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Weakly Humor

Updated on October 23, 2010

This is intended for the private use of me and any reuse is prohibited without express written sexual consent. Any similarity between my writings and reality is simply imagined!

There are many things that happen during the course of a week that seem funny only when we alter things just a bit or when we put our spin on it. So in that vein, here is my take on some of the things in the news that occurred this week.

A military officer revealed that for approximately 2 months while he was President, Bill Clinton "misplaced" the nuclear codes that are on a card that he carries with him. When asked to present the card he said, "I'm not sure if I left them at Motel 6 or Best Western!"

I'm not sure they were misplaced though. He may have just been having a hard time getting Monica's DNA off them.

Obama is sure he would not misplace them. He knows right where the codes are at all times. In Michelle's purse right next to his testicles.

The UAE's highest judicial body, okayed beatings of wives and children. It seems that several NFL current and former players noted that they had come up with the idea first!

In Washington state, a hiker was killed by a mountain goat. When the goat was cornered, just before he was shot, he bleated, "The man did just not get that "no" means no! Besides I don't roll that way! The dress he wanted me to wear was bad enough, but when he wanted me in high heels, it put me over the edge!"

A man that has tattoos over 98% of his body has started injecting ink into his eyes. He had to use blue because all the red ink is tied up by Congress!

The good news is that all the Chilean miners were rescued. The bad news it seems that several have unexpectedly contracted STD's while trapped in the mine.

Juan Williams was fired from NPR for making statements about feeling uneasy when he sees people dressed in Muslim garb on airplanes.  David Dukes felt the same way when he saw black guys in liquor stores. 

The top costume for gays this Halloween is going trick or treating as Lady Gaga!

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