Top 5 Sexiest American Men

It all started with the Top 5 Sexiest Englishmen, an article in which I essentially dissed all American men. In case you missed it, I pretty much labeled them as emotionally stunted in comparison to their English counterparts. It was, perhaps, a bit unfair; I do find a select few to be extremely hot and sexy.

But this isn't just a contest of looks, the way these lists always turn out to be.

To get on this list, you have to actually be able to convey intelligence and character. And, of course, it helps to be yummy, which all of these men happen to be. If you find yourself in disagreement with any of my choices, get hold of the movies that put them on this list and you'll understand why they are here.

George Clooney

No surprise here, I'm sure. He's come a long way from his Facts of Life days, indeed. The man only gets better looking with age. And, while I think it's true he's starting to resemble Cary Grant (I hope you people realize Cary was an Englishman!), I think he may have actually surpassed him in the dapper department. That gray is so damned sexy it's ridiculous, and when he turns his head and smiles that slick little grin -- combined with just a dash of cocksure -- ooh, la, la, y'all. Gimme some some!

Denzel Washington

You hear black women talk about strong black men... is there a man who epitomizes the words 'strong' and 'man' quite like Denzel does? Show me a white man who even comes close to the character and sex appeal this brother exudes. Hot damn, hot damn, hot damn. He's a great actor, to be sure, but honestly I'm usually too busy drooling to think about it...

...that, and I'm usually on the edge of my seat just waiting for a glimpse of that amazing smile. Did y'all know Denzel turned down a love scene with Julia Roberts, because he didn't want to upset his core fans, i.e. black women? I bet Julia still mopes whenever someone reminds her about it. I know I would.

Edward Norton

Yeah, I know, you're surprised. Look, let me be straight -- I always thought ol' Ed was a bit geeky, myself. I thought he was a brilliant actor, to be sure. But geeky. Until I saw The Painted Veil. Holy. Jesus. If that movie doesn't have one of the best, most passionate, most please-ravish-ME-next kisses, I don't know what does.

The way he storms through the door, grabs Naomi Watts and has his sexy way with her.... yes, Lord, summa that. Please. If you missed that film, the scene in The Illusionist, where he grabs Jessica Biel and pushes her against the wall before he starts kissing her.. Oh... My... Goodness.. It's not really hard to guess what Salma Hayek saw in this man, is it?

Joaquin Phoenix

Possibly another surprise, possibly not, as Joaquin does have quite a few fan listings out there. He's not the strong, confident super-smart type who I'm prone to lust for... in fact, he's alleged to be rather neurotic and hypersensitive. But he's really a brilliant actor, which, in my opinion, he proves best in Signs. His performance in that was so seamless, I think he was better than anyone else.

Ok, apart from the little girl whom we all "Awww'd" over.

But, if you've ever seen this boy's eyes.. even in photos.. he conveys this amazing inner emotion that I cannot describe. And I'm guessing he's fab in bed, cos his scenes with Kate Winslet in Quills were pretty hot, even though.. well.. you'd have to see it to know what I'm talking about. I love you Joaquin, don't pay no mind to the people who talk junk about you!

Jon Stewart

Is this a surprise? Probably. I've no doubt tons of women find him sexy, but he's not generally considered a sex symbol. Personally, I've had the hots for him since his MTV show back in 1993.

He's always been gorgeous, he's always been smart as hell, and he's always had that demeanor that just makes you want to kiss him all over. I'm glad he's finally gotten the recognition he deserves, it's just a shame it took so damned long. Buy his book, it's great.

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