The Vampire Diaries -- What If You Aren't SE Or DE?

It seems like the assumption from everyone in the media is that you're either a fan of Stefan and Elena or Damon and Elena if you watch The Vampire Diaries. I happen to be a fan of neither relationship. I'm a fan of Damon being freed from Elena forever. I could care less who the great prize Elena decides to choose because I find the great prize no great prize. The character is dull, bland and boring. And I don't care enough about the Stefan character to care if he gets stuck with Elena or not. If it gets Damon free from this wretch for good, then let Stefan have her by all means.

The Damon and Elena part of this badly conceived and even worstly [Yeah, I know not a word, but then this isn't really a triangle, so the word fits] written triangle can be summed up to strangers coming up to Damon and telling him he loves Elena. We've never seen any moment when Damon supposedly fell in love with the great prize. Up until 2.01 Damon was still in love with Katherine, a woman who looks exactly like the prize and who he's loved for 145 years, yet you never hear anyone telling Damon he loves her. No, it's always you love Elena to sell this inane and stupidly written poor excuse for a real love triangle. And after 2.01 there was no moment when Damon supposedly fell in love with her; the show just presented as a fait accompli. Like Mount Rushmore, it's just there.

What's also there is an insurmountable amount of ugly that should make this pairing not viable in any way, shape or form. Damon has killed Elena's father, mother and brother. He turned her mother into a vampire. And he's had sexual relationships with a woman that kidnapped the great prize and one that tried to kill her. Oh, and Damon's also tried to murder her a couple of times. Yeah, baby, that's what love is all about.

On Elena's part the show tries to tell us Elena is Damon's home and she makes him happy, but on the show that's anything but the truth. She makes him miserable because she can't accept him as he is. She heightens his inferiority complex as he tries to warp himself into what she wants him to be. So he pretends to be who she wants him to be and when he gets tired of pretending and the real Damon comes out she admonishes him and threatens to have nothing more to do with him unless he behaves the way she wants him to behave. Yeah, that's the kind of relationship we'd all want to have, isn't it?

Recently, after making Damon guilty for not keeping her safe, she didn't want Damon protecting her from her own stupid folly and got Stefan to break his neck. Then she finished up the job by stomping all over his heart and telling him his love was his problem. Followed up by her showing how little his feelings matter to her by telling him to get over it if he was mad at her. Which should have been the end of this mess, only from the episode coming up this week, we get to bathe in some more of the DE dreck.

I really think the show would let this nightmare have ifs final burial if the DE fans would let it go, but they won't. That they find this relationship romantic in any capacity is rather frightening and scary. Anything ugly that comes across their dashboard that signals to them this pairing should never be seems to be ignored by them as they keep on their DE path like a bunch of Energizer Bunny's chanting, "DE, DE, DE." It seems no matter what ugly thing that happens in this DE relationship it'll never be ugly enough to stop this fan group from wanting the characters together and claiming it's some great love relationship.

Damon and Elena aren't an example of opposites attracting. They're two different species that have no business being anywhere near each other. One or both characters would have to be hacked to bits to make this forced pairing work and if you have to hack a character to pieces to make a pairing work, that's a sign the pairing should have never been contemplated to begin with.

Then we have the Stefan and Elena side of the coin. The showrunners can call it an epic romance all they want, but the truth is it's a relationship between a stalker and his victim. Stefan relentlessly stalked a teenager who had just lost both her parents in a car accident only she survived, which must has produced a great amount of survivor guilt in her. He stalked her because she resembled his ex-girlfriend. He made sure he was in all her classes, he showed up at any social events she was at, and he even joined the football team because he thought she was going to be a cheerleader cheering for the football team. And when he finally got her into bed, he neglected to tell her she was a ringer for his ex-girlfriend. When she found out she got in a car accident. The only thing this relationship is epic in is it's ugliness.

Elena forgave Stefan for all in one episode when he told her he saved her from the car accident her parents perished in and he only stalked her because she was nothing like his ex-girlfriend. In this relationship, Elena is the enabling abused spouse who always makes excuses for why her beloved is abusing her. Like when Stefan recently shoved his blood down her throat and took her on a terrifying ride down the same road she and her parents drove the night of the accident that killed them. He even made her believe he was going to drive her off the same bridge her parents drove off of. In the aftermath you'd think she'd want nothing to do with Stefan, because what he just did was unforgivable. Not Elena. All Stefan had to say was he lost her when he left town, and out came all the excuses for what he just did. Elena wasn't even upset Stefan took off and left her stranded on the spot her parents died to relive the memories of the night her parents died.

The strange irony is that you'd think since Elena is such an enabler when it comes to Stefan he'd be the big boss in their relationship, but he's totally emasculated by her. Whenever he doesn't agree with something she wants to do, he keeps his mouth shut and does what she wants to do, even if he thinks it's a bad idea. It seems the reason he's such a yes-man to her is he doesn't want to make her mad by disagreeing with her.

The show sells this as respecting her choices. So if you saw someone standing in front of a speeding car, you'd just let them be mowed down, because you were respecting their choice? That's exactly what Stefan did when Elena decided to martyr herself and go along with being Klaus' sacrifice. Klaus showed up to take her to her death and what does Stefan do? Nothing. Elena tells him to close his eyes and he obeys her and when he opens them again, she's vanished with Klaus.

What made this whole he was just respecting her choice nonsense worse was when Damon got bitten by a werewolf and he had less chance of surviving than Elena had, Stefan went to hell and back to save his life. Damon decided to die, but Stefan wouldn't let him. There was none of this respecting Damon's choice to die BS that they tried to sell with Elena. Stefan did what you do when you love someone and they're in danger of dying. He did whatever he had to save him. But if he loves Elena so much, then why didn't he do the same for her? Why did he just let her walk off to die without even uttering one protest?

So even though the show has actually tried to write some sort of love story for Stefan and Elena, there's also a lack of believability factor that Stefan really loves her just like it is with Damon. If you truly love someone and their life is in danger you don't just let them walk off to their death without doing everything you can think of to save their life.

Among all the ugly moments, some cheesy romantic moments have been also thrown in. Kissing at the top of the ferris wheel and taking a hike in the woods a la Bella and Edward. But that can't make up for dealing with the problems in their relationship in any kind of realistic manner. Having Elena free pass every bad thing Stefan does to her or having Stefan agree with everything she wants to do is not how you build a strong relationship. It's how you build a dysfunctional one.

Like Elena, the SE fans free pass any bad thing Stefan does as they do their own version of the Energizer Bunny dance, chanting, "Epic, epic, epic!"

I've been told I should remember the writing is geared to teenagers. The Stefan free pass version for the writers. But you know what? Even as a teenager I knew the difference between something that was romantic and something that was ugly. If you're writing for impressionable minds, shouldn't the writers have a responsibility not to pass off something ugly as romantic?

I also have to believe I'm not the only one out there who isn't a SE or a DE fan. The media is constantly doing polls with two choices: SE or DE; like those are the only two choices a viewer has. I think there are a lot of us out there who are in the third unmentioned choice: None of the above. I only care who Elena chooses in that I don't want it to be Damon. His character will be totally ruined if he gets stuck with her. But other than that I could care less who she ends up with. She's just not that interesting enough of a character for me to care about her one way or another.


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