Things Not to Do at a Movie Theater

I have written hubs

about Things Not to Do at a Picnic and Rules For Out-of-Towners When Visiting The Big City, so I thought it was time to tackle the area of troublemakers who live to run off the civil-minded customers of movie theaters by their childish antics.

This is written from a personal standpoint because I have experienced misery while trying to watch a good film in a movie theater while trying to block-out and ignore these juvenile-acting people who really do not care what they do or who they do it to.

Blocking the view of other theater patrons

Is never acceptable.
Is never acceptable. | Source

Time was in our country

that going to a walk-in movie theater was the biggest thrill of a teenager or grown-up's life. The atmosphere was light, people respected each other, and life was good.

Then somewhere, somehow, a gang of troublemakers with nothing to do but cause trouble to innocent people made movie theaters their base of operations and did pretty much what they wanted.

This is happening today. And the theater owner and manager's hands are tied. Unless the owner or manager actually "sees" these immature individuals in action hurting or annoying an innocent customer, they cannot call the police.

So goes the endless cycle of abuse by non-caring thugs to normal people young and old who just want to see a movie.

Some theaters years ago were forced to close down due to these troublemakers showing-up each night a movie was shown and harassing as many customers as they could.

This is the purpose of my hub. To teach potential movie theater patrons how to act once inside this American icon.


Now for my List of Things Not to do at Movie Theaters

  • Bringing alcoholic or even soda's inside the theater that you didn't buy at their snack bar is against their policies.
  • Smoking cigarettes or "weed" during the showing of a movie. This will get you arrested, thrown out of the theater or both.
  • Tripping other movie-goers by standing off of the dark walkway with your foot out. This can cause thousands of dollars in medical bills to the abused patron and a possible lawsuit to the theater owner.
  • Making animal noises during the movie to get laughs.
  • Passing gas when you get up to buy more snacks.
  • Putting your feet up on the seat back in front of you.
  • Throwing plastic snakes up in the air and hear girls scream when it comes down on them.
  • Throwing things at the screen because you hate a certain actor in the film.
  • Turning a miniature flashlight on and off in someone's face.
  • You are sitting toward the top in the movie theater. You spy a friend in the bottom row, so you begin to call out their name, well, you bellow their name and terrify the other customers.

Changing times ---see the sweaters and ties on the boys? Look at the hairstyles and wardrobe on the girls. I ran this to let you take a look at how peaceful it used to be in movie theaters.
Changing times ---see the sweaters and ties on the boys? Look at the hairstyles and wardrobe on the girls. I ran this to let you take a look at how peaceful it used to be in movie theaters. | Source

I ran this photo above just for you

just so you could see and appreciate how peaceful it was most of the time many years ago inside a movie theater.

You do not see nasty clothing on these young people. Nor do you see them puffing cigarettes or illegal controlled substances such as marijuana. Oh, there were bits of juicy gossip about some girl in school, but that was it.

Bob Dylan, I hate your song . . . "The Times They Are-a Changin'"

Things you should do at a movie theatre

when you do these things, you will feel more like a citizen who is contributing more than hurting your neighborhood and more-importantly, the movie theatre.

  1. Always exercise common-courtesy. Let girls and older people go ahead of you at the snack bar and down the walk way to be seated.
  2. Assist elderly people down the walk way and show them to their seats. The management will appreciate a person like you.
  3. When you see people horse-laughing, throwing things at customers and any of the things "not to do" in movie theatre, politely tell them to stop this useless action or you will report them to the manager.
  4. Never be a "seat hog." be willing to sit your drink or food in the floor giving your neighbor room to sit his jumbo tub of popcorn, giant soda and colossal bag of roasted peanuts. You might offer to crack his peanuts for him while he enjoys the movie.
  5. If a guy and girl are sitting next to you and engaging in sexual intercourse, caution them about safe sex and if they do not cease, you will be forced to report them to management.
  6. If a toddler is acting-out and disturbing you and the other customers, talk to the parents briefly about proper raising of children and ask them to control their child.
  7. Make sure people around you do not talk during the movie. A simple Shhhh in their direction will sometimes take care of the problem, but be careful. You might have to endure some vulgar murmurs, ugly finger gestures and threats to your life.

When everyone obeys the rules in a movie theatre, a good time will be had by all.


Openly-flirting with other girls is totally-unacceptable in a movie theater.
Openly-flirting with other girls is totally-unacceptable in a movie theater. | Source
Stealing snacks from a weaker person in front of you.
Stealing snacks from a weaker person in front of you. | Source
Blockng the walkway with your huge amount of food to eat during the movie.
Blockng the walkway with your huge amount of food to eat during the movie. | Source
Excessive laughter can kill a good time for others in a movie theater.
Excessive laughter can kill a good time for others in a movie theater. | Source

Even more things not to do inside a movie theater

  1. Start fights with boys with the pretty girls. You can get busted for this one. And do you really need a criminal record with you going into the seminary next week?
  2. Argue so loudly that the usher has to quiten you down by threatening to toss you if you do not tone it down.
  3. Telling nasty jokes for troublemakers around you and her them laugh like a herd of wild horses.
  4. Putting ice down the back of some pretty girl's dress sitting in front of you.
  5. Taking your iPod inside the theater and playing your playlist openly for people to hear.
  6. Intentionally coughing over and over to cause other people to not hear the dialogue in the movie.
  7. Taking your shoes off exposing feet that smell worse than road-kill.
  8. Do not bring your miniature television inside the movie theater so you can keep up with the football scores because you are a gambling addict.
  9. Do not show-up intoxicated at the movie theatre and think you will get a seat, for you will not. The management is trained to spot people who drink alcohol, so leave the booze off, buddy.

Remember . . .

A movie theatre is not your personal playground. The movie theatre is a business that has many people in its employ, so if you do things at the movie theatre that you know are against the law, you might be putting people out of work when the owner of the theatre has to shut down thanks to you and your gang of troublemakers.

Be different . . .

Exercise respect and personal-discipline when frequenting the movie theatre. Just think of the movie theater as you would a grocery store and you will see things differently. America needs people like you to start a trend of respect toward people, things, and movie theatres.

Thank you.

Do you believe that movie theatres need rules?

See results without voting

A final set of rules

for those who are talking about letting their pre-teen's go to the movies with their friends from the church camp they attended last week.

  • Taking photos with a flash device is a no, no. And could get you cursed-out.
  • Bring small pets inside the theater under your coat is against theater policies.
  • Standing up and reciting poetry to your girlfriend thinking this is the most-romantic gesture she has ever seen is not acceptable.
  • Tossing water balloons into the crowd and then ducking-down to avoid getting caught.

And please, do not . . .

  1. Nibble the earlobe of the hot girl in the seat in front of you
  2. Start up a conversation with her although she is with her boyfriend. This could lead to a nasty scene.
  3. Shuffle your feet continually to create a disturbance.
  4. Hit on every girl around you.
  5. Challenge guys to arm-wrestling matches.


I do hope that this hub will prove beneficial to you and your friends who love to watch movies at a movie theatre.

I think that good citizenship starts with one person; YOU.

More by this Author


Comments 16 comments

Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD

This is why I don't like going to the movies that much... not because other people don't follow rules. It is because I desperately want to break the rules and it annoys anyone with me. I totally sneak in drinks and food... that is why I carry a big purse. I can't help it. They just don't offer all the delicious options I need... like Starburst jelly beans and doughnuts. One of my friends snuck in a giant burrito once. I am surprised we did not get busted that time.

I also like to have conversations while watching movies. That is why I prefer to watch them at home. I also feel the need to yell at actors in horror movies, "Don't go in there! Don't drop the knife yet!" and that type of thing. I realize all of this makes me seem incredibly obnoxious, and hey, that is probably true. But yeah, I do try to obey the rules... I just don't like obeying them.


grand old lady profile image

grand old lady 2 years ago from Philippines

Seriously, you could earn so much more money supplying stand up comedians with your material. Every time I see your byline I know I'm gonna laugh. Hub Pages should have a special category for comedy writings and an appropriate award, as well.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 2 years ago from Minnesota

I always enjoy your tongue and cheek articles. I had to wonder how you came up with so many things not to do? My guess is you have done them all. LOL-On a serious note though, you are right about people having common sense and courtesy of others when out to a movie. Sharing this all over Kenneth. Hope you had a great Easter :-)


mgt28 profile image

mgt28 2 years ago

I am just coming from watch Brick Mansions and I can add, 'Do not greet people you do not know , it is not necessary.'


sheilamyers 2 years ago

I have a few rules I use. If someone is making rude noises, throwing stuff at people, or most of the other things on the list, make sure you have good aim with the slingshot so you don't waste all of your M&M ammo or hit the wrong person.


Stevennix2001 profile image

Stevennix2001 2 years ago

Very sound advice


PCBA Tools 2 years ago

I don't like when some mystery-man farts in the theater and people start wondering about the culprit.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Jeanneinabottle,

I am on the borderline on obeying the theater rules. I do NOT use a cell phone during movie or throw objects at customers, but for the life of me I cannot help but say funny things underneath my breath that sometimes is funnier than the actors' dialogue on the film.

But I hate being tossed out after paying almost $14 for one ticket to see a film that should have shown on TV.

Thanks so much for your comment.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Grandoldlady (and you are not old)

I never thought of selling my information to comics, but if I did, there would be lawyers to deal with, papers to sign, and the payment to me would not be worth it.

But I did find out from Legal Zoom how to copyright my hubs.

Thanks for the comment.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Minnentonka Twin,

Well, I did some of them, but the best prank I was ever involved with was three of my buddies and I sneaked into our local drive-in back in 1972--when we had a drivce-in. It was big fun laying on our backs in the tall grass underneath the huge screen watching a James Bold film until a concession worker came out to smoke . . .then we all panicked and one after the other ran like wild deer back inside the trees where we entered the movie grounds.

People who were in their cars applauded like we were rock stars.

And that, my friend, was my 22 minutes of fame.

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it.

K.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, mgt28,

I will keep that in mind next movie I attend. DO NOT speak to strangers. It is unnecessary.

I see why too. Some strangers are psychotic and could yell at me or beat me up.

You might have just saved my life.

Thanks, for that, and commenting.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Sheila,

and great advice. I hate rudeness especially in theatres. But saving my M&M's is very wise. I could substitute unpopped kernels of popcorn that sting much worse. Deal?

Other than this annoyance, I can be as good as anyone else.

Visit with me anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Steven,

Thank you, friend, for that comment. I appreciate you taking time to read and commnet on this hub.

I think we all can join together to make theaters more peaceful for the American public.

Thanks again.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

PCBA Tools,

Yeah, me also. And they all start coughing, and shrieking, "ewwwwww, that stinky will get into my shiek sundress!" That is the "it" girl sitting behind me.

While the mystery gas-passer is safely leaving said theater and on his way home.

Thanks so much for the comment.


sheilamyers 2 years ago

Kenneth: I should've thought about using the unpopped kernels. I remember that for the next time I go to the movies.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Sheila, LOL. I forgot those too. DO NOT use this, but unpopped kernels can be used to toss at friends in the dark or at the screen if the film is not worth watching.

But you didn't read that here.

Thanks for your comment.

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