How to Be the Most Annoying Co-Worker Ever!
Bored at Work?
Are you bored at work? Are you trying to figure out new ways to make the day go by faster? Would you like to make everyone at work dislike you? Would you like to quit your job, but in this economy you can't, so you need to get fired?
Have no fear! This is the hub for you. You can learn some fast and easy techniques to annoy everyone around you at work in no time at all. You might even opt to totally annoy your boss. You are basically a total Annoying Co-Worker Superstar! You might even get fired if you take my advice. Hey, wait a minute. Maybe I shouldn't even share this information. I suppose you should read this only if you dare!
Some Simple Ideas
1. Start quoting from Office Space or The Office all the time, even if your co-workers have no idea what you are referencing. Refuse to get out of character even when everyone stops talking to you.
2. Start eating really smelly food at your desk. Broccoli is a really good choice.
3. Put smelly leftovers in your co-workers' trash bins. An especially obnoxious trash item is a banana peel. There will be swarms of gnats in no time!
4. When co-workers talk about their children, talk about your pets in the same manner. Insist your pets are just the same as children, only your pets are nicer and better behaved.
5. Answer your calls with, "Yo! What do you want now?"
6. Take naps at your desk. Make sure to snore.
7. Start challenging co-workers to office chair races. When they refuse, tell them it is because they never had a chance against you.
8. Write graffiti on the bathroom walls such as: "Call Kevin at extension 649 for a good time."
9. Wear too much perfume. If possible, if there is one person you really want to annoy, find out what scent he or she hates the most, and spray it every hour.
10. Jam the printer and don't fix it. I know people do that all the time. I didn't ever say your office didn't already have some annoying people working there.
11. Sing all the time. Even if you are a great singer, trust me, it is still obnoxious.
12. Make paper airplanes during meetings. If no one pays attention, fly one across the room.
13. Correct your co-workers all the time. Even if you are not right, still do it. They will hate you in no time.
14. When having a conversation with your boss, say things like, "Yeah, that is what my last manager said. Ever wonder what happened to him?"
15. Start bedazzling your whole office or desk. When you're done, start on other people's desks.
16. While your co-worker is at lunch, turn off the lights, lock the door, and see what happens when he or she gets back.
17. Bring your pets to work. Let them roam around all over the office. If your puppy has an accident on the floor, blame it on one of your co-workers.
18. Start making random announcements on the office intercom. Make sure to mention your office is having a "Blue Light Special" in the lobby. If you happen to work at Kmart, don't bother with that announcement - it won't be funny at all. It will probably just be truthful.
19. Order food for random people at the office. When the delivery guy shows up, never fess up to making the order. Just have your co-worker try to figure out whether to pay for the food or send it back.
20. Just 4 words for you: motion activated Halloween decorations. Set them up everywhere. If they scream, even better.
Let the Office Torture Begin!
I hope you won't torture your co-workers too much with these ideas. It is OK to have a little fun with your co-workers or get a little revenge sometimes. Just don't go too far. If you get fired, it is on you.
Copyright ©2011 Jeannieinabottle
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