the art of picking your nose and how not to get caught
The art of picking your nose and how not to get caught.
To pick or not to pick, is that the question? The answer to that question is pick. According to a study done in 1995 requesting information from 1000 randomly selected adults about nose picking, defined as the insertion of a finger or other object into the nose with intention of removing dried nasal secretions. Of the 1000 requests sent out 254 of them were returned. Of those who responded 91% said they were current nose pickers, (but only 75% of those believed everyone did it) and two people claimed that they spent between 15-30 minutes and 1-2 hours a day picking their nose. Wow, thats a lot of nose picking going on.
This guy got a little to carried away!
Tips and Pointers!
There are two types of nasal stuff (yes, that is the technical term) you will probably find in your nose, snot and boogers. Snot being the runny stuff (another technical term) and boogers the dried snot. This works kinda like how raisins were once grapes, but they have dried and receive a different name, the same goes for your mucus.
Snot is not something for picking, it is hard to hide that you have done this and it's pretty messy, so this is better left to the veteran nose picker. Sometimes you might think you are just picking a booger but get the snot trail behind it, this is a sticky situation and you have probably been seen by someone as the long snot trail is a dead give away. You will have to think fast on your feet and fake a sneeze or blame allergies.
Now for the different kind of picking:
- Fake nose scratch- this technique can be achieved after many hours of practice. You have to make it look ike a real scratch while hiding the finger enetering the nasal cavity.
- Pick and save- when you pick as someone looks away, and you pocket the snot so as not to get caught.
- Pick and flick- Boogers make great weapons!
- Autopick- picking in your automobile
- Pick and stick- for those of you who have to stick your booger on a surface.
- Roll and throw- Done with boogers not snot as the snot will not make a ball that can be thrown
- Wiper- wiping with your shirt sleeve, hand or other article. Not technically a pick but is effective at relieving snot from getting all over your face.
- Paydirt- when you pick your nose and get a booger so big that you improve your breathing by 90%
- Pick your brain- Inserting the finger so far into the nasal passage that you pass the septum
- Kiddie pick- when you are by yourself and you uninhibitly twist your finger into your nose with childlike joy and freedom. The best part is that there is no time limit.
I have decided to give a few tips to those of you who dare delve into your nasal passasges for the ever present nose nugget.
- Never try to pick the nose of another, they probably won't like it.
- Keep your nails short as you could scratch your nasal passage and do damage.
- Never insert sharp objects into yor nose, Ouch!
- never insert anything bigger than your thumb. The reasons for this are obvious.
- Never insert anything that could get lost or lodged in there, this would be embarrassing and probably painful.
Need some nose picking inspiration.......
I have rowses and rowses of noses and noses
And why they all growses I really can't guess.
No lilies or roses, just cold-catching noses,
And when they all blowses, it's really a mess.
They runs and they glowses, these sneezity noses,
They drips and they flowses, they blooms and they dies.
But you can't bring no noses to fine flower showses
And really expect them to give you a prize.
But each mornin' I goeses to water with hoses
These rowses of noses that I cannot sell,
These red sniffly noses that cause all my woeses,
Why even the crowses complain that they smell.
Why noses, not roses? Well, nobody knowses.
Why do you supposes they growses this thick?
But since there's no roses come gather some noses --
I guarantee each one's a good nose to pick.
A few nasal definitions
- Nose miner- One who spends copious amounts of time picking their nose.
- Nose Harp-When a persons nose hair is clearly visable.
- Nose goblins- Big boogers that you want to keep because you couldn't believe you just picked them from your own nose.
- Nose Enema- When drinking any liquid and choking or laughter causes said liquid to travel from mouth / throat up and through the nose
- Nose Bacon- the crusty dried snot/mucus, bloody or otherwise, that lines your nose when you have a cold or sinus infection. It usually dries very hard. It pulls at your nose lining and needs to be picked off & out, usually with a fingertip.
- Nose Jam- 1. Build up of partacles of dubious origin that make their domicile in the nasal cavity of most mammals. Can range in texture from crusty hardened solid lumps to a sloppy, viscous gel-like substance usually found dripping from the noses of the sick and feeble, the homeless, or human babies. Unknown exactly what the purpose of this mystery shape-changing element is, athough it has been documented that it can be used as an emergency food source when bored or hungry. Also used sometimes by teenagers as a material for sabotage or deviousness by wiping the matter liberally on another's personal property.
- Nose Gold- Boogers, snot,nose gobblins. There is a fine art to mining for nose gold.
- Nose Growin- To flat out tell a Lie in front of a group of friends.
- Nose Whistle- Not quite a snore, but more than heavy breathing thru your nose. That high pitched whistle from a properly stuffed nose.
- Nose Rogue- A nose rogue is a long nose hair that has extended some distance below the nostril and is highly conspicuous and unsightly. It is generally more common in men than women.
- Nose tampon- Rolling up toilet paper or tissue paper and sticking into one's nose.
- Nose Turkey- The mocking gesture made towards someone by placing the tip of your thumb on the end of your nose, and wiggling the rest of the outstretched fingers.
- Nose Smile- A smile so big that the corners of your mouth are parallel to the tip of your nose.
- Nose Chum- Greenish/yellowish smelly snot that usually appears when you have a sinus infection.
- Nose fro- Nose hair that needs trimed.
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