gwendymoms guide to redneck landscaping

I got up this morning, had a look at what the Hub-Mob topic for the week and sighed. Oh crap! Why? What the heck am I going to write about houseplants, lawns and landscaping? I do not have a green thumb, I have a black thumb. I kill every plant that I come into contact with. I have been banned at garden centers within the state of Oklahoma. Other states don't know about me yet, but trust me, as soon as they find out I will be banned there too. So I have decided that I do have some experience in the redneck landscaping field. Yes, it is a field. Really, a field like a pasture or farm or something like that. OK so here is how to get that redneck yard.

1. Put in fake flowers. They don't need watering. Besides who is going to know that they are fake when they are driving by. If they happen to come into your yard and to your door they are going to know that you are a redneck soon enough anyway.

2. Put a sofa on your front porch. An old tattered and torn sofa works best and if you have plaid one that's even better, you have hit the redneck motherload.

3. Put your pick-up on blocks in your front yard. You know you got one. Bring it out from the back yard and display it proudly in the front. Besides it will give you a nice leaning surface when talking hunting and drinking beer with your buddies.

4. Make an attractive sculpture with old tires and rims. This should pacify your neighbors by making them think you are one of them artsy farsty people and they will hold off on calling your home owners association for a week or two.

5. Decorate your home with Christmas lights and never take them down. You worked hard to get them up, so keep them there and use them year round. Show off how handy you really are.

6. Hang a toilet seat on your front door like a wreath. You can even write "Welcome" on it. Not only is it a lovely gesture to your guests it also lets them know that you have indoor plumbing.

7. Be sure to place all broken down appliances on your lawn or porch. It will show people that you can afford appliances and do not have to scrub your laundry on a washboard down by the river. Teach them snooty neighbors about yourself.

8. Fill your yard with plastic deer. Make sure that you place "No Hunting" signs throughout your yard. You don't want your friends and neighbors shooting up the place.

9. Get yourself some goats. Goats will enable you to be able to spend more time watching Nascar as then you won't have to mow your lawn, they will do it for you.

and finally the most important tip.....

10.Put a toilet in the yard and plant flowers in it or put the fake ones in it. It's your call. You can get away with either one of these because your friends will water and fertilize the real ones for you, all that beer has to come out eventually.

I hope you enjoy this hub as much I enjoyed writing it.

Comments 121 comments

Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 7 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

LOL! Good one, gwendymom! Would you recommend a few plastic flamingos in the front yard as well, or are they specific to a redneck region, so that if you live in the wrong area of the country they might get shot, *No Hunting* signs or not?

Thumbs up!


SteveSnedeker profile image

SteveSnedeker 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

Man, that is some high-quality 'scapin', Gwendymom! I actually designed the outdoor seating apparatus shown there. One of my favorite trailers!

That mail box killed me! ROFL!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sally, I would recommend plastic flamingos, I thought about putting them in here but decided against it, I am not sure why though. lol, just having one of those days.

Steve, Thank you thank you, I wondered who designed that outdoor seating. Now I know. I loved the mailbox too, wish I had one.

Thank you both for stopping by.


kerryg profile image

kerryg 7 years ago from USA

Hee! This is hilarious!

My family doesn't really classify as rednecks by any definition of the word, but we still managed to have a toilet full of geraniums on our back porch for awhile as a joke after one of my mom's remodelling projects. It was a hideous brown thing installed in the 70's, so that was probably the most attractive it had ever been.

I am not sure whether to be amused, impressed, or alarmed by that mailbox. :)


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

I saw some of this when lost on Rt. 60 inW. Va. once summer, and was glad when I got to Gauley Bridge and Hawk's Nest State Park!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Kerry, My gtrandmother thoguht it was agood idea to put a toilet in her yard as a planter too. I thoguht it was hideous! The mailbox makes me laugh, someone obviously took a lot of time making that thing. I think it's great.

Patty, I'm sorry, I'll tell my family to try to control themselves.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I think there is a lot of good advice here. The toilet with weeds is a personal favorite. Rusted out barbeque grills can make a lovely bird bath too. Thanks for sharing this information with the world, but if everybody does it, then by yard wont be so byooteefulll no more.


funnebone profile image

funnebone 7 years ago from Philadelphia Pa

Ha....that is great!...I like the idea of an outdoor toilet, that way when I go to take a leak in the winter instead of hitting the floor I can melt the ice in the driveway!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Christoph, I knew you would be able to identify with this one. I am sorry, I should not have spilled your secrets like this. I'll do better next time.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Funnebone- The beauty of an outdoor toilet is that you never have to end a converation. You can do your business right there and never have to say "Excuse me, but I have to go powder my nose" you can just drop your pants and go and never miss a thing.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

I always wanted to put a bathtub in my yard...does that make me a redneck or an exhibitionist?


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area

Umm, obviously it's not THAT cold over there. Try to imagine that thing with -60F and blizzard :P


funnebone profile image

funnebone 7 years ago from Philadelphia Pa

Misha always resorts back to his childhood in Siberia. He was frozen to an outhouse seat for 3 days, traumatic experiences like that leave you skeptical and chaffed.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Spryte, that might make you both!

Misha, brrrr.

Funnebone, why yes it is. Are interested in renting or buying?


funnebone profile image

funnebone 7 years ago from Philadelphia Pa

sorry gwen, i tricked you and deleted my comment. I was inquiring about the property next to spryte...


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area

I am just trying to ground you all in reality, this country gone too far from it :P


funnebone profile image

funnebone 7 years ago from Philadelphia Pa

I don't need reality Misha, I am handsome, rich, well hung and not indanger of my car being repossesed. This is the world I like to live in, please don't bring reality into this.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Funnebone, what don't want to be my neighbor? I promise to only use two or five of these things in my yard.

Misha, sorry to hear about your trauma with toilet seats.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Bah Misha!  I didn't say it would be my ONLY tub... :P  It would be silly to try and take a bath in a large block of ice in the middle of a blizzard.  But then again, a hot tub is a lot of fun in the middle of winter...especially when you get out and plunge into the snow...and then get back into the hot tub. 

...And funnebone, only if you sneak in the back door and leave a couple bags of halloween candy first. 


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area

Oh, thank you thank you guys, it was long ago and long forgotten.. or is it? :)

Spryte, that definitely is fun. Especially if you use sauna instead of a hot tub :)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Misha, glad you have recovered, or maybe not, I don't know.

Spryte, that sounds like fun!

Funnebone, if you are handsome, rich, well hung, and not in danger of your car being reposessed than you really aren't living in reality.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Misha :) I hate saunas. Something about sucking in hot air and sweating doesn't appeal to me as much as lying about in a pool full of pulsating jets. Gee...I have no idea why...


funnebone profile image

funnebone 7 years ago from Philadelphia Pa

Spryte can you please change your picture when talking this way... I don't think i'll ever see tinkerbell in the same light again.

Gewn I'll be your candyman..wink wink


Princessa profile image

Princessa 7 years ago from France

I think the previous owners of my house might have shared your views as we found "sculptures" made of broken dishes and a supermarket trolley in the garden among dolls hanging from the trees and mirrors hidden among the bushes!!!! I thought it was something French LOL


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Really funny hub gwendymon, I so loved the toilet on the porch with the guy sitting on it. :)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Funnebone, back at ya!

Princessa, wow, that we be one weird sculpture, I didn't know France had rednecks, you learn something new everyday.

Misty, So glad that you stopped by. That guy on the toilet is pretty funny. When I seen the pic, I new I had to put it in this hub.

Thanks all for comng by!


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 7 years ago from Hell, MI

Why do you assume the appliances on the porch are broken? I may be a redneck, but I'm not stupid. I just needed some space in the basement, to rebuild my El Camino!


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

Yeah, wrestler Bret Hart's dad kept at least 6 caddies parked on the front lawn all the time to make room in the basement & Garage for rebuilding and for training wrestlers in the same large dungeon up in Canada.

gwendymon- Best regards to you family for Halloween. hahaha Just a joke. :)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

B.T. Sorry I guess I shouldn't assume. you know what they say, when you assume it just makes an ass out of u and me. Good luck with that El Camino, I'm sure you'll be fighting the females jackalopes off with a stick. I here they really go for those.

Patty, lol. I'll tell my family you said for them to have a happy halloween. They don't like halloween too much, they don't have enough teeth to eat all that candy, and they are used to people giving them food without having to dress up as people throw it at them all the time.


Princessa profile image

Princessa 7 years ago from France

Actually.. I didn't know what a redneck was before this hub... I've just learnt a new word :)

And I forgot to mention the cutlery planted in the back garden @_@


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Cutlery planted in the back yard? They should talk to B.T. Evilpants, he tried to grow iced tea.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California

LOL at French rednecks. Le courouge? or something?

This is pretty funnystuff Gwendy, except that from the pictures you clearly aren't actually kidding. Those two guys by the car are priceless. I did notice you didn't mention a plastic wading pull half-filled with green water and chunks of stuff out front so I wanted to included that for next time. :)

(The thrill of a sauna totally escapes me, and, frankly, I'm not all that giddy about being boiled in a stew with everyone else's crevice rinsings either so spa's aren't really my thing either.)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

That is exactly right, Shades. La courouge is a French redneck. And they dine on ragoût d'opossum et rat grillé (possum stew and grilled rat). Sounds pretty good in French!


Princessa profile image

Princessa 7 years ago from France

and we make little scarfs out of their skin :)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California

Oh, and you make berets with coon tails on the back too?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thought I might have went too far showing the family photo album like that. Coon tail berets, lol! I think I want one.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 7 years ago from California

Might start a new fashion trend.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

We have em over here too. As I said in the comments to my hubmob attempt. One guy I knew concreted the lawn area and painted it green.How about plaster ducks flying up the wall at the front door next to the flyscreen with the cut off tyre filled with fern plants.

Great hub gwendymom


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Maybe Christoph can get me one. It might codt me a diaper change or breastfeeding though.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

Cutlery planted in the back yard. Is that not a Jewish custom when the cutlery has touched both meat and milk? Jackie Mason said that once.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Patty, I don't know. I had never heard of that before. That would explain it though. I will look it up and get back to ya.


SirDent 7 years ago

This hub makes me very angry. I can't believe you would come to my property and take these photos and not come in for a cup of coffee or tea. It's just such a rude thing to do. I thought you would be much nicer than that.

At least the article is funny.


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 7 years ago from Hell, MI

SirDent, you must have seen her, there. She took your picture, while you were sitting on the porch! Although you may have been distracted. You seem to be talking on the phone. That's probably why you neglected to invite her in.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sir Dent, dang my bad manners! In my defense I was in a hurry, I didn't want my family know that I was in the area. You know how family can get, they are always so demanding of your time, and trying to feed you possum stew, and hey have a look at the new toilet seat we got for the outhouse that we were able to afford from uncle bubba's inheritance, your cousins bertha and mike got married. You know stuff like that. It's just so time consuming. I will hone my manners and come by next time, or at least knock on the door and run.

glad you thought it was funny. Stop by again Sir Dent, I've missed ya!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

B.T. you do have a point there. He does look an awful like the guy on the toilet. Hmm, maybe it wasn't my bad manners.

SirDent, now you have done it, trying to blame me. Know that I think about it, it was you on the porch, I was just trying not to interupt your phone call, and avoid the stench.

B.T., thanks for poinring thar out!


SirDent 7 years ago

One of the reasons I hate jackalopes is because they try and spread lies getting people into trouble. My hair is black and the guiy on the toilet is not me. That is one of my neghbors.  Of course he hates jackalopes too but for a different rerason.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

I have some problems typing t's it seems.

Sir Dent, I am not convinced yet, maybe that is you, and maybe it's your neighbor. It's hard to tell.

B.T. has been earning a few foes recently, maybe he should be careful. I might have to take his side though as he has agreed to let me make him a vampire, or a batalope. I've never had jackalope blood before and am curious as to how it tastes.


SirDent 7 years ago

Now my feelings are really hurt cause you think I would lie about it. You know how jackalopes are and how they spread rumors just to cause trouble. Go ahead and try his blood, but don't turn him into a vampire. He is evil enough already.


rmr profile image

rmr 7 years ago from Livonia, MI

Actually, it's far more likely that she would become a jackalope. Our mojo is far stronger than a vampire's.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

Nah, B.T. E. turned into a Jekyll & Hyde jackalope/Jack-o-Lantern on some page about pumpkin recipes around here.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

oh, SirDent, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, he has this evil power over me. The thought of tasting that jackalope blood has my mind all muddled. I will try not to turn him into a vampire, your right, he is probably evil enough already.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

rmr, I hope not, I don't think my neck is strong enough to support them antlers. Do females get antlers or do they just look like normal jackrabbits? Hmm, now I am confused. B.T. never expalined this stuff when we came to the agreement. I guess I should have read the fine print.

Patty, He has turned into a jack-o-lantern? He is getting obsessed with trying to turn himself into some other creature. I am wondering if he is trying to disguise himself, or maybe acquire more power for some reason. I wonder what that reason could be?


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

A batalope. Jugular drinking redneck making calls from the throne. Or is it people in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones?


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

It's all about the power, I'm sure. Jack-o-lanterns, are magical-mystical, you know. I think he has a photo of his parents on one of his pages, pointing out that his mom suffered antler removal at the hands of evil Humahnz.

Of course, he will use all the power for good...


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sixty, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, I think. I guess if people who live in glass houses want to throw stone they should be able to, It is their right. Throwing stones for everyone I say! Thanks for stopping by sixty, stop by anytime, and I'll try to control SirDent and my family.

Patty, I did not know that jack-o-lanterns had mystical powers.I am not so sure about him using those powers for good though. I haven't seen him on here defending himself either, he just seems to come in and tell lies and then leaves, letting the dust fall where it may.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

He's such an INTERESTING jackalope as Bugs Bunny, my other favorite rabbit would say.

Yes, jackolanterns on the doorstep create crowds of 1000s of children at your door begging for treats. Magical (sigh)  :)


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Hi Gwendymom no need to control them. We just take our lumps as they come. LOL


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Damn sixty, I didn't even see where you said grass, or was that a typo. It's too early. My brain is still mush from my tossing and turning sleep. It needs time to recover.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Patty, what kind of jackalope want 1000's of children at his door? Is he planning on making a evil childrens army? I am concerned and a little curious.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

Well, he promised not to eat human children in his Presidential Campaign, so thre army sounds about right, especial in light of rmr's review of the Jackalope Enterprises LLC children's gift catalogue of tiny implements kits. It all seems to fit suddenly. I had no idea until you just mentioned the army.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

It is all starting to fit together isn't it. That evil jackalope is pretty crafty.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Hmmm. A whole army of "jackadopes." It's diabolical.

Gwendy: How many rednecks does it take to change a lighblub? Two. One to change the light bulb and one to run the extension cord to the neighbors house.

Hey Gwendy! How many hawt redneck chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A hawt redneck chick can't fit inside a lightbulb, silly.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

ROFL, your the best Christoph! Glad you dropped by.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Hey Gwendy: How many hawt redneck chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You outta know!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks Christoph, let me think about that. hmmm. Ok, I'll play this game. I think it just takes one, because she will ask her cousin (her husband) and his brother (her lover) to do it, one will hold the bulb while the other turns the ladder. Ta Da!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Very good. What I mean't though, was YOU are a hawt redneck chick. Get it? It was like,,,what do they call them things...a com-plee-mint.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

*blinks*

No...I'm not going to say a damn thing...


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

I got it Chritoph, silly baby. ROFLMAO. You are so cute.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Really? I was just going to compliment you on the fact you are not all full of yourself and that you remain so humble. But now that I find out you ARE full of yourself and NOT humble...never mind.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

LOL! Christoph, I thought maybe you might be trying to butter me up for a diaper change or something.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Now that you mention it, I am getting a little ripe down there.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

ewww, where's B.T. with that wetnurse?


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Be careful of ripeness Christoph. Eventually it leads to over-ripeness and then things start falling off...


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I wondered where that thing went.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

If that's the case Christoph maybe we should call a doctor.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

maybe you can get a transplant.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Nah. It'll grow back. Won't it? WON'T IT???


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

roflmao, I hope so, for you I mean. Damn, I don't know what I mean.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

LOL! Well...it's not like baby teeth where you get grown up version after it falls off or out...


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

are you sure bout that misty? I was under the impression that they do fall out or off, and then you get the adult version. maybe that's just speaks about the kind of men I have dated.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Is there a potential Lorena Bobbit out there? Be careful Baby Chistoph


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

Speaking of which...have we made a decision regarding Baby Christoph's circumcision yet?


Single arab 7 years ago

You should wait 8 days :P


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

I'm afraid we don't have 8 days. Well we could wait, but I hears it's more painful for adults.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Hey! I don't like the direction this hub is going in. Ok, ok, Spryte....PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! Hey, Arab dude, tell us about Female circumcision in your country. Hah!


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area

Is Christoph a jew? or muslim?


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

This hub has taken an unforeskinate turn. Did you hear about the Rabbi who collected these items, and made them into a purse. When you rub it, it turns into a suitcase!


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I'm standing here in the same room, Misha! Geez. I'm Irish...and I've already been circumcised once. There's not enough to take any more.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Sixty, that's just funny, right there!


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area

I was just wondering why they want to do this? Does not really make much sense for others, you know ;)

That's a good one Sixty :D


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Because they are mean wenches! They want me to suffer as they want all men to suffer! They're referring to my Baby avatar.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

LOL! It's just a female preference....but if you say you've already had it done, then I'll put the knife down. Geeeeesh. :)


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

I know, sweetie. You never get to have any fun.


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

I know.. :( I guess the only thing to do is to go to bed now and hope for a really good dream....

*grins*

Perhaps I'll get lucky and last night's will simply pick up where it left off.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Ok. Don't get "snipey" with me though, OK?


spryte profile image

spryte 7 years ago from Arizona, USA

LOL!  I'll try my best not to let you aggravate me in my dream...that's the best I can do.  G'nite Christoph...try to get some sleep tonight would ya?


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

It's goodmorning for me. G'nite all sleep tight.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Spryte, Christoph, Sixty and Misha, wow, you guys were a busy bunch last night. And there I was wasting time with sleep. Christoph, I am glad you escaped the knife, I'm sure Spryte was only trying to help, maybe.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

Hmmm - In Asian countries there has been a psychosis in which the sufferer believes that his penis has been sucked up into the body and reabsorbed. [Just some more fodder for discussion.]


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

A sort of a metatestis (spelling wrong but intentional). Do you think it is a form of getting in touch with your feminine side? LOL


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Patty, maybe that is what happened to Christoph. Maybe it didn't get too ripe and fall off? I don't know, he might have to examine himself.

Sixty, LOL, you are so funny. maybe he is having gender issues, I really think he better see a physician.


ateeqvbhatti profile image

ateeqvbhatti 7 years ago

As a woman of a certain age, I'm always looking for the fountain of youth. It looks like you found it! I'm very intrigued by the second recipe, with the flower petals. How did you discover that combination? When I lived in NYC I used to love to visit the flower district, which would have been the perfect place to gather the ingredients. I think I'm going to make friends with a local florist


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

hmmm, I think you might have the wrong hub. But just in case the 2nd recipe is to just drag your couch onto the porch. The uglier the better. I discovered this by watching my family, they are kind of embarassing. I guess florist own couches too, and it's always good to make new friends. Thanks for stopping by.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Ateeqvbhatti, I think the hub you are wanting is

http://hubpages.com/health/Easy-Homemade-Anti-wrin...

It has some great recipes for skin care.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 7 years ago from North America

Christoph is defintely undergoing changes what with the temporary avatar diaper and all. He will emerge a better man and hardier than ever, I am sure. :)


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 7 years ago from Ontario/Canada

GwendyMom! This really weird... The same person left a comment on my hub but it was totally irrelevant to anything to do with the hub so I deleted it. I didn't realize that comments could get tangled up... something to do in hyperspace I would assume. Now the comment here is copied word for word from the one that Guru-C made on my hub. weird weird and weird

Hope you're fine talk to you soon. By the way I just love this hoot of a hub. I roared when I saw the mailbox... and I'm always amazed at how easy the comments can get hi-jacked into more hilarious, let's call them 'fields' I just love it...

regards Zsuzsy


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

I had the same thing happen on a different hub of mine, they left a comment and copied the same comment as someone had left earlier. I decided to click on their name and find out who they were and it linked me to a porn site. So anyway I deleted the comment beforw anyone else came along and clicked it. I did not delete this one as I clicked on the name and they seems to be HP member and either got confused or like you said some hyperspace thing. I thought maybe the might come back expecting a reply and I could give them the link to the right hub, which I am sure is yours.

And I love the hijacking of the comments, that's most of the fun.I have made some pretty funny and great friends on here. they always make my day.

Patty, I am sure that Christoph will come out of this ok. As for being a hardier man, well he was pretty close to perfect already, but don't tell him I said that, that baby head is huge already.


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 7 years ago from South Africa

Dont you guys mean harder? Or is that just a form of transference. Incidentally a picture of Baby Christoph sitting on the porch next to the naked guy, playing a fiddle would have been a great addition to this hub and a true deliverance?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sixty, that would have been great, I could have given baby Christoph a few Buba teeth and maybe some baby overalls. If I only new how to photo shop better.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

Hey don't knock the old toilets I've got one in our garden and it's just overflowing with Herb's!

btw the seat's up!

Great hub gwendymom, where's this new hub that Christoph and spryte have been looking at, I'm all shakin' with anticipation?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

I think I might get it published tonight if I can quit screwing around and concentrate, but that's kind of hard under the influence of sleeping pills.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

Funny ain't it, where I am for you its tomorrow 4.47pm ,and I'm sitting here looking out the window at a beautiful blue sky.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Well I am truly envious. I am in the middle of a thunderstorm that is pretty scary. The elctricity keeps flickering and I just heard a lawn chair fall over on my deck. I hope nothing come through the windows.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

Wow, it was a dark and stormy night. Now where have I heard that before?

I hope where you are living is not too isolated? Most of our power cables are now underground so we don't have a lot of blackouts.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Well That's great. I get nervous during storms here, you know Oklahoma is known for tornados but this isn't exactly tornado season. But I am home alone and it just makes it that more scary.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

Now where is that Christoph when you need him?

btw did you get that "link" thing sorted out yesterday?

are you on that pdt time zone?


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Yes, Christoph and Shades were big helps.


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Agvulpes, This always seems to happen because of the time difference, but I have to get to bed. Thanks for stopping by, Hope you have a great afternoon.


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

And it's goodnight from him, pleasant dreams!


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 7 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thank you Agvulpes, you sweetie!!!


frogyfish 3 years ago

OK, what did you have to pay that guy on the phone? You know, the one with the big cell phone?

I need to link your hub to mine about Red Dirt, OK?

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