I have a funny story.
When I was about 7 or 8 I was lying on the living room floor. Something grabs my hairtie and then my whole body moves about 3 inches!!! I turn around it is my dog!
I had a terrible nightmare...
I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone.
One of the people I work with liked to cook his food on company time until my boss and his secretary broke him of the habit.
One day on company time Mark got a frozen burrito thawing away inside the company microwave. Once he got it going he walked back downstairs. Our secretary Melinda saw this happen and she told my boss Garreth about it. Well now, Garreth was not too happy, but he still decided to play a joke. He ran to the microwave and shut it off, but then he restarted it -- to cook for one second. The microwave beeped and read "End" just as if the burrito had been fully cooked.
Mark came bustling up the steps a minute later, checked his burrito, and found it was still stone cold. As he grumbled he reset the microwave and hurried downstairs. Garreth again reset the microwave to cook for one second, then again after Mark ran screaming down the stairs. After Mark nearly set off the fire alarm with his temper Garreth took the cold burrito out of the microwave and put it on his desk. Mark came banging up the stairs, stabbed the "open" button with his pudgy thumb, let out a stream of words beginning with the first, sixth and nineteenth letters of the alphabet, and turned around to run back down the stairs, when the burrito caught his eye from Garreth's desk. Now livid, he opened the office door and ran in, shouting, "Did you take my burrito?"
To which my boss slowly replied, "That BETTER not be YOUR burrito".
He was busted.
..Today morah and onka go on a field trip with ther mommy to the dentist..morah giggles while onka is in the chair. she points and snickers then wrinkles up her face. onka is wiggling all over the chair- tryen to get away! abby " frustrated" says- just what is the problem with you two! Morah quietly speaks up, points her finger, and says......the dentist picked his nose . eeewwe! this is one of my made up episodes. t.cobbler
I do customer relations work, so a big part of my job is calling customers and asking if they are happy with our service.
Working in the motor industry at a car dealership, often affords many humourous replies to that question.
Below is an actual response I received from a customer this morning:
"Good day sir, we had your vehicle in for a service a few days ago, and we are doing a follow up call to find out if you are happy with the level of service you received from us."
His reply: (wait for it.....)
"Yes, I am very happy with your service. However, I have one query. Whenever my car's fuel gauge reaches the E mark, my car cuts out. is that normal?"
And they say women are stupid when it comes to car related matters...
Do you guys know what tick are? Deer ticks specifically? Little blood suckers fill up on blood till they are just about ready to burst, then finally fall off the body. Well on my first experience as a small kid I thought I was growing a penis. Thats all I am gonna say
by andrew savage4 years ago
Have you, or anyone you know of, ever had a close encounter? When did it take place? Were there any drugs involved? Did you tell the authorities? What race of aliens were involved? Was the experience angelic or demonic...
by Mark Knowles7 years ago
I just wanted to say a big thank you to all my religious friends here. I guess I have been wondering and asking myself whether I made the right choices for a while. You - know - could I be wrong? Is there really a god?...
by Kiana Burkite5 years ago
i really need to get all a's all the time so any tips
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