Why Is Star Jones Back
Star Jones Needed To Stay Away - Don't Get Me Started!
Let me just say that I have never liked Star Jones...never. She just always struck me as one of those "holier than thou" types. Even when she was as big as a house she got on my nerves. She has that speech pattern reserved for people like her and one of my all time "get on my nerves" women, Phylicia Rashad. You know, they have that very metered and calculated speech that makes it seem as if they're trying so hard to sound educated while they're telling you that they're better than you. And when all the hoopla around Star Jones started (first she lost the weight, then she married the gay husband and then the whole leaving The View thing) I really didn't care. In fact I was very excited when she seemed to drop off the face of the earth and I was starting to think that even her God had had enough of Star Jones. Well, recently flipping channels, there she was, I guess guest hosting Larry King. Ugh. There she was in all her glory and she was so damn thin that I wasn't sure if she was going to even be able to push some air through her lungs to speak. I flipped channels as fast as I could and all I could think of was that Star Jones needed to stay away - Don't Get Me Started!
I guess we'll all have to rethink the gay husband thing because if he let her go on that or any show with that hair and makeup he's either not gay or he was busy sleeping with the pool boy when the spackle crew came to create that so-called look. Now before you start getting in a huff or calling me a bitter queen let me just say, "Shut it!" (My favorite new phrase to say to everyone which incidentally, no one likes). Is it my fault that she has lost so much weight with her "medical assistance" that she now looks like the Incredible Mrs. Limpett? I mean with losing all that weight all you see are those lips, buggy eyes so she's looking more and more like she needs to be in an aquarium than on my damn television set! And what are those thiny, thin, thin glasses because they aren't helping the matter one bit. She can even slap Beyonce's old weave on her head for red carpet events but someone needs to slap some sense into this woman AND give her a Krispy Kreme or something.
The thing here is that the woman does not look healthy. She doesn't need to be as heavy as she once was but I am telling you that there is a fat woman in that body just dreaming of food and the day that she can get the hell out of that "new" body of hers. Why am I so pissed off about this you may ask? It's because Star Jones is now gay thinner than me and I can't take it.
But wait, I think I may be on to something here...
I think that not only is Star Jones husband gay but I think she's a man. That's right...a gay man who was a drag queen and convinced that he had to "slim" down for his husband and that's when she decided she needed to be gay thin. Let's face it, the only way she could get all that free stuff for that wedding of hers would be if she was Jewish or gay and we all know that she isn't Jewish (Praise Jesus - you can have her we don't want her).
That's it, Star Jones is a man, baby. Okay, well maybe she's not but you have to admit there are a lot of things pointing to my theory being right and the least of which isn't the husband or the skinniness but the fact that she's actually gone out in public wearing a tiara. I'm just saying...I'm just saying that she is truly one of the most annoying people in the world and I thought that we had finally gotten rid of her. (Cue disco bass line) But now she's back, from outer space, hosting Larry King with that there look upon her face. They should have changed that stupid lock should have kept her off TV if we'd known for just one second she'd be back to bother me. Go on now GO! (Sorry for the Gloria Gaynor moment, I'm all better now). But come on, you know you don't want her here as much as I don't want her here. Can't we all agree Star Jones needed to stay away - Don't Get Me Started!
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- Some Like It Scott!
An acquired taste, like Tab cola, Some Like It Scott is one gay man's experiences with love, life and things that make him crazy, all done to a musical theatre soundtrack.
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