Walmart China: Every Day Low Prices On Weird Stuff

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What happens when I’m bored? Well, I had to give up staring out the window because I ended up dyeing my eyebrows and attending my own funeral disguised as a guy named Phil Chifley. “Get rid of cable.” Ok, not really. But I do like to seek out funny and unusual stuff to keep my mind occupied. I suppose I could look up ways to create green energy using old muck boots and a soda bottle or how to clone my own chicken using baking soda and a thumbtack.

While I was perusing the dregs of the internet, I came across a wonderful little site called BuzzFeed. And listed on this delightful site was a photo essay entitled “16 Items They Only Sell At Chinese Wal-Marts.” What makes the Wal-Marts in China so different than the Wal-Marts in the US? Well, besides the more upscale dress code, I give you their 16 items unique to China with my commentary as a free, added bonus.

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1. Crocodiles

When I have absolutely no idea what to make for dinner, my first thought is, of course, crocodile. Why wouldn’t it be? They taste like chicken, right? Brown up a pound of croc, toss in some Croc-Helper and dinner is served. I wonder what kind of veggie goes with crocodile. It couldn’t be just any wimpy vegetable. It would have to be fierce and confident. Artichoke! Yep, it’s tough, hard to eat and green. It’s the perfect accompaniment to crocodile. It’ll be the next epicurean wave. Look for it at Red Lobster next year.

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2. Bulk Rice

Buying rice in bulk actually makes a lot of sense to me. But why is there such a big price difference between the two kinds? Is one grown exclusively for the rice connoisseur? Is the cheaper variety that less rice tasting? Was it grown on the bad side of the rice paddy? I guess the only way to find out is to hop a plane to China and go see for myself. Anyone want to donate a dollar to my research fund? I promise to write a hub about it when I get back. Seriously.

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3. Mixed Meat

Is it me or should these folks be wearing plastic gloves and standing behind a sneeze guard? Maybe it’s a new method of tenderizing tough meat. I’m not sure I want to buy my meat from a large, open, container filled with all sorts of mixed meat that Billybob Lee and all of his cousins have man-handled. And how do you know they washed their hands first. You just don’t know where they’ve been before they decided to stop by the meat department and fondle some unnamed meat parts. Heck, they might have just come from caressing the crocodiles and gotten croc cooties all over the mystery meat.

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4. Orange Juice & Cooking Oil

I can understand bundling phone with internet. I can even understand bundling a trial size with a full size product. But, for the life of me, I don’t get bundling orange juice with cooking oil. Is there some fantastic recipe in China that calls for mixing OJ and corn oil? I can only guess that it has something to do with fish since there is a fish on the front of the cooking oil jug. Maybe, frying fish is so laborious and exhausting that the cook needs to consume the orange juice to keep up their strength. It might be something as simple as being part of a wacky game shows where the contestant has to create a tasty yet original recipe using only the ingredients contained in a wicker basket.

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5. Turtles

I wonder if this is anything like soft shelled crab. I’ve heard of turtle soup, but I always pictured the chef, out on the open ocean in a rowboat, slowly tracking the ancient sea turtle. I never suspected that all the chef had to do was jump on a bicycle and peddle over to Wal-Mart to pick up a half dozen semi-domesticated turtles to throw in the pot. When I was a kid, I used to steal a couple of goldfish out of my dad’s bait bucket. I wonder if little Jimmy Chen has ever stolen a turtle off of the counter before it ended up as dinner.

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6. Your Guess Is As Good As Mine.

What the heck are those? Is that some sort of snake jerky? Can you slice it up and serve it on crackers with a nice little aged cheddar? It doesn’t look like any kind of mineral or vegetable I’ve ever seen, not that I’ve traveled the vastness of the world and seen a whole lot. But I have never seen anything like that in my travels around the US. I must not be looking in the right places. And if I don’t know what it is, how the heck can I cook it? If it tastes like banana and I cut it up and dropped it into a stew pot with potatoes, carrots, onion and celery, I doubt even the dog would eat it. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that billybuc would eat it. Have you seen his recipes for bachelors? Ew.

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7. Walmart Brand Spirits ($0.15)

That looks a lot like grain alcohol! And it’s just sitting out in the aisle like the pallets of toilet paper and cheesy poofs. I’m thinking that if this was the case in the US, every teen within a hundred miles would be shopping at Wal-Mart every Friday night before heading out to their favorite party spot. Pick up a couple bottles on Walmart brand alcohol and a couple of flavor enhancers for water and you have a party in a bottle for under five bucks. Man, what I wouldn’t have given for some cheap entertainment like that when I was a teen. We had to settle for poking road kill with a stick, that is, until the bears found out and ran us off.

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8. Rib Cages

I’m really hoping that those ribs are from a tasty animal like cow, pig or lamb. I would hate to think that the zombie apocalypse was being exploited and commercialized by Walmart in China. Makes me wonder what else the product specialists have in store for the average consumer; feet, liver, tongue or maybe heart? What’s that you say? Those products are already commonly found in the meat department? Wow, I need to expand my shopping horizons and get with the program.

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9. Assorted Dried Reptiles

Realizing that they were missing out on a very large demographic, Wal-Mart began offering a wide variety of ingredients and items for the practicing witch and warlock. I’m sure if asked nicely, the associate in the Pagan Department would be more than happy to custom grind and blend free of charge.

No offense to the witches and warlocks of the world, without you, there would be no magic.

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10. Boxes Of Liquor

You can’t beat an adult candy store with everything on my wish list. With all the money to be saved on everyday items, why not splurge a little and get a little something for yourself? Nothing says success like a fully stocked liquor cabinet when the neighbors come over. You will be the talk of the neighborhood and the cool place to hang out. I bet the hardware department has everything you need to build the ultimate bar to showcase your excellent taste in adult beverages. Stock up now for the holiday season.

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11. Frogs

No more pulling an all-nighter at the local swamp jigging for frogs for this kid. Nope, now I can sleep in as late as I want and buy them at my leisure. I’m guaranteed to get just as many as I need for a frog leg dinner when Bobbie Joe and his lovely girlfriend, Missy Sue stop by to chew the fat.

I wonder how they keep those critters from jumping out of the tank. And do they have a frog wrangler standing by in case there's a frog stampede?

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12. A Large Selection Of Chopsticks

This item is something I was just not expecting to find in a Chinese Wal-Mart. Now why would someone possibly need such a wide variety of chopsticks? Are some like every day, ordinary chop sticks? And others are for more upscale occasions like when the mother in law is coming over to criticize and belittle every aspect of your life? I, myself, prefer the multi-colored pack. I’ll take a dozen, please.

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13. Ducks

Oh the things I could do if only I had a semi-prepared duck. I dream of a wall of ducks just hanging around waiting for me to stop by and toss a couple in my shopping cart. Then I would hurry home and fire up the grill. I would prepare a tasty treat for my family and they would praise my greatness though song and poem. If only Walmart sold duck!

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14. Great Value Brand Beef Granules

Nothing says “I love you” like a big ole bag of Great Value Brand Beef Granules, especially the hot and spicy kind. I can’t even imagine what you could use these for. Maybe playing practical jokes on the neighborhood kids at Halloween. They think they’re getting something gooey, chewy and totally awesome. But after a minute of popping one into their sweet little mouths, a volcano of heat and fire so hot, only to souls trapped in the flames of eternal damnation know the depths of the pain.

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15. Pig Faces

Yummm! I loves me some pig faces! I was unaware that China held a substantial population of rednecks and backwoods inhabitants. Who else would find animal faces nutritious and equally delicious? This gives me and my kinfolk a whole new region to explore and exploit. I am overcome with excitement and joy at the possibility of expanding my horizons through cultural exchange. Pardon me while I go load up the 4 x 4 hillbilly style and relocate to a new land of opportunity filled with pleasant peasants and friendly farmers.

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16. Antibacterial Bikini Underwear For Men

After some extensive research, I discovered that antibacterial underwear is used to “reduce the opportunity of candida albicans affection.” And they reduce the chance of contracting mites in the delicate areas of the body, namely the ‘private parts.’ So, my understanding is, if you find that mites are developing an affection for your nether regions, wearing these special undergarments would be an appropriate response, and to do so immediately. Gotcha.

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Bonus: Shark

I would buy a shark if only to take it to the community swimming pool and pull the biggest hijinks since the Baby Ruth on the bottom of the pool shenanigans.

Do you shop at Walmart?

  • No, I wouldn't be caught dead there!
  • Yes, but only in disguise. I don't wanna stand out because I look normal.
  • Yup, and proud of it, too!
See results without voting

Conclusion

There you have it, my friends, that's what happens when I get bored. I guess it beats hiding out for the rest of my life from the mafia because I was staring out the window. And it's cheaper than a Happy Meal for two on a Saturday night, but not as romantic, unless the mites are feeling a little frisky.

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Comments 175 comments

TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 3 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Au fait, my long lost sister! Glad you enjoyed it. I have many fond memories of poking road kill with a stick as a kid on a Friday night...well, in the summer time anyway. Too cold in the winter. ;) Thank you for dropping by!


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas

Love you line about being trapped in the eternal flames of damnation. Also think you must have grown up just down the road from me out in the country since poking roadkill with a stick was the most exciting thing to do on a Friday night. Pig's faces are nothing more than Pink Slime unprocessed. They put them in our hotdogs here.

Very funny as always, and interesting. Voted up!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 3 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, Cyndi. The US also have the infamous "People of Walmart!" :) *gag*


Cyndi10 profile image

Cyndi10 3 years ago from Georgia

In America Walmart has the weird dress, in China I guess it's the products. Funny, again. Take care.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Jessie! Yeah, I hear ya! :) LOL


Jessie Kupchick profile image

Jessie Kupchick 4 years ago from Ohio

Oh wow, another lovely article! The mankini underwear.. I can't even..


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

No worries, bdegiulio, they still have McDonald's! :) Thank you, my friend! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, dwachira. I would have to agree with the government minister. Not so sure about those frog legs tho. :) Thank you so much! I appreciate your visit. :)


bdegiulio profile image

bdegiulio 4 years ago from Massachusetts

OMG. I knew they consumed some strange stuff in China but this is too funny. I always thought I wanted to visit China but what on earth would I eat if I went? Great, great hub. VU, Sharing, etc..


dwachira profile image

dwachira 4 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

Hi TToombs08,

Reading this article has reminded me of a government minister who said that human can eat anything so long as it is appealing to the eyes .... mm..if they have got frog legs, nummers, nummers! what don't hey have. I enjoyed reading this. Voted up and interesting.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

I would have to agree, Mike Robbers! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Jennifer Stone: Careful what you wish for. Walmart is 'different' that's for sure. :) It attracts it's own breed of people. :) Thank you for reading!


Mike Robbers profile image

Mike Robbers 4 years ago from London

haha.. that was something else, the world is a big and strange place after all :)


Jennifer Stone profile image

Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

We don't get Walmart in England... I feel like we're missing out! :-) Great hub, entertaining and educational... all the votes, Jen


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Thank you so much for that, nighthag! :) I'm really enjoying your hubs as well. :)


nighthag profile image

nighthag 4 years ago from Australia

A wonderful hub :) I have to say I am enjoying your humor immensely and look forward to reading much more


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Thank you, FullOfLoveSites. :) I agree, it's all in the eye of the beholder. :) Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for stopping by! :)


FullOfLoveSites profile image

FullOfLoveSites 4 years ago from United States

China no doubt has made lots of weird products, in foreigners' eyes. There, for the Chinese they're just as ordinary as hamburger and fries, or something like that. Thanks for the funny hub! I was really tickled pink while reading this. :))


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

I would suggest industrial strength electro-shock therapy for that little problem, A.A. :)


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

Tourrettes kicked in. My bad...


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

You ok, A.A.? :)


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

HAHAHAAHHAHA!!!!!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Sorry, A.A., I don't think they make them that small. :) Try a Made In Mexico product, they are a little closer to understanding the wants and needs of greedy Americans. :)


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

After doing in the field research on my sex addict hub, I decided that I should buy some Chinese Walmart brand Super Terrific anti-bacterial underwear. One problem, they look like they only sell them in Asian sizes. Do you know when the American sizes will be in stock?


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Always a pleasure to entertain you, my friend, carter! :) I guess it couldn't be any worse than eating alligator or conch. My grandfather used to LOVE frog legs. Not this kid! :) I'll stick to things that go moo, cluck and oink. :)


carter06 profile image

carter06 4 years ago from Cronulla NSW

This is ridiculously funny TT...thank goodness China hasn't taken over the world yet...The idea of pig face, dried reptile, crocodile, frog, turtle and shark being on our menu's is more than a little off putting, don't ya reckon?? Lol...Keep writing so we can keep laughing our funny friend...

lot's of votes & shared...cheers


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Ok, Lipnancy, just to make you feel good, it was refrigerated AND inspected by certified meat inspectors. :) Better? :)


Lipnancy profile image

Lipnancy 4 years ago from Hamburg, New York

Oh my, Was the meat and ribs at least refrigerated? Say it was just to make me feel good.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Jeolmoz2, if you find out, please let us know. :)


jeolmoz2 profile image

jeolmoz2 4 years ago from Florida, USA

I've to admit that the bundling of orange juice & cooking oil has me intrigued...I've to research it & find out the connection


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

LOL @ Doc. Out of my choices, I'd pick your drinking buddy; more of a challenge and way more rewarding! :) Thank you, Doc, you are a gem. :)


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK

Believe it or not, I met a guy called Phil Chifley and I always wondered about his strange colored eyebrows. Only it wasn't at a funeral but a local strip club. ( I was on an emergency call-out, I hasten to add. Medical emergency, not any other kind, mind you). You know what, you need to be perennially bored so that we don't have to be. You should be a Liz Lemon. You should be on SNL. Heck, you should be my drinking buddy so I laugh till I snort branded spirit through my burning nostrils. You, Terrye T. write like a dream. A good one. No wonder this hub is up there at the top. Awesome.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

What? No pig open face sandwiches for you, Audrey? :) *chuckle* I don't blame ya tho!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Wow! So very funny--I think I will pass on shopping there though--not much on pig's faces--


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya brave. I guess they do. I live around stock yards and have, on more than one occasion, seen fresh butchered beef being delivered to the local meat market before I went in to shop. And as my husband is a big hunter, I've seen game butchered and then I've cooked it. I guess it all depends on what you are used to. In Louisiana, they are used to eating all sorts of crazy and yummy stuff! :) One man's ew i another man's yum! lol!!


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 4 years ago from Central Florida

No need to be sorry. I don't eat any of that crap. People do????? WTF? What they eat is enough to make one become vegetarian. It's bad enuf remembering our delectable steaks once held a different form, but to look it in it's (dead) face?? I think not. What do they do with that? Wear it to show their kids who eat too much what they might become? Eww! Ga-ross with a capital GA!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

brave: we'll call it the Walmart China diet plan! LOL Thank you for the laugh and sorry it grossed ya out!


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 4 years ago from Central Florida

Hilarious, TT! (and quite gross!) Now we know why the Chinese don't have an obesity problem: they barf before and after every meal! Ugh! Next time I feel the need to curb my appetite, I'll refer to this hub. Better yet, I'll hang all the (not so) delectable pictures on my fridge!

You're a trip!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Rajan, I would tend to agree with you, yes one man's meat is another man's poison! :) Great line!!! Thank you so much for reading!


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Very hilarious and funny. And I understood why you had to show the lighter side of things, when I saw the pictures. They look gross! One man's meat is another man's poison.

Awesome and enjoyable TT.

Voted up and funny.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Thank you, girishpuri! Very happy you liked it. :)


girishpuri profile image

girishpuri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

Hilarious....lol. voted interesting


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Good question, loveme! Especially the crocs!!!


Lovelovemeloveme profile image

Lovelovemeloveme 4 years ago from Cindee's Land

lol what I wonder is ...where and how is walmart getting these items?! AHAHAHA


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey there, iefox5, I would have to agree. Thank you. :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, Stephanie! :) I have to hand that to them, they know their customers! :) Thank you SOOOO much! :)


iefox5 profile image

iefox5 4 years ago

Yes, we always find such interesting items in Walmart China stores.


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

You had me laughing out loud at this one! Leave it to Walmart to figure out the demographics and cater to the demands of the people! :) Voted up, funny and all the rest! Shared too!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Jackie! It's probably because it's "organic" in some way or another. :) Or, it could be an "non-processing" fee included in the price. :)


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

You make some good points. I always wondered why it cost more for stuff they "don't" have to process or mess with??!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Carly! When yer ready to go shopping in China, let me know, I wanna be right there with ya picking up a 2 for 1 deal on the crocs! :) Thank you so much and glad you enjoyed! :)


CarlySullens profile image

CarlySullens 4 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

This is hilarious! I love the crocodiles with the extra orange in their mouth. And those phallic looking things for $49.60. Glad to know that all Wal*Marts across the globe are not the same. If I ever encounter one in China I now know how to best stretch my dollar for those funky reptiles. Voted up and Useful. Of course funny.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey there, howler! :) Cheaper by the tonnage, maybe? :) Thank you so much, hope you got a good laugh out of it. :)


howlermunkey profile image

howlermunkey 4 years ago from Tampa, FL

!!!. Wow. Awesome hub. Waiting for your bulk rice explanation. Voted up and sharing :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

lmao@ fp! You, my friend, are a riot! :) I would LOVE to see any pictures that you forward along! :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

You know...now that you mention it.....I didn't even ask about pictures.......If he did take some, he'll email them to me and I'll fwd them to you......

I'm very accustomed to the type of "DEAL" you offered me...I'm also pretty good at sending "regrets".........lol


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey there, fp! Normally, I would charge $79.95 just for the privilege of being in my presence, but for you, a special - $99.95 because you, my friend, can handle this much awesomeness! lmao! :) Thank you, I really appreciate the compliment! :) I keep trying to tell hubby that I'm practicing my smart a$$-ness on him so that my writing improves. I don't think he's buying it either. :)

Oh wow, your son is so lucky! I hope he took lots of pictures! My former boss spent a couple of weeks there and took pictures of every meal then shared when she got back. It was a real eye opener! But she was brave and tried almost everything. :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

TToombs......OMG....I can't breathe......thanks to you, I have a near-6-pack (abs) for the first time since before my first of four, ultimate body-destroying preganancies...........You are one HILARIOUS lady. I can only imagine the fun of living near someone like you. A heavy dose of belly-laughing everyday and not a single membership to a gym would ever be necessary!! I LOVE this!!! My son recently returned from a week-long business trip to China. You'd have to know my son to appreciate this, but he's a health-nut-body-builder......and totally anal about his "food & beverage."......He said he would tell me about what "they" eat over there, but he had just stopped gagging a couple of hours prior to our phone conversation...........UP!!!! ++++


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hello, Pfennig! I agree, it's the best way to win over consumers is to meet their needs and not make them conform to yours. :) Thank you for reading. :)


Pfennig profile image

Pfennig 4 years ago

Loved the humorous tour of Chinese WalMarts. Cool how the store adapts to its customers' needs and environment rather than make them like us.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Thanks, Aubrey, hope you enjoyed our little tour of Walmart - China. :)


CrazedNovelist profile image

CrazedNovelist 4 years ago from Hampton, GA

Wow, Terrye... so interesting... Ummm.... wow. lol.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

lol @ Ruchira! Glad you got a laugh out of it! I know the undies are true, I looked up the manufacturing company to find out what they were for. :) Happy hunting!


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Geez...terry. You are funny...gotta google if those crocs and underwear thingies are true ;)

Funny hub and TGIF, terry!

Many votes.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Gee, kj, I've never been told that my life was pathetic before. :( Glad you enjoyed my hub on the weird things they sell at Walmart in China. Thank you for dropping in to read. :)


kj force profile image

kj force 4 years ago from Florida

OMG..TToombs08...you poor thing..you really are BORED...and I thought my life was a WASH !..thank you for sharing your poor pathetic life with us..we all can feel better about ours now....hahahaha...loved the humor..wonder if all the clothes sold in their Walmart are " made in the U.S.A. ?? "..thumbs up..


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Thank you Etherealenigma! :) Glad you enjoyed it and thank you so much for pinning! :)


Etherealenigma profile image

Etherealenigma 4 years ago from Florida

That was rather interesting and quite amusing. I pinned it. GB


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey, Lady Victory Lynn! I am elated at your visit to my most humble hub! :) I find the differences between cultures utterly fascinating! Not that I would participate in meat selection or munching on pig faces, but some things I would give a shot. :) Glad you enjoyed and I appreciate you dropping by for a read! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, daisydayz! Um...ew! Wow, you must have been able to do and see a lot in a month! I think that would have been fun and amazing! Thank you so much for clearing up the mystery item. Nothing like hanging out your bat to dry, huh? :) Appreciate you dropping in for a read and a fun comment! :) Thank you.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

You are so hilarious, TT! I love the way you write. Oh, all the open meat stuff and reptiles--so gross. The culture differences are amazing, huh?

Loved the hub! So, so much!


daisydayz profile image

daisydayz 4 years ago from Cardiff

Hehehe! This hub is brilliant although I am not at all surprised by what was there. I spent a month in China for my honeymoon, there are some seriously weird things out there. I may be wrong but I believe the thing you couldn't identify is indeed, penis! Probably horse or cow, we saw a lot drying in the sun while we were there, next to the bats and squirells on a clothes line!! Eek! Voted up and Funny! Thanks


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Kittythedreamer! I would have to agree, there is a huge cultural difference, but I find it a fascinating difference. It's a lot like a train wreck in that you can't stop looking and have to satisfy the old curiosity. :) Thank you for having a look and making it all the way through. :)


kittythedreamer profile image

kittythedreamer 4 years ago from the Ether

Whoa...intensely weird. I know the whole cultural difference is huge but I didn't know it was THIS big. Yikes...turtles, sharks, and lizards? Dried pig faces? This is like a scene from a horror movie. Extremely interesting article though...you really came up with a unique topic for a hub. Voted up and interesting.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

lmao@ Mar! I didn't even think about the dishes aspect. Too funny! :) I'm not saying who that is in the undies advert. :) Glad you liked it, even with the mild case of up-chuck. :)


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

OMG...

Is that Augustine in the "Antibacterial Underwear" advertisement... just sayin...?

Like Sunshine, I have hereby lost my lunch and it is not even breakfast time yet...now that's funny!

For some reason, I thought I might get some ideas on a new dish pattern when I read the title... but I went down a slightly different road... a kinda funny road actually!

Voted UP & waaaaay too much UFABI! Hugs, Maria


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Sueswan! :) I think it's pretty new, from my understanding. I watched a documentary on Walmart in China a couple of weeks ago and it was very interesting. :) I would not be surprised if they did eventually. Appreciate you dropping by! :) Thank you, Sue! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hi there, Tammy! Don't it tho?! :) They have a thankless job. My uncle was an FDA meat inspector in WA for years and he would tell mom horror stories. I had to stop listening to them. lol! :) It has to be worse than the stench of the stock yards baking in the 100+ heat we've been having. The other day, when it was 105, the reek of the cows was overwhelming. I will never be able to be a rancher or a dairy person. :)


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Terrye

LMAO!!!

I didn't even know they had Walmart in China.

I am surprised they don't sell cat.

Take care :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, Beckie! :) I think everyone should be wearing antibacterial underwear. :) Yep, good ole billybuc is a leader in the unique culinary arena. :) Glad you enjoyed it and kept down your lunch. :)


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

O...M...G... This hub makes me want to go and hug every individual working at the FDA and say thank you... I could not go to this Walmart in China. The meat is not wrapped. The pig faces are the worst. Can you imagine that sitting in your car on a hot day? Ahhhh... Going to go shower. One more reason I am glad to be in U.S.A. :)


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

Ttoombs - After reading this I should probably purchase a package of the antibacterial underwear.

Billy buck has quite a culinary palette I take it?

This was gross and I enjoyed every minute of it. I found it interesting and had no idea so many unusual items were for sale.

I always love your humor but I was equally as interested. Especially the adult candy store!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

That is fabulous, Lovelove! I'll be watching for the invitation in the next lifetime then? :)


Lovelovemeloveme profile image

Lovelovemeloveme 4 years ago from Cindee's Land

Of course! You'll be my guest of honor. I just need to master how to cook oil-orange-juice-crocodile sprinkled with frog legs first. =D


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Lovelove! Yeah, they don't sell those special ingredients here in MT, either. Now I have to make special trips to China all the time...and the traffic is horrible! :) lol! Glad you liked it...happy shopping! And I'll be looking for my invitation to the feast! :)


Lovelovemeloveme profile image

Lovelovemeloveme 4 years ago from Cindee's Land

Omg. Thank you for this article. I was driving around looking for some crocodiles and dirty-hand-mixed meat, but they seem to be unavailable here in Canada. Now I know where I can get some good ingredients for dinner. ;) looks like we're going to be having quite the Alice in wonderland feast.

Good article ;)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, KK! :) When you figure that out, can you let me know? :) Thank you for reading and enjoying a laugh with me. :)


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

How funny you are. A Walmart in China is definitely off of my places to visit list. I'm still trying to figure out why they sell orange juice and oil together. Up and funny.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya Jeannie! :) There's a surprise around every corner! :) Glad you liked it and thank you for letting me link to your hub and for the link back. :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

I think I threw up a little reading this hub. Way too much unrefrigerated meat at China Walmarts!!! However, the boxes of alcohol I do find strangely appealing. I would certainly want to get drunk if I had to roam around a Walmart with that many dead animals looming around every corner.

Awesome hub and voted up! Thanks for adding my hub to the links. I will add your hub to my Walmart page. :-)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Bobbiiiiiiiiiiiiii! :) Ok, I'll get bored and think of ways to recycle used Q-tips. :) Thank you for laughing at me and my hub. :) With friends like you...I would be a happy hubber! :)


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 4 years ago from Florida

TToombso8,

Wow! I will never journey into a Wal-mart in China, what a totally gross place.

I hope you don't get bored again with Walmart in mind. You are so funny and I enjoyed your humor.

Your Hub Friend,

Bobbi Purvis


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Michael! I would tend to agree, the Chinese seem to be more willing to experiment than our culture does. :)


charmike4 profile image

charmike4 4 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

Loved this! It's amazing in China, people are interested in the exotic. Cheers Michael


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, Sherry! I have always wanted to visit Chinatown! I bet it's every bit as cool as going to China! :) And I would probably buy all the turtles and set them free so they have a chance to grow up. :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Thank you, Gypsy Rose! Most appreciated. I would SO go to walmart in China just because I think it would be SO different than anything I've ever experienced. Extreme sports for the shopping kind? :) Always a pleasure to share a laugh with you.


Sherry Hewins profile image

Sherry Hewins 4 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

This was hilarious. I have actually seen stuff like this sitting in baskets on the street in San Francisco's Chinatown. Stuff dried like lizards and pig faces. I feel awful for the poor baby turtles though.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and funny. This was great. Good sense of humor. Remind me never to venture into a Wal-Mart in China. People here sometimes sell odd things too glad we have no Wal-Mart. Thanks for the laugh and passing this on.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, lyricwriter! :) They sure know how to shop, don't they?! :) Thank you so much!! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Awesome idea, KD...party at your place next Saturday! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Redberry, As soon as I have a successful clone, I will write one. :) Right now...not so much. Kinda gross, actually. :) Good call on the Dragon fruit! :) Appreciate you stopping by! :)


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

OMG!!! Wow, what a great article! I can't believe they leave that stuff out in the open like that. This is so crazy. Awesome idea for an article. This is as interesting as it gets. Voted up and all across but beautiful. Can't believe they eat like that.


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

Haha! Sounds delicious, TT! We should have a party of Hubbers with our favorite cut of shark, croc, and better not forget the frogs and dried lizards! :D


Redberry Sky profile image

Redberry Sky 4 years ago

Pig faces?

PIG faces??

TT, you have gone TOO FAR!

More, please :)

And please clone that chicken and make a ‘how to’ Hub out of the experience. Please please please with a cherry on top?

As for crocodiles, that’s easy. Dragon fruit is the only thing I ever serve with mine :)

Voted up and ... ah, you know the rest :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, momster! I think I would use the antibacterial undies when playing ball with the crocodiles. :) Thank you for stopping by to have a read. :)


momster profile image

momster 4 years ago

That is some weird shopping. I do not think I would use or eat any of those products. Good Hub.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Thank you, Spy! Glad it entertained you and you enjoyed it! :0


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Josh - always happy to entertain. Glad you got a kick out of this. Now I challenge you to do better! :) Ready....set....GO!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, Katrine! I'm sure there are TONS of veggie items. Gotta serve something with all that strange meat, don't you think? I can't imagine only eating meat and rice. Maybe they get their vitamins from the booze? :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, KD! :) Aw, you are too sweet! :) Where's my invitation if you decide to cook up some shark & croc stew? I'll bring the side of frogs and turtle. :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Howdy, A.A., nice to meet you! I love your comments! :) And so glad you found my little hub entertaining and enjoyable! Thank you so much for add to the fun! Much appreciated! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

HI Distant Mind! A good friend of mine spent a summer there a couple of years back and she loved it, but you really have to be opened to all kinds of things. She tried stuff I wouldn't even fathom. Glad you got a laugh out of it. :) Thank you!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Mary! Glad you liked this. Yeah, I had no idea about this aspect of their culture, either. It was rather enlightening when I stumbled across this. :) Thank you much!


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

HAHAHA!! TT, this is amazing..can't remember how many times i said "really???" on every pictures. All my votes!!

Shared!


josh3418 profile image

josh3418 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

TT,

Great job here! Pretty stinking hilarious! Next time I run out of cooking oil I will be looking forward to the relaxing and refreshing glass og OJ! :). And after I use my cooking oil to put together an amazing entree' that is even better than my famous pb and j sandwich, I will be taking a stroll down to the pool and fend myself against the shark with the 12 pack of colored chopsticks. After my phenomenal victory over the shark, I will hit up Walmart on the way back home to pick up some celebration "drinks!".

Hilarious job! Awesome hub and way to cite your source! :)


KatrineDM 4 years ago

Hmmm..where is this place again? I need to stock up on more Liquor...I will have to forget about those other offers..anything for the vegetarians at all? :-)


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

I am rendered speechless. This is quite possibly the funniest hub I have read. Great Job! Now I'm actually in the mood for a shark and crocodile stew with an orange sauce.


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!

I was actually shopping in Walmart when Colin posted this link on my page.

I'm glad you didn't have to die your eye brows like Phil Chifely, cause dying red hair may be expensive, even if you buy the dye at Walmart.

1. Crocodiles: The Chinese will eat ANYTHING. Good side dish? How about lily pads? Maybe hydrilla, something the croc may have used to hide before it got caught. I've eaten alligator tail at Pappadeux, and it did taste like chicken...

2. Bulk Rice: There are different kinds of rice, and it does get expensive. Makes you wonder which kind of rice the UN used to give away to third world countries. During my shopping trip to my local Walmart, I reached for a bag of rice, and was beaten to it by an Indian lady. Maybe she paid too much for rice at a Chinese Walmart. China and India are kinda close...

3. Mixed Meat: How do the Chinese live as long as they do by being as unsanitary as they are? Now I know how Mad Cow disease originated. Crocs have cooties?

4. Orange Juice and cooking oil: I’m thinking it’s a marketing ploy; buy the croc with the orange in its mouth, and we’ll sell you the cooking oil to fry it with. And look, you don’t have to squeeze the orange, cause we’re giving you free orange juice for your trouble.

5. Turtles: I saw an episode of Weird Foods with Richard Zimmer. They were in an Asian diner, and the chef had some wine, a knife, and a turtle. No, they were not toasting a ninja turtle. Let’s just say that it didn’t end well for the turtle…

6. Mystery meat: I saw something similar to this at an Asian deli. There it was intestine stuffed with mystery filling and smoked. I would need to be smoking something to even consider trying something like this…

16. Anti bacterial underwear? Makes sense if you’ve been handling crocs and frogs. Works for preventing mite infestation? Really? Mmm…

I wanted to visit a Chinese Walmart once, to see if their Walmart people are like ours. No need to anymore. Thank you so much for the laughs...


Distant Mind profile image

Distant Mind 4 years ago

A hilarious and slightly disturbing hub. Can you imaging I was planning to go live there for a year?! Fun stuff!

Voted up & funny!


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

This is a classic! I loved it. I've heard the Chinese people ate dog, but this other stuff.......???

I voted this UP and funny.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

I'm sorry, M! Did you not make it all the way down to the shark? That was my favorite part! :)


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

I might as well hit the "useful" button. If you didn't have the pictures... There was this gorgeous Chinese girl I took out to dinner. When she ate the fish eyes, I said that's it, you're going home! This report was like that. :))


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Epi, you have a very warped sense of humor. LOL! Nicely done.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

..well my beautiful hub friend you always manage to make me laugh - so I just wrote one for you in the spirit of this Wal*Mart hub on my walk just now around the bay of the lake - it's called 15 insults from a hostile people greeter on 15%off day for the hard of hearing .......lake erie time 10:22pm


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hiya, Pamela! Yeah, I've been getting that reaction. LOL! :) Glad you enjoyed it though! Thank you so much for making it all the way through it. :)


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

I think the meat was the most gross picture since it is in an open bin and no one is wearing protective hats or masks. This hub is so funny however, that I laughed throughout the whole thing. I can't imagine buying those items either. Up and very funny.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Epi - were you dressed appropriately for shopping at walmart? If you don't dress the part, you tend to stand out and call attention to yourself. :)


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

....you're not just doing something right .... you're doing something perfectly right - and I think that people greeter thought I look 'addled' or slightly mad - when he said - you look like you need help - lol


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Epi! Aw, thank you, you are so sweet! :) You didn't take the Walmart greeter up on his offer? You could have had him do your shopping for you while you kicked back and people watched. :)

I really appreciate you sharing my work and more importantly, your kind words letting me know I'm doing something right. :)


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

....suspiciously - couldn't make it back in time to correct it -lol


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

..the Epi-man , never one known to hold back , must say this is one of the funniest hub presentations of all hub time , and I guess if a picture tells a thousand words and that the camera never lies - then only in Wal*Mart can something like this happen , all over the world - lol lol and beyond if the corporate heads had their choice and like the story I just relayed to Tammy - the first time I met a people greeter he asked me if I needed any help and I said oh no thank you and he eyed me suspciously and said - you look like you need help. lol lol

lake erie time 7:09pm

will post this landmark hub in my fb group Let's just talk music or cinema -


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey there, Debbie! Don't hurt yerself now...gotta pace yourself. Don't wanna lose one of my favorite poets! :) So happy that you enjoyed it. Makes my day. :)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

TT.. I am laughing so hard... this has to be the funniest hub..If I walked into Walmart and saw shark or any of these items I would run so fast.. You made me laugh so hard.. thank you so much

love this

Debbie


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

I aim to please, Ann1! :) More than happy to share a laugh or two! :) I'll see what I can do about being bored more often! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

But, mythicalstorm, he needs to SWIM! :) Or we can just make soup out of him. :) Thank you for your most kind comments. Much appreciated and blushing. :)


Ann1Az2 profile image

Ann1Az2 4 years ago from Orange, Texas

Girl, you are just too funny! I needed a laugh, and you certainly provided it! I hope you get bored more often (no offense).


mythicalstorm273 profile image

mythicalstorm273 4 years ago

Not only are you hilarious with your writing, but you took a potentially boring topic that is interesting and made it AMAZING! After all just looking at the pictures is enough but having an actual commentary to it... well I guess I can say well done and leave the shark out of my swimming pool!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

All my pleasure, Janine! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hi there, Made, and welcome to the madness. :) I never had any idea such a beast existed either, amazing what you can step in on the internet. :) Glad you enjoyed it!


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Totally did bring a smile on this rainy day. Will definitely meet you there!! Thanks again Terrye.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Janine, I'll meet ya at the community pool with the shark! :) So glad you liked this, hope it brought a little sunshine to your rainy day. :) Thank you for the vote of confidence and the share. Most appreciated!!!


Made profile image

Made 4 years ago from Finland

At guess you can have all kinds of meat at Walmart in China. I didn't know food shopping could be that entertaining. I'm looking forward to the next hub you write when you're bored. Hilarious hub! Love it!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Throw in some Guinness stew and soda bread and I'm ALL over it, Suzie! :) Can't wait to read an account of an Irish Walmart.!!!!


Suzie HQ profile image

Suzie HQ 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

Ha! Absotutely TT . . . .pint of the black stuff has your name on it here! Irish Walmart . . . .workin on it!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

HI Suzie!!! :) I'll pick up some superglue the next time I hit Walmart to put you back together. :) OOOO Walmart in the land of the leprechauns (and not the evil ones that eat people)! Now THAT would be awesome to explore!!!

lol Thank you for your vote and support! :) Much appreciated and the next round is on me! Tell 'em to put it on billybuc's tab. *wink*


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Terrye, I loved this and really did get a great laugh out this one. Especially liked #6 and even before I read further thought of Bill's recipes for bachelors. Also, loved the sharks and can't even fathom this one at all! Voted up and shared too of course!!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey there, Jools! Hm...maybe I should get bored more often. LOL I' wondering if they need those specialty undies for shopping in Walmart. :) Who knows what else comes with a Pig Face and a side of frog! :) I lmao @ "spawn!!" You crack me up! Loved it! :) Thank you for joining in on my wackiness. :) It's always good to have company!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Thank you, tillsontitan! :) My hubby doesn't seem to think so tho. I get sent to the corner without my laptop if I annoy him. :) Two WHOLE votes for funny ass hubber?! Yes, I have conquered the world and can now happily hang up my writer's smock (you know this writing business is messy work). :)

As sad as this may sound, I would gladly shop at a Chinese Walmart if it opened near me. The 150+ mile round trip to the nearest place to shop is really getting old! :)

So glad you enjoyed my insanity and glad to have you along on my journey into a new world! :) Thank you from the bottom of my shopping cart!


Suzie HQ profile image

Suzie HQ 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

You crack me up! LOL God bless you being bored TT, this is hilarious, a few expletives were used, I hasten to add at pig faces, crocs, pile of ?? and reptile bags!! Did not know Wal -Mart was in China and gets me thinking . . . .what could they offer the Irish here???!!

Excellent humour as always and you have your no 2 vote for Funniest Hubber, mega congrats and fingers X'd!!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Terrye....SO glad that you got bored and wrote this article - what an eye opener! The Chinese certainly have eclectic tastes when it comes to foodstuff and their underwear preferences seem to err towards the pessimistic wearer - mites? Really? I'll have a Pigs Face with a side of frogs....easy on the spawn!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

We are all so happy when you get bored! No one occupies their mind like you do!

Actually you have a grand total of TWO votes for funny ass hubber! :) Who else but you would take us on a lovely trip through downtown China's fully stocked Walmart? Will there be one like this opening soon near you?

Voted up, funny, awesome and interesting.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

lol! Hiya, lovedoc! yeah, the faces kinda reminded me of Texas Chainsaw. :) I've had alligator, I'm sure croc couldn't be that much different. :) Yeah, they have a lot of interesting stuff on BuzzFeed. My kinda place. :) Glad you enjoyed it tho, and thank you for reading. :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, hecate-horus! I have some close friends that are Wiccan, and I agree, some of the most gentle souls and true animal lovers I've ever met! Glad you took it as comedy and nothing more in that respect. And I agree, a very interesting look at a culture I can only hope to explore some day! :) Thank you for sharing your most valued insight into Wizards and Witches. :)


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

OMG! lol... What are those? yeah, I asked myself the same question. The pig faces look gross! I don't mean it in a bad way, but you know what I mean. Crocodiles, it's what's for dinner? Not brave enough to try that either. This site that you came across is interesting! Voted up odd and interesting!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

CWB, you are not allowed to be funnier than me. Cut it out. :) LMAO!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hm...maybe cuz bear meat isn't nearly as popular as bear gallbladders that are supposed to have some kind of magical powers. Every couple of years, an illegal bear hunting ring gets busting in AK for only taking the gallbladders. yuck. Hhhhmmmmm....the history of the American Flip Flop.... :)


hecate-horus profile image

hecate-horus 4 years ago from Rowland Woods

WOW. This is a really awesome hub! Seriously, I am so torn between wonderfully fascinated and completely repulsed! (Pig faces??)

Thanks for the shout out to all the Wizards and Witches! But... I have a snake as a pet, so I would never think of harming a reptile for my potions or spells. In fact, most Pagans wouldn't use dead animals in their spell work. We are HUGE animal lovers!

Anyway, I really loved this hub! It was a keyhole peek into another culture that most of us rarely see, and you did it well. VUMS!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

You're right flip flops are made in china!!'Also why don't they sell bear meat?!? :)


Civil War Bob profile image

Civil War Bob 4 years ago from Glenside, Pennsylvania

Good hub, TT...voted UUFI. Now, to some mystery solving, CWB-style:

#1. Crocodile Jerky...A great item for trekking in Alaska and The Bad Lands!

#2. The Expensive Bulk Rice is to throw at Sasquatch when he gets hitched.

#4. OJ +Vodka = The Screwdriver. OJ + Corn Oil = The Bowel Driver.

#5. Turtles are to be nurtured and irradiated until they become BOTH Teenagers listening to One Direction AND Ninjas working with the Dark Knight.

#6. "I Love Justin Bieber" arm bands?

#7. Linament for the Liver no doubt.

#9. Dried Reptiles...just throw in NYC sewers and wait!

#10. Question Is: Is it a "success" if it's full when they leave, or empty?

#11. Since the upper class eats the legs, do the barbarians get to eat the rest?

#12. Chopsticks make the perfect plug when the screws in door hinges work loose with age; always keep a few in your carpenter's toolbox.

#13. In the ensuing food fight, you would, of course yell, "DUCK!!"

#14. Beef granules: over here we call them Bullion Cubes.

#15. Notice the snouts...then watch the stands of the Washington Redskins for the snout-wearers!!

#16. If my eyes fail me not, those shorts are a bluish tinge...blue ointment soaked?

SHARK: Repeat after me, "Micky D's Fish Sandwich!"


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Heya, Linda! I have boys, nothing scares me any more. I wrote this hub while munching on a strawberry poptart. :) lol! Glad you enjoyed it, even with the gag factor! :) Since they listed chopsticks, you woulda thunk there would have been a large variety of flip flops. Weren't flip flops a Chinese invention? :)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I just lost my lunch. This hub is hilarious, but simply gross also. I can't imagine how you created this hub without gagging? Oh hold up, you most likely did. Mixed meat?!? Ewwww! Your descriptions of the items truly flipped my flops!!! Outstanding!;)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

lol @ Austinstar! You just got a rimshot and a collective "OH!" lol Yeah, I'm afraid now I'm going to have to visit China just to shop at Wal-Mart! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey there, Christy! I have to agree, BuzzFeed is right up my alley! :) One of my favorite past times is hanging out at Walmart and watching the natives in their natural environment. :) Wanna join me?! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Frank, my friend! Thank you! I much prefer that over "gawd awful, you suck!" :) I will take stupid funny and clever in a bad way any day from you! :) Appreciate you for everything! :)


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

Oh, heck yea! I can't wait to go shopping at a WalMart in China. After all, a million Chinese can't be "Wong" about things.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey Curiad! I guess we should be thankful for our version of Wal-Mart after all, even with the strange dress code here, huh? :) Thank you for reading and enjoying!


ChristyWrites profile image

ChristyWrites 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

BuzzFeed is a hilarious website - glad you found it too! It does suit your humour :) Oh Walmart, it's funny just walking the aisles and people-watching!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hey there, Kelly! LOL! Always a pleasure to share a laugh or more with you! :) Now, get out there and get some anitbacterial undies before the crocodiles start to lust after the ducks! :)


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

lmao @ Bill. Well, now I know I have a grand total of ONE vote for funny ass hubber! :) Thank you, kind sir! :) I was going for "cr@pped myself" but I guess I fell short again! :)

Booze by the box was probably thought up by an evil alcoholic after you had finally found yourself. :) And I'm so glad you did!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. Author

Hi Michelle! Turtle soup is medicinal?! Oh that sounds like a heck of a hub! medicinal properties of interesting foods. You should totally go for it!!! :) And thank you for all the insight, I really love the additional information you provided. There would be no way for me to check this stuff out, so you are a most kind and welcomed contributor! :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

TTombs your hubs are unique.. I know this one was going to side split me when you talked about that cable commericial in your intro..LOL damn LOL you are stupid funny.. I mean that in such a nice way.. and you're clever.. I mean that in a bad way LOL voted up and Crazy good :) bless you girl Frank


Curiad profile image

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

LOL, and I thought Wal-Mart was bad here! Hilarious TT!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I must say I'm am so gla dyou were bored! I was too so I read this hub and LMBO! This is just brilliant! First I didn't even know there was one item you couldn't sell at walmart. And I laughed from the tought o fast ing crocodile all the way to the anti bacterial underpants! OMG!


midget38 profile image

midget38 4 years ago from Singapore

Turtle soup's a fave among some Chinese in Singapore here. Medicinal properties and all of that. And so's frog porridge in Chinatown! Gribbit!Not that I'm a fan, though.

The jerky are actually preserved sausages.....sweet stuff that they eat with stewed chicken or on their own, with fried rice dishes as well. Don't like them very much, a bit too sweet for me. A bit hard to see though, they've put them in a pile, so I can't tell you the kind of meat it's made of. And, yes, sharks fin soup is popular.....that's why environmentalists are not to happy about the shark. Cool hub! Funny as usual too!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Just so you know, I voted for you as funniest Hubber, and this is an excellent example of why. Absolutely hilarious Sis! thanks for the mention by the way. You are one funny lady and seriously, who in the hell would be that stuff? I was laughing all by myself....no, I was howling all by myself. Loved the underwear!

Booze by the box? Where was that when I was drinking myself into a coma every night?

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