Things That Will Happen When Hell Freezes Over, i.e., Things That Will Never Happen
Warning, humor may be present.
Yes, friends. This page is dedicated to listing all things that will happen when hell freezes over. Got a good one? Add it below! You can include religion, politics, and anything else that comes to mind. Have fun. Be advised that all opinions expressed herein are those of the contributors. An open forum. Contradictory opinions are expressed. Don't shoot the messenger.
Things That Will Happen When Hell Freezes Over
- The national debt will be paid off.
- Politicians become honest.
- The GOP will run a gay candidate.
- President Obama will toss his teleprompter and deliver a speech without "Let me be clear..."
- People will make educated decisions when voting.
- America will mind its own business.
- CEO's become honest.
- The medical industry becomes honest.
- The banking industry becomes honest.
- The credit card companies become honest.
- The insurance industry becomes honest.
- The auto repair industry becomes honest.
- Adobe software stops paper saturation draining of printer cartridges.
- American corporations become loyal to America.
Things That Will Never Happen
- Telephone solicitors go away.
- Spammers go away.
- Junk mail goes away.
- You will never again hear on TV, "But wait! There's more!"
- You will never again hear on TV, "But wait! If you order now...!"
- Daytime TV shows will get some class.
- The preachers on TV will start sending cash to me.
- When the Duggars undergo sterilization.
- When celebrity children stop writing negative tell all books about their parents.
- Jehovah Witnesses go away.
- Dogs will stop licking their private parts.
- Cats will actually give a F about what their owners want.
- When women priests are ordained by the Roman Catholic church.
- When an atheist becomes president of the United States.
- When Donald Trump acts like a human being instead of a pompous and egotistical #$%#@.
- Lindsay Lohan stops getting arrested.
- When Madonna acts like a lady.
- Pop Stars will play their own instruments.
- TV stars will stop using Botox.
- Someone will live a full life without ever once having something stolen from them.
- Someone will live a full life without ever once being falsely accused of something.
More Things That Will Happen When Hell Freezes Over
- Dry cleaners apologize and reimburse you when they ruin your clothes.
- Supermarkets put the best deals on the center shelves.
- Pay day loan services stop robbing people blind.
- Cable companies stop robbing people blind.
- Government agencies answer their phones.
- Offices really do go paperless.
- When there is a true meritocracy in the corporate world.
- The Supreme Court, Congress, and the President become aware of the 10th amendment.
- Cities, counties, and states become aware of the 4th, 5th, 8th, and 9th amendments.
- You have civil rights even when you don't have money.
More Things That Will Never Happen
- Flies and chihuahuas stop being obnoxious.
- Geraldo Rivera gets some class.
- Lawyers incorporate ethics into their strategies.
- Cockroaches, fleas, bedbugs, mosquitoes, and supermarket front door panhandlers stop wanting to be your friend.
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad stops being an...
- Hugo Chavez stops being an...
- The TSA stops being an...
- The news media becomes unbiased.
- Climate change will be exposed as the second Y2K bug.
- Starbucks stops serving coffee.
- When the food supplies of the planet are distributed evenly.
- Batman opens his own, private security firm.
- Printer ink cartridges will no longer have a 300% mark up.
- When people's status and worth are not determined by how much money they make.
- Life becomes fair.
- Fear and worry stop being a major factor in life.
When hell freezes over could happen sooner than we think. Or not. Then again..., Top 10 Ways the World Will End.
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