Why I Could Never Be Famous
Irene Cara - Fame
Brad Paisley - Celebrity
I have to admit sometimes I get interested in what is going on in the lives of the famous. This stems from having no life of my own. Well actually it comes from not being able to fall asleep and getting hooked unfortunately on the show TMZ. The show comes on late enough that it actually puts me to sleep but not before I get a glimpse of the current goings on of celebrities. The format is fast paced enough that if I don’t know about or truly do not care about who they are talking about I can wait a few moments and they will move on to someone else. Watching this show and one other like it I have figured out quite quickly I might add that I could never ever be famous.
FIRST – The first reason why I could not be famous is because I have no special skill. I mean I can sing but I am certain no one but me wants to hear my voice. And I know that no one would buy any of my albums. My talents are minimal and limited to Tap Dancing (I am no Savion Glover) and juggling unless you count mothering but even that talent is questionable. So there is no great talent I can offer the world or that I think the world would want to see. In addition I do not have famous or wealthy parents that I can glean off of (think Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian).
SECOND – The second reason why I could not be famous is because Paparazzi would have a field day with me. They would have fun with the things I wear the way I eat, walk, talk, who I hang out with how beautiful I look after a sleepless night with no makeup, bed head and sweats (Hey! That’s how I roll). I would constantly be on the “bad” lists doing anything and everything wrong. “Did you see what she was wearing?” “Did you hear what she said?” “Did you see what she did?” All of this negative attention would be way to much for me or my many fans to handle.
THIRD – I am a bit of a tom boy so I rarely dress up wear jewelry or makeup. Plus I am never in fashion. I dress in my own style and way. I am most comfortable in jeans and sweats so I am certain that I would be caught in those “what not to wear” pictures or just completely mocked for what I have on. I also have a bit of a potty mouth, I rarely say the right things and I am not social. I really don’t like people all that much oh yes I am a people watcher but that is because of the distance thing not the closeness part.
FOURTH – I have no control over my facial expressions; no poker face at all. If I saw something I did not like you would be able to see that on my face. If I did not like someone or thought that what they said was totally ridiculous you would be able to read right through me. Not to mention that I am prone to verbal outbursts if I feel that something is not right. All I need is to be caught on camera with a disgusted look on my face or making unnecessary comments. This goes along with saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
FIFTH – I have a very shady past. I do no think I would fair well with someone digging through my past. I have family members that have been tabloid fodder and I would not want to go through that again. And of course there is my possible FBI File. Yes I am not perfect and I am certain that someone could dig up something on me or a family member to try and disgrace me. So it is safe to say that politicians have nothing on me. To save myself and my family I would definitely have to stay out of the limelight.
In addition to these five reasons as to why I cannot be famous there is a sixth and more important reason which is that I really do not want to be famous. I enjoy my quiet life which is for the most part camera free. There are of course the times when my husband and even my son try to take a picture of me at the most inopportune time, but I do not have to worry for the moment (thankfully) that those pictures make it to the tabloids. So I think I will stay un-famous and out of the limelight for right now; I like it that way.
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