You'll Laugh So Hard 4!
Jokes, Funny Pictures, Comedy, Funny Videos, Bloopers and more...
Welcome to You'll Laugh So Hard 4! If you've been following along, then you've probably been laughing really hard to some good jokes from my laughter series You'll Laugh So Hard!
Isn't laughing such a joyous experience? It lightens the mood
and lifts the soul. It's such a simple pleasure, and so amazingly
good for the heart. Even the serious muscle ache that follows such a good laugh is great. Well here's one more... Enjoy!
Funny Video-Mr Bean
Joke- Don't Cows Have Horns
"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city.
The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone.
"Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.
But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse!"
Joke- Quick Response
Did you hear about the guy who called the police, because he saw some people stealing things out of the shed in his back yard?
The police asked him if they were in his house and he said, "No."
After hearing that, the police then said that all their units were busy and that he should lock his doors. They would send someone as soon as they could.
The guy hung up, waited 30 seconds and called back.
"I just called you about the people stealing things out of my shed. Well, don't worry about it, I shot them."
In less than five minutes, police cars screeched into his driveway, sirens blaring, and caught the thieves red-handed.
"I thought you said you shot them," said the officer.
"I thought you said no one was available," he replied.
Joke- Don't Drink
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.
"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town, so that they can breed
their own stock.
They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph
office and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her
that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer
to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, 'It's just 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull.'
Why there are no dinosaurs
Great Christian Jokes Gifts
Joke- Electric Train
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen
listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the
living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you
sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the
last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your
asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
Joke- 10 Kisses
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk.
"That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A blonde named her two dogs Timex and Rolex. A friend asked why she named them that. "Well, duh," she replied, "because they're watchdogs, of course."
Joke- Devil...Wife...Same Ting!
Sunday morning in Bronx, New York. The church is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit.
The doors burst open; a black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst.
People jump out of the pews and run outdoors screaming - all except for two people.
One person is the Pastor, the other is a Jamaican.
Satan is a bit perplexed.
He points to the Pastor and says, "You! I can understand why you didn't run away, you are in your Lord's house, you preach against me everyday and you aren't afraid of me.
But YOU (points to the Jamaican), why didn't you run out scared like everyone else?"
The Jamaican calmly crosses one leg over the other and replies,
"See one, see de other! I been married to you sista fe 36 years!
Joke- Life After Death
One day, a boss asked one of his employees, "Do you believe in life after death?"
"Yes, sir," replied the new employee.
"I thought you might," said the boss, "because yesterday after you left to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"
These Make Great Gifts
Joke- Old Wisdom
After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches.
So one evening he decided to go down and see how things were holding up.
Much to his surprise, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a group of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until
The old farmer replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came down to feed the alligator."
Moral: Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and
Joke- Pain All Over
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office, and she says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes on her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?"
Joke- DD Driver
One night, a police officer decided to park outside of a particularly rowdy bar and wait around for possible drinking and driving violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, opening the car door, sat in the front seat and fumbled around with his keys for several minutes.
While this was going on, the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally, the guy started his engine and began to pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. Puzzled, the officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, "Well officer, tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."
Hope you enjoyed this fun hub as much as I did. Check out You'll Laugh So Hard 1!, and continue laughing...
Also, if you would like to share your own favourite jokes, funny pictures, videos, comical poems, thoughts, books or websites, you can do so by way of leaving them in your comments below.
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