Monsters! What scares you 2!

MY SPORE CREATION

Just thought I would add a photo to this hub. I have monsters on the brain!    I created this creature with the "Spore" Creature creator.
Just thought I would add a photo to this hub. I have monsters on the brain! I created this creature with the "Spore" Creature creator.

Where Can you make your own creature?

Keeping It Real

One thing I learned about being a writer, is that you have to do something to get a readers attention. Although I am not a professional writer, I know what I enjoy reading. That is what I try to create in my work. If I start reading something that I don't like, or get bored with it, I usually scrap it and start over.

If you are a writer, and hope to get some information from this hub, I don't suggest using what I am about to suggest, it's just something to think about. My main concern has always been what people want to read, and not what professional writers suggest, or, expect when they are looking for a manuscript. A lot of which I find long, and kind of pointless.

A lot of "rules" of writing that I have tried in the past only lead to frustration. So, I say, heck with the rules. I am going to write what I feel, and try to let the reader experience that when I write. All this "Someone has to want something badly", "Protagonist ", and "Antagonist." seems to always lead me off in a direction that I don't want to go.

Another thing I find really boring is novels that are way to descriptive. I'm the reader, and if you spend 3 paragraphs telling me what something looks like, or have a lot of talk between to charactors without "he said" and "she said" I begin to wonder who is really saying what.

I guess some of the authors who write the self help for writers books, and write the "rules" in writing programs, don't really take the average reader into consideration. A majority of them could care less about all the technical stuff. A lot of them will read just about anything, as long as it isn't too long, or uninteresting.

With that said. I am going to leave you with a few short paragraphs from the Sci-fi thriller I am working on. keep in mind, that I am only an amateur. I would like to know what you think. Is it good? Bad? need revising? Would you recommend it? Want to read further?

let me know what you think.

 

A few paragraphs from my x project

Commander Riker stood at the edge of the glass enclosure surveying his newly found discoveries. There were four of them, and they were quite possibly the ugliest things he had ever seen. He marveled at the way they quickly took down the goat, killing it within seconds ans scurrying about with the pieces they liked.

He took selfish pride in knowing that these things were now his. It was as if he had his own demented aquarium. Just thinking of how much money he was going to get for finding these creatures alive, more than made up for how deadly he was sure they would become.

The fact that these creatures killed 3 of his men, and, slaughtered all the other victims meant little to him. He could even block out the death of the Anderson kid, without so much as a blink. Those kids were in a restricted area, and, only had themselves to blame for that. You win some and you lose some. Sad, but true.

Still, as he stood watching the creatures gulp down the remains of the goat, he had to keep his mind on his objective. It's not the money, or these horrible looking creatures that mattered, or, all the people that might suffer horrible deaths before all is said and done. All that matters is gathering that Venom. One day, just a small amount of this toxic slime could be added to the smallest weapon, and bring down a person in a matter of seconds. The ultimate secret weapon. The target would be dead before they even felt the hit.

"You're one sick twisted individual." Officer Spencer said, as he sat tied to his chair.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Riker replied, with an evil grin.

"What do you plan to do with these creatures." Spencer asked fearing the outcome.

"Revenge my friend. They'll never see them coming." Riker replied

"What are you talking about?" Spencer asked. "Who will never see them coming?"

Riker pointed to the television monitor, and there were two blindfolded men laying on the floor inside of a glass booth. They appeared to be unconscious but, one of them was moving. Spencer watched as the men slowly rose to their feet, removing their blindfolds. They became alarmed as they searched for a door, but there appeared to be no way out.

Spencer watched in horror as Riker pushed a few buttons on his computer, and the glass booth began to move into the aquarium. The men in the booth could soon see the creatures below, and Spencer could tell that they were greatly frightened. After seeing what had become of the goat, Spencer knew that these men were about to become face to face with death. And, Riker was smiling, and loving every minute of it.

What's Next?

After reading this hub several times, it is obvious to me that it needs a little more description. However, the reason I did not get too descriptive, is because I didn't want to give away too much. One of the things I like to do is keep my readers guessing.

You're probably wondering why the two men are in the glass booth. Well, to make it short, the two men are captured terrorists. One has been tried for cutting off the heads of 3 American soldiers, and the other is the mastermind behind several car bombings, which killed over 75 people. Both of them have been to trial and sentenced to death.

Riker used his clout to extract the men from prison and has been trying to get information from them using conventional means with no success. Imagine you are the terrorists hanging in a glass box over a pit of monsters that are not only salivating over you, they are swatting at the glass with their poisonous tails, or trying to break the glass with their fangs.

You can see Riker with his hands on the controls, pointing to the buttons, and pretending to push them, as he explains to you which button does what. You are an extra person in the room what do you think is going to happen to these men?

You can use the following poll to let me know what you think will happen. I already know what has or hasn't happened to the terrorists. but, I would like to know what action you think would be best to finish this drama.

You can also add your own comment. What would you like to see happen?

 

 

Curious about what happens next?

What do you think will happen to the men in the glass booth?

  • The men will be left to think about their fate, or ask to negotiate?
  • Spencer will try to reason wither Riker, because what he is doing is wrong?
  • The floor to the booth will be slowly removed, inch by inch, until the men fall to their death
  • The booth will be lifted from above, and the creatures move in for the kill.
  • The power fails, and Riker's plans to possibly execute his prisoners falls flat.
  • Riker just toys with the men. For his own personal enjoyment.
  • Spencer breaks free from his chair and fights Riker. To set the men free.
See results without voting

If there was a gay scene in the movie "Aliens", This would be it!

I was just trying to figure out how they would work a gay charactor into Aliens. I think this would be the one! LOL!    This is my own cartoon!
I was just trying to figure out how they would work a gay charactor into Aliens. I think this would be the one! LOL! This is my own cartoon!

My Fun Cartoon Poll.

Here are some other lines for the above cartoon. Pick your favorite

  • I hear that this alien slime is good for your skin.
  • Well, I guess this means it's not a bondage thing.
  • Oh How cute! The aliens eggs are hatching. AWE!!!
  • Are you as turned on as I am right now?
  • Lets go into space he says. It will be fun. Are you having fun yet?
  • It's probably bad timing but I think you're realy hot!
  • Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore toto! Auntie Em! Auntie Em!
See results without voting

A 2012 UPDATE! (SORRY!)

I know it has been a while since I updated this hub, unfortunately, I do not have anything new to add. The story is was writing bit the bullet. I had well over 40 pages of work on my computer, and a power outage blew the mother board on my computer, and took a lot of good stuff with it. So, I will mostly likely scrap. My alien critter story, and move on to another project.

But, just so that I do not leave you hanging. The terrorists mentioned above, were given an ultimatum. Either give the information to where their base was, or die. They of course refused, and spit on the glass. Commander Riker pushed one of the control buttons, and the floor began to slowly move out from under the terrorists feet. They moved to one side of the booth, and, started screaming to be freed. Commander Riker stopped the floor half way, and the creatures began to try to jump up into the booth.

He gave them a last chance to talk, and they again refused, so he pushed the button again, and the floor began to slip away from under the terrorists feet. One of the creatures jumped up, and was able to latch it;s claw onto the floor, and began swatting at the men with it's poisonous tail. They floor stopped again, but the creature hung there, until it snared one of the men and pulled him out of the booth into the aquarium, where the creatures began ripping him apart and eating him. He was dead before he hit the ground.

The other terrorist saw this, and shouted. Please! I'll Talk! I'll Talk! But, it was too late, another creature jumped up into the booth, snared the terrorist and dragged him down into the aquarium. Soon, there was not much left of either man. It was the most horrible thing either Commander Riker, or officer Spencer had ever seen,

"Those creatures need to be destroyed!" Spencer said.

Of course, since I lost all of what I had written before, I just threw that in. I was really having fun writing this story, but I was really having a hard time figuring out how I would want to end it. I also found that I wanted to add more people to the story. Maybe give officer Spencer a good reason to want to hunt down and kill the remaining monsters. But, then I would also constantly try to think up and even creepier monster, and take my story in a different direction.

Like, maybe the creatures they had discovered were parasites that were part of a much larger creature, that nobody had seen yet. But, that seemed a bit too much like Aliens or Cloverfield, and I wanted my creatures to be something nobody has done before. So, I kept wanting to change it. But, they say, a good writer will always want to re-invent himself. So, I'll put my project on hold. But, I would like to know your thoughts on what I brought you so far.

Thanks for reading! Have a great day!

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Comments 6 comments

Ohma profile image

Ohma 6 years ago

I am kinda lost. Was it your intention to to depict one of the all time straight laced Startrek good guys as an evil masochist? If so I hope there is some serious mind control or otherworldly possesion going on.


brimancandy profile image

brimancandy 6 years ago from Northern Michigan Author

Not sure what you mean by that. But, any comment is a good one. But, this has nothing to do with star trek. I take it you were referring to commander Riker in your comment?

However, you are kind of correct on the otherworldly comment. But, there are so many evil twists to this story

that, I sometimes feel that might be leading people to belive something, and then go off in a totally different direction. That's how I roll.

Thanks for your comment.


Ohma profile image

Ohma 6 years ago

Any Trek geek myself included will make the same assumption that I did about the name of your primary character. If it is not your intention to right a Startrek story you might want to consider changing the characters name.


brimancandy profile image

brimancandy 6 years ago from Northern Michigan Author

Oh. I never thought of that Star Trek officer. But, there are a lot of other Riker's out there. I think william shatner played an officer Riker in Aiplane II. But, I might be wrong. I don't plan on changing my charactors name. Because I know that it is not the same person you refer to.

Also Riker is not my primary charactor.


sagbee profile image

sagbee 6 years ago from Delhi

The face! it is the one thing that is scary about monsters.. rest all is fine.. lol.. you have written a nice hub.. :)


brimancandy profile image

brimancandy 5 years ago from Northern Michigan Author

Thanks sagbee. Glad you enjoyed it.

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