ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Totally Wrecked From Having a Ball

Updated on August 10, 2022
MFB III profile image

Artist, actor, poet, teacher, songwriter & actor with 4,000 poems & almost 1,000 songs written, performed recorded & published on line.

One never knows where they'll wind up when they are drunl

Too much booze and you lose all sense of your surroundings

Totally wrecked from having a ball.



We both tumbled home

like two huge, wrecking balls

let loose on a swinging chain

of fools drunkenly woven .

We couldn't in any way

drive and there wasn't any taxi

that would pick up such

a sotted pair without barf bags

in his backseat which we

would probably miss anyway.

We had been soundly bounced

out by the door guard due to

the volume of our voices and

the staggering we did

into other folks tables.

We were spilling drinks

everywhere on our zig-zag

paths to the men's room.

needless to say we were

no longer welcome among

all of those patrons.

I watered several trees


and then set off several

way too, sensitive car alarms

and kissed a beagle on the loose.

He howled rather loudly

at my over affectionate act

and my buddy and I joined in.

at least until seven porch lights

lit up the night and we

beat feet out of there.

Soon enough I stumbled

over the vert welcomed

door mat which turned out

to be my girlfriend,

who had left the bar two

hours before we did.

She was passed out cold,

on my front step and

she was quite lovely in repose.

We picked her up and fumbled

with the uneeded, key ring,

and then staggered in a trio

through the door, which surprisingly

enough had been left opened?

I got her to the couch which

was designer, but the room

was very dark so who would know,

and then I bumbled over

to a wide recliner

and went comatose

My buddy wound up somewhere

on the floor, hell I don't know?

We woke up the next morn to

someone screaming,

the shrillness of it still

echoes in my ears.


Like ten cats run over

by a steamroller.

I wasn't far off in my analogy .

A panicked, fat lady

in curlers and freshly installed

hearing aids, after she had

awakened from her not so

beautiful sleep, found us

three strange folks sprawled

in her living room..

She then grabbed a skillet from

her kitchen and she

was looking to

get us even more

woozy in our heads

then the night before.

We booked out the back door,

this time not stumbling,

even though our apologies did.

The townhouses we lived in

were quite a bit alike, so much

so that my girl, my friend, and I

each confused them, and almost

got hauled in for a B.+ E.


We all had a few laughs about it

later over the hair of

the dog that bit us.

So now I've put a sign up on my

doorway that says,

"If you can read this,

you are home."

cause Saturday's my only

night for drinking and carousing.

This way my neighbors can all sleep

in peace, and I'll stay hungover

my own damned commode.

© 2009 Matthew Frederick Blowers III

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)