The Secret Life Of An American Teenager -- The Worst Kept Secret Comes Out Of The Closet

Original Airing: April 1, 2013

The episode opened with Amy coming to confront George for lying that he was Robie’s father. Apparently, gross David couldn’t wait to go running to Anne. When will George ever learn to keep his big mouth shut? You know I could understand cheating on someone for someone better looking, but cheating on someone with someone who is gross and repulsive? But this is Anne we’re talking about, after all. It kind of says it all.

George gets fed up with Amy acting so holier than thou with him and throws it right back at her. He knows she lied about being married. And that seemed to be the warning shot for the worst kept secret on the show coming out of the closet.

Ricky was still on the rag acting all nice to Amy’s face while passive aggressively whining about how Amy always gets what she wants. Yeah, I’m sure she wanted to get pregnant by him and to be a teenage mother, instead of enjoying her life like most teenage girls her age are. If this dink is being this resentful towards her he needs to have the balls to tell her he doesn’t want to marry her.

Jack was still residing in CrazyTown as he refused to believe God hadn’t healed him. Even when his doctor showed him X-Rays proving his arm and leg weren’t healed, yet. The doctor suggested he go see a shrink, but gave him a smaller cast to hopefully appease the nutcase. Then George got a nice taste of CrazyTown when Jack suggested that if George prayed really really hard God would make Robie his son and not David’s. He also told George he knows a secular doctor [a doctor that’s a Christian] would be God had healed him.

Jack’s crazy God talk is getting to be too much for Grace and she started spreading her magic to other poor souls who didn’t want what she was selling. She tried to get Chloe to come to church, but Chloe said her life has only been better for 90 days. She’s not ready to forgive God quite yet for the cesspool her life has been up until now. Then she tried to cozy up to Amy and suggest that it was pretty much the same thing Amy finding out Robie was her half-brother as discovering she had a half-brother, as well. Like Chloe, Amy blew off Grace and walked away. Unfortunately, before she did that she mentioned that Anne has called off her wedding as she just can’t stand the thought of being at the wedding with George. So Grace suggests to Kathleen that she throw Amy a wedding, instead. Kathleen said there were two other mothers involved: Margaret and Nora, and they might have something to say about that.

Anne gets a little bit of her own back when her new lover, Willowdine can’t wait to leave through the nearest exit. She doesn’t want to deal with Anne’s drama and suggests she go spend time with her mother.

When George finds out what Anne has done he calls her up. When she keeps hanging up on her he leaves a message on her voice mail that Amy lied about being married, so the marriage has to take place. Wanting to share the misery, Anne calls up and tells Nora about it. Later, Nora warns George that with as vindictive and spiteful as Anne is [those are my words and not hers] Anne might evict them next, as she owns the house. Amy also warned George she thinks Anne will refuse to let George have anything to do with Robie.

Since all the mothers know about the big marriage lie minus Margaret, Ricky has to grow a pair and breaks the news to Margaret. Maybe next he could be honest with Amy and tell her he doesn’t want to marry her and doesn’t even like her anymore.

Now that Ricky feels that Adrian really made him feel loved and Amy doesn’t he had the first civil conversation he’s had with her in God only knows how long. Usually he’s a total dick to her. From it, Adrian surmised that Ricky and Amy aren’t really married and he doesn’t really want to marry Amy for real. Turns out both Adrian and Clementine searched online for proof of Ricky and Amy’s marriage. She suggests that Clementine has a shot with Ricky since Amy and Ben will be going off to the same school. Guess she didn’t get the memo that Ben is no longer interested in Amy and doesn’t think he ever really loved her. I’m sure Adrian is just going to love to her that one. She might have appreciated it more if he’d had that epiphany while he was married to her and treating her like a dick because he wanted Amy back.

Omar was once again trying to get Adrian to set a wedding date, but she stayed firm in wanting to wait until she’s halfway finished with her schooling. She thinks [and probably rightly so] if she marries him now she’ll never finish her schooling and attain the career goals she’s set for herself.

Creepthan was back to his usual creepy and controlling self as he didn’t like Kathy becoming friends with Chloe because she used to be a hooker. Kathy, in turn, didn’t like Ethan showing around pictures of the house she lives in Texas. Her two fake friends dumped her because she has more money than they do and lives in a better house than they do. She and Chloe actually start to build a real friendship. It would be ironic if he went to Texas so she could stay in town and she ends up dumping his sorry butt.

Lastly, Jack gets upset that Grace has told people he’s staying with her. He also doesn’t like Chloe asking after his health. He blows up at Grace telling her he doesn’t remember what happened to him when Chloe’s pimp attacked him and doesn’t want to remember.

They showed George in bed with Kathleen, again, this week. There was no way to figure out if this time he was able to get it up and have sex with her, or if they were just lying in bed together. There was also no more talk about Kathleen’s doubts about her relationship with George.

So, as the episodes start to dwindle down to the last episode there’s no sure sign of who will end up with whom. Grace and Jack don’t seem fated to make it for the long haul as the dude has some serious problems. Ricky and Amy are up in the air. And it was hard to tell what Nora’s feelings are for Willowdine and Anne, as she was upset Willowdine intended to get away from Anne as fast as she could. The only couple that seems definitely off the table is Ben and Amy.

I haven’t watched this show for very long regularly. I just started after Adrian had lost her baby and Ben was being such a crud to her. I actually liked couples that apparently no one else did. I liked Ben and Amy, Adrian and Ricky, and Jack and Grace. I think I can safely say none of them will end up together. I must say just watching this show has been a real trip. The way these people act and think it’s beyond imagination. And I still wish they’d had canceled this show sooner and kept Make It Or Break It which I thought was a much better show.

It’ll be interesting to see if the actual ending is better than ending with Ricky graduating and asking Amy to marry him.

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