Why Women Can't Focus
"You really can't focus." My husband said that to me the other day. I thought about it for three very long seconds, and decided he may have a point.
I think it's time all the men started to realize why, at times, most women may find focusing a little more difficult than their male counterpart.
One of the major reasons women like myself have a hard time focusing is because, quite frankly, no one will let us! I think it's a conspiracy. Someone, at sometime in history realized that women were so capable, driven, motivated and intelligent, that if a way was not found to interrupt their ability to focus, they would rule the world!
Or, at least, I like to think that.
The first obstruction in our ability to focus is men. No, not the dating of men. While that does, at times, lead to a lack of focus, I've actually discovered focus issues during dating are worse for men. Probably the only time in life when a man has issues with this is during the "courting" of a woman he loves.
They totally lose it.
That's pretty fun to watch, actually, but it's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the lack of ability to focus once you're married to a man.
Starting out doing everything is a mistake!
See, before the wedding, he's all unfocused. Once you're married, he's all good. Of course, as a new bride, it's all about showing him how much you can do for him. I really believe over-enthusiastic brides are the major cause of the male mind shutting down and totally forgetting that he ever knew how to do anything domestic. "No, honey, don't worry, I'll make your dinner every single night, don't you dare help out", "What, iron your own shirts? I wouldn't dream of letting you do that!". Somehow that translates into, for the new groom, "Don't bother filling the ice cube trays or changing the toilet paper roll."
The fact that we were willing to let him get away with as much as we did in the beginning of the marriage is never forgotten. It's counted on. Thus begins the trip into a world where you are taking care of your stuff, your bosses stuff, and now your husband's stuff too. Leaving him free to focus to the point of realizing that you're starting to lose your ability.
The second, and by far greatest reason we lose our focus, however, is children. After we have a child (or two, or more) the only time we get some semblance of time to focus on anything for more than 5 minutes is after everyone else goes to bed.
Well, to be more accurate, to sleep. Depending on how many times the kids need to use the bathroom, have another drink of water, and be tucked in, 'just one more time', can make the difference in whether or not we get quiet time before the clock starts registering time in a.m. hours.
I tried to have a conversation the other day with a friend of mine who has 4 lovely children. The conversation went somewhat along these lines:
My friend “Did I tell you what happened to me last week?”
Me “No, what...”
kids "Mom, Jason put a frog in the baby's diaper."
My friend "Jason, now you know better than that, get the frog back out of your sister's diaper"
My friend “Ok, so there I was in the middle of the...”
kid “Mom, sister has poo in her diaper, I'm not getting the frog!"
My friend "Oh, my. Hold on, I'll be right back"
5 Minutes Later...
My friend “OK, so, where was I? Oh, yeah, Harris Teeter has a great sale this week. Oh, wait, that's not it, oh, sorry, I remember, I was at Harris Teeter when...”
kid "Mom, I found another frog, it's ok if I plug in the blender, right? I'll be 5 next week."
I think you get the idea.
I wonder why we can't focus.
All in all, when you consider that a mom is usually doing no less than 5 things at one time, and thinking about the 20 things left to do, and the 30 things everyone else wants her to do, it's a wonder she doesn't sit in the corner at night with drool running down her chin. OK, well, sometimes I do, but that's a subject for another time.
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