Funny stories about computers

Photo by deziner02 @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by deziner02 @ www.sxc.hu

This time I choose computers because it is something we all use daily and also because they can be fun sometimes (at least when they are not crashing :D).

If any of you experience any kind of difficulties understanding this stories please contact the people from helpdesk (see below).

Observations and phrases on Computers and Internet...

  • "Can you tell the difference between Windows and a virus software? The only difference is that the virus will work fine."
  • "Keep your CPU virgin: Don´t take the Hymen.sys file"
  • "Goofy uses the keyboard. Mickey, the mouse!"
  • "I would like to create homepages but I don´t know what would they eat."
  • "We never forget the first phone bill after the modem."
  • "Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? Can We Have Internet Access Over There?"
  • "Buy a modem: find new friends and lose your wife."
  • "Internet access it´s like toilet paper: always ends when you need it the most!"

Photo by ihedgehog @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by ihedgehog @ www.sxc.hu

Damaged car

Four engineers were traveling in the car when it fails. Each engineer gave his suggestion:

Mechanical Engineer: - "I am sure the gearbox must be broken."

Chemical engineer: - "I do not agree. The issue is in the composition of the fuel."

Electrical engineer: - "You are both wrong! The battery is exhausted."

Computer Engineer: - "What if we get out of the car and then enter again!?"

Male or female?

Did you know that computers are females? The theory is based on the following principles:

1. The minute you get a new one a better one will come along;

2. No one can understand their logic apart from the Creator;

3. The language they use among themselves it is impossible to be understood;

4. It is difficult to understand any of their messages;

5. After purchasing a computer you´ll spend half of your salary in accessories.

Photo by juliaf @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by juliaf @ www.sxc.hu

Hell on Hearth...

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. He is received by St. Peter:

- "Unfortunately heaven it´s not as good as you thought when you were on Earth. Here we must work hard and you will be responsible for all our Information Technology department."

- "That´s wonderful!" Reply Bill.

- "Two and a half million computers connected to our network..."

- "But that is also wonderful! I know everything about MS Windows OS."

- "...Macintosh!"

- "What? Macintosh!? It means that you have not even a Windows´ running PC around here?"

- "Thanks to our Host every PC's running Windows are in hell!"

Very funny medieval Norwegian helpdesk...

More by this Author


Comments 47 comments

Trsmd profile image

Trsmd 8 years ago from India

I am daily using female(!) to reach hubpages..?


Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney 8 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

If all else fails, save your files, and reboot.

Great start to my day 05H45 here


Tater2tot profile image

Tater2tot 8 years ago from ~~~

Haha. Very cute. I like the Goofy and Micky Mouse one.

Tayler!


pjdscott profile image

pjdscott 8 years ago from Durham, UK

These are really funny and thanks for brightening up my morning!


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

Trsmd - Now that you know you better be careful :D

Rodney - I´m glad you enjoyed it, it´s not easy at such early hour ;)

Hi Tayler, thank you for passing by and commenting ;)

Peter - Thank you, it´s great to know it helped lightening up your day ;)


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

Funny! My internet access went down the first time I tried to read this hub. Irony?


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

LOL, thank you for coming back after that black out, B.T. Evilpants.


cflynn profile image

cflynn 8 years ago from Ireland

Funny,...To err is human...to really **** up requires a computer!!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Very funny my dear especially the female edition...ummmm . Have a good day. G-Ma :o)hugs


Peter M. Lopez profile image

Peter M. Lopez 8 years ago from Sweetwater, TX

Too funny Mr. Mayor.


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 8 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Very very funny! great hub Funride.

regards Zsuzsy


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

I´m so glad everyone is having fun with it. It´s very rewarding to read all your nice comments, thanks ;)


cvaughn570 8 years ago

Very cute hub! Brought a smile to my face:-)


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Funride, thanks for the laughter :)


LdsNana-AskMormon profile image

LdsNana-AskMormon 8 years ago from Southern California

This is such a great hub! Thanks for putting things in proper perspective for all of us..

tDMg

LdsNana-AskMormom


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

I´m so happy to have made three lovely ladies smiled and I can just imagine how beautiful you are when you´re smiling ;)

cvaughn570 - Thanks, It´s great to see you smiling ;)

Michelle - I´m so glad you like it :)

Nana - Thank you so much for your comment but specially for the digg ;)


Bob Ewing profile image

Bob Ewing 8 years ago from New Brunswick

A laugh to start the morning, thanks. :)


TetonRose profile image

TetonRose 8 years ago from Utah

This was really fun! I laughed and laughed. I just have to share this with some of my "too sober" friends!

Thanks,

TetonRose


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

Hi Bob, is there better way to start the day!? ;)

TetonRose - Thanks for commenting, I hope your friends become less sober after reading it :D


guidebaba profile image

guidebaba 8 years ago from India

Can I Get married to this Girl?????


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

I don´t know... But I warn you about her expected short life. After 1 or 2 years you´ll be looking for a new one so you better keep her as girlfriend just in case ;D . Maybe one day we´ll be able to have long-lasting relations with computers...


cgull8m profile image

cgull8m 8 years ago from North Carolina

Hilarious Funride, all these are classic especially the computers are female, :)


robie2 profile image

robie2 8 years ago from Central New Jersey

ROTFL--love that medevil helpdesk vid and the Bill Gates jokes but hmmmmm I thought computers were male--nevermind:-)


Lifebydesign profile image

Lifebydesign 8 years ago from Australia

lol! These are good funride, thanks. :-)


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

LOL, it´s a great feeling to know that everyone laugh with this hub. Laughing it´s really the best health tonic. Thank you all for the comments ;)


Bueller's Way profile image

Bueller's Way 8 years ago from Massachussetts

Finally, someone else trying to bring a little humor to hubpages. Women like computers? Yep, thats about right.


trimecks profile image

trimecks 8 years ago from Portugal

top laugh :)


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

Another daily dose of Laughter medicine..

Heres something very small in return..

You know when your a PC geek is when you spend a whole plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your kid in the overhead compartment!


Gawn Fishin' profile image

Gawn Fishin' 8 years ago from Vancouver, BC

Very Funny! I recognise the help desk video. There was a time I didn't know what that big 'e' was there for.


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

LOL. Thank you all for your nice comments.

Compu-smart - That´s a good one :D . Is that a joke or it really happened to you!? :P

Gawn Fishin´ - I don´t know what "e" are you talking about :P . I only have a little fox with fire on its tail :D


compu-smart profile image

compu-smart 8 years ago from London UK

lmao, no!! its a joke lol!


Dumbledore profile image

Dumbledore 8 years ago from Somewhere in Ohio

Printers now cost next to nothing. I paid less than $25 for my current printer. The ink cartridges cost over $30 each, however.


Karen Ellis profile image

Karen Ellis 8 years ago from Central Oregon

Very funny hub!


Dumbledore profile image

Dumbledore 8 years ago from Somewhere in Ohio

Love the car story.


dayzeebee profile image

dayzeebee 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

LOL now i know why you call yourself Funride... thanks for the fun and the ride...now i'm a fan of a fun.


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

Compu-smart, I´m glad it´s just a joke :D

Dumbledore, Thank you so much for your comments.

Karen, I´m glad to hear that, it was my intention ;)

dayzeebee, thanks for your words. I always try to have fun in everything I do, and if I can share some fun with others even better ;) . I´m having lots of fun being your fan :D


Adam York 8 years ago

Some how comedy seems funnier with subtitles (-:


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

You´re right Adam, at least in this case and only if one doesn´t understand Norwegian LOL


quensday profile image

quensday 8 years ago from New York

Hello funride, these are good jokes :) I liked the engineer bit


Rookie Expert profile image

Rookie Expert 8 years ago from US

"Keep your CPU virgin: Don´t take the Hymen.sys file" "Goofy uses the keyboard. Mickey, the mouse!"

But the best one was internet access! Funny stuff.


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal Author

Thank you both for your nice comments. I´m glad you enjoyed it ;)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

Really refreshing up,it made me think of a great computer joke I received but I have already forgotten it haha. Damn it.When I remember I will come back here and share it with you lol.I am hopeless remembering a good gag even though I just love hearing them


funride profile image

funride 7 years ago from Portugal Author

Hey Blondepoet, I´m glad you enjoyed it. Don´t forget to share that joke with us as soon as you remember it ;)


Maria 7 years ago

Cool humor about computers! :)


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

To err is human. To really screw up, you need a computer....


funride profile image

funride 7 years ago from Portugal Author

Thanks for commenting ;)

Hey LondonGirl, I loved your quote. And it´s really true ;)


dehrt 6 years ago

sooooooooooooooooooo ffffuuuunnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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