Who Just is this Wilma Proops - Agony Aunt to the Stars?

Shut Your Gob and Listen to ME!

She lives in luxury hotels and exclusive health spas in England, Italy, Majorca, Madeira and Tenerife. She stays with millionaire friends - including Dick Pringle, the new chef on the celebrity block in London, New York, Paris, Sydney and Trench Town. But how did this woman from a Liverpool slum with a passion for solid gold bling, once the landlady of a notorious Merseyside pub, rise to these heights? How did Wilma Proops recover from one of the most embarrassing incidents of the 21st century. In this article, based on rushes from her hotly awaited autobiography Shut Your Gob and Listen to ME!, we try to explain.

Wilma Proops’ Meteoric Rise

Wilma Proops came to the world’s attention during an unfortunate incident, images of which appeared on the front of gutter press publications everywhere. Our heroine was intent on advising David Blaine, who at the time was in his Perspex Box, suspended above the River Thames in London.

How it Happened…

Unperturbed and witnessed by a score of hungry paparazzi, Wilma Proops, scaled the access scaffolding and climbed onto the box to ensure Blaine received her advice. A remarkable accomplishment for a woman of her advanced years but, as she explained later “the prat needed to listen”.

Cause and Effect…

Some reports concluded that Wilma was drunk at the time of the incident (the early hours) and although Wilma admitted to “having a few” she maintains until this day, emphatically, she was not “worse for wear”. Indeed, Ms Proops lays the blame of what happened next firmly with Blaine.

Blaine to Blame!

Blaine completely ignored Wilma as she banged on the ceiling of his solitary home in an effort to get his attention. This caused Wilma to trip over and, unfortunately being without undergarments, it was then that she revealed her bare arse to cameras and via them the readers of gutter-press tabloids throughout the world.

  • I know I should have been wearing drawers” she said “but they don’t go with a red hat...

What Happened Next…

Lesser people would have withdrawn from the public eye but Wilma is not a lesser person. She decided to take her own advice and rise above it.

  • So what, people knew what my arse looked like?!” she often quips about the incident.
  • I learnt a lot from the Blaine furore” she said in her autobiography. “Most importantly I learnt that celebrities appreciated and wanted my advice but they didn’t want it delivered in such a public manner. I’m much more discreet nowadays” Wilma reflected.

Do you need Wilma's Services?

Wilma now runs the ONLY Comedy Problem Page in the world. Celebrities can contact her discreetly via email for advice. “Ordinary people

  • can send me their comedy problems via www.ComedyMoment.co.uk or read my Problem Page – I don’t charge ordinary people . . . but if I discover, one more celebrity pretending to be Joe Blogs or Sam Someone, so they can get my advice free and not for the price I charge Elton et al I’ll forget about being discreet and sell your dirty secrets to the press. You know who you are!
  • www.WilmaProops.blogspot.com
  • you can also contact Wilma Proops by leaving a comment below

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Comments 2 comments

Sally P 7 years ago

I was doing some boring research when I came across this - perhaps it's me but it is the funniest thing I've read in ages - thanks!

Cresida de Minge 6 years ago

I just love your Comedy Problem Page it gives better advice than the real thing

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