The Secret Life Of The American Teenager -- Road Trip

Original Airing: April 8, 2013

One of the many warped things about this show is when you’re watching you get the feeling of being on drugs without having taken anything. Remember Ben’s epiphany of not really being into Amy, at all, and then getting back involved with Dylan? Well, forget that, now he seems to be back into Amy, again. Yeah, mind-twisting, isn’t it?

I know a lot of people can’t stand Ben, but I don’t mind Ben. He could never be as irritating and loathsome and just plain awful as Creepthan. Creepthan got accused of cheating on a math test and guess what? He did it. Kathy, who is a math whiz, offered to tutor him. He turned her down because that would be just too lowering for him to have to be tutored by his girlfriend. After last week and this Kathy was wondering why she even came back to town to be with him when he’s behaving like such a little crud.

In an unintentionally funny moment or one of those “I haven’t done drugs, but watching this show makes me feel I’ve taken something,” Creepthan declared his real talents lay with his people skills. Yeah, you could really see that when both the guy that adopted Kathy’s baby and Kathy’s father wanted to ram Creepthan’s teeth down his throat.

Creepthan then asked Amy to tutor him in math and gave her a hard time about wanting to go to New York to tour the Hudson University Campus even though she may not be going there. Ben is also going to be touring the same place. Creepthan ended up finally getting tutored by Dicky, and considering the way Dicky behaved in this episode, it was a case of birds of feather flocking together.

Dicky was a real Dick this episode. He started it off by dreaming or fantasizing he was screwing Clementine in his and Amy’s bed and Clementine was begging him not to go through with marrying Amy. Then Amy showed up with a huge metal ball chained to her leg and declared since they had a baby together they have no choice but to be together.

Then things only got better when Dicky revealed that any mail Amy gets from HudsonUniversity he’s been opening. When she admits she’d like to go to New York to tour the campus, even though she may not go there, he demands she remove his mother’s ring. Later, after he gets a love note from Clementine he’s suddenly okay with Amy going to New York. Hate Ben all you like, but he was right when he told Amy she should be suspicious over Dicky’s sudden change in attitude.

George was also having a change in attitude. He came down for breakfast dressed like a sharp dressed man and declared he was now a meterosexual. See what I mean about it being one of those episodes? George seemed to take to heart Nora’s warning that vindictive Anne may evict him from the house because she owns it. He also started thinking about how involved Anne is with his furniture business and decided he needed to get Anne’s cooties off his life, completely. He went out and bought Geoff’s restaurant. That way if Anne does evict him from the house he’ll have some place to live. He also says he wants to marry Kathleen. Unless he was pulling a Jack, his sex drive is apparently running on all eight cylinders, again, and it was a one-off when he couldn’t rise to the occasion.

Speaking of Jack, while Grace wants him to either move back to the dorm or his parents, he’s going around telling people Grace is insisting he live with her. Grace went off with Kathleen for a week to go look at college campuses, but before going she tries to get him to admit he won’t go home because he’s afraid the pimp who beat him up will find him. She tries to get him to go to see a psychiatrist, but he’s still spouting his stuff about being God’s chosen one. With Grace and Kathleen gone, he tries to get Adrian and Ricky to let him stay with them to help them, but they won’t bite.

Jack hits critical mass when he offers to drive Nora to work and he falls asleep at the wheel and smashes into the back of a police car. Then when George is bringing Tom home, Jack [who got a gun from somewhere] takes a shot at George.

Adrian spent a great portion of time rhapsodizing over her relationship and love with Omar to Dicky. She was trying to show him hers was better than his. Then she declared Omar would never go off to New York and leave her beyond, only to arrive home to find Omar doing just that. Ben made matters worse when he texted Adrian from the plane that Amy and Omar were sitting together and getting on like gangbusters. Jealous Adrian has nothing to worry about. As bad as Dicky is, Omar is worse, and I’m sure Amy feels Adrian is welcome to him. But I’m sure Adrian will hop a flight to New York to make sure Amy doesn’t steal her man from her.

So to recap: Dicky is having sex dreams of Clementine and opening Amy’s mail, but a love note from his sexual fantasy girl gets him to send Amy off to New York with his blessings. Sounds like he’s hoping Amy will do what he doesn’t have the balls to do and end their relationship. Then he can go toddling off to Clementine guilt-free. Kathy seems to be having buyer’s remorse over leaving Texas to be with Creepthan when with each passing week he becomes more and more creepier. Ben’s epiphany of never being that into Amy didn’t last long. He was asking her to go check out schools with him overseas. George is now a meterosexual restaurant owner that nearly got his wings clipped when Jack thought he was a pimp and took a shot at him. And more and more people are becoming clued into the fact that Jack isn’t fine.

Of course, by next week it may be like none of this ever happened and you imagined it all.

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