Toddlers And Tiaras -- The Universal Christmas Pageant

I haven't seen an episode of this show since the kiddie doing the Grease number that was fake smoking a fake cigarette. I thought maybe the show went too far that time and got yanked. Anyway, it's back for a Christmas special before the new season premieres.

In this episode it was a contest to see who was the most outrageous: Ava the uber-brat who even the judges noticed was a spoiled rotten brat or Hailey's father, Christopher, who just couldn't seem to get it that Hailey just wasn't that into it.

This pageant takes place in Texas and Annette Hill is the pageant director. If you've seen this woman before she's quite the trip. Psycho Pageant Dad, Christopher, actually takes Annette on and actually wins. I bet she's hoping his daughter is never a contestant in another one of her pageants.

Katlyn 3 seems to be upholding the tradition of the females participating in these kiddie pageants whether she wants to or not. Her mother Kymberli claims both she and her mama were also competed in pageants. Compared to Ava, Katlyn is a walk in the park. That is until it comes to trying on her dress. The girls screams and cries as Kymberli forces her to put it on.

As I said, Ava 3, is an uber-brat. She has to be bribed to do anything. I wondered why Annette said she had no personality on stage and then I saw her on stage. Kid just stood there doing nothing. That was, until, Daddy tried to get her to go off the stage a different way then she wanted to go and then she showed the judges what a rotten little brat she truly is. She only wins a princess title and when her brother says she didn't win the big title, bratty Ava starts hitting everyone. I wouldn't like to see this brat in a few years time. After the pageant is over, Ava's mother says she's taking a break from pageants for a bit. Good idea. Maybe she could spend the time trying to nip Ava's brattiness in the bud.

Kymberli wants Katlyn to have this fancy snow globe in her stage act, so what does she do? She and her husband steal some gold ribbon and ornaments off of the hotel's Christmas tree, apparently. Katlyn rakes in quite a few titles and Kymberli declares the next stop for Katlyn is Hollywood.

Christopher claims he only wants Hailey to do pageants to overcome her shyness. He spends $5,000 on a dress for her to wear. It's really beautiful. Unfortunately, the girl competing against her wearing a cupcake dress gets an award for her dress, which really ticks of Christopher. When Hailey learns how much her father paid for the dress, she says if she had that kind of money she'd use it for college. He keeps trying to get Hailey excited as he is about the pageant, but it just isn't her thing. She seems to be just catering to his wants by being in this pageant.

Things take a bad turn when the make-up and hair people the pageant provided for Hailey make her late. Christopher looks like he's about to blow a gasket when he hears points will be deducted from Hailey's score. He takes on Annette and blames her people for Hailey being late to appear on stage and she backs down and says no points will be taken off Hailey's score.

It kind of doesn't matter. While she does great in the beauty portion, in that talent portion she sinks like the Titanic. She sings and she can't sing. She also just stands there and does nothing, except an award attempt at the splits at the end of her song. She only gets a princess title and vows she's never doing this again. However, Christopher declares Hailey is emotionally unstable at the moment and doesn't know what she's saying. In short, Hailey hasn't heard the last about being in another pageant, poor kid.

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