You'll Laugh So Hard 2!

Jokes, Funny Pictures, Comedy, Funny Videos, Bloopers

I love to laugh, and I hope you do too. You see, I turned my original You'll Laugh So Hard! hub into a series of fun, laughter filled hubs, because the original was becoming a bit too long to scroll. As you guessed, you'll find plenty of funny jokes, funny videos, comedy, funny pictures, bloopers and everything that can be called humourous right here in this laughter collection.

I've searched all over to unearth the best, funny stuff I could find just to elicit your smiles and laughter. Bookmark these hubs and come back often to see what's new in the You'll Laugh So Hard series. Enjoy!
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Joke- Makes Sense

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:

MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause, GUYnecologist, and when we have REAL trouble, it's a... HISterectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN, HIS or GUY?__________________

Joke- The Hunting Dog

Chester and Earl are going hunting.

Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."

So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice.

Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there."

Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself.

When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!"

Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too."

So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has.

The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks.

Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's leg.

Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!"

The breeder asks Earl what the dog did.

So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg.

The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more freaking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"
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Short Joke

A Sunday school teacher said to her children.

"We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"

Short Joke

A man comes home from the office, and tells his wife he had a frustrating day at work.

"Ahhhhh, tell me all about your day honey," his wife says.

The husband looks at her and says, "Well honey... I just did."

Short Joke

Are You A Redneck?

Consider this: You might just be one if your senior prom had daycare. ________________

Short Joke

Oh Gosh," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for the last twenty years!"
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Joke- Cold Turkey

A family had a parrot that was always embarrassing them by cursing. So one day, the son took the cursing parrot and put him in the freezer. Two hours later the parrot stpooed squawking.

So the son went and checked the freezer.

The parrot said, "Okay I'll stop cursing, but I have one question."

"What," replied the son.

The parrot asks, "What did the turkey do?"
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Funny Movies

French Comedy (in French)

Joke- Physician Computer

A man goes to his physician and is shocked to find that the doctor has been replaced by a super-computer. 

The computer asks him his ailments and the man says he has a sore elbow.

A drawer pops out and he is asked to urinate in it.  After a few bleeps and flashing lights the computer decides he has tennis elbow.

The man is annoyed, and decides to get one over on this machine.  So he asks his wife for a urine sample. He then mixes this with urine from his dog and from his small son and to top it off, adds some of his sperm.

He takes it to the computer-physician who again asks him for a sample.

He places his urine concoction in the drawer.

The computer makes its usual display of bleeps and flashes before telling him that his wife is pregnant, his dog has rabies, his son has chicken pox and if he doesn't stop playing with himself, he'll never get rid of his tennis elbow.

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Mr Bean Comedy

Joke- Monkey Organization

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys; all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing, but bottoms.

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Joke- Big Shot Jamaican

Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school.

He decided to come back to Jamaica because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office in New Kingston.

The first day, he saw a man coming up the passageway. He decided to make a big impression on this potential client when he arrived. As the man came to the door Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.

"No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay, tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."

The "conversation" went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled off instructions.

Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man, "I'm sorry for the delay but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied, "I'm from Cable & Wireless, the telephone company, I come to hook up your telephone."

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Joke- Prayer

Three guys had to cross a lake. The first one prayed to God for the strength, he swam across the lake, but almost died 5 times.

The second guy prayed to God for the strength and the tools, he made a boat, and rowed himself across the lake, he almost died 3 times.

The third guy prayed to God for the strength, the tools, and the brains. He turned into a girl, walked 4 yards, and crossed the bridge!
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Blonde Joke

A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming "lifesaver! lifesaver!"

The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks "cherry or grape?"

_________________________

Joke- Lil Janice

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping.

"Tell me Janice, who created the universe?"

When Janice didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

"God Almighty!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good" and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Janice didn't even stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"Jesus Christ!" shouted Janice and the teacher said, "Very good," and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"

Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Janice jumped up and shouted,

"If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and stick it up your arse!"

... the teacher fainted!

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Knock Knock Joke

Knock, knock
Who's there?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Nevermind, it's pointless.

Short Joke

A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear,

"I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks."

He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones.

He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says,

"Here...go paint my house."  ___________________

Joke- Go Fishing

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"

"One," said the young salesman. "Only one?" blurted the boss, "most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"

"Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one.

I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines.

Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"

"No," answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing."

Moral of the story: You only need one good line to land a big fish!

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Joke- Sixteen

A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting.

He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"

"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.

"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"

The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."

"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.

"I'm nineteen," he replied.

"And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be sixteen."

___________________________

Poor Kitty!

Joke- Try To Have Fun

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres! So I called him a piece of horse crap.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.
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Joke- $50 Dollars is Fifty Dollars!

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, And every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' ; Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, And fifty dollars is fifty dollars'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, But still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, But you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!
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I hope you enjoyed this hub. Check out You'll Laugh So Hard 3! Like to share your own favourite jokes, funny pictures, videos, comical poems, thoughts, books or websites with everyone? You can do so by way of leaving them in your comments below.

callmefoxxy.com, my pen is a mighty sword!
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Comments 15 comments

Michael Shane profile image

Michael Shane 6 years ago from Gadsden, Alabama

Totally awesome & funny stuff you got here....Loved it & bookmarked it & rated ya' up! Everybody needs to read this hub....Thanks for the tears from laughing my butt off!


Chris Eddy111 profile image

Chris Eddy111 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

callmefoxxy, I agree wholeheartedly with Michael Shane above. I laughed so hard. Great collection.


callmefoxxy profile image

callmefoxxy 6 years ago Author

Hi Michael Shane, thanks so much! That's exactly what I hope happens when anyone reads this hub; they get a really good laugh!

callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!


callmefoxxy profile image

callmefoxxy 6 years ago Author

Hiya Chris Eddy111, thank you too! Glad you enjoyed it!

callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!


FreeShipping9 6 years ago

everybody who wants to be funny should have this :P

http://hubpages.com/entertainment/formulaforlaughq


robpeach profile image

robpeach 6 years ago from The Internet

I was going to read your hub this morning and am glad I waited. I needed a good piece of humor to end the day.

Little Janice had me rolling.

Thank you.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Oh yeah! Very funny stuff here. I liked that "magnetic (?) puzzle toy!? Very nice! Thanks Callmefoxxy! Very nice!!


callmefoxxy profile image

callmefoxxy 6 years ago Author

Hi

@robpeach. I'm so glad it brought you pleasure (smile)... Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting.

Hey

@Micky Dee. Yeah isn't that magnetic puzzle thing just the neatest thing you'd ever seen? It was so cool to watch I just had to add it. Always lovely to have you drop in Micky! How you do'in?

callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!


callmefoxxy profile image

callmefoxxy 6 years ago Author

JOKE - A Brazilian

A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying and says to her husband while sobbing "That's horrible! So many men dying that way!"

Confused the husband replies "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says,

"So how many is a Brazilian?"

callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I know a Brazilian must be a lot!


Chris Eddy111 profile image

Chris Eddy111 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Got my laugh right here again foxxy. Thanks so much. I want the Willie Waller 2006, Uncle Tom, for every room in my house. Merci.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Yep- I had to watch the videos again. The manly bloopers hurt me though. I know what they're going to do and still "they hurt". Thanks Callmefoxxy!


Bob Etier profile image

Bob Etier 6 years ago from Western North Carolina

What a great hub! Love it! I'll have to check out more of your stuff!


big bed ten 6 years ago

i like mars :)


weirdo 4 years ago

I didn't laugh a bit this was rubbish!!!!!!!!

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