The Ultimate Howard Stern Project List
The Ultimate Howard Stern Project List Part 4
Continuing the list of projects that Howard Stern worked on outside of his regular radio show. These are the years from 2000 to the present.
MOVIE: Private Parts II
At the end of Private Parts Stuttering John shows up during the credits complaining that they ended the story before they got to the part where his character shows up. "I'm not even in this fucking movie! He says I'll be in the sequel What sequel?! Suppose this move sucks, then there won't even be any sequel!" More than ten years later and there still is no sequel. Clearly everyone thought that there would be a sequel back in 1997. The only question was if it would be called "Private Parts II" or "Miss America" after the second book. One of the problems was that Rysher did not sign any of the principals to a two picture deal obligating them to do a sequel. Howard felt that he wanted to do a different movie before he did the sequel. For a while he toyed with the idea of finally doing "The Adventures Of Fartman". Then there was the possibility of playing the Scarecrow in a Batman movie, then came the movie Jane. None of these movies were made and held Howard up for three years. In 1999 Howard separated from his wife Alison divorcing her in 2001. That same year Jackie Martling left the show over a salary dispute. This meant that the sequel would have him divorcing his wife, a topic he did not want to deal with, and having to work with Martling again during a time when he was still angry with him. Three years later John Melendez left the show meaning that if a sequel was made Howard would have to work with him again as well. More and more a Private Parts sequel was a film Howard wanted to avoid. Ivan also grew cold to the idea of a sequel. He allegedly had a fit when Howard announced his separation with Alison. The original movie was a love story. Now the sequel would be about Howard divorcing his wife and hooking up with a model. Still another reason why no sequel was made was that the first movie only made $41 million. Yes Paramount would have liked to do a sequel, but they were not dying to do a sequel they way they would with a blockbuster. And as of 2006 Howard is no longer working for Infinity/CBS Radio. The split was not amicable as CBS filed a lawsuit against Howard [ settled a few months later out of court ]. Since Infinity, CBS, Viacom, and Paramount are currently all the same company this means that Paramount is not particularly interested in working with Stern again. [ add to that the on air rants against Paramount executives for not releasing a deluxe version DVD for Private Parts. ] Still as improbable a sequel is right now it is not out of the question that a sequel could eventually be made.
TELEVISION: Son Of The Beach
The first an so far only television program produced by Howard Stern's production company. Timothy Stack had starred in the Jerry Springer Show parody "Night Stand". In one episode they get a prank call from a Howard Stern fan and Stack annoyed at the call claims he does not know who this Howard Stern person is and never heard of him, but then goes on to name everyone on his show. Howard was given a sound clip of that scene and he would regularly play it going into commercial breaks. A few years later E! got the rights to "Night Stand" reruns and aired them as a lead in to Howard's show. Stack approached Howard with an idea for a show that would be a parody of Baywatch. No doubt Stack had not only heard Howard mention his production company many times on the air but also knew that at the time Howard would regularly talk about Baywatch and called it one of his favorite shows. Howard in turn shopped the show around to different cable networks and surprisingly Rupert Murdoch was interested in buying the show for his FX Network. FX had been launched in 1994 as a channel that aired reruns of Fox network shows and 2oth Century Fox movies. Six years later very few cable companies had added the channel and it was still unavailable in New York City. Murdoch saw how Howard had turned E! from an obscure cable channel that no one had to a major channel available on all cable systems. Wanting the same for FX Murdoch was willing to bury the hatchet with Stern.
Stack and the shows other writers clearly pandered to Howard's listeners. Not only were show regulars and Wack Pack members frequently cast in cameo roles but jokes and plot lines were lifted from radio bits. For example Gilbert Gottfried was cast in two episodes. The first he played a rabbi much like the rabbi character he frequently did when a guest on Howard's radio show. The second he was turned into a vampire much like Dracula Gottfried. The humor on the show was hit and miss. Some jokes were embarrassingly bad while others were hilarious. Howard compared the humor in the show to that of "Get Smart".
Howard heavily promoted Son Of The Beach on his radio show and invited in guest stars to talk about their roles. Listeners who did not have the FX channel began demanding that their cable company add it. By 2001 New York City and other markets finally got the FX channel. In late 2002 FX was well established thanks to avid Howard Stern fans demanding it. No longer needing Howard's listeners Murdoch cancelled Son Of The Beach despite it being their best rated show. The official reason given was that the channel wanted to compete against HBO and needed the budget to finance such shows as "The Shield". FX does not air reruns of the episodes nor has allowed it to be syndicated.
Howard announced that his production companies second television show would be a post apocalyptic cartoon to air on UPN. Doomsday was created by Howard's friend producer Tracy Torme. It followed the Bradley Family who after a global nuclear war decide to go on a road trip in their Winnebago looking for a new place to live that was not in devastation. Of course they run into mutants and radiation created monsters along the way. Howard Stern had agreed to be the voice of the family's dog Orinthal who gains the ability to talk after the war. The show was scheduled to debut in the fall of 2000 but was held up in production for a year and was rescheduled to debut in either January or Fall of 2002. The shows were at least 90% completed with perhaps a couple of shows fully completed when terrorists attacked the World Trade Center on September 11th 2001. UPN executives panicked that no one wanted to see a post apocalyptic series after witnessing the destruction of lower Manhattan and in a knee jerk reaction cancelled the series before it even aired. No other network wanted the series so it was abandoned.
"Kane" was a sitcom about a wacky Southern family that CBS had lead Howard to believe they were interested in airing. When CBS decided to cancel Howard's Saturday night show they had told him that they wanted to replace it with Kane. Howard waited and waited for CBS to buy the series but they never contacted him again. Eventually Howard declared the project dead and that CBS had no real intentions of airing the show. The deal for CBS to pick up Kane as a syndicated show began long before the cancellation of the Saturday night show. CBS most likely decided not to buy episodes of Kane after Howard trashed their president and chief executive Les Moonves on the air for cancelling his Saturday Night show calling him a "snake in the grass" and other unpleasant things. Howard contends that they never intended to air Kane and just strung him along for months. Between the cancellation of Son Of The Beach, the preemptive cancellation of Doomsday, and Kane never being picked up 2002 turned out to be a bad year for the Howard Stern Production Company.
LIVE EVENT: Mr. Methane Live On Broadway
Howard was going to produce a live stage show on Broadway starring the fartist Mr. Methane, a British entertainer who farts on command and has the ability to fart out tunes. During the early 00's he was a regular guest on the radio show. Howard had discussed many times wanting to do some sort of stage show on Broadway with Wack Pack members or regular guests and in 2002 began serious talks to do so with Mr. Methane. The reason it never happened? Basically Howard lost interest and never got around to it. More recently there was talk about doing a made for Howard TV movie using the Fartman script and casting Mr. Methane but the idea was never pursued.
SEMI ABANDONED PROJECT
HOME VIDEO/TELEVISION: Howard Stern's Jackass
Howard said he was going to release a DVD of "Jackass" stunts done by his listeners. Back in 1990 Howard had planned to release a video with a segment called "America's Grossest Home Videos" and had asked listeners to send in their own videos. Lawyers convinced Howard that it was not legal to use video of people injuring themselves and the segment was never made. Some of the videos that did not involve injury were later used for Butt Bongo Fiesta. In 2000 MTV began airing "Jackass", a show who's cast pulled stunts that injured them or caused them pain. When the first Jackass movie hit theaters Howard remembered the Americas Grossest Home Videos tapes that Lawyers told him he could never use and wondered why Jackass was able to do shows that featured basically the same thing. Howard decide he wanted to make a new DVD called "Howard Stern's Jackass" which would use the Americas Grossest Home Video tapes as well as new videos sent in by listeners and Wack Pack members. At some point Howard decided to make his version of Jackass an episode of his E! show. Inevitably it was decided only to use existing footage already shown on the E! show such as Beetlejuice and his manager trying to climb up a billboard and falling down, Jeff the Drunk falling down in the elevator bank, and A.J. Benza punching Stuttering John. No listener submitted videos were used in the episode.
Howard's official website. Someone had registered the domain name howardstern.com and Howard did not want him using it. So he paid the person an unknown amount of money for the domain name. Originally Howard wanted nothing to do with owning a website and if you logged in to howardstern.com you would get a blank screen. In the summer of 2002 a fan named Randy Cantor took a photo of a drunken Gary sitting at a table in a restaurant. Howard thought it was so funny that he wanted to share it with his listeners and originally was going to hold it up for the E! Show which would take at least one week to air and most probably would end up never airing as what happened with many other photos and artwork Howard held up to the television cameras. If something aired on the E! show it was usually only if it could be tied into a guest appearance or stunt. Someone suggested that if he put it on his unused website then it would be up by the end of the day. Within a day of the photo being posted on the site another fan emailed in a photoshop of the same picture turning Gary into a monkey face. The photoshop picture was added to the website and the two pictures remained there for months. This was the very first version of howardstern.com.
In July of 2004 Howard was talked into using the site to post recaps of that days show. In turn he decided to take advantage of the new advances in computer technology and build an entire site with picture galleries and video clips. In the fall of 2004 Howard created a message board for his site. So many listeners registered that the site crashed and Howard had to lease several extra servers to host the site. The problem was that too many listeners were using the message board that it was impossible to moderate. Howard became worried that he would be sued for allowing listeners to post copyrighted photos and removed the image hosting function. [ although many members knew how to get images hosted without the image hosting link. ] He was also worried about being sued for libel for something one of the board members posted. the last straw was when the site was besieged by trolls who posted the home address and phone numbers of various Wack pack members and perhaps even cast members from the radio show. Howard pulled the plug on the message board. Other websites adopted their own message boards so that the community started on Howard's website would have a new home, the most successful being sternfannetwork.com. Although no longer having a fan forum howardstern.com continues to be a popular website and is still updated every day the show is on the air.
TELEVISION: Etiquette For Outlaws
A reality show from Howard's production company based on the book "Etiquette For Outlaws" that was supposed to air on Showtime. It was never made and there is still no explanation as to why. Reality shows are relatively inexpensive to produce and usually do well in the ratings. You had a show based on a hit book produced and promoted by Howard Stern. Even if Showtime changed their mind and turned the show down some other cable network should have picked it up.
TELEVISION: Howard Stern, The High School Years
Spike TV had asked Howard Stern Productions to produce a cartoon about his high school years. So what happened? A number of things. Spike originally planned to have a block of adult cartoons after 10pm. They already had "Gary the Rat", "Ren & Stimpy's Adult Party" and "Stripperella" airing when they ran into censorship problems. The television's rating board was going to classify the entire channel as adult out of fears that children would be drawn to the adult cartoon block. Spike put the cartoons on hiatus inevitably cancelling all of them in 2004. The block of adult cartoons no longer existed for Howard Stern: The High School Years to be a part of, and yet Spike continued to order episodes of Howard's cartoon. Once again production was delayed by nearly three years before they were ready to animate the episodes. Meanwhile Chris Rock created a live action show called "Everyone Hates Chris" which was exactly the same as "..The High School Years" making Howard's concept less desirable. Spike cut the budget per episode to $300,000 when it would cost Howard's production company nearly $1 Million an episode. Inevitably both sides agreed to cancel the project .
TELEVISION: The Bob Schimmel Show
Was suppose to be a sitcom based on comedian Robert Schimmel's real life. The CEO of the WB network Jordan Levin was listening to Howard Stern on the radio when Robert Schimmel was a guest. Robert was on with his daughter talking about their home life and how he had fallen in love and hooked up with one of his daughters friends. The more Levin listened the more he began to realize that it would make a great sitcom. So he contacted Howard's production company and arranged for them to produce a show with Schimmel. A pilot was reportedly made and shown at the WB upfronts where it was rejected. [ at least that was the WB's explanation as to why the pilot was rejected. As it turned out Jordan Levin was about to be forced into resigning from the network which may have played into why a show that he helped create was not picked by the network. ] The pilot was immediately shopped around to different networks and was picked up by Fox under the new title "Schimmel & Schimmel" as a possible mid season replacement series. From that point on there is no explanation as to why the show never aired, although Howard has alluded that it could have been problems with Robert Schimmel.
HOME VIDEO: E! Show Uncensored DVD
This was suppose to be a DVD box set of random episodes from the E! show shown uncensored. It took longer than they expected to go through all the E! episodes to find all the ones where women stripped and language was bleeped. By the time the episodes were nearly completed Howard had signed with iN Demand and decided to use the uncensored episodes on Howard On Demand instead.
LIVE EVENT/TELEVISION: Wack Pack Conclave
Inspired by the papal conclave that elected Pope Benedict XVI, Howard wanted to lock most or all of the Wack Pack into a room and not allow them to leave until they elected one of them to be the Wack Pack Pope. Being a pre-Howard T.V. project there was no one to keep the idea alive and it became quickly forgotten.
TELEVISION: Howard Stern TV / Howard Stern On Demand
After the cancellation of the E! Show Howard announced that beginning with his Satellite shows he would be launching a pay-per-view channel on iN DEMAND, a service that allows viewers with digital boxes to download and watch programming. It is exclusive to Comcast, Cox Communications, and Time Warner Cable which means other cable services are unlikely to have it. In addition cable companies that have the service do not always have every channel. The technology is incompatible with satellite television. This means that a huge percentage of former E! channel viewers do not have or cannot get Howard Stern On Demand. For those who can subscribe to the channel there have been many complaints that programs are often missing or arrive late. typically daily shows are pulled from the system three weeks after their debut date while specials or vault episodes are only available for a month and a half. Subscribers [ me included ] have had to go through hell trying to contact both iN DEMAND and their local cable company to get missing content added. Currently iN DEMAND blames Howard TV for failing to send all their content while Howard TV blames the individual cable companies for being lazy and not adding the content to the menus when they should. There are also complaints about the system crashing and being down for many hours before technicians at the cable company get around to fixing the problem. One big complaint about the channel is that Howard is unwilling to pay for the licensing fee for music. That means that music guests shown on his iN DEMAND shows do not include the performances, even though through the entire interview you see them holding instruments. This also effects the game "Stump The Booey" where Gary and a contestant listen to the beginning of a song and both try to guess what it is. On the television version instead of hearing the song you here the jeopardy Baba Booey theme. On some occasions the artist owns the publishing rights to his/her music and gives Howard permission to use it on the show for free. On those occasions Howard does air the music performances.
Another common complaint is lack of programming. For a steep $14 subscription plus an obligation by subscribers to pay for more than $100 in higher tier programming a month in order to subscribe to any of the iN Demand channels viewers feel they are entitled to a certain amount of hours worth of shows. They complain that out of 11 years and more than 1,200 hours of E! Shows that the channel keeps repeating the same 50 hours worth of shows in their "Best of" categories. Others wonder why so little of the Sirus shows ends up on the channel. No more than 2 hours of each Sirius show airs as part of the Daily Show category and sometimes interviews and bits that were deliberately saved to air later during weeks where Howard is on vacation are completely forgotten about. Complaints aside Howard TV does offer a few hours of original programming each week geared to the average taste of his listeners, from the unwatchable and so far only made for Howard TV movie "Supertwink", to reality shows like "Miss Howard Stern Show", "Killers of Comedy" and "Wack Pack at the Christy's Farm", to game shows like "Strip Beer Pong" and "Stump The Booie", comedies like "Show in the Hallway", and other originals like "Interview With A Porn Star" and the holiday specials.
LIVE EVENT: The Howard Stern Annual Film Festival
This was to be an annual film festival where listeners submit short films about Howard Stern. The best entries are shown and prizes are given out. In a separate category Stern Show cast members submit their own short films for competition. A theater was booked but without Howard's knowledge it was only booked for three hours. It was not until the last minute when it was too late to find a different theater that Howard was told about this. Otherwise the festival was a success. Most of it including the finalists short films aired on Howard's iN DEMAND channel. A second annual film festival was planned but never happened.
MOVIE: Man Of The Year
After the movie "Man of the Year" had been released Howard announced that he was originally asked to be the star. Barry Levinson wanted Howard as the lead. Howard wanted to work with Barry Levinson. According to Howard he could not do the movie because it would have begun shooting at the same time he was scheduled to begin his Sirius shows.
PROJECTS CURRENTLY IN PRE-PRODUCTION HELL
Call it old age, call it Howard being disillusioned after so many of his projects were killed off in their early stages, call it the projects that did see the light of day that Howard never got paid for, or call it Howard wanting to spend most of his time with his beautiful wife Beth, but in the past few years Howard has not announced any new projects. He has even commented that he is no longer interested in projects outside his satellite radio show. However there are still a few projects he is involved with that have not yet materialized but are not quite dead.
TELEVISION: The ABC Interview Show
Howard has a deal to interview celebrities and heads of state for ABC News in a series of specials He kept saying that he was waiting for someone important to interview as the reason why he was not getting around to an interview show. But four years later and still not a single interview. Not much of a loss as Howard is already interviewing celebrities on his satellite show.
MOVIE: Howard Stern's Porky's
Howard Stern bought the rights to remake two movies from the early 80's. One of them is "Porky's" Okay, I agree. "Porky's" is among the comedy classics of that era ranking somewhere between "Caddyshack" and "Animal House". But the movie had no plot. It was nothing but a series of short sex stories involving a group of teenagers in the 50's. Unless Howard is planning a shot-by-shot remake, which is pointless since the original version was flawless, then what he will end up with is a movie that is completely different but has the same title. He should have done what the producers of "American Pie" did. Basically "American Pie" is an update of the "Porky's" concept but with an original title, and they did not have to pay anyone for any movie rights. This movie project has two strikes against it. The original is a classic that is near impossible to top and has no plot that can be remade. It would be a miracle if any suitable script is ever written for this project, and a disaster if a lesser version of "Porky's" is made and released. Odds are this is never released with Howard Stern's name on it. Currently the script is in it's fifth rewrite [ at least ] as the first four scripts were rejected. Could possibly start production by 2011, but that is being very optimistic
MOVIE: Howard Stern's Rock 'n' Roll High School
The other movie Howard Stern bought the rights to remake. Unlike the Porky's project the original "Rock 'n' Roll High School" had enough of a plot that a remake is possible. And the original movie sucked, so any remake could only be better. There is one huge problem and that is almost all of the Ramones are dead. The original movie revolved around a girl who was an obsessed Ramones fan, and when she stages a student revolt the Ramones show up at the school. You can't use the Ramones in the remake, and there are no current recording acts who are their equivalent. The last thing anyone wants to see is Howard Stern's Rock 'n' Roll High School starring the Jonas Brothers, but that is probably the sort of rock band that the studios will want in the remake. The script is currently being rewritten. The Howard Stern Production Company recently had it removed from Imdb so there is no proposed production date. According to a recent press releases from the Howard Stern Production Company the movie is currently being completely rewritten by Alex Winter who was Bill from the movie "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"
HOME VIDEO: Private Parts Ultimate Edition DVD
Going back to when Private Parts was originally released on home video Howard wanted to release a Laserdisc with deleted scenes. Enough deleted scenes exist from Private Parts that a second movie could practically be made. But Paramount released the no thrills version with no extras both on Laserdisc and later on DVD. Executives at Paramount were reluctant to release deluxe versions of their movies because they were very expensive to produce and they worried that if they released too many deluxe versions then all the directors would be demanding deluxe edition releases. Eventually Paramount began to see that DVDs with all the extras sold better than no thrills versions and changed their opinion. Today most Paramount DVDs are released as collectors editions with all the bells and whistles you could expect on a DVD. Unfortunately they also have a strategy of double dipping. Whenever a movie or television show has a cult following they will release a no thrills version first announcing there will be no collector's edition, then a year or more later the collectors edition does come out. They do this expecting fans of the movie or television show to buy both versions. Occasionally they release edited versions of movies or television shows and later release the uncut versions. Paramount is not the only company accused of doing this, but they are one of the biggest offenders. When they approached Howard to release a no thrills version of Private Parts on Blu-Ray Howard refused to allow it unless he got to release the extras he wanted on the disc. Paramount refused and both sides were at an impasse. When Private Parts celebrated it's 10th year anniversary it was completely out of print and Howard was so angry with Paramount that he did not give a crap. Howard has claimed that he repeatedly tried to buy the distribution rights to the movie from Paramount so he could put out his own DVD but each time they refused. So what would the Private Parts Ultimate Edition DVD have? The following...
# The theatrical release of the movie
# The television edit [ a.k.a. the USA Network version ]
# The alternate longer version
# Commentary from the cast and crew
# All deleted scenes and outtakes
# Every movie trailer
# The music video "Hard Charger"
# The "Making Of Private Parts" documentary
# The MTV coverage of the premiere with the live concert
# The MTV Screening room special
# The E! show episodes from the premiere after party
# Gallery of stills, lobby cards, movie posters, and promotional items
And perhaps some of the following...
# New making of documentary and interview with cast members 10 years later
# The Private Parts E! Infomercial
# E! Coverage of the premiere
# A documentary on the Private Parts book including media coverage of the book signing tour
# Clips from promotional appearances on shows like Letterman and Leno
# Exclusive for the DVD, Howard and Rob Zombie finally film the "Great American Nightmare" video.
# And there may as well be a video for the Dust Brothers "Tortured Man"
# A documentary where Howard goes back to the film locations and possibly also back to the original neighborhoods and radio studios portrayed in the film.
And if the DVDs come in a big goofy box or tin and costs $50 and up......
# Reproduction of the original shooting script
# Private Parts book [ most likely the paperback movie edition ]
# Limited edition movie stills and/or senitype
# The Private Parts Soundtrack Album CD
# hand carved limited edition figurine of Howard standing among buildings like in the poster
# A certificate of authenticity for the collector set saying the owner wasted $50+ on it.
HOME VIDEO: Channel 9 Shows on DVD
The same as with the Private Parts, Howard is still trying to buy the rights to his Channel 9 shows for release on DVD. And just like the situation with Paramount the executives at WWOR refuse to sell Howard the rights. As was stated before there were two different edits of each episode. The shows put into syndication did not include the commercials Howard did for local businesses and replaced them with footage not seen on Channel 9. No one has ever seen a complete episode other than those who worked on the show. The last episode was entirely clips of sequences that were ultimately not used on the show and Howard mentioned on the air that even that show had to be edited for time. He mentioned that Steve Rossi had a song that was edited out of one of the shows that they were going to use on the final show, and when it ran over they ended up editing out the Steve Rossi song again. That suggests hours worth of footage that no one has ever seen and would make for a fantastic deleted scene section. Of course getting WOR to sell Howard the rights is half the battle. He would also need to clear any music used on the show, and getting releases from guests on the show [ For example Underdog Lady claims that she was on the show against her will and has since denounced it. It will be one hell of a time trying to get Suzanne Muldowney to sign a release and if she does not then all her segments including the entire Hollyweird Squares segment would have to be edited out of the episodes.. Richard Simmons could also be a problem. He wasn't very happy with what Howard did during his segments. ]
Howard has also said he is thinking of re-releasing his old mail order videos. This would be nice as there was footage on all of those tapes that were not used. We are talking major deleted scene and outtake section. And it would be nice if he actually completed the 1990 video showing the complete backstage documentary for the Philadelphia funeral and the infamous hot tub incident with Jessica Hahn [ no problem. Both Jackie and Howard are now divorced from their 1990 wives. ] and the Americas Grossest Home Video segment with all the listener submissions. He has also talked about re-releasing "Crucified by the FCC" and possibly the entire unedited Christmas show. Another hot rumor is that Howard is in negotiations to buy the rights to his Fox pilots to release on DVD.
That's it for now. Who knows what Howard's next project will be. A new movie, a third book, or perhaps a fourth child? Or will Howard retire as he has threatened to do for the past 20 years and go off to the Hamptons with Beth to live out his days playing chess on the computer? Only time will tell, because the next surprise announcement could be at any time.
- The Ultimate Howard Stern Project List
This is the ultimate list of all projects Howard has announced he was working on during his radio show including movies, albums, books, television shows both broadcast and direct to video, and a historic run...
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