What's with that.....

downtown OKC

scenes from the Oklahoma panhandle

Obviously I was just a passenger here, but I look really happy huh?

you will understand these pictures better after reading the hub

read the hub

While on a recent road trip I was driving home and got bored. I began some deep thinking while driving down the highway at 70 mph. It was perfect timing I know. My husband was with me but he fell asleep and left me to my own devices, which is never a good idea. I should be supervised at all times, but especially while driving. Anyway I got to thinking about life's biggest mysteries, or at least life's biggest mysteries in my mind. I have decided to share my deep thoughts with all my hub friends and anyone who happens to stumble upon this hub and takes the time to read it. Maybe it will inspire deep thinking for those who read it or maybe just maybe I can get some answers. Really that's what this hub is all about, I need answers people, and I need them now.

Ok so now you might be wondering what kind of deep thoughts could go on in that head of hers, and that is a great question. They are not all deep thoughts, in reality they are pretty shallow thoughts but that does not supress my need to know some answers, to here it goes.

What is with those coffee stirer sticks? Seriously, WTF? Do they actually stir anything? Everytime I see those stupid hard plastic little sticks I wonder who is the genius behind this product? Really I think he is a genius, not because he invented this stupid little stick, but because he convinced the world that we need these things to stir our coffee, that's just genius in my book. I don't think they work, I have used them and by the time I get my sugar stirred into my coffee I have made a huge trench in the bottom of my styrofoam coffee cup that threatens the structural integrity of cup to let scalding hot coffee pour out and scald my tender thighs. I would then have to sue McDonalds like the old lady did many years ago. So anyway if anyone knows who invented this device please let me know, I might one day decided to invent some stupid little thing like the stir stick and I would like to know who to thank for my inspiration when I am rich and famous.

Ok now this makes me wonder why is coffee served so hot? What is the purpose of it being so hot? I guess if I was a felon doing hard time in prison I might welcome coffee so hot that I could poor it on the steel bars that had me caged in and make my escape, but otherwise I just don't understand why the average Joe needs and extraordinary hot cup of Joe. OK, I think I might have the answer to this one, after miles and miles of thinking this through the answer I came up with is this, it's to burn your taste buds so badly that you won't have any idea that the food you are about to eat has the same taste and consistency of a cardboard box. I know you are probably thinking I am crazy, You think to yourself I love those fast food chains, I can't seem to get enough, the food is great, it's fast, and economical. Ok, I understand where you are coming from, I too like those fast food chains, yes, I eat there on occasion, and I enjoy a big mac or french fries, but my taste buds have been burned. They have not just been burned once or twice, no they have been burned several times. My taste buds now have scar tissue that has built up so bad that it is hard to tell gourmet food from a fast food burger. Don't believe me, why else would these chains being selling billions of burgers that taste like cardboard? I just cannot think of any other reason, if any of you can please feel free to post an answer in the comments.

Speaking of inventions (see the third paragraph), my daughter and I invented a driving game many years ago. I always forget about the game as soon as I get home but we have lots of fun playing the game while traveling. I have often thought of marketing the game and seeing if I can make my millions, but I have a few worries. You see this game may upset a few people. My daughter and I call this game road kill bingo. We make little cards that have animals that are relative to the area we are traveling through, for instance we could not use an armadillo except for traveling through Texas and Oklahoma, or tarantulas for for desert states etc. Now while traveling we try to idenify any road kill and the first person to spot it will then be able to mark off the spot on their bingo card. The first person to fill out their card completely wins the game. I really don't know if I could make any money off of this game, but it is still a fun game to play while traveling. So what do you think of my invented game?

Now I am going to let you in on another deep thought of mine, and you thought I couldn't have come up with anymore after debating those first ones, but it was a long drive home, and I was bored. So here it goes. What genius decided to make the ramps going on and off the freeway in the opposite direction that you are intending to go. I admit that not all of the ramps are this way, but believe me I ran into a few like this and I just couldn't help but wonder why? What is the point in this, and even better why don't they give you much warning? Many times I needed to turn left to go right, or right to go left, why? Why can't I just go left if I want to turn left, and why not go right if I want to turn right? Why do I have to make a huge circle to get almost exactly where I started out at? I wonder if some person isn't taping people driving down these freeways and laughing his ass off when people get confused about which direction they need to turn to get to the place they need to go. The worst part about all of this is that you get a sign stating that you need to make a right hand turn to go to your left a block before you actually have to make the turn. if you have ever driven a huge SUV during rush hour traffic then you know that it is not an easy maneuver to pull off. I am lucky though as I live in a state that has very friendly people, many of these people were very helpful and honked to let me know that they had an inch clearing between them and the car in front of them and that I should try to fill that void with my 18 foot SUV, and then after I filled that void they then gave me a one fingered wave signaling their approval of my driving skills. I know that if it had not been for those generous people I could have driven miles out of my way trying to get in the right lane for my left hand turn. If anyone knows who or why engineered the freeways this way, I would really like to know who he is so that I may show him some of the generosity that my fellow travelers have shown me.

Ok people, that is all for my deep thoughts, I eventually remembered the camera on my phone and occupied my time with that for awhile. I guess this would be a great spot for a disclaimer so here it is. Warning the hub you have just read may give you nightmares, gas, a headache, paralysis, intestinal blockage, neurosis, psoriasis, anal leakage, explosive diarrhea, and you may require therapy. You should have read this disclaimer first but obviously you did not because the guy the same guy who is filming people on the freeway is filming you too and he knows that you read the content of this hub first so do not contact me if you experience any of the symptoms mentioned above, as it's your own damn fault. Now have a great day!



More by this Author

  • how  to pick a wedgie
    84

    The following may be offensive to the prudish and not funny individual. If you are one of these people please read something else as this may not be for you! Wedgies, the bain of women everywhere. It's not bad enough...

  • the art of picking your nose and how not to get caught
    60

    To pick or not to pick, is that the question? The answer to that quetion is pick. According to a study done in 1995 requesting information from 1000 randomly selected adults about nose picking, defined as the insertion...

  • Hottest male actors
    275

    I wanted to make a list of hottest male actors. There seem to be so many out there about females. Thought us girls could use a female perspective. These are just a few I like. Orlando Bloom- Trilogy hottie-I first...


Comments 38 comments

The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 7 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

I have all of the above, but I put it down to the Subway I recently ate.

Cheers gwendymom


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 7 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

You hit me right at home, gwendymom. I heard McDonald's makes its coffee super hot to kill all the germs so they don't get sued. I even did a hub on Stella Liebeck, who had that little coffee accident and filed suit. Highway engineering is also one of my pet peeves that I've written about. I always blame the mess on the reality that no kid who wants to be an engineer dreams of building smart, safe highways -- that want to build beautiful bridges and skyscrapers, leaving the highways to the dropouts. Thanks for a fun hub.


countrywomen profile image

countrywomen 7 years ago from Washington, USA

Gwendy- That road kill game surely isn't for me. I try to close my eyes when I am not driving or drive around it if possible when I am driving. Another hilarious hub.


hubber-2009 profile image

hubber-2009 7 years ago from India

innovative of making others read your entire page by showing the picture with comments - understand only if you read the full page..


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Gwendy, funny stuff here. I don't have the answers, seek your own gold toad.


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

Driving the panhandle of Oklahoma will do that to you....


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

We call it Road Pizza....G-Ma :O) Hugs & Peace


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

TOF, I am glad that you have decided to blame the subway sandwich instead of my hub. Thanks for reading and sorry about the side affects.

William F. Torpey, To kill all the germs? Really? I have never heard of germs in coffee, I never really thought about it. Where do they come from? Are they in all coffee? Are they dangerous? I think I might be having a side effect, crap, this is not good.

I think you are right about those engineers, if I were an engineer I would want to build a pretty bridge or building too, not some lame freeway. Thanks for reading, I'll have to check out your hubs now, you have piqued my interest.

OH CW, it's just a game, and really you can't feel bad for something you didn't do. I mean I would feel bad if I had run them over but if I didn't do it then there is nothing I could have done to prevent the animal from becoming roadkill, but I am sick and twisted.

Hubber-2009, thanks, for reading and commenting and saying I am innovative.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

CC, do you think he will have the answers? Will I have to rub him like Aladin's lamp? Is he a horny toad? Hmm, more things to ponder.

Yes it will proud mom, yes it will.

G-ma, road pizza huh, that's cute.

 


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Gwendy, coffee needs to brew at about 245degrees to get the best flavor out of the bean. there one answer. And the engineers that design highways are from the near dropout phase, that's tow and what's the other one? Eric Finkle invented coffe stir sticks for fast food establishments with the idea they would poke holes in the cups because they wouldn't accept his cup because it was better and stir stick proof.

Anymore, just rub away hun.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Ok.  First, I loved the kind folks in OK and your description of how they help you merge into their lane.  That was a laugh riot!

Next, I don't have the answers, and in truth there may not be any, but here's my two cents.  The coffee is hot so it will still be hot when the buyer gets to their destination and finally drinks the coffee.  Never mind that no one does this and everybody wants to drink it immediately.

Highway exits: They would probably tell you it has to do with terrain, etc., but I think it's more expensive, takes more money, equals more employment, means more federal money--which then can be siphoned into politicians pockets.

Coffee stirrers: Ok. What CC said might be correct. At least I'm sure that's the STORY. Really, the guy is a sales genius, and convinced the fast food joints that his stirrers would work just fine and only cost them half as much. So forget about them plastic, stupid, expensive spoons. Use my plastic twigs instead! Hell, that's another penny in your pocket!

About the game.  I think you're onto something.  Not the game really, cause it wouldn't really work too well.  I, for one, don't see that much road kill.  But...you make it a gag gift with great packaging.  Instead of a bingo type game, have it based on a point system, and include animals that you would never see, like a bear is worth more than a possum.  In Washington D.C., a Senator is worth more than a state rep.  You could also have places like Australia and Canada, so you can now have kangaroo and moose.  In California, a movie star is worth more than a dumb blonde.  You get the idea.  It's funny by itself.  You don't have to play it.  You'll make a million!

Anyway, be sure to remember me when you are rich.  Fun hub, and nice to see you around!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

CC, thanks for posting your answers. It still makes me wonder why after they brew the coffee that they do not let it cool down. Seriously it's rediculous. Damn near dropout engineers, they really piss me off. No wonder there is so much road rage. That last one makes sense.

CR, you know I love the folks from Oklahoma, they are my people, they are the best, friendliest group of people in the world, and I truly mean that.

Exits and ramps have gotten out of control. Maybe I can start a protest.

Maybe he is right, I don't know, that's why I have turned to my fellow hubbers for help. Yes I probably could have used my computer to look this stuff up on the net but really I haven't published a hub in awhile and this way it's more fun.

CR, you might be on to something to, and when I market this new game I will make sure that you get a mention for the input, but don't expect any royalty checks. My daughter wants them all and she is mean and scares me.

Thanks for reading and stopping by, it's always good to hear from you too, an no it isn't often enought that we get to hang out here on HP anymore. It seems that the group has fallen apart. Maybe we can get them back, I miss everyone.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

I smoke weed GM, that's my excuse for similar thoughts, what's yours? If its illegal, I hope you plan to share.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

G'day gwendymom, we have not progressed passed the wooden stirrers, at least they come in handy as tooth picks.

Nice interesting country side you have there? Can you explain to me why it is called the "pan handle"


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Ag: If I may answer for Gwendy, it's the part of the state--top left--that is shaped like the handle of a pan on a map. In Missouri, we have the bootheel, because the lower right corner is shaped like the heel of a boot.


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

This type of deep thoughts tend to come to me in the bathroom, which doesn't have such spectacular views. I shudder to think what deep thoughts would come to me on the long and vast OK roads! Thumbs up and thanks for my morning laugh!


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

G'day Christoph. I'll take a closer look at the Atlas, thanks for the info.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

Ok Chris thats understood. Next question why is it called "the sooner state"?


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

Thanks for the roadtrip! Although I may need to make a citizens arrest if you were driving 70 in a 60 mile zone. ;)

Ah those stupid sticks. Would it be so hard to just put a little spoony thing on the end to assist in stirring? Geez. Or maybe make them out of something that doesn't end up getting all bendy in hot liquid? lol!

Wait, didn't agvulpes say they have wooden stirrers down under? What's with that? I've only seen plastic ones. Hmpf. This is probably a plot to make Americans insane. :D

About those on/off ramps...my husband spent a number of years as an engineer at the Pentagon, and all I can say is there could possibly be a connection of some kind.

Fun hub Gwendy! :D


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Gwendy, Ag needs an American history lesson here. Go ahead and tell him what 'sooner' means if ya know. If need be rub me for the answer, but you're the Okie.


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 7 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

I haven't seen any of the wooden stirry things in my bit of "Down Under" just the useless placcy thingies. And the coffee in the polystyrene cups is just as scolding, and equally tasteless. When I was doing a lot of driving my rule of thumb was to look for a place with a number of semi's in front (That's artic's or truck trailer units) Long distance truckies get to know the best places, with good food, real coffee and metal spoons (or plastic ones to go.)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

GT, my excuse is that I care for several small children for a living, I also have two chihuahuas that drink my coffee when I am not looking, so if if small children and chihuahuas jacked up on caffeine won't make you go crazy I don't know what will. I would love to share, the kids need lunch made and they need to be entertained, so that they don't kill the chi's, or maybe it's the other way around, either way their is always something to be done.

Ag, I am intrigued by these wooden stirers, do they have a big stirring end? Toothpicks huh, I guess they wouldn't huh. Dang, I was going to have you send me some so that I could show the American people that we really can have better stirers, it's been done in other countries, back to the drawing board for me I guess.  BTW, CR answered your question correctly, I thought we had been over that before.

CR, thanks for answering that question for me, I had to turn in early last night, I was exhausted from the weekend. I think I am mostly recovered now.

Elena, I get those deep thoughts in the bathroom too, but whenever I try to write them down all I have is toilet paper and the pen seems to push right through it. I should buy stronger toilet paper, or I guess I could keep a writing pad by it, but I'm sure my family would then leave me irritating notes like when are you going to feed us, and I need money for clothes and shoes, or I need immediate medical attention. Honestly I just don't want to hear it, much less read it.

 


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

AG, I have copied this from wikipedia as it is still early in the morning and my brain is not fully awake yet. Hope this helps. BTW, the part where I live is also called no mans land. I will explain that one in a hub.

The term Sooners was used to describe settlers who entered the Unassigned Lands, located in the current state of Oklahoma, before President Grover Cleveland officially proclaimed them open to settlement with the Indian Appropriations Act of 1889 on March 2, 1889. The name derived from the "sooner clause" of the Indian Appropriation Act, which stated that no one should be allowed to enter and occupy the land prior to the opening time and that such people would be denied rights to illegally claimed land.[1]

Sooners were often deputy marshals, land surveyors, railroad employees, and others who were able to legally enter the territory early to mark out choice pieces of land for themselves or others.[2] Some sooners crossed into the territory illegally at night and were originally called "moonshiners" because they entered "by the light of the moon." These sooners would hide in ditches at night and suddenly appear to stake their claim after the land run started, hours ahead of legal settlers.[1]

The term Boomer relating to Oklahoma refers to participants in the the "Boomer Movement," white settlers who believed the Unassigned Lands were public property and open to anyone for settlement, not just Indian tribes. Their reasoning came from a clause in the Homestead Act of 1862, which said that any settler could claim 160 acres (0.65 km2) of public land.[3] Some boomers entered and were removed more than once by the United States Army.[citation needed]

Those who observed the official start of the land run and began the race for free land often found choice sections of land already occupied by sooners or, in some cases, by boomers. Problems with sooners continued with each successive land run, with as much as 50% of available land taken by sooners in an 1895 land run.

Litigation between legitimate land-run participants and sooners continued well into the 20th century, and eventually the United States Department of the Interior was given ultimate authority to settle the disputes.[1]

In 1908 the University of Oklahoma adopted "Sooners" as the nickname of their football team (after having first tried "Rough Riders" and "Boomers"). Eventually Oklahoma became known as "The Sooner State."

 


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

I'll jump in on the "Sooner" thing. When the gov't was giving out homesteads to anyone who staked one off, they had everyone interested line up and wait for the signal to go. Those who were impatient went ahead and went "sooner" than the others, granting us the name, "sooner" state. I'm still a little confused though as to why one of our best state universities wanted a cheater for a mascot.

We have reinactments every year. You should join us for one. Quite entertaining.


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

Sorry, Gwendy. I guess you and I were typing at the same time.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Pam, I do need you to make a citizens arrest, Someone needs to save me from myself. I agree about putting a spoon part on the end. I believe there is enough plastic already in the stirer that it wouldn't take much extra effort or material to do it. If you have noticed they are hollow like a straw and I am sure that everyone has either performed or witnessed the act I am about to describe to you. As a kid I thought it was a tiny kid sized straw, it was cute in my cup of hot cocoa, and I took a big sip from that little straw. I not only burned my taste buds but I burned my throat and nasal cavity as I tried to cough up the hot molten liquid. I remember thinking what kind of cruel joke were adults trying to pull on innocent children. I then tried to warn my fellow child kind, but they didn't listen, they said why would adults be so stupid as to use a thing like that, something that is supposed to stir their coffee but instead makes holes in their cups that will then burn them, or at the least make a sticky mess on anything that the coffee comes in contact with. They also said that adults would never give something like that to an unsuspecting child who would then think it was a straw and burn their innerds. It's ludicrous they said. Bet they believe me now.

It's a conspiracy Pam, trust me.

CC, can I rub you for the answers?

TOF, good call man, good call. I shall start seeking out truck drivers, I mean truck stops.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Proud Mom, it's ok, I need all the help I can get.


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

Probably not from me, though. :-))


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Why not from you Proud Mom?


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

You'll find out if you read about my hub about not having the common sense of a goat. It's all true. Sad, but true. :-)


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

great hub GM - I don't understand the really hot coffee thing either but believe me the tea is just as hot but tastes even worse - if that is possible...re the wooden tea stirring sticks ; they look like icy pole sticks - nothing special on the end to resemble a spoon- just the basic icy pole stick but at least they don't bend with the heat and they are environmentally friendly!

When we went on long distance travels by car we used to play a game that we made up - which involved trying to match the first letters of one of the license plates travelling on the same piece of dirt as us, with say the name of a book or a film or even someone's own name - kept everyone busy for hours and often with no results - bit of a hard game but fun... and passed the time. thanks for your thoughts on these difficult problems we all have to endure, somehow makes it easier to know we are all in the same boat! ...cheers

ps loved the description of your fellow travellers and their thoughtful consideration of you in your hour of need...especially the one fingered salutation of congratulations they gave as an appreciative honouring of your superior driving skills...


The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 7 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

Sorry, aj's right. We do have those Popsicle stick things in NZ too. I usually see them in the offices of large firms and government depts. The American food chains mostly serve processed cardboard in polystyrene with itsy-bitsy plastic time wasters.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Ajcor, Thank you, I was really hoping that there was an stir stick alternative in other countries but it seems that the man convinced the world that his stir stick was the way to go. I like that game you guys play, sounds like fun and am sure it would pass the time. Yes, we are all in the same boat. Glad you liked my discription on my fellow travelers. They really were helpful. :)

TOF, you're right!


Constant Walker profile image

Constant Walker 7 years ago from Springfield, Oregon

I can answer the coffee sticks WTF:  They are made and sold by an obvious marketing genius.  Think about it; you know they cost fractions of pennies to manufacture, are sold in bulk, EVERYBODY worldwide buys them (that is food industry) and, best of all, they don't even have to really do anything!

Genius.

I want stock in in the coffee sticks company.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

CW, I want stock in that company too. He really is a genius. Now I have to think of some totaly useless thing that I can sell to the world. We can get together on this and split some profits CW. I might need help, I haven't thought of anything useless enough to grab the worlds attention.


Calling Crow 6 years ago

Haha!!! I got at least 3 good haha's out of this hub LOL!!! One particularly louder than the rest, but all good none the less!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 6 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Glad you enjoyed Calling Crow.


sip trunking Campbell 4 years ago

I'm going later this week on a 6 1/2 hour road trip to visit family. I'm planning to take my 4 month old puppy along with me in her travel kennel. Any tips on traveling with a puppy?

http://www.itel.ca

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working