UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN FIRE SALE

Unlucky Fried Kitten

A fire sale is the sale of goods at extremely discounted prices, typically when the seller faces bankruptcy or other impending distress. The term originated in reference to the sale of goods at a heavy discount due to fire damage. A fire sale may or
A fire sale is the sale of goods at extremely discounted prices, typically when the seller faces bankruptcy or other impending distress. The term originated in reference to the sale of goods at a heavy discount due to fire damage. A fire sale may or

The Full Dress Fire Sale

Thank you very much for popping in to look at this UFK FIRESALE blog.

It is a highly ambitious...and dangerously close to surreal...set of proposals and offerings....more than likely prone to epic failure...but...I've always adhered to the motto:

THINK LIKE A GENERAL AND YOU WILL BE A GENERAL

SO....I'll let you get on...but first I'll give you the twiddly bit of third-person explanation...to set the scene...then...when you've finished smiling in disbelief...I'll revert to my ethically dependable role of

USED STAR SALESMAN

(come and buy my ploys)


Here it comes...the ugly...but necessary.... third-person section


Since the tragic death of bass player Mickey Apples in 2006 at age 27 and the very sad demise of Keyboardist Rio Fraser in 2011 at age 37.....surviving Unlucky Fried Kitten founder member Andy Fraser....singer songwriter guitarist...has decided to bring the UFK band to a natural end and to move to another continent to see out the remainder of his days in isolation. To this effect he has decided to conduct a UFK FIRESALE of all UFK songs, stories, musicals and novels...which...at time of writing....are his sole intellectual property.
Andy has tried for just over a year...since the passing of his wife Rio...to lead what he deems to be a normal life but has found many obstacles to be in the way of his pursuit of what he sees should be the perfect and profound happiness and contentment to guide him through the relatively short remaining years of his life. The pathway along which Andy will find his own enlightenment will lead to his own self-imposed solitary confinement within the comfort of his own settled mind. It is not religion. It is not self-punishment. It is not an impetuosity. It is the pursuit of a freedom within.
Unlucky Fried Kitten are presently still playing live (as of 2011/2012) with Andy on vocals and lifelong friend, Nick Hughes, on guitar. They will continue until the UFK FIRESALE has found some buyers.
Regular personal domestic material property is being sold by online auction with all funds going towards the transition to isolation. All UFK intellectual property is being put up for grabs on THIS site. Please have a look through....publishers, writers, screenwriters, producers, media entrepreneurs and creative impresarios...because there is something there for everyone. Prices and percentages are slashed like a cloth sliced by a cutlass....way way below the industry standards. Some of the deals are inter-crossed....and first bids are acknowledged and hopefully accepted...which will effectively negate any crossover packages.
But don't let me confuse the issue. Please take a look at what's on the table. Cheers....and kind regards
Andy Fraser (aka Andy Export)

Source

ALL ITEMS ARE COPYRIGHT (a fraser)

The Guild of International Songwriters and Composers.

All of my work is copyrighted through the above Guild. Here's a point of advice from them:

Music publishers’ contracts will state a split percentage deal but you are advised not to accept less than 50% on your behalf. Terms are negotiable, i.e. 60/40, 70/30 in your favour.

You'll see that I am willing to accept a lower percentage....to myself...because it IS a fire sale...and I am anxious to start with my new life.

Take the musicals on a 'Cinderella basis' or on an ongoing 'work in progress. basis'

My advice to all other writers is to get your material copyrighted....because although....fortunately...copyright infringements are quite rare...they do happen at all levels within the music industry. Care to safeguard and register your copyright is essential.

Fire Sale Items

Here we go then....have a read through what's on offer. All deals are flexible. There are 'outright buys' and 'percentage royalty deals' but there's always a mixed option.

All enquiries please e-mail to:

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

Thank you

Unlucky Fried Kitten
Unlucky Fried Kitten | Source

Final Outline

Unlucky Fried Kitten are starting the new year of 2012 with a FIRESALE of goods and of musical and lyrical items...due to extraneous circumstances and unparallelled shifts in the UFK template. Some items will be placed on e-bay and browsers on e-bay will be advised to check this blog for more bargains.
Unlucky Fried Kitten were formed by Andy Export in 1995...and to date have over 5,000 songs written (lots of those already recorded) and they also have many musicals completed. One of those musicals is called 'The Astonishing Tale of Archibald's Reaction to the Demise of Amy Winehouse' This is going to be the first item placed on e-bay....with a starting-price for the rights to the musical yet to be decided. Some of the songs have been recorded...and one of them has had over 2,500 views on youtube in just under two weeks. More on that soon. I'll explain more as I add to this...and I will start listing the bargains up for sale in the UFK FIRESALE of 2012

Source

The Astonishing Tale of Archibald's Reaction to the Death of Amy Winehouse. (musical)

Music and lyric is complete to this musical which...as the title betrays...follows the story of a fan's reaction to Amy's tragic demise. Rough demos have been recorded for some of the songs within this musical....one of which received 2000 hits in it's first week of upload to YouTube. The tale portrays the angst of fan...Archibald...who then turns his attention to Alice Glass (Crystal Castles) and then switches his focus to Florence Welch (Florence + the Machine)
(examples of songs below)
Price for assignment of copyright depends on buyer's intention.

Buy the total rights and do what you will with the songs...or fund the production of said musical...with full collaboration from the writer.

3 SAMPLE SONGS

1. ALICE GLASS...SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND

2. RAGE AGAINST FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE

3. THE HORROR AT THE BELVEDERE HOTEL

Please note that these are rough demos recorded to show the style of the songs.

I have never claimed to be a singer...in the decent conventional sense...which is why I very seldom do covers, never do karaoke and would never go on X-Factor or Britain's Got Talent.

Alice Glass (song)

Florence Welch (song)

The Horror at the Belvedere Hotel

Please read the unexpurgated lyric to the musical below...if you're interested

£3000 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour

PLEASE NOTE.....THIS IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE ITEM ON HERE....PRICES GET VERY MUCH LOWER....DON'T BE PUT OFF

Half of MY fees goes to The Amy Winehouse Foundation

Next up is another musical called The Robot's Revenge (I'll list something else next...won't bombard you with all the musicals at once)

The Robot's Revenge (musical)
10 song musical...all songs written and rough demos recorded. Signature song (demo) has had over 20,000 YouTube views. Offered as a package with full copyright assignment...or at a reduced rate of percentages with view to an aligned production with the writer. The market potential is valid...with sites like robot.net having shown great interest and providing a rich vein from which to tap from. Conventional commercial and fantasy sci-fi appeal with marketable characters....ideal for the tv light entertainment mini-drama children's cartoon market.

Buy the total rights and do what you will with the songs...or fund the production of said musical...with full collaboration from the writer.

Sample song I Am A Robot

£2225 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 75/25 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

FIFTEEN SHORT STORIES FOR SQUIRRELS

FIFTEEN SHORT STORIES FOR SQUIRRELS
A musical written in 1973. The writer (that is me) buried the whole collection of stories in a field in Brenchley, Kent, UK in 1974. Went back in 2004... To dig it all up. Apart from the fact it would maybe have deteriorated over the years....the housing estate that had been built upon the location kinda thwarted all attempts to recover said item. The writer decided that the residents of the houses on the site would not appreciate him slashing a knife across their Axminster and boring into their lounge floor...just to retrieve the 15-song saga.
It was rewritten...from indomitable memory...in 2009.
15 songs....a musical.
All rights assigned for £652

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

Burial Ground Lane (musical)

Okay....one more musical then I'll change the tone :)

Burial Ground Lane (musical)
This 11-song musical tells the tale of a group of children on a ghost-hunting expedition. All songs (with music and lyric) are written...and recorded as rough demos.
(examples of songs below)
Some of these songs have tremendous commercial value....and have had fantastic response since being uploaded to YouTube. This musical is ideal for an independent production to take on....to turn into a cartoon....and to sell on to the tv and satellite networks. Add to that the marketing scope for some of the characters embedded within the quasi-macabre fairytale and you can see it is money well-spent. You can secure the total rights for a one-off reasonable payment...or you can negotiate a percentage fee at way below the market price. Buy the whole package for a reasonable fee...or offer a nominal fee with the proviso that you work with the writer (Andy Fraser) to bring it into production.
Buy the total rights and do what you will with the songs...or fund the production of said musical...with full collaboration from the writer.

Songs

WE ARE THE MEECES

BE GOOD TO YOUR FRIENDS

BIZARRE CREATURE

I AM A SPIDER

THE HAUNTED HOUSE

THE MUSEUM

THE CREEPY GARDEN

VAMPIRES AND SKELETONS

THE GHOST TRAIN

THE WITCH

SCREAM

3 SAMPLE SONGS

1.Bizarre Creature

2. We Are The Meeces

3. The Creepy Garden

Please note that these are rough demos recorded to show the style of the songs.

£1000 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 63/37 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

Vox White Shadow

I bought this almost 35 years ago....I was a teenager....I never thought I would EVER sell this....but....when you've said goodbye to the most important thing in your life...saying goodbye to a guitar is easy.

3,342 UFK songs were written on this guitar. (the rest were written on keyboards...except for 14 which were written with a Harmonica and 3 which were written with a Kazoo) This VOX WHITE SHADOW is collectable.(as a museum-piece on it's own)

It has had 36 complete string-changes. Top E has been replaced 17 times superfluously to that....B has been changed 12 times....both excluding the complete changes. It's not been gigged much...cos I tend to have guitarists in my bands...so I can get on with the 'fucking about with a microphone on stage' syndrome. (though Citizen Chris used it regularly in our Indo-European Rock Band DEATH IN VENICE)

I'll shake on £450....no offers....tahaaaa

VOX WHITE SHADOW...UFK GUITAR...VINTAGE VOX

OH...AND IT COMES IN THE ORIGINAL VOX GUITAR CASE

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

UFK SONG SERVICE

Unlucky Fried Kitten Hassle-Free Songwriting Service
Modern life demands a modern approach to song-writing
With today's busy life-styles you need a song for your artiste that not only sounds good...but is delivered promptly and enthusiastically and performs under the most arduous tasks of celebrity.
Ufk are writing songs with this in mind every day...making life easier for singers, managers, producers and record companies everywhere.
Manufactured using specially developed high-quality words...UFK songs are vibrant and luxurious...but completely practical in terms of durability and universal appeal
Buy some if the old songs...over 5000 to choose from....or commission new ones on any given subject.

Lots of UFK songs start with a drumbeat
Lots of UFK songs start with a drumbeat | Source

UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN GODHEAD

UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN GODHEAD
This UFK piece has been used in live work...but it was also the inspiration for the UFK musical 'I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE...EVER...BUT I WOULD NEVER WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME AS MUCH AS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU'
36 cm tall. 15cm wide
Weighs 2kg....which is about the weight of 2 bags of sugar....or approximately 13 adult male Golden Syrian hamsters.
£6
Buyer collects

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

ITALIX THE SCRUFFY DUCK (a UFK Novel)

ITALIX THE SCRUFFY DUCK
Italix the Scruffy Duck is a novel with title protagonist being Italix, a super-natural-hero, who travels back and forth in time to assist and rescue people in situations of peril. There are songs and poems within the novel. Each chapter is a new tale which sees her on a new mission to save someone or some people. In each chapter she uses her iPhone to show her subject photos and videos of their future life should they decide to take her advice and live on. This is primed for cartoon-musical production....with heavy stress on music and technology. Apple Inc are aware of the tales and there is scope for the right person....with influence and keen negotiating skills...to strike a deal...possibly a sponsorship deal with Apple Inc.
Here are two sample chapters.
The writer (that'll be me then) will happily revisit for a rewrite to make more use of the iPhone....should the Apple Inc deal come off.

price negotiable with other parties concerned for their featured contributions

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

I LOVE NOBODY (a tragedy)

This is the love story that goes wrong more than any love story in the the history of time itself.

A 5-song mini-musical about a man who fell in love with the wrong person and was so blinded by love that he could not see how he was being made a fool of. He wanted to die....but he just couldn't bring himself to commit the final act...due to a double-edged sword situation. Dying for her was pointless if she really didn't care for him. Living for her was futile....but he didn't want to leave her with the guilt if there was any chance that she did care. He chose to live on...in complete and utter sadness for the rest of his days.

Buy the rights to the musical for £500 on a 90/10 royalty basis...with the writer recording all the songs that the buyer funds

THE UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN SHOW

Simple really.....for a modest fee....say....about a HUNDRED POUNDS ....an Unlucky Fried Kitten Show will miraculously appear in your pub, club or party.

It's called gigging...and being paid for it.

Your PA....our show

Fee.....£100....or whatever else you want to give us (in excess of that well-rounded figure of a £100...obviously)

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

DEAD POP STARS (album)

DEAD POP STARS
Mickey Apples left Unlucky Fried Kitten briefly in 2005 to begin work on his planned Dead Pop Stars album...with songs written by UFK bandmate Andy. All songs were written...each one in tribute to a different dead pop star. Mickey passed away just as the recording was about to commence...so album is all ready to go...in tribute to Mickey.
Buy as publishing and royalty rights or buy the songs/album with all rights assigned for a set fee. Songs are as below...with tributee in brackets:

The Book That Broke My Heart (Kurt Cobain)


One Black Eye (Ian Dury)


The Elvis Elevator (Elvis Presley)


ICU (Ian Curtis)


The Girl With The Terracotta Eyes (Syd Barrett)


4 Real (Richey Manic)


Scintillate (Jimi Hendrix)


Star On The Radio (Ian Dury)

The Scream of a Broken Heart (Marc Bolan)

Don't Slice Me If I Hate My Dyslexic Wrists (Layne Staley)

Sorrow (Brian Pendleton...Pretty Things)

4 REAL (Richie Manic)

4 REAL ( a cover by a band called Clinker)

I decided to insert the above cover because it shows that the songs are versatile...and this band covered it...and made it sound better than I could. Nice one. It also shows the accompanying UFK film-set style

Star On The Radio (Ian Dury)

£1000 for all rights of the album...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the album...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

'I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE...EVER...BUT I WOULD NEVER WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME AS MUCH AS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU'

'I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE...EVER...BUT I WOULD NEVER WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME AS MUCH AS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU'
10 song musical about a punk girl called Emily who sells budgies from a tray on the streets of London. A dashing young skateboarder called Brian buys a budgie one day....it is love at first sight and he becomes a regular customer....buying 4 budgies a week (on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays)
They begin dating...but he will only see her on Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays. They are happy for a while but he never tells her why he buys the budgies and why he won't see her on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
Tired of the secrecy...and riddled with curiosity...she follows him one Monday evening after he has bought the budgie....and the dreadful truth comes out in an explosive ending worthy of any Shakespearean play

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

Mickey's Guitar

This is Mickey Apples' bass guitar...which is now in the UFK Dollshouse
This is Mickey Apples' bass guitar...which is now in the UFK Dollshouse | Source

Offers in the region of £300....can't take it with ya...can you? £300 is for the guitar

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

UFK GIG SETLIST SLAB

'Death In Venice' setlist. Hand-crafted on a beautiful hardwood slate. From the 1989 gig at the Trading Post in Maidstone.....also known as the Union Bar and Trader Jacks. This item is 29cm by 38 cm and it weighs approximately 1.5 kg.....which is about the weight of 42 budgies.
Death In Venice went on to be Unlucky Fried Kitten (mainly cos UFK looks better on a baseball cap than DIV)
Tracks on the setlist are:
MEECES
CHRISTINE KEELER
UNDERGROUND WORKER
THIS IS ENGLAND
REVENGE
PHYSICAL ( Adam and the ants cover)
LINDSAY STRANGE
MIRANDA SUNSET
TROOPING OF THE SQUALOR
WEATHER PERMITTING
MADE IN RUSSIA
Some of these songs are still performed by UFK today.
Can be displayed as an artefact or glossed over and used as a dinner-tray, a cat-food substantialist platter or a pot-plant flat-area receptacle.
£1.15....buyer collects.
*can also be used as a kitchen cupboard door....if you have a Roselodge fitted kitchen from 1987.
*please note...to clarify...the budgie weight is not referring to budgies in flight

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

THE TRAGEDIAN (script/novel)

Next up is a UFK novel...written in 1989/1990.

Grab yourself a coffee and have a skim through.

The Tragedian (script from a novel)
Publishing rights for the novel-nostalgia that sees the protagonist hit high and low points throughout with historical account of the late 80's/early 90's
The Tragedian features songs and poetry...all rights assigned to the buyer. ..and has been credited by some with having one of the most stark ends to a novel since Whatever To Baby Jane?.
It also remains to be seen if there has ever been another novel....fiction OR fantasy...to end with THAT word. All publishing and screenwriting rights will be handed over to the right buyer who will offer a fair price....for which they will own the rights to the sit-com and radio-play contained within the realm of the novel.
Offers open. Take the whole package for a decent fee...or work with the writer for a modest fee.

£1000 buys the complete novel....with the rights to all the songs and works within

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART (self help)

How To Mend A Broken Heart
10 song set of self-help songs to help towards the healing of a broken heart.
Can be used as self-help or made into a quirky mini-musical...with altruistic design.
Part written...with new songs in progress.


Sample songs below....some are affirmations :)


Buy the total rights and do what you will with the songs...or fund the production of said musical...with full collaboration from the writer.

HOW TO MEND A BROKEN HEART

Find yourself lots of things to do
Tell yourself you will see this through
Watch a movie, climb a tree
Have some fun and a cup of tea
Write a letter to the one that's gone
Tear it up, don't send it on
Call a friend, it's a perfect start
In how to mend a broken heart
Give your love tithe ones that care
Not the ones that strip you bare
Clean the house up, wash the floor
You're not a victim any more
Stay as busy as you can
Make some cakes with marzipan
Give yourself a fresh new start
How to mend a broken heart
Write a diary, immerse yourself
Pick a book from that dusty shelf
Lose your thoughts in a fantasy
It gets easier, you will see
Invite a friend round for some drinks
To watch a film so the boredom shrinks
All these little things play a part
In how to mend a broken heart
Go for runs or join a gym
Keeps you fit and keen and trim
A little exercise, you will find
Will also work wonders for the mind
Don't be bitter about the past
It didn't work so it didn't last
Hold your head high, that's a start
In how to mend a broken heart

GETTING OVER PAIN

Wake up in the morning
Tell yourself it's fine
This will be a great day
Living on Cloud Nine
Think of all the people
Who were hurting in the past
Remember how they moved on
It didn't really last
Focus on the positive
The things that made you smile
Those feelings will return soon
In a little while
Take a little time
To think of people who are strong
Friends who will support you
And have done all along
Hide away the photographs
That remind you of the pain
Think of all the good times
You will get them back again
Resist the urge to analyse
The reasons for your loss
Count to 10 and smile now
When you are feeling cross
Turn off all the bitterness
Where darkness only thrives
Think of all the worse things
In other people's lives
Take comfort in the knowledge
It gets easier each day
Nothing lasts forever
It will go away

HEAD FOR THE LIGHT

When you are lonely
Feeling the pain
Change your emotions
Be happy again
Push back the darkness
Head for the light
Think of the positive
Fight the good fight
Don't blame yourself
For all the things that went bad
Remember all the
Brilliant times that you had
Be productive
In all that you do
Stick together
With emotional glue

AFFIRMATION SONG 1

I am very happy with my situation
I am pleased to be happy in my new elation
I am happy to be free of all the bad frustration
I am happy to be me as I am now

Life is fun and I'm living with a new direction
I am working for success of my own selection
I am living with a happiness of great protection
I am lucky to be me as I am now

I am living with a vigour for the aspiration
It's a new kind of feeling it's a fascination
I am very very happy with the situation
I am happy to be me as I am now

AFFIRMATION SONG 2

Life for me is rosy
Life for me is cosy
Life is really falling into place
Life is filled with laughter
Happy ever after
Life has put a smile upon my face

Life is very giving
Life is for the living
Life has got me playing for today
Life is very easy
Life is very breezy
Life is just like living in a play

Life for me is happy
Life for me is snappy
Life for me is wonderful and kind
Life has got me writing
Life is so exciting
Life is putting pleasure in my mind

£1245 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

Loserville.com
'Unlucky Fried Kitten present Loserville.com' is the UFK concept album from the mid 2000's....centred on fictitious dating site of the same name.
You can buy the rights to the album AND the parallel musical..which will include the marketing rights on all the characters in the musical.
Tracks:
Loserville.com
I Am A Robot
Shooting Star
News of the World
The World's Gone Mad
Strange Summer
Ballerina
Baby Blue
This Is England
Loserville (acoustic)

£2000 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 65/35 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

UFK ADVERTISEMENTS

UFK ADVERTISEMENTS
Here we have a commission offer which sees UFK writing and recording the songs and jingles for your tv and satellite adverts and for your radio and Internet broadcasts.
It's very simple. You pay a one-off fee for your song....we'll record it...and the spoils will be yours...all yours.
Here are a few tasters of what UFK can do....but please bear in mind that these are guerrilla adverts...so not endorsed by the companies mentioned. (Liquid Polo....the new soft drink...does not even exist). ;-)
Liquid Polo
CarpetRight
The Fosters Meeces
SleepRight
Frightnight Cinema (this one is currently in use on the USA show)

LIQUID POLO

CARPETRIGHT ADVERT

* MANY APOLOGIES FOR THE VOCAL ON THIS* I had a serious throat infection when I recorded it....almost passed out a few times. As I explained earlier...all songs are demos

THE FOSTERS MEECES

ALL ART WORK ON THE ABOVE BY UFK....well....me

BEDS AT CARPETRIGHT

FRIGHT NIGHT CINEMA

Flat fee of £500 per song....no percentage...no royalties

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

The Saga of Sebastian Vocase & Valentina Morotova

The Saga of Sebastian Vocase & Valentina Morotova
This tale of the unlikely romance between scurrilous English rogue, Seb Vocase and stunningly beautiful Russian punk princess warbler, Valentina Morotova, has been called (by Los Angeles hack Taylor Reed) the greatest love story since Romeo & Juliet.
10 songs...some of which already made into demos and attracting high rate of views on YouTube

Made In Russia......2869 views
To Whom It May Concern.....600 views

Option to buy the musical complete with all rights for small negotiable fee...or to buy it in royaly percentage fee.

Potential to turn into film/animation/cartoon.

Buy the total rights and do what you will with the songs...or fund the production of said musical...with full collaboration from the writer.

MADE IN RUSSIA

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

*****WARNING**** THIS SONG DOES CONTAIN ONE VERY NAUGHTY WORD....SORRRY

£1000 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

A TALE OF LADY STARDUST

A Tale of Lady Stardust (musical)
The account of the life and death of my wonderful wife at the tender age of 37. Rio Fraser is a huge part of the story of Unlucky Fried Kitten.
Songs written and a selection made into demos
Fee negotiable and 50% of agreed fee to go directly to The Amy Winehouse Foundation
Buy the total rights and do what you will with the songs...or fund the production of said musical...with full collaboration from the writer.

RIO FRASER

Rio Fraser.....forever my inspiration...and the reason I just want to be alone in some remote place now xxx
Rio Fraser.....forever my inspiration...and the reason I just want to be alone in some remote place now xxx

This is the link to the whole tribute.

Please feel free to look through and find out why I have decided to go on with this wholesale change in my lifestyle. Writing this tribute for Rio was something I wanted to do for her...and it definitely helped me to deal with my own emotions at such a bad time in my life.

£2000 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour.

Half of MY fee goes to The Amy Winehouse Foundation

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

THE STORY OF GOGGLETON FARM

Here's another mini-musical....ideal for the children's market.

All songs are complete with lyric and melody and ready to be recorded

Buy outright or work with the writer on a percentage deal

Songs:

GOGGLETON FARM

THE NEIGHBOURHOOD STRAY

THE HUNGRY CATERPILLAR

GOGGLETON HORSE FAIR

SUGARLUMPS THE HORSE

KATE, THE FARMER'S DAUGHETR

THE FARMER'S DOG

and more

£500 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

KING OF THE STARS (mini-musical)

Another mini-musical....ideal for the children's market.

All songs are complete with lyric and melody and ready to be recorded

Buy outright or work with the writer on a percentage deal

Songs:

KING OF THE STARS

MY SPACECRAFT

THE MOONDOGS

THE ALIEN

WE ARE THE SPACECATS

I AM A SPACEMAN

JOURNEY TO THE MOON

THE ELECTRIC SHEEP

GIANTS FROM SPACE

WE ARE THE SPACECATS

KING OF THE STARS

£500 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

NOW THAT THE KIDS HAVE ALL GROWN UP

NOW THAT THE KIDS HAVE ALL GROWN UP (musical)
10-song musical-macabre about a family in the midst of a dark period in life. Daughter...Mary-Jane...has died in tragic circumstances....and comes back as a ghost....but can't find her way home...left to wander the streets of Gravesend in a bewilderment.

Sample Songs:

PIANO-LESSONS ARE CANCELLED FOR MARY-JANE
WELCOME TO GRAVESEND
NOW THAT THE KIDS HAVE ALL GROWN UP

Buy as a musical....all lyric and music assigned to buyer...or work with writer on production of musical


PIANO LESSONS ARE CANCELLED FOR MARY-JANE

WELCOME TO GRAVESEND

NOW THAT THE KIDS HAVE ALL GROWN UP

£500 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

GROSS ENCOUNTERS (sit-com musical)

Equal measures of comedy and pathos in this sit-com/musical about a couple that met on an unscrupulous dating site (hmmmm....a pattern is emerging here....lots of stuff based on dating sites and the like....I have never used one myself...honest Guv)

Sebastian (real name Trevor) meets Rula...and they move in together...in a tale of woeful abandonment of principles...and lots of fiery diabolistic scenes of carnage and outrage. A sit-com that makes Terry and June seem like....well...Terry and June.

10 songs....including main theme song FRIENDSHIPS AND INTRODUCTIONS.


Friendships and Introductions

Buy the whole musical....rights will be assigned to the buyer...OR fund the production of the musical with the writer....on a cool and generous percentage fee

£500 for all rights of the musical...with all the songs signed over....OR fund the production of the musical...working alongside the writer on a 60/40 percentage in YOUR favour

Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

THE HISTORY OF THE TOVIL TREACLE MINES

Up for grabs here is a musical written about the Tovil Treacle Mines Here's a little bit of history about the mines:

The Tovil Treacle Mines were the inspiration behind the Unlucky Fried Kitten song, "Shooting Star" which was the top-selling by-product of the treacle mines. The Shooting Star was made using the treacle exclusively mined at Tovil...giving it it's delicious syrupy taste.
"Unlucky Fried Kitten At Tovil Treacle Mines" can be seen on YouTube...with the "Shooting Star" song as accompaniment.


There is a Facebook Group for the Tovil Treacle Mines....from which the following information is gathered. Please enjoy reading about the history of this fascinating industry once set in the heart of rural Kent:

A historical reference to the days of the fully operational Tovil Treacle Mines set in the Loose Valley and Tovil region of Maidstone, Kent. The pinpoint location is actually Bockingford...a tiny settlement in the aforesaid region.
Tovil Treacle Mine once supplied treacle and liqorice to most of Kent's sweet manufacturers....and almost exclusively to Trebor Sharp's in the town. (now taken over by Cadburys)
I realise that this will be a seldom visited group because the Tovil Treacle Mine closed in the 1950's so it's not like there are hoardes of ex-employees raggling around on Facebook. However...if anyone has any memories of the old place please feel free to contribute. I do have some pictures..taken by my Grandfather, who sadly left us in the 70's. (he didn't die..he just left us) I shall put them on here when I locate them. I'll make some more posts in a short while...to tell you what I recall of the legendary Tovil Treacle Mines (stories passed on by my Grandfather and his cronies.

Wow...I just done some research and found that it didn't close in the 50's...it was, in fact, still going in the 70's...but only on a small scale. I remember it being operational...but I thought it had been taken over by a German firm. I'm pleased to say that I can remember it now. Incidentally...I also found...that the mines were closed throughout World War 2 for security reasons after the Luftwaffe were found to be using the vast "treacle fires" as navigational aid....very interesting.


I have uploaded a video shot in the beautiful Bockingford region.
The Tovil Treacle mines were here.
Bockingford is also known for it's water mills and for the production of very expensive artist paper.
In the video you can see the majestic Treacle Tower which still stands today. Hopefully it will remain there for a long while...but these things are never certain. The top of the tower was sealed off in the 1950's after 2 local youths fell to their death whilst trying to get some "treacle scrapings" from inside the rim of the tower. Some say the tower is haunted and that you can hear the lads' deathly wail if you press your ear firmly to the tower.

The Ice-Cold Oggie soft-drinks factory was situated fifty metres up the road on Teasaucer Hill. (metres were called yards in those days) Ice-Cold Oggies came in a variety of flavours including raspberry and lemon-lime and, of course, treacle

Although the Treacle Oggie was the most densely produced soft-drink at the Ice-Cold Oggie factory it was not considered to be the most delicious flavour. That mantle is bestowed upon the Barming Cherry flavour...made from cherries picked at arguably the UK's finest cherry-growing region of Barming, on the outskirts of Maidstone.
The factory founder-owner, Mr Harold "Slash" Wildly would make a twice-weekly trip to Barming on the trolley-bus which ended at the Barming Terminus and he would meet the local cherry-farmers in the Cherry Tree public house across the road....where they would thrash out their best prices for the world-famous Barming Cherries.
Back at Bockingford the valley was a favourite location of landscape artists....often seen capturing the idyllic rural scene of the streams and the mills...munching on a Shooting Star or a Treacle Tartello and guzzling on a Blackberry and Damson Ice-Cold Oggie.

An original Barming Cherry Ice-Cold Oggie sold on e-bay recently for £16,500...to a Japanese soft-drinks bottle collector


In the video you can see a row of cottages on the left-hand side. These were occupied by the managers and foremen of the Tovil Treacl Mines. Each dwelling had it's own Treacle Well in the back garden.


The Picnic Table was put in place to replace the Freddie Tubbs Oak Memorial Bench stolen in 1985. The bench was put in place as a tribute to Freddie who perished in the Tovil Treacle Mine Disaster of 1964. He saved the lives of many treacle workers and although he wasn't the sole casulty (twelve men died in the collapse of the Lower Bockingford Mine) he is certainly the most remembered.

Here's the Shooting Star Video

I'm looking for a sponsor to back the production of the musical.....to help bring the characters of the day back to life (not literally....that would be wrong) and the offer is then a 50/50 percentage deal on the royalties.


Please mail me on

ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

:-)

GUILD PROFILE

UNLUCKY FRIED KITTEN ARE FEATURED IN:

SONGWRITING AND COMPOSING- The Magazine for International Songwriters and Composers

!st Quarter 2012 (issued in February 2012) Hopefully it will raise the profile and make some of the items more desirable for your consumption.

Here's the scan of the article...and a better display of the words

Thank You

Source

ANDY FRASER (member profile) H024173)


Guild member Andy Fraser…who uses the stage name Andy Export…was born and raised in Maidstone and the surrounding areas in the heart of Kent. He began singing in local bands in his teens and early twenties. His various bands as a developing singer-songwriter in the 80’s included Basement Mania, The Hedgehogs, Death In Venice, Acceleration and The Martini Slutz…and his current band Unlucky Fried Kitten which he formed in 1995. Unlucky Fried Kitten albums to date are ‘Unlucky Fried Kitten Present Loserville.com’ ‘Strategies of the Subclass’ and ‘Wheeling The Old Metal Chair Towards Me’
UFK also feature on 3 compilation albums (ME1, ME2 and ME3...which are all releases from the music and art charity…Medway Eyes.
Andy plays currently as a nucleus of the band alongside guitarist and singer Nick Hughes and they play regularly around the South East of Kent…taking in Maidstone, Chatham, Rochester, Gillingham and further afield to Ashford, Canterbury and Folkestone.
Andy says ’We seem to be picking up a friendly little following…probably because we entertain with the audience in mind and are not averse to a little self-mocking. Because I have rather a tragically short attention span I was forever forgetting my lyrics…or singing them in the wrong order…so…rather than try to read the words in sneaking fashions of the clandestine from scraps of concealed paper…I developed a system whereby I hold up cue-cards in the form of cartoons I have drawn to illustrate the song. That way I remember all the words…and the audience are in on the act…with something colourful to entertain them should they find my singing repugnant. Usually…each card…about the size of a kitchen window…will represent one line in the song…then the card is tossed to the floor. It takes me ages to pick them up after the show…and a number of them always go missing…taken away as a trophy-piece…ha ha’

Andy met his American wife, Rio, through the MySpace Alternative Music Forums in 2006. Andy had just about given up on his band…but Rio…having heard his songs on the MySpace charts…encouraged him to give it another go…and she breathed life back into his song writing appetite. Rio left the heat waves of Los Angeles for the blustery streets of Maidstone in 2007...she joined Unlucky Fried Kitten and married Andy in 2008.

Andy and Rio wrote songs together and began to make lo-fi pop videos for their own songs…under the guise of Kartoonz R Us. They were soon making videos for a host of other bands including The Rubber Bubber Bears, Mack Daniels, Red Belgrade, I Am A Spider, Sammon, The Volume Brothers, Porlie Eidolon, Clinker and others. They also created The UFK Dollshouse…a small collective designed to promote local bands such as The Bolans, V2086, I Am A Spider, Faye McAdamy, I Am A Spider and The Cemetery Gaes.


Rio sadly passed away in November 2010 at the tender age of 37. An online tribute book…written by Andy and entitled ‘A Tale of Lady Stardust- Rio Fraser’ has been read by over 2000 people and Andy is currently writing a musical based on the book.

Andy says ‘Rio was an inspiring person to a lot of people…as can be seen in the intensely moving comments and accounts from others in her online story. As she passed over I held her hand and told her that I would make her as proud of me as I was of her…and keeping her memory alive with the book was the very least I could do for her. She embraced the Medway Music Scene and made many friends during her short time here. Music was everything to her…and she encouraged me to carry on when I had all but given up. She will be forever in my heart’
Andy has also just completed the writing of a musical entitled ‘The Astonishing Tale of Archibald’s Reaction to the Demise of Amy Winehouse’ which features songs about Amy, Alice Glass (Crystal Castles) and Florence Welch (Florence and the Machine)

Andy is in the process of locating a sponsor to help fund the recording and production of both of the aforementioned musicals.

Anyone who would like to find out more about Andy’s projects…or would just like a cd…for the minimal cost of p&p…can contact him on ufk@blueyonder.co.uk

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NOTE FROM ANDY (AUTHOR)

IF YOU LIKE THIS ARTICLE OR FOUND IT USEFUL OR ENTERTAINING IN ANY WAY WOULD YOU PLEASE SHARE IT FOR OTHERS TO SEE...AND PLEASE MAKE A COMMENT BELOW TO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF IT....GOOD OR BAD

THANKS MUCHLY

ANDY

XXX

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