Under The Dome -- The Season 2 Premiere Penned By Stephen King

Was I supposed to be laughing?

I swore after last year's finale, I wouldn't watch it again. But I was curious if Stephen King could turn it around. At least one question was answered. I get now why Stephen King isn't complaining about the quality of this show. He doesn't write it any better than the the usual writers do. In fact, some scenes were so bad they made me laugh.

One thing King introduced was stealing from LOST the whole science vs faith storyline. As well as setting up a triangle or quad between two new characters and the grossest pairing in history, Julia and Barbie. Domehead Julia is all about having faith in the almighty dome while the new science teacher is finding a scientific explanation for the happenings inside the dome. Count me on the side of the science teacher, since anything that wants you to kill people and kills whomever it pleases to get its own way isn't something you should be investing blind faith in. In short, the Domeheads are dingbats.

Julia returned from his jaunt on the lake where she dropped the egg in the water and that may have been a big mistake since after shooting pink stars all over the place the dome became magnetized and began causing most of the town's people to pass out. And that's when the fun really began. But first...

She sees some girl drowning in a lake. It's possible the egg may have taken on human form or she's what hatched from the egg considering what happens later involving Lake Chick. Julia rushes to save her where she meets up with much hotter than Barbie guy who is not only an EMT and can provide some medical help since the Dome whacked-off the only doctor the Dome had [while Barbie whacked off the other before the Dome came down] but he's also Junior's uncle and Big Jim's brother-in-law. And he don't like Big Jim. He don't like him at all and may blame him for his sister's suicide. His name is Sam I Am and he's living out by himself in a cabin in the woods. I couldn't help but wonder if Sam will be more like Book Barbie and be an actual hero then Show Barbie who is a glorified thug.

Anyway, Sam I Am arrives on the scene and takes Julia and Lake Chick to his cabin. Lake Chick won't talk and he declares she's in shock. She's not in too much shock to stand in the doorway spying on Julia and Sam I Am as he redresses Julia's wound. Meanwhile it was rather funny how Julia was so sad because she thought Barbie was dead. She felt worse about his death and she's only know him for a couple of days than she did her own husband who she knew for years.

Back in town, Junior won't pull the lever to hang Barbie cause he thinks the Dome is trying to tell them something and Barbie gets them to take him to the Dome to find out what's going on as people start falling to the ground in such a comical way it kind of makes you want to laugh.

At the town line the Dome is sucking anything metallic to the Dome's sides as it's become magnetized, including the nails keeping the houses together. The cow sliced in two was still cooler. Barbie starts screaming to take the handcuffs off him as he's sucked to the side of the Dome, too. Linda rushes to uncuff him and the Dome thanks her by sucking a car to the Dome and smashing her against the side of the Dome like a fly that got hit by a flyswatter. If this was the old Batman TV series, a giant SPLAT! would have appeared on screen as the car squashed Linda to death. Yep, there will be no reunion between Linda and Rusty except in the hereafter.

Linda's death makes Junior turn on Big Jim and he goes to find the object of his obsession, psychotic Angie Baby who thinks the Dome will be nice to them if they do what it wants and kill Big Jim. Junior even offers to get her a gun.

Meanwhile Big Jim goes to his bomb shelter to get his guns and gets trapped inside. But fear not, he's not alone. Ghost Dodee is there to preach at him to change his way or the Dome will make Junior pay for daddy's sins. And I'm like, you've got a room full of guns? Why don't you just shoot her again. Seeing Ghost Dodee makes me glad Big Jim killed her in the first place.

And while Julia is meeting Sam I Am, Barbie is meeting the science teacher who has been keeping track of the Dome's magnetic surges. She likens them to a woman having contractions while in labor. She's even created a metal model of the Dome out of what looks to be barbed wire. She thinks if they can make their own magnet they can stop the whole town from ending up stuck to the side of the Dome. Unfortunately, when they turn on the magnet everyone passes out but Barbie.

Big Jim uses a hand grenade to blow off the door to the bomb shelter and finds Junior also passed out on the ground. Only three people don't pass out: Domehead Julia, Barbie and Big Jim. Dead Linda shows up tell Big Jim to save his son he must hang himself in the spot he planned to hang Barbie in.

Meanwhile since Junior is special he goes some place else when he passes out. He sees a water globe and drops it when it fills with blood. Then he sees his mother alive and well. She calls him James and when he wakes up he says he wants to be called James from now on, not Junior.

Back in Chester's Mill Big Jim puts his head in the noose and urges Julia or Barbie to pull the lever. JuJu is all for it, then can't do it. So Big Jim stops the wood out from where he's standing and falls through hanging himself. JuJu saves his life by cutting the rope before he can die, declaring the Dome only wanted him to be willing to do it. Afterwards, everyone wakes up, the Dome is de-magnitized and Big Jim starts acting nice. Big Jim being nice is like Santa Claus being a grinch. It just doesn't work.

This sets up Julia to believe the Dome made it all go away because Big Jim gave it what it want, while the science teacher thinks her McGyver-style magnet is what saved the day.

Angie Baby gets in Big Jim's face saying she'd still like to kill him and that maybe the moment she signed her own death warrant courtesy of the Dome. She sees Lake Chick run into the school and look inside the locker. Earlier, Lake Chick went to were Linda is laying dead and gives her an insincere, "Sorry," Yeah, Linda, sorry you went splat, but sacrifices must be made.

When Lake Chick spots Angie Baby she takes off and Angie Baby looks into the locker to see what Lake Chick was looking at. She's shocked by what she sees, but she's even more shocked when an axe comes down and axes her.

I couldn't help thinking that the only thing Stephen King fixed was the show letting Angie live when the Dome came down when in the book she died before the Dome came down. So in the first show of the second season he axes her and it's bye-bye, Angie Baby.

Maybe the teen twits better stop worshiping the Dome and think that Norrie's mom, Joe's sister and member of the Sacred Four are dead, and the Dome wanted Junior to kill his own father. It may not be the benevolent thing they seem to think it is.

And it seems Junior's dead mommy, Big Mama Rennie isn't dead after all. She's off somewhere doing some more bad art. If she'd done a painting of me that looked like the painting she did of Junior, I'd be insulted.

And there you have it. The Dome is back and fan boys are upset that their Angie Baby has been taken from them and praying she survives being axed.

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