Too Much Sopranos TV

A Real Life Soprano Family

My new son in law at the time had no clue what kind of family he was marrying into. He grew up and was raised in the country. A good ole southern boy. He was plenty polite, quiet and thoughtful. He never raised his voice, always thought before he spoke, is extremely intelligent and mild mannered. He recently graduated with a bachelors in business admnistration.

He had met us, his future bride's parents a couple of times and was immediately fascinated with the whole bail bond as a Career family business we operate. He compared us to the Sopranos and although he did watch it religiously from then on he never missed an episode. He claims it helped him understand us, our thought process and helped him better acclimate himself to our culture. We are not Italian, but whatever. I can see the confusion, we might be a little overbearing and demanding, maybe even obnoxious at times but we can't change who we are. Maybe Italians and Hispanics have some similarities. When you are in the jungle, its hard to see the trees. Both cultures tend to be loud, we talk with our hands, we drink in excess, and we love tons of food and BIG gatherings.

We, the family, hosted their bridal shower at our house. We invited their friends from the area, some from afar but mostly we invited our own friends because that's how we do it. Our whole family has to come to everything from a simple backyard barbeque to an out-of-state wedding. We contracted two separate bands, one steel band and reggae music for the day entertainment, and an awesome Latin DJ/ solo singer with only his voice and an electric organ for the nighttime festivities. We've used him before and know he really puts on a show and can play anything from Elvis, to Latin music to Frank Sinatra. We love the man.

We are having a good time eating, dancing, drinking, socializing. Everything expected from a great party - including the cousins showing off and doing tequila rose shots at the bar. If you've ever seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding where they are all taking shots and yelling Oopa then imagine the same without the chant. Cousins will be cousins and maybe it's a sort of initiation of new men into the family but they always try to outdo each other in the drinking department. That is how they show how much tolerance for alcohol they have and prove their machismo. I know it's not the best of games or ritual but if it calms you it's only for what we consider special occasions. Except we have alot of those!

Of course, they end up targeting the soon to be groom. Our country boy has had his share of beer but wasn't quite prepared for what these family animals were soon to become accomplices to. Getting him ridiculously drunk! I'm not sure how many drinks, shots, or mixes were involved but the result was pretty evident. Our soon to be groom and son-in law was pretty toasted.

I heard the story from my daughter the next morning as I brewed my coffee. I had gone to bed early and left the party around 1am while still in full swing. I'm in my house and really too old to care. They all know to do their share of picking up before they leave or there will be hell to pay the following day. Years of hosting lets me get away with this.

My daughter continues her story. Sometime around 2:30am she decides to go to bed in her old childhood bedroom. When she walks in she finds her fiancé standing at the foot of the bed dazed and confused. She smells vomit and stares him down. She looks at him accusingly. There is vomit on the comforter towards the edge of the bed where he is standing and on the floor. Defensively, he looks for words to try to explain it wasn't him. She can see he's had more to drink than he's accustomed to but she tells him how disappointed she is that in her own parents house he could behave like this. He tries for a logical argument and reassures her that he loves her, he would not lie to her, they are about to get married in less than a couple months and she needs to trust him. He again says it wasn't him. She looks at his collar shirt , points at the puke and asks "and what is THAT? " and his response is classic, "They puked on ME!" Meaning the cousins. HaHa, I couldn't contain my laughter.

Poor guy, needless to say they got into an argument where he supposedly left the room to shower and get cleaned up. Shortly after, she found him passed out half naked outdoors with his face in the mulch. Good thing the temperatures are mild in Florida!

Yes, they did get married. No, he no longer verbally spars with the cousins about who can drink more, he sticks to beer, and is happy learning the bail bond business as a career. We win, we dragged him in!

 

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Comments 6 comments

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

At least the poor guy learned the lesson with just one experience. There are those that would keep trying to outdo the family. He must be a pretty good guy. Great story.


Bail Up ! profile image

Bail Up ! 6 years ago Author

pamela99

You are right on both counts. He learns quickly and is a great guy. Thanks for stopping by, I always appreciate you.


Mr. Happy profile image

Mr. Happy 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

lol That's a funny story. And yes Italians, Portugese, Romanians, Hispanics, French ... we're all Latino. We have love for Life, music, food and it's all about la familia!

Cheers!


Bail Up ! profile image

Bail Up ! 5 years ago Author

Mr. Happy

When all is said and done, the familia is all we have. Enjoy your holidays, Cheers!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

Great story that I thoroughly enjoyed reading. The fella got more than he bargained for but that's OK. He is learning. Thanks for the good read. :)


Bail Up ! profile image

Bail Up ! 5 years ago Author

James A Watkins

My son in law is a quick study. He better be to keep up with this nutty family. I'm so glad you stopped by and thrilled that you enjoyed this story. You my friend, make me smile just passing through.

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