The Vampire Diaries -- American Gothic Was More Like American Crapfest

Original Airing: March 28, 2013

I guess maybe you have to be a shipper to buy the load of dog poo the latest episode tried to sell. If you’re a shipper all you care about is getting what you want. You don’t care about character integrity or storyline consistency or character development or any of the stuff I care about when 'mI watching a TV show. You don’t really care about the quality of the show with all the threats to quit watching unless you get the couple you want. You would be gazing at the screen with stars in your eyes and happiness over getting what you want. Me, on the other hand, was making faces at the screen and declaring what a load of bogus crap they were shoveling.

Elijah/Elena fans used to drive me nuts going on and on about him, but I actually felt sorry for them, this week. While they got the romantic Elena/Elijah moment they wanted, it was a done where they got urinated on for the price of admission. Yes, their beloved Elena and Elijah shared a kiss, but Elijah thought she was Katherine. Then he added the cherry to the top by threatening to kill Elena if anything happened to his beloved Katerina. Although maybe all they cared about is they got their kiss and ignored the rest. Shippers can ignore what they don’t like and only focus on getting their moment.

At this point I was like, “Whoa! Wait a minute! What kind of crap are they trying to sell here?” Elijah was hunting down Katherine for Klaus. He trapped her in the tomb forever, and she in turn did everything in her power to make sure he stayed dead. And for the last few seasons Elijah has been enthralled by the magnificence that is/was Elena Gilbert. He worshipped at her shrine and made puppy dog eyes at her whenever he was in a scene with her. But now he suddenly loves his beloved Katerina to the point he’ll kill Elena for her. And last we saw Katherine she gave up her freedom to save Damon, but now she’s in love with Elijah to the point she gave him the cure. I call utter total BS.

I’ve noticed that there was a sudden shipper group arising for Katherine/Elijah, but if you scratch the surface I’m willing to bet underneath you’ll discover they’re really DE fans fake shipping, again. They fake ship anyone that could be an obstacle to their beloved pairing. They tried fake shipping Stefan and Katherine. But Plec doesn’t apparently think or get that as she caters and panders to a new shipping group.

I’m sure Julie Plec saw this as being able to pander to two shipper groups at the same time. She gives the Elena/Elijah fans a kiss between them and the Katherine/Elijah fans the relationship they’ve been pushing. Of course, the truly hilarious thing is while Elena/Elijah got a kiss, Katherine/Elijah got no romantic scene, just her claiming to love him. Whatever! And the DE’s got a new line from the show they can parrot to support their cause. Damon doesn’t know and understand Katherine, that’s why they could never support a pairing between them. Again, whatever!

One of the reasons I loathed the idea of Elena becoming a vampire was because I was afraid Julie Plec [and her Elena obsession] would make her the biggest and bestest vampire of them all. So, I was pleasantly surprised when that didn’t happen. What I should have taken into consideration is Plec wouldn’t have Elena being the baddest vampire ever unless she could make it not Elena’s fault. So now Damon used the sire bond to get Elena to shut off her emotions she has become the most baddest, craftiest, cleverest vampire there ever was. Whatever!

It wasn’t fun watching Barbie and PJ getting the better of Katherine and pushing her around. There’s been another fan group just pandering for scenes between Rebekah and Katherine. Well they got them, hope they enjoyed them. I actually derived a great deal of pleasure when Rebekah discovered she took a fake cure. I got sick of the little blonde bully and enjoyed her getting a little of her own back. Whatever charm Rebekah had wore off a long time ago.

Another thing I’m sick of is this lame cure story. Yet again, another season where the lead story is all about Elena; it’s been like this since season 2: Season 2: everyone was fighting to save Elena’s life. Season 3: Elena was the precious doppelganger needed to make hybrids, she was the brain who deciphered ancient cave paintings when Alaric couldn’t, she was the wannabe vampire slayer, and she was the key to stopping super duper vampire slayer Alaric. And in season 4: it’s all about finding the cure to save Elena and her humanity.

Speaking of Elena, she put the Salvador brothers on notice she doesn’t want the cure and won’t take it. She killed a waitress and threatened to kill tons of people more if they don’t stop. She says every person she kills is their fault for not accepting her as she now is and trying to fix her. Stefan needs to stop equating what she’s doing to him being The Ripper. He didn’t become The Ripper because he turned off his emotions. He became The Ripper because he couldn’t control his blood lust. Just some more story history the writers twisted and warped with their inability to stay true to a character’s history.

I used to think I’d watch this show until the end to watch Damon’s character evolution, much like I did with Lost and Sawyer’s character evolution. But the fact is Damon’s character development ended in season two when Kevin Williamson left the building. He hasn’t gotten one bit of character development since then, but then neither have any of the other characters. Plec has been too busy with her shipper pandering.

Ironically, Plec’s pet character, Stefan, got a little moment of character development. Of course, if there’s any follow through it’ll be surprising. And it only happened because Paul Wesley has been pushing for a new love interest and a story away from Elena since last season. Stefan told Damon it’s time to break this endless cycle of them getting involved with the same women and after he gets the cure for Elena, he’s going to go and build a life for himself away from Elena. If he actually does, Damon will probably start panting after that chick, too, trying to take her away from Stefan, since Damon declared it’s their thing to screw the same chick.

Plec also managed to do some shipper pandering to her favorite repulsive duo she’s been pushing since last season, Caroline and Klaus. Klaus was moaning and groaning because Silas left a piece of the white oak ash in him when he pulled it back out. Long story short when Klaus was fighting with Vampire Barbie and he felt no pain he realized he was never in pain and Silas just put that in his mind. Now Caroline is worried what kind of mind phantoms Silas may put in all of their minds.

I’m still hoping at the end of this season it’ll all be just Elena’s bad dream. Unless they plan to kill off Bonnie, how is she going to live with the fact she helped slaughter twelve of her own kind. Giving into fans wanting Bonnie to morph into Dark Willow has really ruined this character. If Elena dreamed everything from the moment she collapsed at the Gilbert House, then that ridiculous Damon fake memory of meeting Elena first will never have happened, either. While the DE’s won’t like it, it’ll restore some story integrity as the Damon in that flashback didn’t gel with the Damon we first met in season one. Jeremy will still be alive. And Elena won’t be a vampire. For me that’s a win-win all around. If only the show could go back to the end of season 2 and say everything from that point on was just a bad dream, the show could undo a lot of damage that Plec and her fan pandering has done.

I’ll probably sample the first few episodes of next season to see if the show improves any without the Originals around. Hopefully, Plec will leave and let someone new with some fresh ideas take over The Vampire Diaries. Someone that’s main motivation isn’t pleasing fans who tweet her on Twitter, but telling a good story and being true to the characters’ history.

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