Toddlers And Tiaras -- Universal Royalty Galaxy Queen 2013

Jesus take the wheel

Original Airing: June 12, 2013

We didn't have an outrageous mother like Sugar Shock Mother from last week who kept pouring vast amounts of sugar and caffeine down her child's throat to keep her high as a kite. In fact, I didn't see any of the mother's shoving sugar down their kid's throats, this week. No, instead two of the mothers were relying on supernatural means to make their child be Ultimate Grand Supreme.

Okay, cue up The Ghostbuster's theme:

If there's something strange in your neighborhood.

Who ya gonna call? Call Ashley!

If there's something strange and it don't look good.

Who ya gonna call? Call Ashley.

She aint afraid of no ghost.

No, in fact after Ava wins she thinks it's because of her ghost busting and channeling. Ashley's extracurricular activities seems to be rubbing off on young Ava, age 3, as at one point she declares that she's a vampire.

Katlyn, age 4, mother is relying on a much higher than a bunch of ghosts floating around the judges heads and using their powers to whisper Ava in the judge's ears so they vote for her. Kymberli believes in winning through continuous prayer, as well as the loud ringing of the cowbell.

The last child and mother are Ruby and Iyslah, age 7. This is their first glitz patient. They kind of fade into the background when next to Ghostbuster Mom and Jesus Take The Wheel Mom.

Also standing out was one of the more memorable pageant directors, Miss Anita Hill. This woman just LOVES what she does. She's her own best cheering section. Seriously, this woman is a real trip. This time Miss Ultimate Grand Supreme wins a trip to Space Camp as well as $1,000.

Anita's run down of the contestants was a hoot, as well, especially what she had to say about Miss Ava. She describes Ava as a heavy-hitter. Apparently, Ava is the only contestant in the 3 year old group. Anita clams when they all heard Ava was in the contest they dropped out for fear of her. Maybe it's the vampire thing.

Anita says this is Iyslah's first glitz pageant and she's a newcomer.

Finally, Anita says she just LOVES Katlyn's family. That Kaylyn is very well known. I wonder if it's really her family that's well known. Anita says the family is always praying. She's not whistling Dixie on that.

First up was Facial Beauty, although the judges seemed to be judging more on what the girls were wearing and taking off points if they found it wanting. One judge was all dressed up in some costume so he looked like the Mad Hatter, although last I heard the Mad Hatter wasn't a space character. He didn't think Ava's Asian-style dress had enough beads on it. Isylah's skirt was too fluffy so off went the points. And the ruckus Kymberli and Nene and their loud ringing of cowbells in the audience was described as aggressive and alarming and Katlyn may have gotten points knocked off her for that.

Ava threw a fit before going on stage because she wanted her Daddy. But once she's on stage you wouldn't have known she was screaming and crying a few moments before. Ashley thought by going in a different direction and putting Ava in an Asian-style dress would make her stand out more, and she was completely unaware the judges found it wanting for not having enough glitz on it.

Next up was Space Wear. Ava was dressed as Buzz Lightyear. Dad Mark hopes she gets a supreme title. She didn't throw a fit before going on stage, this time, because before she went on stage Dad Mark was holding her. The judges wonder if maybe Ava needs a more simpler routine, as Mom Ashley is in the audience showing Ava everything she needs to do in the routine.

Katlyn was dressed up as Jane Jetson complete with an orange wig. It was Katlyn that threw a fit before going on stage, this time. It was time for more prayer as the little girl started screaming. Like Ashley, Kymberli was in the audience mimicking everything Katlyn needed to do in her routine. Then Kymberli starts praying the wig will stay on as she does a tricky part of her routine that the wig kept coming off in when they practiced before going on stage. Her prayers are answered and the wig stays on.

The catty judge is back making catty remarks declaring the dress looks bought off the rack. No stones. Could have been better.

I'm not sure what Iyslah was dressed as but part of the costume was making her top fall down, so it had to be removed before she went on stage. Once again the catty judge made catty remarks. While the outfit was unique, brighter colors would have been better. Thankfully the top stayed up

Iyslah believes she blew everyone away on stage. It isn't long before she finds out how wrong her assessment was. She doesn't get pulled for a supreme title and only wins a 1st Runner Up Princess. Iyslah says she did the best she could and mother doesn't understand it. Iyslah vows she will never do another glitz pageant again.

Out comes the cowbells and prayers as Kymberli and NeNe find out if Katlyn pulled for a higher title. She does. She wins one of the three Grand Supreme titles. Katlyn wanted to win Ultimate. Kymberli said when Katlyn won her Grand Supreme title she wanted to run up on stage and smell herself. I have no idea what she means about that. I don't want to even think of just what part of herself she wanted to smell.

Ashley is totally gobsmacked when Ava wins Ultimate Grand Supreme. Ava wasn't brought on stage because she was the one 3 year old in the 3 year old category and she'd pulled for a higher title. So Ashley thought her ghosts had let her down and Ava hadn't won anything. Because Ava won it all, Ashley believes her ghost hunting and channeling paid off.

Kymberli makes another of her bizarre statements declaring when Katlyn on stage she wanted to lay hands on her. I wasn't sure if she meant she wanted to smack her or heal her.

The best part of the episode had to be when the three featured moms were being interviewed and Jesus Take The Wheel and Ghostbuster were thanking their various super powers for the prizes their kids won. The look on kymberli's face when she heard Ashley going on about ghosts was priceless.


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