The Queen's Speech: Westminster, 2012

I'm lost for words

Give me a leafy wood and a Nightingale

What the hell is wrong with this ageing hack? I love most life forms on the planet, even some of the two-legged ones.

Why, then, of all man’s useless endeavors, does the Queen’s Speech leave me feeling so twitter and bisted?

Well, what utter mind dulling, hypocritical and phony garbage!

Cameron and the Forty Thieves write some nonsense on a bit of parchment, and the royal crone is loaded onto a coach once again and carried to Westminster to send the country to sleep for an hour.

The poor old figurehead doesn’t compose a word of it herself. It’s carefully constructed to beat around the bush and misinform by our Tory Government. Mrs. Windsor, or Regina, or whatever her name is, begins each pea-shattering edict with “My Government will…” And the whole flock of the who’s who (should that be who’s whom?) of the nation crowds round the thrones, (where the poor old Prince Philip gazes sharply around as if he could really, see, hear, or give a shit if he could).

We’re going to be doing this crap all year for the old crab’s diamond jubilee: parades, 10,000 gun salutes, barges up the Thames, and Harry and Willie charging all round the world hoping to interest other nations in the charade. I hope they get told to bugger off, I really do.

The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists here whine, “Isn’t she marvelous, doing all this at her age?”

While 100 million wrinkled old peasant women all over the world toil in fields wondering where the money to just survive is coming from.

All this pageantry! The millions spent on clothing and the security, etc., just so her majesty can read out a paper I could write in 10 minutes and the PM could read in twenty, which would make just as much sense.

Why do we hang on to this charade while millions are out of work and the country is in double-dip recession (not mentioned by Liz). Many lands are anti royalist and anti inherited wealth and privilege. No here. Brits are dumb as oxen I’m afraid. Once we had to put up with it, and now we can’t get the psychological foot off our necks.

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Comments 21 comments

Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Bob - 'I second that emotion', a complete waste of time but she has to be seen to be doing it all in her name for constitutional reasons, I bet she's actually bored rigid. Philip is sitting there wishing they would bring on the lobster sandwiches and pigs in blankets with a bottle of port to wash it down. And you're right of course, there are people on the bones of their a*se in our own country who could use the money spent on this fiasco in more meaningful ways. The whole diamond jubilee thing should be brought down a notch finance wise when people are so hard up. I don't mind her having a celebration, but she should be getting the booze and snacks from Aldi.

diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico Author

And how lucky he is to have those things on offer.

They get worse as the poor get poorer.

Time they went


bell du jour profile image

bell du jour 4 years ago from Ireland

Hmmmmmmmm Bob I think you're a great writer but with this article you are sounding a little bitter :-( I can't help but think if your Monarch was a man you would have a bit more respect?? Correct me if I'm wrong.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico Author

You're wrong m'dear, I don't go along with landed gentry and privilege by birth.

I'm surprised you do, being Irish I think


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

All political speeches are a waste of time.

cathylynn99 profile image

cathylynn99 4 years ago from northeastern US

i can't believe she didn't mention the recession.

diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico Author

Hi cathylynne! The PM's bullshit boys write this garbage, she ain't gonna mention no recession!

Where ya been Cath? I think you've abandoned me.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico Author

You know how to say it, Will.


bell du jour profile image

bell du jour 4 years ago from Ireland

Bob as you know we don't have a Royal Family in Ireland so we are a little fancinated, and we all love Lizzie, we just think she's a nice old lady:-)


recappers delight profile image

recappers delight 4 years ago

Queen Elizabeth is a tourist attraction. She's like a museum piece. That's the way I view her as an American. I wonder how much money the pomp and pageantry brings into Great Britain? Does it equal the expense?

writeronline 4 years ago

Hi Bob, I smiled as I read this. 'Much ado about nothing' springs to mind. Not your writing. The speech. The pomp. The pointlessness.

As to, "Once we had to put up with it, and now we can’t get the psychological foot off our necks", do you think the love and loyalty that the British people (of a new generation) feel for HM will be as readily transferable to Prince Charles, (or William if Charles predeceases him), as in previous times?

As the current celebrations reinforce, it's a long, long time since the Queen's Coronation, and the last auto-transfer, so no opportunity to challenge/question has presented itself.

Perhaps 'a change is gonna come'?

BobbiRant profile image

BobbiRant 4 years ago from New York

Perhaps she and the Prince need a good royal nursing home about now? Ahhhh this woman looks like she will live forever. I sincerely hope the country does not 'prop her up' to ride the countryside waving and speaking (if she is able) like another country does to a Pope who looks like one foot is in the grave and one on a banana peel! Had to say that! Great hub. God save the Queen, or the UK maybe.

Rebecca E. profile image

Rebecca E. 4 years ago from Canada

as always, what a good laugh I get-- mind you at her age she'd probably not know what to do-- I do know what should happen after she's gone. (Mind you the duyt and respect thing, well I suppse that can stay)

stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia

Yes I think it seems like she is really going to live forever too!

(Your new profile pic is very smart too Bob ;)

diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico Author

Yes, she will be mummified soon I expect. That's the new me, I have decided to loose a year every birthday until I disappear!

You getting some action over there?

Brad Pittance x

jessdodge 4 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

God save the queen

diogenes 4 years ago

Ain't no god, which there wasn't no queen!


jessdodge 4 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

I feel physically ill over your statements, in many are entitled to your opinion by all means. I just can't understand why anyone would make such statements is all. Educate me please.

diogenes profile image

diogenes 4 years ago from UK and Mexico Author

Go educate yourself! You obviously haven't so far.

I am getting a fund togther to ship the queen and all these close bred Lord Haw-haws over the the USA, along with the bridge in Arizona and the Queen Elizabeth ship...or was it the Mary?

You are welcome to the lot of them...


Au fait profile image

Au fait 2 years ago from North Texas

What mean things you say about Cousin Liz! If nothing else she and her court jesters bring billions of $ (meant £) to GB. What reason would one have to visit the UK if not to watch the changing of the guard, etc.? All that pomp and circumstance creates jobs for the peasantry. Suspect your Queen and Co. cost you much less than our Congress, more than half of which are multi-millionaires -- and they got that way after taking office!

Hope you're in good spirits . . . xox

diogenes profile image

diogenes 2 years ago from UK and Mexico Author

I have had a hellish weekend with sick pet in vets for five days. He is at home with my ex now but very weak, not eating and we have our fingers crossed...the legs in her case for a change.

And this blasted Xmas again. Well, good to have the Scrooge reruns: I hope they have the Kelsey Grammar one, best ever...

Nice to see ya oxox

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