Things I Can No Longer Get Away With


Now in my mid thirties, I feel I'm at a strange place in life. I'm not really old, but I'm not really young either. I don't feel old and hopefully I don't act old. My goal is to be like this guy. Although I don't consider myself mature for my age, sometimes I think of things I did in my twenties and cringe. I started thinking of things I am "too old" to get away with now. Some of them I still do, some of them I've never done, and some I hope I never try.

Here's my list of things I'm too old to get away with:

Pouting- As a middle child, I used to be great at this. Pouting is a little harder to get away with nowdays. Every once in a while, I will break this out after a fight with my wife, it doesn't help my cause.

Sagging - This fad was hard to kick. Yep, I was guilty of this one for way too long. I'm not sure if it's ever acceptable. Seeing a teenager with sagging pants is bad enough, but have you ever seen a teenager's parent sagging? Sad.

Going out on a weeknight- In my twenties I would head up to the bar on a Wednesday night and have a good time on hump day. This is no longer a weekly thing. Somebody better have a really good excuse to get me out past 8pm on a weeknight.

White Sunglasses - I've never been big on these. I will say they look better on girls. I'm sorry to offend anyone but if you're over 25 and male, these are not for you.

Buying Video Games- The last video game I bought was EA Sports NCAA Football '06. I was probably too old to buy video games then. I play video games from time to time, but I'm paying a 14 year old to go in and buy it for me.

Hip Hop- I'm torn on this one. I will always love the classics. I just don't see myself buying the newest 'Lil Wayne album at my age. I don't get the newer stuff anyway. I guess we could add bassing to the list. You know, when someone has speakers in there car loud enough to shatter glass.

Wearing a football Jersey- I may be in the minority on this one, I'm just not going to spend a few hundred dollars to wear someone else's football jersey. Like I said, maybe it's just me, but if I'm spending that much money it's not going to be on clothes with numbers on them.

Texting - I've been getting better at this one but sometimes it's a lot easier to send a simple message than go through the small talk of a phone call. Even if my wife does call me a 13 year old girl. LOL ;)

Going to the Mall - Okay, maybe just the food court, but I feel like i've been frozen in time whenever I go to the mall. I usually just stare in awe at the hairstyles and trends that I don't understand. There are stores with loud, weird music blaring out of them. Pictures that are too abstract to comprehend. Somehow offensive yet politically correct at the same time. I just don't belong there.

Watching American Idol - I proudly do not watch AI. I know millions tune in, but whenever this is on with all the screaming fans, I cringe. What if these people actually cared about something that mattered? Or maybe I'm just mad I'm too old to be on the show..

Having my Dad help around the house- My Dad was in town and helped me install a new ceiling fan in my kitchen. Everyone knows I only let him help for the bonding experience. Right..you never outgrow your dad. Thanks Dad.

I feel like this has been my Walt Kowalski moment. Writing my list has made me feel older than ever, but I'm still guilty of some of these so I guess I'm not to far gone just yet. Until then, I will keep my lawn manicured, my werthers handy and my blue socks pulled high. In the meantime, please stay off my lawn.









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Comments 8 comments

jenubouka 5 years ago

I feel the same way in the female sense. my shorts are a respectable 3 inches above the knee, I clip coupons and file them away, I should know better than to watch Big Brother, and cringe at myself when I actually root for some one on the show. The worst, the very worst is no longer being a WHA-HOOO! girl anymore.

This is okay, I still can live through my two year son.


akune profile image

akune 5 years ago from Surrey, England, United Kingdom

You are funny Weestro.

I am just pleased that this edging out by aging on will happen to my teenagers!


weestro profile image

weestro 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks for the comments guys, jenu, as long as you're not clipping coupons for depends!! Akune -good luck with the teens, I can't imagine!!


jenubouka 5 years ago

Hey! I am a busy girl, and hate laundry.


jimagain profile image

jimagain 5 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

Great stuff! enjoyed this hub but now am more painfully aware that I am old. Here are a couple of my favorites;

1. (texting) Even if my wife does call me a 13 year old girl. LOL ;)

2. (AI) What if these people actually cared about something that mattered?


akune profile image

akune 5 years ago from Surrey, England, United Kingdom

I love your article. It is empathetic. Tick tock goes the uncaring clock.


weestro profile image

weestro 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Do what ya gotta do jenu! Thanks for reading Jim, somedays I feel old, some I don't. Thanks for readin akune, my clock IS ticking...


INFJay profile image

INFJay 5 years ago from Santa Rosa, California

This would be a great hub for you to update every 10 years!

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