Why Should You Love Cowboys? (Top 10 Reasons)
I’m certainly not talking about the Dallas Cowboys of the National Football League. No, I’m talking about REAL cowboys. Those cowboys who made America what it is today, the greatest nation on earth.
The most infamous cowboy on the Dallas Cowboys was Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson. His claim to fame was when, prior to a Super Bowl with the Pittsburgh Steelers, he said in an interview that Terry Bradshaw couldn’t spell “cat” if you spotted him the “c” and the “a.” Bradshaw was MVP and Henderson admitted he was on cocaine when he said what he said. Henderson later went to prison for an incident involving crack cocaine, a gun, two teenage girls, and whatever else. But since Henderson won a $28 million in the Lotto Texas jackpot he has been able to afford a good lawyer and stay out of jail. Not to mention being able to afford all the Coke (or Pepsi) anybody could possibly want.
The only cowboys I like who play football are ones who look like the first picture. Well enough about a counterfeit cowboy. Let’s get on with the top 10 reasons why you should love real cowboys.
(All photos displayed are in the public domain as best as can be determined.)
Audie Murphy. So who makes a better cowboy than a Medal of Honor winner? In World War II, Murphy not only trashed a bunch of enemy tanks, he killed over 240 German soldiers and wounded and captured many more.
Murphy tallied even more bad guys than that in 33 western movies. Posse from Hell in 1961 is my favorite. At first, I thought it might be about the atheists who post on the HubPages forum. Murphy plays Banner Cole who tracks these desperadoes who shot his buddy the sheriff and kidnapped a young woman.
Well, he of course takes care of the villains, but the woman is now damaged goods. Banner talks her out of suicide and prostitution while everyone else displays revulsion concerning her. At the end of the flick he says, “There is always someone or something worthwhile. We just have to look hard enough.” Now there’s a cowboy with a heart!
Gene Autry/Roy Rogers. These two must be mentioned in the same breath. Some say Gene sang better, some say Roy sang better, but nobody says there was ever any better singing cowboy than one of the two.
Gene and Roy had a lot in common besides music, guns, and cool horses. They died in the same year. Some say Champion was the best cowboy’s horse ever, some say Trigger was the best cowboy’s horse ever, but nobody ever says there was ever any better cowboy’s horse than one of these two. Yeah, well, Tonto did vote for the Lone Ranger’s horse Silver, but Roy Rogers had Trigger stuffed and kept saying to Tonto years after both Trigger and Silver had passed on, “Whose horse looks better now?”
For some great cowpoke tunes I would suggest The Old Corral in which you will find both Gene and Roy warbling and wrangling. Some know that Autry owned the baseball Angels, but few know that he left money to the ball club in his will for the express purpose of signing Albert Pujols.
Clint Eastwood. Yeah, we all know about Clint’s awesome spaghetti westerns and Unforgiven.
But what about Rawhide? Keep them doggies movin Rawhide. I watched an episode recently entitled “Incident of the Reluctant Bridegroom.” Rowdy (Clint) drinks drugged beer and wakes up only to find himself married to a jealous saloon owner’s girlfriend.
This prompted me to recall that Clint had a girlfriend named Sondra Locke who co-starred with him in several flicks. After they broke up, she sued him for this and that and whatever. His response was that Clyde, his orangutan pal in Every Which Way but Loose, kissed much better than she did.
The Three Stooges. I mean, who are funnier cowboys than Larry, Curly, and Moe?
The boys starred in The Outlaws is coming in 1965. Annie Oakley is in the movie, but will get to more on her later. The bad guys in this one plan to kill all the buffalo with the intent of making the Indians very angry. The funniest scene is when the three stooges sneak into the antagonists’ hideout while they are sleeping and glue their guns to their holsters. Now this is a true story. When the filming was finished Moe said to the cast, “Okay, everyone is invited to my place in Bel Air for a buffalo barbecue!” Now that’s a funny cowboy!
I just watched Rockin’ in the Rockies(1945) starring Larry, Curly, and Moe. The boys prospect for gold while matching wits with rustlers while trying to break into Broadway. Some awesome tunes in this one and it is hilarious. The owner of the ranch where they are staying has a good line: “A fifty dollar bill would look like manna from heaven.” That sounds like a good line for a “professional” woman.
John Wayne. Who but “The Duke” could dress like a bunny but still look like a cowboy?
In John Wayne’s storied cowboy career, he often came to the rescue of fallen women. Do you remember Dallas in the wonderful John Ford western Stagecoach perhaps? Again, let me reiterate, we are NOT talking about the NFL team that has won nothing but ridicule in recent years. (Go Steelers!)
Anyway, so in this movie Ringo (Wayne) proposes to Dallas before he knows about her sordid past. That he discovers after they get off the stagecoach and he walks her to the sorry-looking brothel where she lives. I wonder if it was the red light over the door that gave him the clue.
Rock Hudson. Not! Sure, “The Rock” did share the spotlight with “The Duke” in a few westerns. But does anybody think he truly resembled a cowboy? As if.
Rock was much better playing an Indian. I mean, he could take his shirt off without being too obvious. And the loincloth made it much easier to get your weapon out for a quickie ‘er I mean get your weapon out quickly.
Yeah, Rock was definitely the (red) man in Taza, Son of Cochise. The very best thing about this movie was that it was originally shown in 3-D. You had these battle scenes where some ticked off painted Injuns rushed right into the screen wanting to take some scalps. Many women in the audience would rip off their wigs and scream, “Here, take this!”
Jim Brown. Right, the best running back ever in the NFL. He retired from football in order to become a cowboy, a more noble profession.
There were many famous black cowboys in the old west, like Nat Brown (also known as Deadwood Dick), Bass Reeves, and Bill Picket who invented bulldogging.
But Jim Brown starred with Raquel Welch. That makes him numero uno. 100 Rifles was one of the very first films to feature an interracial love scene. What I like best about Jim Brown was that he said, “I wish I would have been a Steeler instead of a Brown, and I never ever would have been a (Dallas) cowboy except in the movies."
Billy Curtis. Cowboys didn’t need to be big. When you’re packing heat, everybody is the same size. Now Billy was real small. A midget, in fact.
The advantage of a little cowboy is that they can walk under the swinging doors of the saloon. Also, they usually win gunfights because it is difficult to hit them.
You may remember Billy as the city father of Munchkin City in The Wizard of Oz. Or as Clint Eastwood’s little buddy in High Plains Drifter. But his real claim to cowboy fame was the leading role in THE TERROR of TINY TOWN (1938). The entire cast consisted of midgets and they rode ponies instead of horses.
Dolly Parton. Okay, she wasn’t exactly a cowboy, but she deserves mention here.
Where there are cowboys, there are cowgirls. Oh yeah, the girls could really ride and shoot too, like Annie Oakley. The cowboys didn’t mess with the cowgirls lest they get there spurs shot off.
But Dolly Parton wins the cowgirl contest because she carries the best pair of big guns. Not only that, but she taught Rambo how to sing country in Rhinestone Cowboy. No wait, that was the song by Glen Campbell, another great cowboy who deserves honorable mention for his role in True Grit.
Ronald Reagan. He put on his cowboy hat and kicked the Soviet Union’s butt.
Reagan played George Armstrong Custer in Sante Fe Trail (1940), but then he ultimately moved on to more important roles. Sometimes cowboys get shot, for real, as Reagan did in 1981, early in his presidency. But he recovered to become one of our greatest presidents.
My favorite Ronald Reagan quote is: “Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a close resemblance to the first.”
Conclusion: One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally well-read Bible. The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed in expensive clothes and adorned with fine jewelry.
As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to, or welcomed him. They were all appalled by his appearance and did not attempt to hide it. As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor: “Before you come back here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship in church.” The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.
The next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the cowboy and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.”
“I did,” replied the old cowboy.
“If you spoke to God, what did he tell you the proper attire should be for worshiping here?” asked the preacher.
“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He said He’d never been in this church.”
(The last pic is me getting ready to ride. Obviously not bareback.)
But what about bad cowboys?
I would be remiss if I didn't mention Cowboys that you should not love. There are a lot more reasons than 10, but lets start with the guns. It's fine for cowboys to carry big guns, but when Cowboys hire cheerleaders with big guns, I must strenuously object. No wonder the Cowboys suck.
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