What Do You Think of These Would-be New Shows for Television?
Television shows: How it really is.
It happens every year. Every television network throws a few bushels of new shows at us and hope that we love most of them, for with every television show that we love, that stands for big bucks for the companies who run their ads on that particular network. And as everyone who knows economics knows, the network with the most hit shows gets a bigger portion of the ad revenue.
But many is the time that the "thinkers," at the big television networks mostly over-think their new show ideas and try as hard as they can to make us love them. If we don't, that nasty word: Cancel, comes into play and more actors are out of work. I can easily assume that television work is not easy or fair work.
Here are just a few of the "new" shows that "I" have devised not for your viewing pleasure, but for your laughing pleasure. Again, do not get ready to see any of these show ideas on your television, these are purely comical.
"Dear John and John" -- Scott Bakula plays an average guy, but a happily-married guy named "John Robbins," married to a lovely girl who one day decides she needs to join the Army to fulfill her patriotic calling. But not long after she is deployed to the Middle East. When she calls home to tell husband, "John," about her new place of residence, she finds out that once-straight "John" is now gay "John Robbins," with a live-in gay lover, Matthew McConaughey, who plays "John Malloy," a rugged outdooors, rugged type and makes a living as a private investigator. This is not a conventional straight-man-turning-gay sitcom. "Dear John and John," has a seam of drama that keeps the show together.
"Short Work" -- Yes, the title is a dead give-away to introduce you to Danny DeVito's new sitcom. DeVito is cast as "Larry Butcher," a retired boxing manager now turned to a freelance tunnel explorer and handling any job that bigger, taller men cannot do. This even blend of drama and comedy will be a sure-fire hit with television viewers as we see DeVito is a new role and a new format.
"Ladies Man" -- is a new drama just suited for Donnie Wahlberg of current fame as "Danny Reagan," on CBS' "Bloods." Wahlberg goes by the name of "Chet Wayne," an expert on how women think and how they arrive at their ideas. "Wayne," is not a gigolo, but his good looks can be deceiving to any woman in distress. And audiences will be deceived into thinking that he is a private eye, but he's not. He is just a reformed macho-minded man who has "seen the light" on how women should be treated and ready to help those who are being neglected.
"Gutter Talk" -- with Drew Barrymore is a novel, ground breaking expose'-type of prime time show where film and stage star, Drew Barrymore presents a tell-all about the upper crust celebrities of Hollywood and how they fare at bowling. Even the fact that bowling is enjoyed by many of the super-stars of Tinsel Town. Stars such as Matt Damon, Penelope Cruz and others. The network that carries this show should score huge ratings out of the gate when premiere time rolls around.
"Bewitched Upgraded" -- Elizabeth Montgomery, Dick York, Dick Sargent, and Agnes Moorehead gave witches a good image in the ABC hit, "Bewitched." Now it's 2015 and "Bewitched" has been upgraded. Eva Mendes is the new "Samantha" and Eva Longoria is the new "Endora." Quite the lovely mother and daughter team. And with comedian, Steve Byrne as the new, open-minded "Darrin," there is no telling what will happen and it usually does.
"Tim "Scoop" Ditka: Undercover Sanitation Man" -- Remember John Krasinski who portrayed "John Halpert," on "The Office?" Well, he's back in fine form as a private eye who does things in an unconventional way. "Ditka," who was fired from the city police force for spending way too much time picking up after his coworkers' gum wrappers thrown on the squad room floor and not enough time solving crime, looks at his new job as a sanitation man as a sign from Providence that he belongs on the back of a garbage truck. "Ditka's" motto is: "Garbage men can see more, hear more, and learn more from what they find in a citizen's garbage can than just wasting time asking these people mostly the same questions.
"Dancer For Hire" -- John Travolta tries his hand at television again, but this time he is not a stereotypical character as "Vinnie Babarino," on "Welcome Back, Kotter." Travolta stars as "Tommy Dancer," who grew independently-wealthy by opening a chain of upscale dance studios and now hires himself out to solve those near-impossible mysteries that occur in various locations all across the world. "Dancer," is a new age "McGwyver," for he does not carry (or believe in) handguns. A new "Mannix?" No. But a new way to solve mysteries.
"Bunny and The Rager" -- The man or woman with mysterious super powers is what television viewers like in 2015 and that pattern will continue in 2016. Remember "Doug and Carrie Heffernon?" Most of America has wondered where they have been. Now they can put their worries to rest. Kevin James and Leah Remini who starred as "Doug" and "Carrie" on "The King of Queens," are cast in brand-new roles as "Bunny McCoy," (Remini), an ex-pole dancer turned crime fighter, but in the capacity of a sharp-minded lawyer with Kevin James as "The Rager," a quiet natured guy who "McCoy" saved from a life of alcoholism. Now as the police finds it almost-difficult to put sly troublemakers behind bars, James turns his super-angry powers loose and almost frightens the hooligans to death. Audiences will love this new partnership, but might miss Jerry "Arthur Spooner" Stiller as time goes on
"Mom, I'm Home" -- the title may be a tad deceiving, but when the show starts, mouths will fly open in amazement. Will Ferrell is cast as "Roy Gaston," a once-successful businessman, but found himself divorced because his hot wife preferred to be with a more-daring man. With nothing left to do and nowhere to go, "Gaston" returns home to live with his mom who has just fell in love with the man of her dreams and lives with her also. The show's formula is new and so is the concept. Ferrell is the only actor who could make this idea work.
"You Talkin' to Me" -- was the catch phrase from one of Hollywood's most-successful films: "Taxi Driver," starring Robert De Niro as a psychopath working as a cab driver who wants to get even with someone who has hurt his favorite fare, a campaign worker, Jodie Foster. But in this serious capsule, De Niro hosts a show where he literally interviews cab drivers from New York, Boston, and Chicago. You can never predict what subjects De Niro may discuss or what the cabbies might say.
This is not an exhausted list of new shows that are in the works for major television networks and cable systems. But with everything said, I would wager that most of these would make as much sense as what we are having to watch in our own realities today.
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