Toddlers And Tiaras -- Mr. and Miss Nevada

Absolutely Fabulous...NOT!

Original Airing: June 19, 2013

A lot of bad things can be said about the pageant moms, but one thing isn't that they have no interest in their child. That is, until we meet Absolutely Fabulous Mom whose too busy thinking she's fabulous to pay her kids any attention. Instead she has a group of nannies to do her parenting for her. I'm just surprised she didn't pay someone to have the kids for her, as well.

Anyway, Amanda is her name and she has a 3 year old named Mimi. The woman employs nine...count em...nine nannies to take care of her kids. I didn't count how many kids the woman has, but she doesn't have nine kids, so that means she's assigned more than one nanny per kid. It's actually her husband's idea that Mimi does the pageants; she could frankly care less, as it would infringe on her time of being fabulous. Mimi's pageant coach is Georgina.

We actually met Coach Regina before. It was the episode where she had two kids entered at the same pageant and one of the girl's was named Elizabeth and her grandmother Noni didn't feel she was giving Elizabeth as much attention as the other girl and gave Elizabeth a bad hair-do compared to the other girl. I actually thought Noni had a point.

Noni and Elizabeth are back and they still employ Georgina as coach, but this time Noni is hiring a drag queen to do Elizabeth's hair and make-up. Yeah, I thought that was a strange choice, myself.

The third contestant is Ava who is 5. Her mom Erica explains her husband runs a business called, Girls Direct To You, that sends out strippers. Erica says she's not worried about Ava growing up around strippers, while Ava asks some of the strippers to show her their moves. Most mothers wouldn't want their kids hanging out with strippers, but then most mothers wouldn't push their child to do something they're terrified of, either.

Ava is afraid of heights so what does Mom Erica do? She has her taken up on a trapeze while Ava is screaming her head off in terror. Erica feels it's good to push kids like that. I wonder if she was afraid of heights and someone did that to her, if she'd still feel it was good?

Mimi is taken to visit the peacocks since the costume portion of the upcoming pageant is to dress up as a zoo character. She's going to be a peacock. Mimi has a fit when the peacocks run away from her as she's trying to do their dance for them, but it's nothing compared to the crying fit when Mom Amanda shoves Mimi in a car with her siblings and nannies. Seems it impinges on her time of being fabulous if she has to ride with the kids to the pageants.

Meanwhile, Ava arrives with her parents to the pageant by helicopter and Elizabeth and Noni arrive in an over-the-top limo. It's almost like the parents think these kids are super stars arriving at a movie premiere and they must make a grand entrance for their awaiting fans.

Frank Moreno and his drag queens are hosting and judging the pageant. Frank, dressed as Joan Rivers is the master of ceremonies. Maybe Noni was smart having a drag queen do Elizabeth's hair, since the judges would be drag queens. I didn't really think her hair looked that great, but one of the drag queens thought it was a vast improvement over her hair last time she did this contest and they judged.

During the beauty portion of the pageant, Fabulous Amanda is upset she has to be backstage with Mimi because all the nannies are busy with the other children. I know the woman doesn't have nine kids, so how could they be keeping nine nannies busy? Usually one nanny can handle more than one kid. Just how out of control are her kids if they can keep nine nannies busy?

Mimi has a bit of a problem during her beauty routine. The problem is she won't get off the stage when her turn is over. At a guess, I'd say the reason she loves standing on stage and doesn't want to leave is the only time she gets any attention and feels special, because she sure doesn't seem to get any kind of attention from Fabulous Amanda, who is one of those women who shouldn't have kids as they have no interest in them.

Ava also has problems during her beauty routine. Some of the strippers from Girls Direct To You came to cheer Ava on and they distract her with their cheering. I don't know why the heck Erica didn't just go over to them and tell them to stop. It wouldn't have been the simplest solution to the problem.

After Zoo Wear, it's time for crowning. Mimi gets Grand Supreme 0-3. Ava gets Grand Supreme 4-6. And Elizabeth wins the top award, Ultimate Grand Supreme, so the drag queen seemed to give her the edge over her other contestants.

Little Ava has a fit because she didn't win the top prize. She throws a temper tantrum and mom has to coach her to go on stage to have her picture taken with the other girls. She declares she was better than Elizabeth and should have won. No, honey, you messed up your beauty routine because you got distracted by your stripper friends, so you weren't better. The way this kid behaved because she didn't win the top prize is a sign Mom Erica she take that this kid isn't cut-out for these pageants. And if she insists on keeping her doing them, then she needs to teach this kid to be grateful for the prize that she won and not claim she was better and more deserving to win than the kid that did win.

Meanwhile, the prize for winning was a 14 foot trophy and she and Noni were trying to figure how to get it home. As big as their limo was, I don't think it'll fit in there. She asks who wins a big trophy like this. No one. So this is probably the ultimate trophy she'll get as a pageant queen.

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