To Kill An Atomic Subwoofer; Or, How I Blew Up My Noisy Neighbor's Car Stereo

“The day will come when man will have to fight noise as inexorably as cholera and the plague.”

— Robert Koch, 19th Century German bacteriologist and Nobel Prize winner

How much can one take? How much pounding, booming noise, over a period of months, or even years, can one take from the dregs of modern society?

My redneck neighbours across the street do not mind at all that their booming car stereo has been blasting its obnoxious, dreadful-sounding tripe all over the neighborhood every Saturday and Sunday afternoon for the past year. It’s absurd enough that the vehicle from which my redneck neighbour Carl blasts rap and country music is a 1980 Toyota: an orange, beat-up truck that should have given up the ghost and gone to a junkyard back in 1985. Just to see that old truck pull up to his front door with DJ MuffinPuff or Ma and Pa Roach Stompin’ Two Steppers rattling my eardrums and shaking my windows, thump, thump, thump, was enough to make me want to set his truck on fire. I decided I had to do something.

Calling the police was not an option. A stereo being too loud in the middle of the day wasn’t going to be a priority for our city’s finest—even despite the new city ordinance prohibiting a car stereo being audible further than 25 feet away rom the car itself. City cops would not enforce it. City cops wouldn’t care that someone was disturbing the peace with a booming car stereo week after week, month after month, unless of course, that stereo was right next door to the cop’s house. In short, my city had demonstrated that it would do little or nothing to stop this horrible menace that has become a plague on American society.

I was determined to do something, and do something creative, subversive, and electronically devious before I went out of my mind. I was going to remotely destroy his radio.

There would be a risk I would get caught, but I was at my wit’s end. So, I decided it was time to set up shop or as they say, crap or get off the pot.

I had a little electronics experience building FM transmitters and a couple of amplifiers for the transmitters, as well as repairing a few other electronic devices. I was no stranger to a soldering gun. That’s right, even women can use those things! The problem was I had no specific idea what I could do to stop this redneck from ruining my weekends at home.

I knew I had a lot of research to do before I could come up with the proper tool to end this assault on my eardrums. I found some likely options on the internet.

I was tempted by the possibility of completely obliterating the car stereo using a Directional Microwave EMP Rifle 50-Kilowatt X-band Military Microwave Magnetron. I’d found this machine online and was instantly intrigued. This device can be reduced to the size of the Super Soaker™ squirt gun. A machine of this power could create radio-frequency noise, ionize gases, cause semiconductors to burn out and microprocessors to malfunction, and erase computer data on hard drives. Reconsidering, though, I regretfully concluded that a machine this powerful would probably be illegal and dangerous, and possibly kill all the small animals in the area. So I decided to nix the EMP. Besides, how could I afford one of those?

I came up with another idea that had nothing to do with destroying his car stereo, but everything to do with annoying the complete crap out of him and his entire redneck family. I’d read a couple of years ago about how to make an entire side of a wooden building resonate using a wire. You insert a nail into the wood and attach a wire to the nail. Then you diligently rub the wire back and forth between your fingers and it starts vibrating so intensely that the entire side of the building resonates, like a giant violin, creating an unbearable noise inside. I envisioned them all running outside holding their eardrums in pain, like I do when I start to hear Master Jeezy Louizeey playing in his truck.

Then I realised that wouldn’t work either, because their house is made out of cinder blocks. I needed an even better idea.

I consulted a friend who will not be named, a tinkerer involved in laser research and electromagnetic studies. He suggested we build a remote-controlled taser-type device that would send a burst of electromagnetic energy to Redneck Carl's stereo that would short it out, and with luck do damage to other electronic parts in his truck, like his ignition coil or air-fuel ratio sensors. Or maybe it would even blast his battery and send his car hood flying up in the air. It would have been hilarious to see his driver’s seat explode through the roof. Then again, realistically, you generally only see that in a Roadrunner cartoon. Besides that, no ACME Company was available anywhere nearby offering all of the handy-dandy parts pre-assembled for me to use.

The basic theory was the same as a remote control, which uses pulses of infrared light to transmit a signal. The good thing about infrared light is that it is invisible to the human eye (including the eyeballs of my redneck neighbours). My electromagnetic signal woud be invisible if I could find out how to construct my own remote transmitter.

But I was far from being a Nikola Tesla or a Michael Faraday, or even a highly competent neighbourhood electronic tinkerer. I just wanted that joker across the street to silence his stereo.

Nikola Tesla, 1856-1943, American inventor of radio,controlled boats, the infamous Tesla coil, and tons of other neat little gadgets.
Nikola Tesla, 1856-1943, American inventor of radio,controlled boats, the infamous Tesla coil, and tons of other neat little gadgets.

I got to work. The internet helped tremendously with ideas and supported my research plans quite well. I dug through cardboard boxes in my closet and found some old capacitors, a few IC chips, resistors, solder, and my old FM radio transmitters with their transistors. I knew the transmitters could send out a signal of a “whopping” (I say this with sarcasm) 100 milliwatts, but I was looking for some real power. I wanted the transmitter to send a signal to the stereo that was powerful enough to fry its contents and silence DJ MuffinPuff and Ma and Pa Roach Stompin' Two Steppers for awhile. I also knew I had to get within about 100 feet of that old orange Toyota rust bucket to do my evil duty.

My friend estimated that with two transmitters and the amplifier running at the same time, with the resistor values chosen to get the maximum output, I could zap the stereo easily, or blow up both transmitters and the amplifier, or shock myself, or all three.

I arranged a visit to a friend of a friend, who had obtained some military surplus electronic parts that need not be named in this article. Another cohort was kind enough to lend me an old remote control from his very expensive remote-controlled toy car. I would use this to turn the transmitters on and off. The transmitters and amplifier would have to be keyed on and off quickly to keep them from burning up due to the intense, short bursts of electromagnetic power they were going to send to that orange rust bucket.

For the next three weeks, we spent the nights soldering and de-soldering, burning my fingers, and making little lights blink and IC chips get hot while we assembled my little project. I tested and retested, blew capacitors and resistors, and said more curse words than a trucker on a CB radio.

I had to build an antenna and tune it to the exact frequency I was going to use to obliterate the redneck’s stereo. The frequency had to be high enough in the spectrum to deliver the type of damage we were looking for. The antenna had to be extremely directional, and small enough to not be too obvious. I knew I had to be extra careful because I could easily burn myself or cause myself a shock if I did not build the antenna properly. I had to go out looking for more parts and another special piece of equipment. I concealed the innards of the finished antenna inside a PVC pipe casing, painted dark green to camouflage it from prying eyes.

Five weeks after I began the project, after a few tries and some tweaking, I felt I was ready to try out my new “invention.” The devices were contained inside black cases, inconspicuous at night, about the size of a CD case, but one inch thick.

One evening, at about 11 p.m., after my dear partner in crime had had to go home, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer to do a test. I went out in my backyard to try to zap some old electronic devices I had lying around the house.

My first victim was an old Nokia cell phone. I powered it up and placed it on the deck; its little green screen illuminated the wall. Then, I assembled my projects into a triangle and set up the PVC pipe antenna to aim directly at the cell phone, about 25 feet away.

I held the remote control in my right hand, shaking, hoping I wasn’t going to electrocute myself to oblivion. Being the pessimist that I am, I couldn’t imagine that I was going to affect this cell phone in any way. I sucked in my breath, aimed the antenna at the glowing Nokia, tapped the remote control to key up the transmitters, and saw a flicker of bright white light from the Nokia screen! It was just a flash, and I thought that it might have been a coincidence. Once again, I hit the remote, holding it down for two seconds, and the screen fickered and the phone's speaker emitted a crackle.

Then I said that was it, I was just going to zap this bastard into oblivion! I thumbed the remote button, the Nokia buzzed and crackled, and I heard a loud pop and smelled some electrical burning. The Nokia lay smoking on the deck. I’d killed it. I just stood there in disbelief. I picked up the phone and it was searing hot. So I stood there and started laughing.

My next victim was an old Hypercom T7P 257K credit card terminal that no longer felt like working, so I put it up on the deck. It too had a green screen. I walked 50 paces backwards and thumbed the remote, taking aim after a slight adjustment of the antenna. Nothing happened. Again, I shot at the terminal, moving the antenna and one of the transmitters a few inches. The terminal emitted a crackle and a weird smell. Walking over to look at it, I could see the screen had cracked, the liquid crystal inside had spilled its guts, and two of the buttons had actually melted into the body of the terminal!

We were on to something really good, me and my nerd friend. I shot off an email to him explaining what had happened. He was very eager to see the results of my tests. He’d spent most of his time working on electronics in a shipyard for the past 15 years, and was never allowed to even think, at work, about building any device like this.

We agreed to meet early Saturday morning, at about 2 a.m., to get set up to drag our equipment across the road. That would be the night. No longer was I going to be disturbed by “Oh me so horny” music coupled with the blasting of Toby Keith or Travis Tritt. It was time for that car stereo to die a deserving death.

Across the street, shielding part of my view of the redneck family’s house, was a stand of young trees with thin trunks, nestled next to the corner of a chain link fence. It made a perfect hiding place. We'd just have to move the equipment across the street and pile it near the trees. I’d found a great spot to erect the antenna, pointing directly at the truck which was parked a little too close to their little cinderblock house. Most of the equipment was already across the street, lying in the grass, waiting for my friend to arrive.

At 1:45 a.m. he showed up, passed by my house, turned around, and parked up the road a block. I’d suggested he not park in my driveway because I’m paranoid like that. I just looked at him walking up to my house and giggled like a little girl. Silencing that subwoofer and stereo was going to happen. There would be no backing down. That stereo was going to burn.

It was time to get busy. With the destruction, that is. We walked across the street and squatted down behind the trees in the corner, leaning against the chain link fence. I had a tiny light, but it was still hard to see. I had to feel my way around and he helped me get everything set in the exact position we needed. My comrade bravely stood up and checked the antenna and its position and then we positioned ourselves as comfortably as we could down in the weeds and dried leaves and broken branches. He asked if I was ready, and I was, so with a bit of hesitation he handed me the remote. I think in all essence he wanted to blast the stereo himself.

I crawled through the treetrunks, scratching the side of my face on a branch which stung, but I was so excited by this time I didn’t care. On my hands and knees, I raised the remote and aimed it at the transmitters, a little scared of the antenna above my head, and pressed the button. We heard a "ping" sound, like a rock hitting a piece of metal, from the area near the truck. We looked at each other, puzzled. I tried again, and heard another weird noise, like a grating sound, but not loud, which was good because I didn’t want to wake up the rednecks; it seemed to come from beneath the truck. We both crouched there for a couple of minutes as mosquitoes bit us, unsure what we should do.

By this time, I just got pissed and thumbed it again, holding it down, taking out my frustration on the remote. I saw a small blue flash inside the truck and heard a pop like a light bulb going out. We looked at each other again, and he wondered aloud if we’d actually hit the stereo or did even worse damage to the truck.

No answer was forthcoming. I decided we’d better get back to my apartment before we were seen, or someone in the cinderblock house woke up and went outside to investigate. Neither one of us wanted to face a crazed redneck who might have a shotgun.

Hurriedly we gathered up the equipment, pulled the antenna from the tree, and hustled quietly back across the road.

For the next hour or so, we sat in my darkened living room, discussing the whole experiment, and wondering just what might have happened across the road when we tried to tase the stereo. When the adrenaline faded, my eyes got heavy, and my colleague decided to head home and I watched him walk down the street to his car.

At 11 a.m. the next morning, I awoke from a strange dream, only to recall what we had done the night before. Panic started gripping me. There was a message from my comrade on the phone to call him.

First I had to see if there was any evidence of our dastardly doings. Pushing aside a few blinds on the living room window. I saw Redneck Carl outside with his truck hood up. Then, I saw his wife’s nice green Chevy Lumina, with its hood up too. He kept going back and forth from one vehicle to another. I just stood there in shock and said, “Uh oh.”

The best way to get a closer look was to just go outside and pretend to do yard work. My eyes still sticky with sleep, I stepped outside, grabbed the garden hose, and started to hose off my dusty car. The redneck’s kids came outside and I heard one of them say, “What happened, daddy? Why won’t the cars start?” My eyes got big. I heard him cursing and he yelled at his kid to go back inside. I stepped around to the front of my car, hose in hand, to get a better view. Then I saw him get in the truck and attempt to start it. I heard nothing. He then did the same thing with the Lumina. Once again, nothing. He cursed until his wife came out and he yelled at her to go back inside too.

I went back inside, stifling laughter, and fell back on my couch and let go! I ran and called my friend and told him what was going on outside, and I swear I never heard him laugh so hard in my life!

Later that afternoon, my neighbor was able to get the Lumina started, but the orange truck was still dead. And so was its stereo. Weeks later, a nosy neighbor lady told me that Redneck Carl said he came out one morning to find his stereo wires with burn marks on them and also the faceplate melted on his Toyota truck! I feigned no knowledge of the incident, and told her that was the strangest story I’d ever heard!

To this day, no one in our neighborhood has been subjected to the obnoxious ghetto blasting we had to listen to for over a year. Mr. Redneck Carl has remained silent ever since, although he always keeps his porch light on at night now.

Our good deed was accomplished. Ever since, our neighbourhood has enjoyed only the sweet sounds of mockingbirds and chirping squirrels, no more “Me so horny!” 

By the way, this whole story is complete and utter bunk. Just thought I’d let you know.

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Comments 109 comments

bozo_de_niro@37.com 7 years ago

In response to Trailer Trash let me just say that if anyone reading this unfortunately but understandably succumbs to mayhem or manslaughter in the effort to deal with and defend themselves against the kind of belligerent hostile electronic noise we're talking about here, I will do whatever I can to help mount a legal defense fund on their behalf. bozo_de_niro@37.com


Trailer Trash profile image

Trailer Trash 7 years ago from Pensacola Author

LOL


jess brousen 6 years ago

so did you really blow up an old cell phone or no?!?!


Trailer Trash profile image

Trailer Trash 6 years ago from Pensacola Author

At the bottom of the story, it says, "By the way, this whole story is complete and utter bunk. Just thought I’d let you know."


the keeper of the reaper 6 years ago

I would love to have a devise like the guy mentioned above, I know if they sold something like this I would beyond the shadow of a doubt Buy One. There are alot of people that like to Boom their stereo's and their cars vibrate, you can go to just about any wal-mart parking lot and hear and see this pretty much daily.Someone needs to invent a Gadget for these idiot's who think they have blare their stereo's and have all that Bass in it.


Trailer Trash profile image

Trailer Trash 6 years ago from Pensacola Author

There is a device that can really destroy someone's stereo. It's a handheld taser. Press the button and hold it to the car's antenna. Poof. No more stereo. And maybe no more ignition either. Oh well. :P


JakeAuto profile image

JakeAuto 6 years ago from Calif.

Unfortunate there are people who think along these lines on a massive scale. There are those who would like to fire off a Nuclear electromagnetic bomb over the U.S. wiping out electronics and setting back the infrastructure 50 years...


robert 6 years ago

Even though the story is utter bunk, perhaps you'd like to publish theoretical schematics for building such a device.


Carl (seriously) 6 years ago

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Your writing style is well-polished. I didn't even care that it was bunk, it was good entertainment. Thanks.


Bob 6 years ago

Damn. I was hoping it was real. I need to assemble a device to disable my neighbor's car stereo. Kid just won't listen to reason. I've been held hostage by that crap for years.


nobooms 6 years ago

Sad but true, many of us are Heavy Bass Sufferers and we need something like this to be patented and sold, albeit with some kind of consumer warning, unlike the damned boom car equipment the bass thugs are tormenting us with, join noisefree.org


nobooms 6 years ago

Something that can fry the bastard bass thugs equipment is worth investing in.


dago 6 years ago

i go through the same thing every evening boom boom boom it makes me hate any loud stero i see coming down the street but the tazer sounds good


Indian jokes 5 years ago

Lovely story.


carole 5 years ago

I want to harm you for getting my hopes up.


Zebragirl 5 years ago

I live by a DYSFUNCTIONAL car wash....I would love to have one of these systems. Just think of all the damm crap I could get out of this neighborhood!!!! I hate it more than you'll ever know.....I would have peace and quiet and I could listen to my birds and all the nature living around me!


Jenna 5 years ago

Damn it! If only it were true! I've been suffering from the same thing not just during weekends, but everyday! My jobless neighbor barely turns off his speakers. Can't even relax after a busy day in school... (Btw, I live in a country where there is no "disturbance of peace" law. Found it the hard way by calling the cops on him.) I doubt there's a law about radio thingamajiggers being illegal either as we don't even have laws for cyber crimes!


Cheeze 5 years ago

Hey I know that this is an old post but I have the same problem that's going on in my neighborhood. I was thinking somewhere along the lines of the same thing only blast his ear drums to the point to where he and his friend can't hear anymore or throw a brick at his windshield.

I know with the FM transmitter if you go beyond the FCC regulations you can transmit you voice or a noise that would even over power the audio on your TV. I wonder if it's possible to build one so powerful that it would overwhelm the audio on a car speaker? Now I realize that it's not going to be as smart and sophisticated as your device and a lot of people will be affected by this frequency but will be short and if it works then I'll destroy the device and live on my happy life.


Activist 5 years ago

Research terroristic threat statutes in your area.

They usually include something along these lines:

"an individual communicates any type of threat that causes a person or group to be in fear of bodily harm"

Research harmful health effects of boom boom cars. Plenty on the web.

Research the way these units are sold, which is literally as weaponized sound with the intent to inflict and afflict.

The fact that a perp has the equipment means it is being used. That a perp tells you to fu-- off and he'll do what he wants and boom boom represents a terroristic threat by definition of law.

It is a 15k fine and 5 to 15 year prison sentence where I live. Get the statute by number for your area.

Gather your information resources together.

Go to the head cop in your area.

You are not there to mess around with disturbing the peace or noise ordinance enforcement.

Your cops have been b.s. cops who don't care.

They will be forced to care. About you.

You are upping the ante and taking things places they never imagined.

Make the head cop read. While you are there. Make the presentation relatively short and to the point.

Let him know that you are a squeaky wheel and if the problem in your area is not totally resolved you will literally make a federal case out of it.

By going to the local federal attorney in your area.

Let him know that there will be plenty of publicity and that you will raise the awareness of those who are afflicted.

Finally let him know there will be class action law suits against his department for not protecting them and personal lawsuits against him.

He'll take care of your problem.

There will still be crap on the road and in parking lots, at red lights.

But your immediate problem will be alleviated.

You've got to be and go over the top to get it done.

It's your life. Enjoy some quality once again to it.

Get 'er done.


wazzelboof 5 years ago

Modern technology apparently involves lots of thumping sounds besides everything else. Seems like most people nowadays have to have their booming equipment for their life to be complete or something. So I guess collectively speaking our government and many of us not only don't give a rat's ass about what we put into our mouths and childrens either for that matter anymore, but we have little regard for our eardrums and the rest of our bodies. They will sell ANYONE, ANYTHING no matter what the consequences are. On many levels society is getting worse far from better BTW whether it's taken seriously enough or not.


coreysg profile image

coreysg 5 years ago from Northern California

Great story; I really enjoyed that read. I have to admit I was disappointed it wasn't true...but hopefully someday soon, technology permitting, real examples will start popping up! Or even better, production inventions will become widespread :P


nevets53 profile image

nevets53 5 years ago from alabama, domociled in Georgia

I must admit I was a bit upset when I discovered the story was merely fiction,you see I have a redneck Carl living across from me who enjoys damaging his children's hearing as well as anyone else with redneck sub woofer noise.I am at the edge of sanity night and day after night and day listening to this thump thump deeeeeerump bass crap destroying what had been for some 18 years peace and quite.


5 years ago

this is just what i've been looking for!


Fred  5 years ago

Some ones fantansy is another persons reality without fantansy there would be no future reality


Need Help Silencing 5 years ago

Hi,

Saw your post, very encouraging. MY problem is a bit more than car stereo.

I just moved to India, there are always some festival every 15 days and the local boys put least seven loud-speakers in every lamp-post and blast them - my apt is right opposite. Even my glass of water shakes with the blast...imagine if you stayed up the whole night and have to work from home on impt project and you face this.

Request to turn em down, calling cops, sound-proofing didn't work, firing from my airgun - DIDN'T HELP.

I would appreciate if someone can share any diagram/how-to-make "Directional Microwave EMP Rifle 50 kilowatt X-band military microwave magnetron".

ANYTHING that fries these loud-speakers would help.

I sincerely appreciate you help.


Joe 5 years ago

Bass-seeking missile? haha Now THAT would be a popular little gadget.


Sue 5 years ago

I am listening RIGHT NOW to the wankers across the road with their truck and awful pumping noise. They can not be reasoned with as they have no intelligence. This little story really made me smile and was a nice surprise to come across in my research to find a device to put an end to my neighbour's stereo. Thanks for the cheer-up!


Lee 4 years ago

Don't you just love Alien Technology.


Stuey 4 years ago

ima bassists and plays bass guitars and i got a slick sound systems in my ride that everypeoplesthink is cool i haves a right to play my bass you peoples is rassist with your coments if peoples dont like it than you moves away some placeselse if anypeoples ever recked up my basses id kill them


Dave 4 years ago

Typical comments left by "Stuey" and "bass child." Neither can write, spell nor punctuate. It'so typical of you cretinous (cretinous means you're DUMB) bass thugs. Just menaces to society. Who needs them?! By the way "bass child", the story, written by Trailer Trash, is clearly stated in the LAST paragraph that it's fiction. And in case you don't know what fiction is, fiction is an untrue story, an illustrious product of one's imagination. Go back to school "Stuey" and "bass child", it's time you got your heads out of your retarded subwoofers and learn to be literate if you guy's can. Your stupidity runneth over! Sheeeesh!!!!!!


Die Subwoofer 4 years ago

Or you could have just taken a baseball bat to the motherfucker's speakers.


Subwoofer 4 years ago

I have a boom system in my car and its loud but not insanely loud. I do admit that there are people that are inconsiderate about it becuase it makes it hard for me to sleep at times. But as for me and my friends we turn our stereos down in out neighbor hoods and at stop signs ( unless we forget which im sorry for) and between 730am and 7pm to be considerate. I also do turn my stereo down all the way when i see children. i love my music and i love how the bass feels and sounds. People out there that arent considerate about it are giving us people with boom cars a bad name. Im sorry for all you that have those people around you. I my self go through it at 12am and so on. I just want some people to realize that we arent all the same that have these boom cars.


Bronson 4 years ago

I Love Blasting Increadibly Loud Music With Tonnes Of Bass.....In Le Privacy Of My Own Home :)


Basshead 4 years ago

Just ask a motherfucker to turn it down don't cost him thousands of dollars you asshole! Jesus christ your just as ignorant as the music coming out of my stereo!


hmmm 4 years ago

and if you hold a tazer to an antenna it wont mess with the amp or subs if there hooked up to an amp might tho to the door speakers if there hooked up to the sterio but if there hooked up to a external amp to then only the headunit will be fucked... because only 2 wires that communicate with the headunit from the external amps are remote (tells amp to turn on with the car) and the rcas (sends the sound to the amp to distibute to the subs) and if you went for the battery most people (if there smart) put a fuze on the power wire.. so really if you wanna break som1's subs turn all the gains up on the headunit it will cause the amp and subs to clip (getting to much power) which can blow the subs and fry the amp after awhile


hmmm 4 years ago

and yess i have a boom car to also... 4 15's on 8k watts :P there 4 sundown sa-15's.. yess it is really loud if i want it to be and i am one of those people that will drive around at night sometimes with my shit shaking ur windows... im sorry haha... and to all those people that have to tur ur car alarms off im sorry...im not gonna stop tho ha


Tahoe03 4 years ago

If this was true it would have been really illegal and subs like i have cost about 1k each amp about $200 each i have 10 and everything else about 9k mostly for car shows and comps if i found out some one did this id set there car and house on fire and cement the doors closed and shoot anyone who came out so try me


James 4 years ago

you just wasted alot of my time reading this crap!!


someone 4 years ago

i am going to start sprying loud cars that drive down my street with water and welcome a fight from anyone willing to step on my property with my video cameras


tortured soul 4 years ago

I have been awakened at all hours of night by car stereo's from some 20 yr old useless turd whose parents moved out of the house to get away from him- I talked to him and asked that he turn it down- now the f'r beeps his very loud horn. I am looking for a soldier of fortune to help me put him out of my misery.- Not really, its just a dream I have, I wish I had enough $ to move myself the hell out. I just know someday the little ass is going to be bald and deaf!!!!


Tom 4 years ago

Those moronic "boom car" supporters all of which can't write, spell or use simple sentence structure. It just goes to show you what slimy, sleazy, UNEDUCATED, crude, rude and worthless scumbags they ALL are. You can brag about the tonnage of steaming manure in your vehicles (big stinking speakers) and how you prowl around town strutting nothing! Just proving what retards you ALL are!!!!!!! Obviously the "boom car" crowd has tremendous insecurities. These people are nothing, nothing more than thugs that try to compensate for their physical and mental inadequacies by driving around their shitty looking cars and trucks with blown mufflers and half a ton of shit audio equipment. With time laws will get stiffer regarding "boom cars" and hopefully those laws will allow impounding the "boom cars" and ripping out those retarded audio systems. Low class sleazy people will remain as long as man roams this planet, but "boom cars" will eventually be history:)


JC 4 years ago

By way of a disclaimer, "By the way, this story is complete and utter bunk." is just the sort of thing I would put up but unfortunately my brother, the military communications expert thinks your story quite plausible. ;-)


Jenn in Pcola 4 years ago

I myself have bass in my car.... I'm not illiterate, trashy, moronic, or an asshole. I like the way the bass feels and sounds in my car. I am now 30 and a mom of two kids... Son is 11 and daughter is 6. I do NOT have the subwoofers on when my children are in the car.... NEVER. I do NOT turn it up as loud as it could go.... NEVER. I have the gain knobs adjusted down a little so it's not as loud as other people have theirs.

Some people ask why do I have it.... How bout this: because I want it. My children are well cared for and I work for my money so therefore I can buy whatever I wish.

Just because I have a loud stereo in my car doesn't mean I have no education... I graduated high school in 2000 and medical school in 2002. I am now employed full-time as a computer repair technician (and am currently studying for my compTIA A+ certifications). I also do not drive a piece of crap - my car is a VW Passat.

I am married to my first love. I am happy in my life. And I am Caucasian, as is my husband.

To the ignorant post that people with loud stereos in their vehicles are guilty of "terroristic threats" is the most redicilous thing I've heard.... How is it making someone fear for their safety? To vibrate them half to death???

And we all have "tremendous insecurities"? Wow. That's new to me... As well as being stereotypical and casting labels, you've got the first place prize.

I apologize on behalf of the people with the good stereo systems... Not all of us are respectful of others.


MJ 4 years ago

When I was younger I had a stereo like these, but I never used it as they did. Its just not necessary to enjoy the music. I never had one complaint.


Omg 4 years ago

You motherfucker.


deanna 4 years ago

of course this is a 'real story' he can't say it is bez the rednecks might come across this and put two and two together and he'd end up in jail...I use to work with a lot of engineers and one day one eng friend of mine was getting really irrated with a neighbor, like this story, who would play his music as well. my friend went into his garage and doing what ever system engineers do, kept changing this kids channel, the kid would put it back to rap or whatever and my friend would change it again, this went back and forth for 15 minutes. My friend said this kid saw him in the garage and just looked at him with a big puzzled look, and finally turned the radio off, he never played his radio loud again.HA a true story.


ford 4 years ago

I also don't agree with the whole

"Those moronic "boom car" supporters all of which can't write, spell or use simple sentence structure. It just goes to show you what slimy, sleazy, UNEDUCATED, crude, rude and worthless scumbags they ALL are."

Easy with the Insults brother. Not everyone who has a sound system / subwoofers in their vehicle is always like that. In fact maybe you've never taken the time to sit and listen inside of a vehicle with a well designed sound system in it. You would be surprised how many different pitches and tones from your favorite songs that you hear with some bass and a good set of speakers.

All in all I do realize that there are some people out there who just enjoy to be abnoxious towards others with over-powering bass, but don't discriminate on all that have a sound system by calling us "terrorists" and saying we have "tremendous insecurities". Though that may be the case for some it is not the case for all.

Thank you.

Ps - I love my alpines! :)


karen 4 years ago

THIS IS A QUESTION FOR THE MAN WHOM ORIGINALLY WROTE THIS ARTICLE..CAN YOU MAKE ONE OF THSE DEVICES FOR ME TOO?ILIVE WHERE THERE ARE A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES TO THE 9TH DEGREE DOING THIS AND NEED ONE OF THOSE DEVICES..


ford 4 years ago

Karen,

"By the way, this whole story is complete and utter bunk. Just thought I’d let you know."

Not a true story.


robbie 4 years ago

an adequately sized potato in the exhaust pipe definitely stops the car...


Lee M 4 years ago

I completely sympathize with your ::ahem:: bunk noise problem. But, supposing this were real, and supposing one of the people in the house had a pacemaker, I guess you would have hypothetically murdered them, huh?


Jayce 4 years ago

No doubt about it, boom car drivers are retarded.


jaguar driving audiophile 4 years ago

I was looking over this website and some other websites complaining about noise, especially from loud car stereos. While I despise the same people you do, those that blast loud car stereos while sitting at a red lights, stuck in traffic, parked next door, etc., those who support efforts to create laws banning such equipment make you no better than those people you rally against.

I personally have a $5000, 2000 watt high end stereo in my Jaguar and while listening to classical music, it's just as if I'm live at an orchestra. My fine tuned system sounds so incredible and lifelike. Also, I've had stereos like this in my car since I first got my drivers license and never once have I been stopped by the police or even had a person complain about excessive noise. Why? Because I only crank up the volume when I am clear of homes and vehicles.

Efforts to restrict speaker sizes and amplifier outputs are draconian and un-American. Those who support such laws should be ashamed of themselves.

Sincerely, J. P. Glassey


mr. smith 4 years ago

We are the makers of noise.we make cars that go boom.I like it loud and thumping, but I also greatly respect my neighbors and fellow motorists. Your neighbor is very rude, I mean sometimes I can't resist jamming out in the neighborhood , but all the time, that can get annoying.


Mr.Old Fart 4 years ago

Hey you little whipper snappers.cut those loud juke boxes off.you should spend your hard earned money that you probably stole, on something useful. Dadburnit if I could get my hands on your little juke box id whack it wit my cane something good.in my day if we wanted music, id pick up some u of my neighbors and we would drive drive for hours singing our lungs out.songs like, ole pot still a boiling, koo koo birds singing,the ice cream song, or hears a good one, barnyard a mess let clean it up.oh he'll, guess im just getting old.cut that crap down:)


ToleranceNoMore 4 years ago

Tolerance for loud inconsiderate music is waning.


ToleranceNoMore 4 years ago

Constant thumping bass, while driving down the streets (not just your own neighborhood) should be considered an antagonistic threat to those who have to hear it against their will. Play your music in your car- fine. But don't MAKE others have to listen to it day in and out. Our American society is becoming a bunch of jackass wannabe thugs. If I recorded every profane word I could think of, and then play my voice screaming it out of my window while driving through neighborhoods- some people would take offense. This is no different. When the culprits are old (AND DEAF) I must admit I'll be glad. Burn in hell (or jail).


Nick 4 years ago

If his music is too loud you're too old...


common sense 4 years ago

I get tired of people using "its unamerican" to defend obnoxious loud car stereos, mufflers, pipes, etc.

It is unamerican to disturb the peace and violate the rights of everyone around you! Even a peaceful day at a remote state part is ruined by loud music and idiots with loud pipe on cars and motorcycles. Being a good American is about more than your self centered interests (or at least it used to be) it is about having a since of community, and respecting the rights of others.


Very American 4 years ago

It was well understood by the American founders that a nation of Liberty required people of respect. It was assumed that people would be respectful of their fellow man. There was a time in this country, and not so very long ago, when the owners of these "boom cars" would have had to face far more serious consequences than getting a traffic fine. There was a time when the people in the neighborhood would have all arrived at their house, and they would have been forced to promise never to make such a disrespectful racket again, or be the evening's entertainment as a whipping boy in town.

You see, there was a time when people didn't simply tolerate disrespectful people. Disrespectful children were spanked, and learned that disrespect was not acceptable. Disrespectful adults were flogged, beaten down, and sometimes jailed, until they learned respect. It was not acceptable to be rude, crude, and obnoxious.

One of the things that contributes to this is a sense of isolation, or insulation, if you will. Young people today don't feel connected with people outside of their little "zone," so they don't concern themselves with what might please or displease those people. If they'd get out from behind the Xbox longer than it took to boom to the gas station for Dew and back, they might connect with their community and have more positive peer pressure, but many don't bother. Shame on the parents that allow this, and shame on the children who persist in such imbecility as adults.

I am seriously thinking of setting up a water bomb in front of my house and blasting all the boom cars that come down the road. That'll get their attention! They subjected me to music that I was neither expecting nor liked, so I subject them to water that they were not expecting and didn't like! Fair's fair! If nothing else, it might get them out of their cars so I can tell them off.


Tim mcgill 4 years ago

There's some dead set LOSERS commenting on this


virender 4 years ago

It's really amazing to fry stereo of a noisy neighbor. Can any one provide me circuit diagram. I want to build this just for experiment. With than x

Please mail me to "vrndrsngh85@gmail.com"

Any reply in this regard shall be highly appreciated


virender 4 years ago

It's really amazing to fry stereo of a noisy neighbor. Can any one provide me circuit diagram. I want to build this just for experiment. With than x

Please mail me to "vrndrsngh85@gmail.com"

Any reply in this regard shall be highly appreciated


Alexandre 4 years ago

This is a nice story. Too bad the device isn't real, or it is, but not so easy to come by or it's illegal :)

These audio devices have been annoying me for the past 10 years or so, and I'm not too old either, I'm 25 and have a head on my shoulder, I know to respect people.

I can't remember where I read it, but there was a german person that did something like that, and I think they managed to successfully disable the electronics of a passing car. However he/she was arrested from what I recall.

It's sad when you're the culprit for trying to defend yourself. Of course, personal retaliation isn't the ideal solution, but what else can be done when law enforcement won't do their job? Similarly, if I were to go bang my fists on a boomer's house wall (pretend I enjoy that on the same level as a boomer), either I'd get a beating from the owner or they'd call the cops. Either way the cops would be on their side.

Until the day discotheques-on-wheels are bunkers from which no sound can escape, I don't think they have their place on the roads and they should be severily fined. We almost ALL live right next to a road, so it's just natural that we want to reduce unecessary noise as much as possible.


Sparky 4 years ago

It's called a spark-gap transmitter. Build one.

At the point where you're putting thousands of watts and multiple woofers in your car, you are no longer creating a sound for your own enjoyment, but rather building a system to project sound outside of your vehicle and thus imposing your sound on others. My gratitude to those who have self-control who have posted. It is not you we have a gripe with.


Vector_Protector 4 years ago

I have to say I'm a bit distraught over the comments left by "bass-haters." I have a very powerful stereo capable of producing very, very high SPL's. That being said on occasion I have had issues with neighbors regarding the bass levels emitted from my dorm. That being said I have always lowered the volume when asked, I have also had the campus police called on me before. My point is if you want the bass levels reduced tell them, bitching does nothing. Also, I'm an engineering student so don't start making snarky comments about my intelligence.


Angry at the Noise 4 years ago

I truly hate the bass from boom cars. It makes me have a bad headache and makes me nauseous, not to mention it screws with my emotional state making me severly angry. These guys with their boom bass cars really a kind of bully who want to force their noise into other people's earspace and living space. It feels very violent, actually. I can't choose not to listen to it, I am forced to listen to it, and I hate it with a passion. So why the heck do I have to hear it every 10 minutes or so go past my home all day long? And when traffic stalls outside, it's unbearable. It really intrudes on my mental space and pollutes my environment with a noise that I detest. So why do a bunch of snotty, jerk kids have the right to force me to listen to their crappy music periodically all through the day? It gives me a headache and makes me nauseous. Both me and my son are really sensitive to this horrid sound. It sucks to work hard to have a decent home, only to have rude, cocky idiots drive by with this stupid "boom, boom, boom" crap blaring from their cars, reverberating in my ears and head. I can't read my books, or spend nice time in my yard, or have peaceful moments with my children because every 10 minutes or so I'm interrupted by some damn self centered creep who feels the need to blast bass from their car. Honestly, it should not be allowed. It's criminal. It's especially mean because it wakes up babies. Yeah, really cool going around blasting noise that wakes up babies, upsets autistic kids, gives war veterans PTSD and annoys everyone else. I don't know why the heck they are not getting arrested and fined for disturbing the peace, because it is truly unfair to others to have to put up with this racket. Cars are for transport, and should not be allowed to be used as sonic weapons. The sad thing is these car boomers are probably being allowed to blast their noise because it does intrude on everyone else, turning the country into a sort of institutionalized, uncivil, mean, noisy environment which causes bad feelings in others. The people doing it are just too naïve to really understand that they are are not cool at all, just gullible tools. Think about it.


Luke 4 years ago

They took our jobs!


alipuckett profile image

alipuckett 4 years ago

HA! Brilliant. Great story!


electronicharasser 4 years ago

I hate to say it but even if someone annoys you using technology in this way is wrong. You know what happens if you emit powerful EM radiation at people? Naturally it depends on the frequency and power, but yeah, your just one step away there. Let me tell you, if blind someone when just trying to annoy them, you regret it, big time...


scottm58 4 years ago

Now this is a tale I can relate to-real or imagined.Everyday I listen to an endless convoy of 20 year old dimwits blasting the daylights out of themselves and everyone within a 10 block radius of their vehicles and it is slowly driving me nuts.I have begun to envision the same kind of semi violent revenge fantasies described in your article.Although I haven't cooked up anything truly devious or even remotely clever,I have been entertaining the idea of a bowling ball catapult lately.Of course even with the promise of hilarious unforeseen results to tempt one,the possibility of catastrophic failure looms rather too large even for my level of tightly wound frustration.

Anyway it's nice to know I'm not alone.


Express10 profile image

Express10 4 years ago from East Coast

It's so irritating and rude to blast music from cars, in apts, homes, etc. The people who do this are asking for trouble but always act like they are not harming or harassing anyone's right to peace and quiet.

If anyone does come up with a legal electronic device to take out car stereo specifically or permanently turn them down to a max of 25% their potential output, they would be BILLIONAIRES!!!!!


scottm58 4 years ago

You are certainly not alone Express10.Hey,I'm actually a musician and enjoy listening to music but things have gotten ridiculously out of hand.Kids driving around and listening to music is one thing,while chronic seismic activity utilized to intimidate others is quite another.I not only don't want to hear about "players and bitches" etc..I don't want to hear it through a bone cracking vital organ puncturing blizzard of airwaves courtesy of some pimple faced 16 year old urban wanna be who has zero concept of the notion of "personal space".

Of course we always need to be very careful about toying around with the idea of "getting even" as it doesn't take much imagination picturing where skirting the boundaries of the law could lead us.I personally have been thinking about writing a letter to the local paper to see how much interest there might be in putting together a petition for a noise bylaw of some kind.There is no reason why the rest of us should have to live with this kind of outrageous,thoughtless and arrogant behavior.


Express10 profile image

Express10 4 years ago from East Coast

Amen Scottm58! I am considerate of others peace & quiet and I act accordingly even when they trample all over my same right. I still say that we peace lovers need an electronic device to knock the nonsense off. I live in a city that has noise ordinance and the police are so busy with other things and complainants such as myself are left to our own devices and suffering. Being polite doesn't work (I wrote about a truly horrible experience in my hub Why Can't We Just Get Along) with many of these boneheads.

I can't believe some of the cuss words these people blast in public. It doesn't matter if there are kids around or not, many people don't want to hear it, it's offensive and unwanted. However, many people are afraid to speak up about this because they know fights and arguments often result. As for a noise ordinance, be careful what you wish for. Noise ordinances, are often laws that aren't often enforced by law enforcement :(


scottm58 4 years ago

Express10 you and I are definitely on the same page when it comes to respecting the rights of others,and *gasp* expecting a little consideration in turn.I too know through experience that there is little point in confronting someone directly about the problem,and by "confronting" I mean politely asking that they you know,maybe turn it down a tad?Perhaps one guy in 30 will happily comply whereas the other 29 will instantly glaze over and gradually exhibit varying degrees of effrontery ranging from mildly ticked off to psychotically enraged.(BTW,I'll have to check out your hub-I'm new to this business)Believe me though the idea of a magic bullet electronic device is truly delicious to imagine and if someone slapped one in my hand I would no doubt be helplessly compelled to put it into immediate action.Your point about noise ordinances is also well taken-things have a habit of never quite working out the way we imagine.Hey! How about a telescoping spring loaded truck mounted steel reenforced "fly swatter"?

That might "coax" MC Droopy Drawers into turning it down.


Moon 4 years ago

How disappointing that this is just a story-we've got one of these literally in our own backyard. Both houses on either side of this guy are for sale. I wonder why? Unfortunately moving doesn't mean it won't happen elsewhere unless you can afford a house on a very big piece of property. No one gives a damn about anyone else any more.


John 4 years ago

That's a great story. I've been listening to my Flippino neighbors lour rap crap since early morning. They started with the filthy lyrics right after their amplified church mass forced on the entire neighborhood. That's how I ended up reading this. Entertaining, but now I have to find a real solution to do what your story says.


harry schein 4 years ago

hi i have a noisy neighbord he dosent undestand that is late and still playing his stereo very loud full blast,i know there is a tool that you aim at the stereo and will fry it.PLEASE ineed help to get this tool.thank you


michaelhiltams 4 years ago

hi there gary if you are still in need of them this is there link

and some info ,give them a call ,say I recommened you


Trailer Trash profile image

Trailer Trash 4 years ago from Pensacola Author

Thanks for reading, all, and thank you for your comments. I'm not a guy, I'm a woman who wrote this article. Just a friendly reminder: this article is NOT TRUE. It is parody. I do not have any schematics or information on how to "blow up" someone's stereo system. This article was meant as a form of humor. :-)


Trailer Trash profile image

Trailer Trash 4 years ago from Pensacola Author

There is no such tool. There is a disclaimer that states that the story is pure "bunk", meaning not true.


Ty 4 years ago

Even though this story is fiction (and very well written if I might add) it still plants a delicious desire for some Einstein out there to develop an instrument that would disable some bass loving cretins electronics. Even permanently. I'm fortunate to live in an upper middle class community. My neighbors are all well educated ranging from engineers, doctors, lawyers, real estate agents and contractors. They and their children are respectful of their neighbors and we co-exist peacefully. When I venture out into the city, that is where I'm struck with one too many low class motorists who thinks nothing of assaulting me and everyone else with HIS mentally challenged, filthy, egregious bass. For those bass thugs it's 99% of the time a Hispanic motorist driving a clapped out junk yard car, truck, mini-van or SUV with more power to HIS amplifiers in the trunk than horespower under the hood. Lordy, lordy...... Once in a blue moon do I witneess a young, white (male) motorists blasting bass; NEVER have I witnessed any young Asian driver blasting that garbage, and the African Americans that I encounter on the road are NEVER blasting that junk either. My guess is that education, ethics and proper parenting and instilling proper social values are the virtues that are totally absent in SOME cultures. Why else would anybody be cruel enough to rove about blasting that audiable raw sewage? No respectable, socially responsible person acts in such a degenerative manner. Bass thugs are a breed all their own. They are a tiny fringe of the population of which MOST people regard as a sub-species. Something is so horribly lacking in those bass thugs. As long as man inhabits this suffering sphere we inhabit, the perils of a few bad apples will always spoil (or atleast attempt to spoil) the good.


Pharmc22 3 years ago

Hello! eekdccd interesting eekdccd site! I'm really like it! Very, very eekdccd good!


BekaS1974 3 years ago


Trolley 3 years ago

Dude this was epic! Great story writing.


AA 3 years ago

Ah, sweet catharsis. Thanks for writing this, and to all the (conscious, intelligent) commentors.


cvbcvb 3 years ago

cvcvb


pichas 3 years ago

whoa, amazing story !

here's idea i came up with, if you can see the speakers, you can aim the sun rays by a glass and damage those terrible speakers, i think that should work.

sorry for my English, not my native language.


Yodamite 3 years ago

I happened upon this story as I was looking up "boom car" solutions. I have been enduring a constant barrage of deafening bass from the white trash that lives next door to me. Yes, all of them are white, half of them are women, and none of them actually live there. I frequently fantasize about walking over there and pounding their skulls into hamburger with an aluminum baseball bat.

I enjoyed this story very much.


EmbarrassedForWhites 2 years ago

99% of the time this vile activity is done by young white males that are dying for attention.


boomernig 2 years ago

you're all a bunch of dumb Cocksuckers. guess what, I have 8 15 inch subs in my car all running at 2000 watts each. If I want to drive up and down your street for 12 hours boom booming, guess what, I'm going to and there's nothing you can do to stop me. You're all a bunch of petty annoying bitches.


Express10 profile image

Express10 2 years ago from East Coast

And thanks to Boomernig for proving the vast majority's point. And actually there are many areas where one may assume nothing can be done, but there is plenty that can be done, legally AND not. Whatever treatment you get just depends on whether you light the recipients' shortest or longest fuse. It's something that is simply best not done because you never know for certain which fuse you've lit or what the recipients' are capable of.


Anon 2 years ago

Please let this be a true story...


DisgruntledGuy 2 years ago

I don't consider the thing that lives next door to me to be a human. It doesn't look human. It looks like a worm. On its better days, it looks like a walking penis. Oh, with glasses. It wears the big-frame glasses to hide the fact that it has no eyebrows. It has no hair at all. Alopecia, the condition is called, and normally I'd feel sorry for such an afflicted being but this monstrosity is a boom-boom dimwit and a general piece of garbage. There's something wrong with the way he can't control his head very well, too. It kind of flops around. But this is incidental.

In my little sphere of existence, it is a Chevy Blazer that torments me. It has a Jesus fish on the tow package and recently the worm-thing is trying to convince people that he ran a half-marathon with a 13.1 sticker on the tinted window (he most certainly has not, especially since he can't control his head). Oh, and there are those lovely fake chrome, fake air vents made out of plastic glued to the vehicle, available for purchase at Wal Mart in a convenient two-pack for $7.99. I saw them there. The Chevy Blazer is the love of his life. I suspect he fucks the tailpipe when no one is looking or at the very least some frottage with the wipers. The Blazer is garaged, of course, and covered with a blanket while garaged, too. It is important that the blanket be adjusted just so, which can take up to five minutes of finagling. Blazer is rubbed down several times per week with I think a beach towel. Blue and white stripes. Lovely. Rubbed, stroked, caressed, worshiped and adored. The Bald Worm's wife exists to assist in these endeavors: she most certainly is never rubbed with a beach towel of her own. She is subservient to the Monster and not relevant to our story except to note that he's got himself a tubby, dumpy slave woman to help care for the SUV.

Baldo moved into the neighborhood and immediately set about taking it over. He'd mow a two foot section of my front lawn that is adjacent to his driveway. I assume I didn't mow it soon enough to suit him. By mowing a single strip, he likely figured he could humiliate my for my negligence and get me to mow it in due time. Chop, chop! (For the record, my grass was perfectly fine, within code and simply mowed less than once every three days, as he does.) When autumn rolled around, he blew half the leaves off my grass and into the center of my yard. I wanted them where they were because I was going to mulch them in. I read that on a gardening website and was eager to try it. Then it rained and I had a pile of leaves that was worthless and soggy and totally unsuitable for proper mulching. What a dick. Snow, oh, yes. He wanted to blow that off my sidewalk, too, and did so with glee. I do my snow removal when the snow stops. See, this way I get it all at once. He does it four, five times during the event. I could tell he wanted me to do it his way. He told another neighbor that he wished he could put a sign on his lawn that read: "If your dog shits on my grass I will kill it." Now, all this is to give you an idea what kind of person I have here, what kind of person enjoys a good boom-boom.

I recall not exactly when the subwoofer was installed but I am sure he celebrates that birthday annually with a cake, balloons and a colorful sticker on a calendar, though he himself needs no reminder of the greatest day in his life. Two years it went on before I exploded. Two years, starting as early as 7:30 AM on a Sunday. A Sunday! Usually it is 8:35 when I hear the squeal of his unoiled garage door and I know with a pit of dread in my stomach that the Chevy Blazer is being rolled out for the world to praise and enjoy and envy. During the endless polishing process, the boom-boom plays. Once -- get this -- Billy Joel's atrocious "Uptown Girl". Imagine that with a subwoofer. Why? Sometimes it is Christian rock, but you knew that. And Latin rhythms but maybe you knew that, too. My bed shakes, my windows rattle, my floors and wall vibrate. It may be thumping, grinding, booming, pounding or downright, gosh-darn jitterbugging. Wonder-Worm will open the windows on the Blazer and pretend to do yard or garage work while thrilling the once-quiet neighborhood with his most excellent choices in music. Once upon a time I thought iPods were kind of silly but now I see the value in using earbuds. Oh, yes I do.

One Saturday morning in early spring, the world was trying to have a nice day. The sun wanted to shine and birds wanted to sing but all we got instead was boom-boom, boom-boom. Now, I had previously -- a few weeks prior -- been forced to wander out into my yard, bleary-eyed and wearing my robe, to tell him to turn it down. I even suggested he just turn down the bass. He said he would. I guess he did. A notch, perhaps. Because nothing seemed to change for my ears. Asking one time is all anyone is going to get from me so when it started again on that spring day that wanted to be glorious but could not, I threw open my window and yelled out: "What the fuck? Every fucking day with that shit? You wake me up every fucking day!" He did a furious little monkey-dance and dared me to call the police. Which I did. But he called the police as well because I "yelled" at him. Far as I know, there's no law against that and the police didn't seem to know of one, either. As you can guess, they didn't do much about it but the boom-boom was diminished that day. The birdies, however, decided not to sing after all.

Time passed and nothing changed. Five more calls to the police, five more visits by cops to his house, five more times he stood out there defiantly screaming at the police themselves, even going so far as to show them his monkey-dance. He vowed to "fight it." He pitched his "rights," which I don't honestly know if he has. He would turn it down or off after the police left, then fire up the pressure washer as retribution.

It should be noted as well that was instructed to stay off my property, leave my lawn and leaves and snow however I desired them to be, and to generally maybe please give some consideration to not being such a massively huge, gaping asshole. He was complying a little bit, but only a little bit. What he does now is to turn on the boom-boom as he's backing out of the driveway to go to Fundamentalist church to roll in the aisles and speak in tongues or whatever the fuck they do there on Sunday. A few seconds of it. Enough to wake me and then he's gone like a shot down the street. A second neighbor finally came out and also told him to knock it the fuck off. He is slowly becoming aware that he is hated now but he's still got the Blazer to love him so he likely doesn't care.

I put signs in my windows. Signs about doing right by Jesus. Bible verses. Stuff that shows him to be a hypocrite but is perfectly legal. No threats, of course. He isn't capable of being humiliated but I figure it's time for him to listen to me after all the mornings I had to listen to "Uptown Girl." Come on, you know that's fair.

A few days ago he shovel all his snow directly onto my lawn and pointed the thrower on his snowblower to direct the stream halfway into my front and back yards. So now I have a warning sign in another window letting him know that my property is not his dumping ground.

Today he worshiped the Blazer for three hours before taking it out. The entire neighborhood was impressed with it, of course. I suppose when a bald worm has a two-inch penis (can't be more than that, right?), he's got to have something else to wag about and show to the world. In this case, it's a Chevy Blazer. And, hell... it's not even new. It's like a 2002 or something. Fuck.

I received security cameras and many motion sensor lights for Christmas. They will be installed soon.


Sus33 2 years ago

Great story! LOL

I'm glad you posted this. I have been dealing with my neighbors noise for about 4 years . My neighborhood has turned ghetto. I live in Las Vegas in a neighborhood that use to be nice. Then all the conservative retired people started selling their homes and then Hispanic people took over. I hate to say this but there is always going to be trash in each race. I'm Hispanic and came from a low income neighborhood but I was raised to be respectful to people. But most of the people around me could care less! It's absolutely disrespectful and it really irritates the f...! out of me. I constantly have to go outside to my neighbors homes to tell them to turn it down, and it's usually kids around 18-22 that have trucks and installed powerful sound systems that make my windows rattle. I have dealt with the parents too and they think I'm nuts! They looked at me puzzled as if I was the crazy one. So then I began to understand where they came from and why they don't understand. Most of them were raised to be oblivious to that kind of noise.

And not to mention the birthday parties on the weekends, jeez............I feel like I'm at their kids b-day party too! They hire DJ's to play their awful music and the kids get thrown in an inflatable jumper bounce home while the adults party it up by drinking and pretend their kids don't exist! Or they run around the neighborhood playing tag shouting loud until passed midnight on the weekend.

I have been very patient to the BOOM BOOM for a while but have managed to quite down some neighbors by calling the cops every time they have loud backyard b-day parties. The cops are probably tired of me! As I know they are starting to make other phone calls high priorities due to the police lay offs. But I still call anyway! Sometimes it takes a few minutes and sometimes it may take hours. And if I see they take a while then I go crash their party and hang out in their backyard until they turn it down, but I do it with caution of course. Now for the BOOM BOOM and their trucks, this is something I'm still trying to figure out. I have quieted down some of my neighbors involving the police and involving the city ordinance officers that I personally call when they are around the neighborhood checking up on other ordinance issues. But there is still some homes and their BOOM BOOM I'm still working on it. These stubborn sons of bitches are stubborn. The min I call the cops they know to turn it down and then the cops end up coming for nothing so most of the time I cancel the police call. I'm also being consistent and I will walk to their homes and keep telling them to turn it down. I figured that annoys them so I keep asking them to turn it down. But to be honest that is getting old. So now I'm recording them with my mobile phone and keeping track of their loudness. And I'm also looking into all the city ordinance codes because clearly they have violated some. And if they don't stop I will take them to court.

I don't think some of these fuck heads know that they are the reason their homes are not worth anything. Pure fuckin ignorance.


Timothy 2 years ago

My sympathies to anyone who is currently or who has previously lived near some cretin(s) who are bass addicts and or criminals. A little over a decade ago the home next door to mine was put up for sale. The elderly, original owner's moved to an assisted living center. They were a sweet, clean, quiet and friendly couple. I was sad to see them move.

The new family who moved in, a youngish hispanic couple, with five hyper active children, and their worn Ford Expedition with mufflers and a sound system that you can hear a block away.

When my new neighbors were moving in they permitted their five children to run trough my yard and those unruly brats trampled my beautiful iris garden that was in bloom! These were irises that the original owner of my home planted in the 1940's! I opened my front door and scolded the children. They just looked at me dumfounded and kept running around and screaming in my yard. Next their mother comes out and her children go darting off across the street and go running through my other neighbor's front yard. I introduced myself to my next door neighbor, and she didn't introduce herself to me. She knew virtually no english. I tried to explain to her that her children must be instructed to stay off of other peoples' properties. And I pointed to my trampled iris garden. She gives me a look like she'd shoot me if she had a gun. I tried to be diplomatic and not sound like some sort of egoist. But I was almost in tears over my beautiful irises being "murdered." My neighbor shouts out her husband's name and he comes out of the house. I was hoping he had some command of english but his was limited but not like his wife. I introduced myself to him and he was a little friendlier than his stone cold wife. I welcomed them to the neighborhood and then I politely asked the husband if he would please instruct his children not to run through my yard or anybody else's. He looks at me in sort of a glazed hypnotic trance like way and nods his head in "approval."

Things seemed to be in check for the first few weeks (except for my destroyed garden) that is until I was awakened by what sounded like a mariachi band playing in my hallway. It was that mexican polka style music that's nothing but over modulated bass fiddles, guitars and trumpets.

Here it is at 9:00 AM and my "lovely" new neighbors are hosting a festive birthday celebration for one of their five children complete with a live amplified band! It was horrible! The bass was so loud that pictures were falling off of my walls from the vibrations and a glass of water that was on my nightstand was vibrating. It was sheer hell! On top of that there were around fifty children screaming like chickens being slaughtered.

I look out my front window and there's several children running around in my front yard! Two of the brats were from next door and the others belonged to parents at the party. My lawn was torn up, sprinklers broken and pottery was damaged. I was so pissed by now that I screamed at these children to, "Get the hell out of my yard!" They all look at me and laugh and scream and kept running around.

One of the parents is out by her SUV and she comes storming over on my property claiming that "she saw me assaulting her son." I told her that, "I didn't touch your son or any of the other children who are on my property. They are trespassing and damaged my property." All this uncouth woman could say was f-you this, and f-you that, blah, blah, blah. And then she had the audacity to call me racist! Pardon me? Racist? I'd yell at any little sh^^ who was on my property destroying it!

Anyway the "gala" next door waged until 8:00 PM! I wanted to call the police because the bass was so intense I thought my home was going to be damaged from the ongoing infrasound rattling every room in my house. I wasn't going to leave for the day in fear that my property would be at risk.

Thankfully there were a series of complaints from other neighbors who reported the noise to the police. My neighbors were fined because there was alcohol being served without a permit and with minors present and that amplified music is prohibited indoors and outdoors if it exceeds certain decibels. And I was told that the police measured the sound at being 95db's from the front of their home!

After the party disbanded the husband next door comes over and wanted to know why I ruined their party by calling the cops. I told him that I wanted to call the police but I didn't. He looks at me like I had just been found guilty of murdering his whole family. He then rambles on how much this party cost and now his son is crying because the police said the party had to stop. I finally told my neighbor that, "I have lived in this neighborhood for a very long time and that I know my rights."

Knowing that this man's english was limited, his intelligence as well, I knew that I wasn't speaking with a terrible bright nor diplomatic individual here, so I just cut the conversation right then and there. I had to repair all of the damage done to my yard by those little shi* brats who tore it up during that egregious party.

I resorted to having to put up a wrought iron fence and motion sensing lights. Yes, it was expensive for an iron fence and electrical conduit to be installed. But what was I to do?

The next phase of my new neighbor's from hell is when their oldest boy, who was 12 at the time, took up the bass guitar! Oh my god! Every morning I'd hear this dang kid plucking away on his stupid bass guitar. The sound was so loud it made my windows rattle! I'd come home for lunch sometimes from work and he'd be thumping away! When I came home from work this kid would be on his bass sometimes until 1:00 AM! I don't know if this kid, or his siblings, even went to school?!

Then these people decided to get a dog. A pit bull terrier!!! That damn dog would go ballistic every time I went in my backyard. I was terrified it was going to scale the adjoining fence of my yard and my horrible neighbor. They'd walk the dog sometimes unleashed! And it would always defecate, in the same place, at the curb by my driveway and they'd never clean it up.

The husband's wife would drive past me and just glare at me if I was out front and she's see me. Their now 13 year old boy (the horrible bass player) was at that awkward creepy age and I was getting the finger from his almost every time I'd see him. He'd even look over my side of the fence and give me the finger if he saw me. I gave him the finger once when he peered over my fence and he quickly retreated when I did LOL! He knew his bass guitar playing was bothering me so he'd open his bedroom window and turn his amp way up just to piss me off.

By now my once tranquil life was going down the toilet and fast. I considered putting my lovely home of 27 years on the market. I loved my home and the community but I was plagued with the proverbial neighbors from hell just fifteen feet away from me.

Months later, one saturday afternoon, I saw four sheriff's patrol cars, two in front of my hellish neighbor's home and two across the street from his home. An hour or so later the husband is being escorted out of his home in handcuffs! Whoa the guy's busted! His wife is by his side screaming at the officers and crying. I couldn't tell what she was saying.

I found out shortly after that this neighbor of mine was busted for being part of a theft ring and meth possession! It's kind of creepy knowing that I had a criminal right next door to me. But you consider the source of such rude and bellicose people like that. Anyway, about a week later, I see a U-Haul truck in front of their home and they vacate the property! I couldn't believe it! They're gone! These lower than flotsam individuals are really gone!

I've got great neighbors now. Who're all quiet! There's been an influx of more professionals coming into my community. With higher property values that means no more uneducated boors who don't no what end is up!


DisgruntledGuy 2 years ago

Oh, how I fantasize about the day a moving truck will appear! You are so fortunate. I also fantasize about that bald douchebag being arrested -- for anything at all, I am not picky.

Notice how the posts about this scourge are appearing again now that warmer weather is here. It's really fucking sad: I often pray for rain and I enjoyed all the blizzards this last winter because the giant, walking penis wouldn't take the Holy Blazer out of the garage.

What's really sad is that in most cases, the police are useless. Depending on the jurisdiction, they either have to measure it with a decibel meter, measure it by distance the sound has traveled, or leave it to the officer's discretion. The end result is nearly always the same: nothing happens. They don't measure or they "advise" that the boom boom be "turned down," which does nothing to help the homes nearest to it. Those sound waves permeate, penetrate and nauseate even at reduced volume. But it is THEIR RIGHT TO PLAY MUSIC. So how the MOTHERFUCK does MY RIGHT TO EXIST IN PEACE come second? Seriously, I want an answer.

A neighbor across the street gave me a video recording from his own surveillance cameras of an argument he had with the Walking Penis about the noise, which upsets him, too. Walking Penis screeches that the sound level is "right there, just legal." Oh, OK. How nice. Because it is barely legal, it's OK. How the determination "just legal" came to be remain in question. But to keep doing something just because you won't get punished for it even though you are fully aware that others are suffering because of it is repulsive behavior, no two ways about it.

Security cameras are up. He gave them the finger. Motion sensor lights are also up. Fence install soon. Complaint letters to anyone who will listen are going out in the mail this week. I know nothing will change but I have to try.


flowboy 2 years ago

enjoyed the tale, true or not. You could add that Tesla's most important invention was A/C - Alternating Current that we all use in our homes


click 23 months ago

I too had a noisy bass problem. Until i figure out a way too it down or off . You see most new audio or amps devices have a remote. A few mods on a universal remote get in range you can steal the. Remotes code and bam noisy car get possed by the Holy spirit.


Diego Prendergast 22 months ago

The easiest way to get people to turn down their noisy stereos is to ask them, point-blank. This is a great article.


scott 21 months ago

these morons with the booming car radios , need to have there cars impounded, fined $5000 dollars , if illeagle deported, tfen maybe can get some sleep at night, sterio removed before car is released from impound, that's good for a start, scott n


A reader 19 months ago

You're one of the more annoying writers I've ever encountered. The first ten paragraphs were unbearable, and a quick scan to the end revealed that the story is full of shit anyway. You're a dick who writes like a fool.


Alex Kap 18 months ago from Boston area

Regardless of story authenticity, I remembered why I didn't reinstall my old system in the new car. Thanks for the nostalgic laugh.


murphaleen profile image

murphaleen 18 months ago

I decided to read your article again today as good weather is beginning here in South Bend, Indiana and bad vibrations have already started filling the air.

Your writing is captivating, your subject is on the mark, and your denouement is a bell-ringer. I laughed heartily all over again, but felt that pang of regret once again at the back-to-real-life ending. Are we really helpless in combating this plague?

This year, I'm hoping for a peaceful summer outside, but the odds are not with me. I wish Code Enforcement was as rigorous in their pursuit of noise level violations as they are with parking on the wrong side of the street during snow removal days. In fairness they try to do an acceptable job, but neither they nor the police do much in terms of noise abatement. In fact, I've had a police officer tell me that we do not have a city statute for noise abatement (we do!). As British author, Robert Lacey, said: “Of all the varieties of modern pollution, noise is the most insidious.”

Not certain what agenda "An (?) Reader" had in his/her critique, but I do not hold with the stance. Carry on, "Trailer Trash" and fight the good fight!


Jmart 17 months ago

How much would one of these costs to build


WL7JA 14 months ago

Would be to hard to actually build a device to stop the Boom boom now a days you would just need to build a Bias Generator.


Max 13 months ago

I started learning that this was fiction after the 1st paragraph! Yes you can make this or even worst device but illegal!

EX-Army with extreme electronics knowledge


Rick 8 months ago

I know that this was written some time ago,but i gotta say; This was absolutely the best story i have ever read! It was absolutely hilarious! I stumbled upon this article because while i dont have any jackass loid neighbors,the street i live on connects the decent part of town to the ghetto...So i have an issue with ghetto trash driving down the street blasting rap...

I would love to blow each and every subwoofer that comes down my street vibrating the house.


Van 7 months ago

I suspect a car's electronics would be quite shielded. A noisy apartment neighbor is a softer target. Try a high powered transmitter of a CB radio.

If this doesn't work, get a used microwave oven and modify it with a highly directional wave guide. Get as close to his electronics as possible.

Tune the transmitter until it interfers with the subwoofers' amplifier.

Be careful with the with the microwave technique---It can kill you.

Do basic research on these these things for effects and safety.

Do your research and construction while you are being assaulted by your

neighbor's noise. This makes your effort far easier!

Turn these things on only long enough to cause damage to the neighbors

electronics. This will thwart the FCC from sniffing you out.

Any harm done on the neighbors' side of the wall to his person is acceptable collateral damage. He fucked with you first!

The neighbor will never know he is under attack. Don't broadcast

your voice over the CB!

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