how to make yourself fart

The authoritative guide to making farts when you want.

In this hub I hope to teach you how to make yourself fart. This is not some way to make an imitation fart. No, it is the real deal.

This method is far from perfected. With your testing this wonderful resource could grow. It is my thinking that if one were to experiment with this method you will get some control over the intensity and smell of the fart. So please leave your comments that way the world community can learn better the effect of various foods on farting.

Farting is a pastime of children since millennium. Farting is often performed at sleepovers and oter family functions.

This website is not ment to encourage you to fart. You should think for yourself what you should do. To make yourself fart may get a laugh or two. It may have you rolling in stiches. It may anger other family members. These are dangers. It can cause old people to consider you disrespectful. Farting is uncomfortable, and not a healthy condition of the intestines.

By no means do I encourage farting.

I encourage you to think about the source of the creation, the afterlife, and where you were before you were born. I encourage you to read books like Bhagavad-gita as it is. Try to elevate yourself, not degrade yourself. Think deply about what the whole thing is all about.

But if you want to get gas, this is how to do it.

How to give yourself gas

The way to get gas is to self impose a form of indigestion. Many people get gas from eating beans. Bean eating is one way to give yourself gas. A very simple strategy is to eat pinto beans or red kidney beans. Do not wash the water between the time you start cooking and finish. This will most likely give you some real gas.

Another method is to eat some grains like rice and beans with some bread. Then after that has been digesting for a while (1 hour) you eat an apple or pear.Most people will immediately have really bad gas for some time after this because the incompatability of the fruit with the stomach acids breaking down the grains will cause indigestion and gas. You can get gas if you eat grains twice in a day. If you have beans and rice once and then later have them again usually if you didn't get gas the first time, the second time you will.

Warning, if you do this, you will have gas for a while.

To get rid of gas, you can try ginger. Usually that helps.

Blowing Farts in Public

Farting video

Why is farting so funny? 47 comments

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 8 years ago from California Gold Country

Well, this is valuable information.

If you want to keep people away, just chew some garlic.

 


Mingeater 8 years ago

Fat kids farting....first class entertainment! Almost as funny as fat people falling over!


mstokes2 7 years ago

LOL


wafaf 7 years ago

this was no help to me.

I just wanna fart yoo.


Moopoo 7 years ago

ZOMG ITS MR.METHANE FROM BRITAINS GOT TALENT YOOOO!!!


Princess 6 years ago

I enjoy farting in public because people make silly faces..muahahahaha genius idea!


wps 6 years ago

dude this toatly awsome it toatly works i farted for to hours almost non stop


fred 6 years ago

Loool tym 2 enter Britains got talent:)


billybobjoe 6 years ago

im on this website to learn how to fart not watch videos of people using fart machines,

thank verry much and have a great day


Anamus 6 years ago

That was histarical!


chris squid beard 5 years ago

a good FART is like a rest of the soul!!!!


blue10pk 5 years ago

it didn't work for me


fart 5 years ago

fartfartfartfartfartfartfartfartfartfartfart, in case you haven't noticed i lake farts , but i don wanna atch sound affects :v(


anonymous 5 years ago

i want to fart instanly! any help? visit http://ryansrockinrollercoaster.wordpress.com/


nicktopolski 5 years ago

its simple swollow a bunch of air sit upside down swollow more air 5 -10 mins later you'll be farting


anonymous 4 years ago

fart poot poot poot I like farts


annaymous 4 years ago

A recipie for destruction!! :)


poopymcpoopy 4 years ago

i love farts XD 1 time i kiled like 40 pepole with a fart O_O i know im doing this on my DSI XL T_T i know


joe 4 years ago

fart


Ed 4 years ago

The guy in the mask was great


Paiger 4 years ago

that's hilarious!!!!!


pokémon 4 years ago

i love to fart


Poop 4 years ago

That is the most weirdest comment the one about toot in her boyfriends mouth gross


Doper 4 years ago

Amazinh


Farter 4 years ago

i luv to fart, farting is part of life!


Hasa 4 years ago

I can make farts all the time lol


zoie larsen 4 years ago

crazy(!!!!!)


ante farrow 4 years ago

farting is my life


logan 4 years ago

who would want to get talented by farting


bob 4 years ago

The most effective means of generating truly nasty farts I've found is to eat a whole pound of smoked, not pickled, garlic. My wife remarked " Oh god that is horrible!"


Nick 4 years ago

If you want to make a big fart, try to hold your burps and if you feel like you're NOT going to butt-

big fart and only tiny one per min. Try to hold your butt tight and hold the fart so you could get a giant butt fart


zsomething 3 years ago

I KNOW HOW DO!!!


Guy 3 years ago

May I Fart In Your Mount???

If May P.M me


Crystal 3 years ago

Once when i was in 5th grade i was in an assembly and the floor was gonna echo but i had to get it out i farted so freaking loud everyone scooted away. I laughed so hard i peed myself. It smelled so bad we had to leave 10 minuets early Lol.


fart blaster 3 years ago

I fart all the time at sleepovers and make sure the victim's nose is right infront of my crack


bob 3 years ago

fat people farting is very funny


Richard 3 years ago

I like to smell guys farts. Certain guys, not just any.


Butt 3 years ago

I luv farting and wish it was so much easier to do with no eating!!


Haha 3 years ago

I love farting


Jerry 3 years ago

Kroger brand pinto beans in a can on an empty stomach. Then off to a crowded noisy bar. You'll have the most God awfull frarts for everyone to enjoy. Garanteed. Have fun my friends.


123will 2 years ago

I just wanna fartwhy does it have to be so hard


Jim 2 years ago

My bro and I farted in a water bottle and told our sisters to sniff it and one fainted.


Taste 2 years ago

I wish I could make a fart that would last all day longplbrt


No ya 2 years ago

What about instaly


H2hhk4 2 years ago

I feel so good to leave out a good long silent fart IT WAS DEADLY!!!!


fartastic idea 20 months ago

one time my sister put her crack in my face and farted i was like eww u farted on my nose her crack was on my nose my nose was in her crack...


Kid 20 months ago

Farting in parliament would be tight.. Or inside a volt

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    farting in public

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    lucy 5 years ago

    yes i loved it i farted in my boyfriends mouth, he loved the taste!, he said it tasted like chicken and leek soup YUM!


    Poop 4 years ago

    This is very true because my little sister is having serious problems with her farts she let's them rip ever 5min we need your help any ideas?


    Jerry 3 years ago

    Kroger brand pinto beans in a can. Garenteed!!!!!


    Jerry 3 years ago

    Kroger brand pinto beans in a can. Garenteed!!!!!


    fart woman to the rescue! 20 months ago

    yep i can help ya get lots of beans and garlic put it in a bowl and mix it all good make her drink it - say its medicine for her farts- after a while she will fart and her fart will be so strong,so loud, so powerfull! it will blow out the house wall injoy being killed by your sisters giant farts!


    fart woman to the rescue! 20 months ago

    yep i can help ya get lots of beans and garlic put it in a bowl and mix it all good make her drink it - say its medicine for her farts- after a while she will fart and her fart will be so strong,so loud, so powerfull! it will blow out the house wall injoy being killed by your sisters giant farts!

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      Comments 5 comments

      Ginell aka Nelly 5 years ago

      LMFAOOOOO!!! It was halirious :)


      Gagancreep 4 years ago

      Farting is my brother and i favorite sport


      jen 3 years ago

      omg thts personal information but still hahhhaaa


      fart woman to the rescue! 20 months ago

      heyo want to make big farts? if you do mix garlic with different kinds o beans, bread - garlic bread maybe - , some grains like rice and stuff, put in some hot peppers or hot sause, mix it up and eat it btw make it like a milk shake after you eat take some docter pepper and drink it up real fast when u r going to burp hold it in and when u r going to fart hold it in as u hold it the fart will get bigger and bigger. Enjoy! hope it works for you cause it did for me!


      fart woman to the rescue! 20 months ago

      heyo want to make big farts? if you do mix garlic with different kinds o beans, bread - garlic bread maybe - , some grains like rice and stuff, put in some hot peppers or hot sause, mix it up and eat it btw make it like a milk shake after you eat take some docter pepper and drink it up real fast when u r going to burp hold it in and when u r going to fart hold it in as u hold it the fart will get bigger and bigger. Enjoy! hope it works for you cause it did for me!

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