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What Monsters Taught Me

Updated on January 11, 2012

Just watched Monsters (2010), a British Sci-Fi film that takes place after the alien life forms spread through the US-Mexico border. Andrew, an American journalist, must escort his wealthy employer’s daughter, Samantha, to her home in the US from San Jose. The serene, yet visceral film experience taught me some great life lessons to keep me safe during a treacherous voyage.

1. Do NOT get shit-faced. Aliens, tragedy and deaths? Yea, I guess I would go to the bottle. But if you got a job to do, a wealthy man’s daughter to get home it’ll probably be best not to take those shots.

2. Keep your valuables with you. Do not lend out your stuff and definitely don’t leave it unattended. That’s how sh!t gets stolen or lost, and you don’t want to have another burden on your mind when you’re just trying to survive.

3. Hear something? Then GTFO. It’s always the people who stick around wondering “oh, what’s that rustle in bushes?” that end up dead.

4. Turn off the lights and television. If you don’t want your presence known turn off the damn electricity!

5. Have a Trauma-Buddy. I’m pretty sure if Andrew and Samantha didn’t have each other they’d probably get killed or have a complete breakdown from all the stress of the venture. The voyage just wouldn’t have worked out as lovely as it did without the two as a pair.

So just follow these rules if you’re ever caught in an alien infested zone with someone you have strong sexual tension with… I’m sure you’ll pull out alright and actually will have some sort of revelation at the end of your travels.

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