass and hope for success. An impressive amount of time and energy is dedicated to avoid spending time and energy. This method is beneficial to those who dedicate the time and energy into marketing the law of attraction to others.
  • Just do it...swoosh. You want a million dollars. How? Don't ask questions. Just do it. This method is especially useful for professional athletes, jack hammers, and Forrest Gump.
  • Research. Gather data, compile spreadsheets, hold meetings. Analyze data, spreadsheets, meetings. Throw hands into air. Hire consulting firm.
  • Mix the above to find your happy place. Define goal, determine best avenue, focus on efficiency, do it. Analyze results. Repeat. This would be the non-sarcastic entry.
  • Buy several "Sorry. Not an instant winner" t-shirts and wear regularly in high visibility areas. This is the most beneficial method to me.
  • Marry into money. Single male art prodigy with defined calves seeks well-endowed single woman.




Have you ever seen anyone push so hard just to sell some shirts?

  • Yes, and it's the last time I buy a case of Onesies from a street vendor
  • No, and we love that about you
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How to Actually Win Stuff

Well since you've bought several dozen shirts by now and I've brought you into this with the title "Instant Winner" I'll let you in on how to win sweepstakes prizes, giveaways, cash prizes, etc. First off, do people really win these things? In most developed countries, sweepstakes regulations are pretty strict. Companies can't just promise prizes and not deliver. So the answer is yes.

If you don't have time to read, that's a list of stories where people have won. Some of the prizes mentioned: Cars, trucks, boat, 4 wheeler, kitchen remodeling, televisions, computers, super bowl tickets, game systems, trips, food, and of course cash. Two comments stood out to me. They both knew repeated winners who won multiple high ticket prizes. How did they do this?

They spend a lot of their time just filling out "No purchase necessary" sweepstakes. And not just four or five. They enter these things all over the country. Probably in the hundreds or thousands.

Some of the commenters mentioned that when they won, there were not that many contestants even entered. Maybe other people didn't claim their prizes. Maybe the company didn't advertise the sweepstakes that well. Who knows?

So where are all of these "No purchase necessary" sweepstakes? We live in an awesome age, where "no purchase necessary sweepstakes 2011" returns 1.25 million results on Google. On page one I see sweepstakes for a Honda Civic, Ford Mustang, $1 million, $50,000, 2 week cruise, electronics, mattress, shopping spree, food, jewelry, dream home, and various other cash and non-cash prizes. There are many different federal and state laws but since there are legal differences, seek "sweepstakes" first, not "contests" or "lotteries". Sweepstakes are something for nothing, while generally the latter two means you have to do something or buy something to win. See the wiki for more legal info.

There are some catches. The most obvious is the odds. You'll spend countless hours finding them, reading over the rules, and entering. It takes a lot of dedication and a lot of time with no guarantee of winnings (though you could argue the odds move in your favor if you are truly dedicated). But also don't forget you have to pay taxes on winnings. You may have to take a cash equivalent or sell your winnings if you don't have enough money. This is not my cup of tea, but if you give it a go, have fun and good luck!

  • Additional tip. I imagine you'll tire of filling in form after form. If so try using a free automatic form-filler like LastPass or Roboform. This way you won't have to type your address, phone number, etc. a thousand times.

Do Something Great

I usually get bursts of ambition when I watch a documentary about someone really creative and pioneering like Walt Disney, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, etc. People like this raise the bar and make me think that anything is possible. After watching, I am inspired to achieve. But,

Why should I?

Why do something great? Why not just do well enough to get by and watch television the rest of the time? I think it's a good question, especially since I am no longer confident in divine intervention and human purpose in everything. Learning about evolution and the vastness of the universe can lead one to conclude that we're not all that special and everything is futile.

Well, that may be true. It may also be true that when we die, we will never live again and experience nothing but blackness. So whether we decide to live like Brad Pitt or whether we decide to live a life of boredom may make no difference to any of us in a hundred years. But even if that's true, we're here now. So we've got a couple of choices. We can sit around and drudge through mediocre lives, hoping for a more exciting life on the other side. We can also pout that we're heading fast forward into nothing. Or we can try to live every single second. Screw the cosmos. Screw eternity. Be good to each other and just live. I choose the latter. It's more fulfilling and more fun right now. And surely if there's a God (S)He would want us to enjoy life and have fun.

How to do something great

Emulate people you admire and who have done what you are trying to do. Surround yourself with people of like-minded ambition and talent even if they haven't "made it" yet. Better yet, hang out with people more talented than you. Have you ever watched that show "Inside the Actor's Studio"? I've watched several episodes and one thing I noticed is that a lot of the big stars spent a lot of their time with other stars before any of them were famous. They moved to New York or Hollywood and lived on each others' couches. They creatively fed off of each other and most importantly, they put in the work.

Fear. Screw fear. Just do it.

Work smart and work hard. A backhoe is more efficient than a shovel. Focus your efforts on your strengths and outsource your weaknesses.

Keep your focus. I haven't achieved greatness in anything because I haven't stuck to anything long enough. Up until now I've jumped from project to project and haven't followed through on any one idea.

Experiment. Most great pioneers constantly experiment. Ask questions, learn, and follow your curiosity. Maybe you'll stumble onto something that nobody's tried before and that's where you plow forward.

Self-motivating tee

do something great backwards
do something great backwards

Do something great t-shirt

Grab this self-motivating t-shirt as a semi-regular reminder. It reads 'do something great' in front of a mirror. If you're as vain as me, it will be a constant reminder. You cannot succeed without this shirt yes you can.

Gut Check

Are you living your dreams?

  • Yes
  • No
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Your thoughts

Thanks for reading. I'm no expert so have your say.

What advice can you give on achieving something great?
What things in life have you done well (or great)? Parenting? Charity? Career? Hobby?
Where have you messed up and what would (will) you do differently?

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