The Vampire Diaries -- Do Not Go Gentle
I Didn't Shed A Tear
Yeah, I was crying like a baby over all Mark and Bopper endured on this week's episode of The Amazing Race, but I didn't shed a tear over Alaric. Probably because for me the character died a long time ago. Julie Plec killed Damon and Alaric's friendship in 3.04 and then she turned Alaric into a crazed killer, I felt his death was inevitable from the moment they revealed he was the killer. So I didn't really feel much over this.
I guess if one is kind and forgets the fact that this season has been riddled with mass story line inconsistencies, you could say the reason Damon was still acting the same towards Alaric, while Alaric was constantly putting him down, is because his other persona, Dick, was already emerging, turning against Damon in his little special times in hell with Esther.
I actually enjoyed the first half of the show. I even said to myself with surprise, "This is actually good for a change." I was surprised because not many episodes have been very good or enjoyable this season. I think I enjoyed the first half because the show for a change didn't begin with Elena. And she wasn't focused on much. Unfortunately, the latter half all that changed and the episode started taking a nosedive.
After how bitchy Vampire Barbie has been towards Damon, I wouldn't want anything happening between him and her. But she really seemed like she was jealous about Elena making out with Damon. Hence her pushing Elena to bring Stefan to the dance. The better to keep her away from Damon. And she also warned Matt he should stay away from Elena because people get hurt around her. It's like if she's had them, she thinks they belong to her, forever. If Plec would actually use the show history correctly she could say this goes back to season one Caroline who was jealous because Elena was always everyone's first choice. But since she's become the perfect plastic vampire Barbie doll, she doesn't have flaws and insecurities like that. She was also making her usual digs at the missing Rebekah, which has gotten beyond old.
Meanwhile Resther was manipulating a clueless Klaus to go to the dance. Once he agreed, she got Ric to stab Rebekah so she could return to her own body. Yes, history repeated itself for Rebekah. A school dance she's planning to attend and someone stakes her and she gets put back in her coffin.
Dick calls Damon to say he's decided to leave town for awhile. Damon doesn't buy it. While he can get suckered by Bitchlena because he thinks she's better than she is and wouldn't do the things she does to him: IE: have his brother break his neck and using him as a lab rat in her little kissing experiment, he's usually on the ball with everyone else. He goes and checks out Dick's place and finds the bottle of herbs. He then goes to Meredith and fills her in and they realize they've got trouble.
Between talking to Dick and finding the herbs, Damon had the pleasure of hearing Stefan on the phone being asked to the dance by Princess E. I was dreading Damon being jealous of one so unworthy, but I don't think he was jealous. I think he acted like anyone would act if some little tease shoves her tongue down your throat and then is asking your brother to be her date. Damon suggested Stefan give her a white gardenia. Actually, if there's a flower signifying two-faced user that would have been appropriate in this situation. Stefan gave her a white rose which is supposed to signify...come on, everyone, laugh with me...purity.
Yeah, Stefan has a pure heart even though he gets his jollies ripping women's heads off and Elena's little Miss Purity when the week before she was dry-humping Damon to see if she has feelings for him. I just crack up when Julie Plec pulls out the purity card for either one of these characters, especially Stefan. Still laughing over Emily Bennett declaring Stefan's curse was to have a pure heart.
Anyway, Bonnie came to the dance with Jamie. They've apparently had some kind of insta-romance off-camera where most of Miss Bonnie's stories take place. Not that I mind, since she's not one of my favorite characters. Tyler showed up to dance with Vampire Barbie and had to fake still being sired when Klaus ordered him to let him dance with VB. And, of course, the Prince and Princess of Purity were also dancing the night away until Damon showed up and ruined things to fill them in on Dick.
Of course, little Jeremy had to follow them and listen and put his uninformed two cents worth in. Damon thought it was time to put Ric out of his misery and it's what he would want, and I agree with Damon. He knows Ric a lot better than the Gilbert Twits. I do think Ric would rather die than go around and kill more people. But the Gilbert Twit perspective of this is as long as he doesn't kill someone they like then it's fine with them.
Back at the dance, I actually found Bonnie and Jamie kind of nice together. I also think it may be better for them if they got developed off-screen, because Julie Plec would have made a mess of it if she developed them on-camera. Look at Tyler and Caroline. Fans of them can go on about what a loyal girlfriend she is, but she's only been loyal in the last few episodes. Earlier in the season she snuck out of bed like she regretted doing him. She gave him no support or help when Klaus turned him into a vampire. And she kicked him to the curb when she learned he was sired to Klaus. She's a craptastic girlfriend. So having a relationship developed totally off-screen is a good thing when Julie Plec is writing it.
As for Caroline/Klaus, I'm sure it's a real turn on when you order someone's boyfriend to let you dance with his girlfriend because he's enslaved to you and then go on about how he knows your some big time vampiress who'll never be happy in a small town and how he wants to show you the world. And even if she isn't ready now, he knows she'll come running if he comes back to town a few years down the line. And if you don't, he could always bite you and this time let you die.
To be honest their scene together was kind of laughable. Forcing someone to dance with you is never what one would call romantic. Showing you've got someone's boyfriend enslaved is also not romantic. But then nothing about these two is romantic.
Anyway, Damon and Stefan discover Esther has spilled salt around the school so no vampires can get out, and I've got to ask, didn't anyone see her doing that and like wonder what the heck she was doing? Anyway, dimwitted Princess Purity goes off with Esther when she tells her to come with her. Esther didn't even have to threaten her and all her loved ones were inside, the dimwit just walked off with her. I suppose Esther could have crossed her salt circle, but the point is dimwit didn't even have to be threatened to go off with her. Maybe if she hadn't gone with her so willingly what happened to Alaric wouldn't have happened.
And this is about where the episode started falling apart for me when it became about Princess Purity. Damon had to interrupt Bonnie and Jamie getting it on to break the spell. She wanted Damon to apologize for what he did to her mommy. Damon's apology was totally insincere, not the apology Bonnie fans have been demanding. Apparently, Bamoaners [the group of Bonnie fans that make something romantic between Bonnie and Damon out of nothing] apparently have done the same with the sarcastic apology, going on about how they'll be a couple when there has never been one moment when there's been anything romantic between them. It's a prime example of crack shipping where shippers make-up stuff that doesn't exist because they got some bug up their butt about wanting two characters that have had no romantic scenes together in a romance.
I have to admit it's been Bonnie fans that have turned me off the character to the point I just wish they'd kill her off. I've watched them pimp the most ugliest pairings for her, simply because the guy is supernatural. They believe only supernatural will do for their girl. Damon tried to murder Bonnie, there's never been any romantic scenes between them and he's killed her mother. Klaus tried to murder Bonnie and tried to murder her best friend. They absolutely hated Jeremy being paired with their girl because he wasn't supernatural, but guess what? Now that Jeremy has suddenly become supernatural he's suddenly become acceptable to them. Now they hate Jamie because he's not supernatural.
Esther takes Princess Purity to the spot where Klaus ripped her heart out of her chest. I was wondering how he killed mommy and now I know. So Esther's apparently running around alive without a heart in her body. Esther uses Dick's ring and melts it in the fire to make the last remaining oak ash stake indestructible, she also puts the whammy on it so if Dick kills one Original with the stake, they'll all die.
I know it's an unpopular opinion, but I like Esther. She's a real villain, unlike her whiny pony-drawing son, Klaus. I like Percy of Nikita and Rumpelstiltskin on Once Upon A Time. I like a smart villain whose plans are smart and make sense. This is a good plan. I also think it's sad that Esther has more feeling for Jenna than Princess Purity. PP snarled at Esther not to mention Jenna's name, but at least Esther remembers her which is more than PP does. PP pretty much forgot her the second she put her rose on her grave and got on with chasing after Stefan. Esther doesn't understand how PP can be such a vampire-loving ho since it was vampires that caused Jenna's death. She also tells PP that Jenna is at peace and not living in hell with the rest of the vampires because she died an innocent.
Turning the white oak ash into a super Original killing stake is just Part A of Esther's plan. The next part is to turn Dick into a super duper Vampire Hunter. To do that, she intends to make him an Original vampire with all their strength and speed. She needs PP's blood to do it. This was one of my favorite moments when she put the hex on PP who thought if she said no, that was the end of that. Nope, Esther made PP screech in pain as she got the blood from the twit that she needed. Then she killed Dick after he consumed the blood.
The Junior League, in the form of Matt and Jeremy, showed up to stop Esther, and she put the hex on them too. She made them point their weapons at each other. See, this is why I love Esther. She's a good villain. She handles her foes mano a mano. If it was Klaus, he who would have hidden behind the nearest bush until the danger was over.
Alas we don't know if Esther would have had the boys shoot each other, because Ric snuck up behind her and stabbed her in the back. Guess he's been hanging around PP too much, since sneaking up on someone from behind is her MO.
Okay, I know Plec thought that was a moving scene of everyone gathered waiting for Ric to kick-off, but I swear she stole it from Facebook's The Vampire Diaries: Get Sucked In. At the end of chapter one of the game all the characters gather around you in the circle of trust with lighted candles. I thought that moment was schmaltzy in the game and I found it equally schmaltzy on the show.
Let's talk about who was there. Caroline, whose father was brutally murdered by Ric to turn him into a vampire. Tyler, who the last time he saw Ric, Ric was spitting on him and treating him like the town leper. And poor little delusional Jeremy going on about how he wouldn't have anyone to look after him. Excuse me, but when did Ric actually look after Jeremy? The answer was never. He was too far up PP's butt to get Jeremy a notice. He and PP shipped Jeremy off to Denver after getting Damon to brainwash him and didn't give Jeremy another thought until recently.
PP had such a long drawn-out goodbye with Ric, I thought they wouldn't even have a scene with Damon and Ric. It was no surprise, PP tried to make this all about herself, again. Her wailing about who was going to look after her now left me unmoved. Wasn't the purpose of making her 18 and killing off all her parental figures so she could look after herself and be the adult of the family? Apparently, not, since Jeremy, who is younger than her, is now expected to be the adult of the house.
Klaus unstaked Rebekah then ranted at mommy's body that he would build an army to protect himself from her plan to kill him. Yes, an army to hide behind. This is one of those cases when PP should have passed on what she knew. Like Dick the Super Duper Vampire Slayer doesn't have to get through an army to get to you. He just has to stab one of your siblings and your dead meat, dude.
Okay, this whole thing of Klaus lugging around his mommy who he killed has always freaked me out. Does he intend to take Mommy's body with him when he leaves town? I mean, why doesn't he destroy her body. She's not an Original, so burn her up. Or bury her. If he'd done that, Mommy couldn't have come back from the dead and wreaked havoc on him. And that in a nutshell is why I don't like Klaus. He's just too dumb to be a good villain.
Anyway, while Esther appears to be dead, she can still pop into Bonnie's head and tell her she must finish what Esther started. IE: make sure Dick completes his transition into being an evil vampire. Damon sits with Ric until he passes out and he leaves to be greeted by Witchiepoo who puts the zap on him. Then she goes and feeds her blood to Dick and he thanks her by biting her in the neck.
There was one big clinker in this episode. Esther claimed she made Mikael as super duper vampire slayer. How is that possible, when it was her death that made Mikael hunt down Klaus? She was already dead and Mikael was already a vampire, so how could she make him a super duper vampire hunter?
Anyway, two more episodes left. We get another episode of PP in danger. Klaus wants to kidnap PP but it looks like Dick beat him to the punch from the Canadian promo, where Dick has her by the throat telling her she doesn't deserve to live. I think I'm going to like Dick.
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