Tough Love ep 4

 

Welcome to the redemption episode of Taylor-the-tranny mess! Why is she becoming my favorite? I'm sure she'll find some way to annoy me...like with her array of terrible hairdos. Sadly, she has potential to win the Most Improved Award. Even with that, I don't think she deserved a towel hug from Arian. That's just punishment.

Stasha is European? That's crazy! I hadn't noticed. She hates American football because she doesn't understand it. Her European brain can't comprehend what the dullest bulbs in America play every day? I'm glad she cleared all of that up for me. My life has been enriched. I like that Steve calls her The Iron Curtain. I'm ashamed I didn't think of that first. She feels like her heart isn't in it because she rejects everything going on around her. She's got an Iron Heart. Not nearly as clever. Sigh.

Unfortunately, Stasha wasn't the only fool on the field. Abiola didn't know what tackling was. That doesn't make any sense. I'm surprised they didn't pop any boobies during that game. There was more cleavage flapping in the wind than on a Cougars' Night Out.

Poor sexually-frustrated Jessa. She just wanted to make a CONNECTION (wink, wink) with Ryan before showing him the door. What a waste of his hotness.

Did VH1 hand the guys gifts before walking in? There's no way they found that many considerate menz. I'm jealous.

Oh Arian. How interesting does she think her boobs are that she brings them up in every conversation she has with strangers? At one point, it was like she was doing weird magic tricks with them in an attempt to mystify Paul into a dark alley. Arian uses her boobs like perverts use candy; only instead of a white van she lures them into public bathrooms. Always a class act. I'm glad to see that even Taylor thinks that a special handshake under the table is skankalicious.

Stasha guessed that Harry Potter wrote The Shining? Wow. I quietly pray that was a result of editing, not her cluelessness.

Brock is an athlete, so bowling is a logical date. Even though bowlers are generally overweight middle-aged men who drink a lot of beer. I guess that's why Jacklyn, the sober itty-bitty blonde, kicked his butt. Hey, I'm just following the insane logic already laid out. Jacklyn said, "It really touched me when he started playing with the little girl." I only put this in here because the idiot boys I watched this with took that the wrong way and laughed. This is what I deal with everyday.

I wish Jessa wouldn't use the word "conservative" when she really means "prude." I also don't understand why she was trying to judge white-boy Ryan on his dancing skills. There's something off about that to me.

Speaking of bizarre, I did not understand the throw down between Jody and Shane. Jody just wants to be combative, but Shane was completely clueless about how offensive he was being. On what planet is it a good idea to suggest that your date sign up for Match.com? It's also never good to continue on the same topic after your date starts crying. The real question is, can two socially-handicapped people have a successful relationship? They were fighting like a couple on the verge of a divorce, and they've only been on like 2.5 dates!

These matches went south left and right. Jessa cried because Ryan isn't the one. Jody cried because she's a freak. Make or break is right. BREAK!

I love a good meltdown, so it was pretty exciting to see Jody freak out about a cigarette. The evolution of Taylor continued as she turned into Jody's BFF/grief counselor, while the other girls just stood in the kitchen and talked about how tough Jody's life is. That's helpful. Jody said she gave the date her "college all"...what does that even mean? I liked that they brought Steve's mom in to talk to Jody since they're the same age.

I hope Steve brings Stasha's secret lover in. I'm fascinated that he doesn't fit her physical criteria, but he has a great personality (in her opinion). The possibilities are endless!

While I agree that Taylor did the best, I'd say the last thing she needs is a trophy. That's like rewarding Abiola with a new tiara. I wonder if her love letter to Jody was unprompted. Steve's hatred for her melted in one short week. Maybe they'll end up together. Hee hee!

Hot-Mess Arian is queen of the self-sabotage. There's no reason to say "I suck a mean pee pee," unless you're in a brothel and trying to drum up new business. She doesn't understand the line between sexy and slutty. Why did she think everything was so funny? No one was laughing, and it was really uncomfortable. I had a feeling she'd be the one to tear up the set Vanilla-Ice style. Steve was only trying to warn her about her actions because she is on the path to have something absolutely horrible happen to her, and nobody wants that. TO BE CONTINUED!

This show just gets better and better.

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