The Ten Worst Films of 2012 (#10)
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER
I didn't go into this thinking it would be particularly great. The title alone pretty much demanded I lower my expectations immediately. But what I was hoping for was a ridiculous action-adventure that, if it did nothing else, at least kept me entertained.
Needless to say, it didn't.
Horses get thrown. Trees get chopped down (quite dramatically). Blood gets sucked. There's no denying that a lot of crazy stuff happens, but there's something about the way Timur Bekmambetov films it that just doesn't work. The over-the-top violence doesn't occur as frequently as you might expect, and when it does, it's not really that exciting.
The problem with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter isn't its seemingly awkward meshing of history and fantasy. It's that it takes itself way too seriously, and as a result, it becomes boring pretty fast.
Speaking of which, Benjamin Walker was anything but engaging. In the scene where his Lincoln gives a speech standing next to a pitcher of water, I'm more interested in the pitcher.
But perhaps this isn't all his doing. Between this film and Spielberg's much more traditional (and much longer) version, I'm beginning to wonder if our nation's 16th president was also our least interesting.
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