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Funny Quotes

  1. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 2 years ago

    I think some humor is needed here
    Got a funny quote? Post it here

    1. Quilligrapher profile image90
      Quilligrapherposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Many scientists believe that milk is the fastest liquid on the planet because it gets pasteurized before you even see it!
      http://s2.hubimg.com/u/6919429.jpg

  2. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 2 years ago

    Here's my first one
    The baby should have been blue, or red, and maybe even violet..but not green
    I don't blame dad? for being upset
    http://justhappyquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/73_unny-pictures-funny-quotes-47.jpg

    1. Sed-me profile image82
      Sed-meposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Haha, I didn't get it til I saw the "dad's" face.

      1. profile image0
        Deborah Sextonposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        I like your new Avatar

        The mom crayon, her face gives her away too

        Why is the image doing that? (above) Here it is again (below)
        The father is red.....the baby should be purple, red, or blue, but noooo it's green!??
        Such evil crayons in this world
        http://demodisplay.yolasite.com/resources/73_unny-pictures-funny-quotes-47.jpg

  3. m abdullah javed profile image78
    m abdullah javedposted 2 years ago

    Fearing with buffallow 'he' went behind the horse.

  4. bBerean profile image59
    bBereanposted 2 years ago

    It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they take things literally.

  5. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 2 years ago

    http://www.brainyquote.com/photos/i/isaacasimov140809.jpg

  6. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 2 years ago

    A blatant lie
    The things that give us away
    http://demodisplay.yolasite.com/resources/Dark%20Humor%20Crayon.jpg
    Now what if Mom was color blind?

  7. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 2 years ago

    Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."

  8. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 2 years ago

    http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/35100000/true-funny-pictures-35158386-500-417.jpg

  9. profile image0
    JoelMcLendonposted 2 years ago

    A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."

  10. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 2 years ago

    Well not my wife..cause this is a joke

    My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
    We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on her forehead.

 
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