Funny Birthday Quotes for Women

Funny Birthdays Wishes & Funny Birthday Sayings

Finding the perfect birthday messages or funny birthday quotes for women to write in their birthday card can prove more difficult than choosing the card itself. If you know someone who is getting to the age they wished that their age would start going backwards, then there is nothing more special than the gift of laughter. So spread the joy on their special day, with some funny birthday messages. If you are looking for some happy birthday quotes for brightening up someones special day, find here some of the favorite hilarious and funny birthday messages and wishes.

If you are making your own greetings cards, these happy birthday quotes will be sure to brighten up the inside and bring delight to the recipient.

or as Robert Frost said

"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty..."

Funny Birthday Quotes for women - ....great to use any time of year!

Happy Birthday party decorations
Happy Birthday party decorations

Funny Birthday Messages

for the ladies

As a family we have always sent each other silly and funny birthday cards, this all started way back with my father...I remember one year he forgot my Mothers Birthday, and he quickly turned round and said to "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older, dear?" Well, for years we have laughed over this, and one year when he bought (on his way home from the pub and rather intoxicated) congratulations on the "birth of your Baby Boy", and his excuse was it was expensive, this did indeed start our family looking for the funniest cards and saying we could find.

I mean

"What have you got to lose at your age? Other than hair, hearing, eyesight, flexibility, memory..."

Browse online for a a huge selection of birthday party decorations
Browse online for a a huge selection of birthday party decorations

Funny birthday messages sayings & Poems

hilarious birthday messages

These are poems I have used in cards, and as I find more I will add them, so be sure to visit back.

Forget about the past, you can't change it.

Forget about the future, you can't predict it.

Forget about the present, I didn't get you one."

- Unknown

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"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."

- Mark Twain

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"They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body."

- Unknown

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"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do."

- Phyllis Diller

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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it

~Author Unknown

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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. (change as appropriate)

~Author Unknown

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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

~Larry Lorenzoni

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I like my bifocals,

my dentures fit me fine,

my hearing aid is perfect,

but Lord I miss my mind!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

finally got your head together, and now your body is falling apart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is a world record that

I think that you will break

Some time in the next few years -

It's "candles on a cake."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You've had many many birthdays,

Too many for me to mention,

But there are still one or two more

Before you start to draw your pension.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes the best things in life happen after you've done what you're "supposed" to do and are free to follow your dreams

Funny Happy Birthday Songs - Make your own Happy Birthday video message movie

Why not send your friend or loved one a video card, or make a funny movie of them using this Movie maker, it is so easy to use, choose the characters, type in what you want them to say and publish it, it is so easy see more over @Xtranormal

Remember to get you Birthday Party Decorations

You can Browse a huge selection of Birthday Party Supplies and decorations online with FREE shipping!

@Happy Birthday decorations

The Best Chocolate Birthday Cake Ever

...everybody loves a chocolate cake, our favourite too

The product description says it all for this cake says "The ultimate essence of chocolate. Moist and rich chocolate cake baked with chocolate chips and cream cheese, then covered with a sensuous velvety smooth Belgian Chocolate Glaze. This delicious cake has been our best seller for over 25 years. 7 inch cake serves 6-10. " Even the customer reviews just want you to Buy this Happy Birthday Cake NOW

Happy Birthday Chocolate Euphoria Cake

Cute and Funny Birthday Poems

My friend loves putting in a tea bag and sticking it on the card and saying "have a drink on me" .....

A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she's going to exchange it for

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I never forget my wife's birthday. It's usually the day after she reminds me about it.

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A birthday is just another 365 days around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forget about the past, you can't change it,

Forget about the future, you can't predict it,

Forget about the present, I didn't get you one!

Broken Heat quotes and Sayings - Breakup Quotes

Break up Quotes to ease the pain...

All About angels

I believe in Angels so Come with me on a beautiful spiritual journey and find out all about angels. Angels give us a feeling of inner spirituality, comfort..

Pictures of Flowers with Quotes

You will find here a collection of beautiful Pictures of Flowers, with quotes...

Funny birthday Quotes and Messages for WomenFinding the perfect birthday messages or funny birthday quotes for women to write in their birthday card can prove more difficult than choosing the card itself....

Pictures of Pink flowers with Quotes

If you are looking for beautiful Pink flower Pictures, and pictures of flowers with quotes then you have came to the right page..

More by this Author


Do you have a funny birthday message - Quote or saying you'd like to share 44 comments

anonymous 5 years ago

Since they Only Come Once a Year, I say make the Most of them!!!


Ruthi 5 years ago

Age is just making time for wisdom and experience.


auntjennie profile image

auntjennie 5 years ago from Canada

I thought the stories about your dad and mom were cute. Sounds like card giving with your family can be really fun.


justholidays profile image

justholidays 5 years ago

I was happy when I arrived on my 40th... now I just would say that I fear my birthday date, lol.


BageAKumar 5 years ago

I love this message- "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."

- Mark Twain

Nice lens.


CruiseReady profile image

CruiseReady 5 years ago from East Central Florida

Very cute story about your mom and dad, and a fun lens in general.


anonymous 5 years ago

That video got me laughing and I love your friends, "have a drink on me idea" what fun. Well chosen birthday quotes for women to enjoy!


anonymous 5 years ago

Loved the quotes..... "The birth of a new day is a birthday" - Cheers! Live long and God bless, keep well. :)


aesta1 profile image

aesta1 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Love reading funny lenses. I get to smile.


DuaneJ profile image

DuaneJ 5 years ago

Fun lens....nice quotes!


LouiseKirkpatrick profile image

LouiseKirkpatrick 5 years ago from Berkshire, United Kingdom

I love helpful lenses - I'm always stuck for witty things to write in cards!! Blessed by this Squid Angel as part of the "Back To School Bus Trip"!


anaamhussain profile image

anaamhussain 5 years ago

Haha what a totally great lens :D


katiecolette profile image

katiecolette 5 years ago

Love the "forget about the present, I didn't get you one" :) I will have to use it for someone!


friendshipquotes 5 years ago

lovely.. Thanks..


ColorPetGifts profile image

ColorPetGifts 5 years ago

These are really fun birthday messages; I'll be sure to return as birthdays come up :)


sousababy profile image

sousababy 5 years ago

Some really good ones here - great for personalizing a birthday card. Thanks for sharing, Rose


gottaloveit2 profile image

gottaloveit2 5 years ago

That chocolate cake loos way tooooo good. Wish I hadn't seen it!


Lady Lorelei profile image

Lady Lorelei 5 years ago from Canada

Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday to you. And of course the very best of wishes for many more. Have a great birthday.


Gayle Mclaughlin profile image

Gayle Mclaughlin 5 years ago from McLaughlin

I am absolutely terrible coming up with funny sayings for birthdays. Your article will help me!


DIY Mary profile image

DIY Mary 5 years ago

You've got a nice collection of quotes. They're great for "annual 29th birthday" parties!


Rangoon House profile image

Rangoon House 4 years ago from Australia

So funny!


Virginia Allain profile image

Virginia Allain 4 years ago from Central Florida

I like to make my own cards with my scrapbooking supplies. These funny sayings would be great for that.


aesta1 profile image

aesta1 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Thanks for putting this up as many times I just can't find the right words to share someone's joy on their special day.


anonymous 4 years ago

Happy birthday mrs Sykes!;)


anonymous 4 years ago

It always amazes me how people come up with these funny birthday quotes. As a general rule, I like to give funny birthday cards to people. Loved some of these and got a laugh out of me on a couple too.


LynetteBell profile image

LynetteBell 4 years ago from Christchurch, New Zealand

What fun!


dream1983 4 years ago

Awesome lens, well done! Thumbs up


Onemargaret LM profile image

Onemargaret LM 4 years ago

Love this lens!


DMVAgent 4 years ago

and so this was a very good lens.. glad to read this lens. like!


Gypzeerose profile image

Gypzeerose 4 years ago

Really nice lens, you have a great niche here, every woman has a birthday!


PaigSr profile image

PaigSr 4 years ago from State of Confussion

Growing up my sister always got her birthday off from school because it fell on a national holiday. Its so unfair.


LisaAuch1 profile image

LisaAuch1 4 years ago from Scotland Author

@PaigSr: ...lol My birthday always falls around the Easter holidays so the only bad thing is I get lots of nearly out of date easter eggs for my birthday but at least we are always on holiday :)


anonymous 4 years ago

âLife is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it,

but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get." - Robbert Oustin

-haha!! :)


yogendrachavda 4 years ago

wow... very funny quotes. thanks a lot


RaintreeAnnie profile image

RaintreeAnnie 4 years ago from UK

Hilarious, I loved it :) Very funny quotes.


John Dyhouse profile image

John Dyhouse 4 years ago from UK

Enjoyed a great laugh at these humerous and silly quotes


JoshK47 4 years ago

Ah, I suppose getting older is better than the alternative - fun lens! Blessed by a SquidAngel!


babynstar profile image

babynstar 4 years ago

Love it!


Virginia Allain profile image

Virginia Allain 4 years ago from Central Florida

I have a hard time thinking up something cute to put in a card. These will come in handy with the next birthday I need a card for.


anonymous 4 years ago

We are at the perfect age, somewhere between sweet sixteen and "non of your business"!


anonymous 4 years ago

nice birthday quotes i'll like to add your lens in my list.


profile image

jseven lm 3 years ago

Thanks for a helpful lens with plenty of good birthday messages! :)


servicefixer 3 years ago

helpful message for birthday thanks one again. @service_fixer1


saba-khan3 2 years ago

This is a good way to please someone.

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