Child Neglect And Abuse - The Shame and The Guilt

Feeling neglected and unloved
Feeling neglected and unloved | Source

I Am Unlovable - It's My Fault

When children are restricted from love, they think it is their fault. They perceive themselves to be un-lovable. Then they learn to live with shame. Children carry guilt because they think they are "bad." After-all, if they were good then the parents would love them. It makes perfect sense to a young child.

When you further add harshness and criticism to the situation, the child is learning that he is a disappointment as well.Combining all this to additional drama and possible violence. Then, more self blame burns deeper and deeper. The self image is formed. This becomes the child's belief system.

Even when a much needed compliment comes, the child quickly and adamantely defends his position.Instead of replying "thank you" he questions his own worth by asking "do you really think so?" Or worse yet, he will assure the giver of the compliment that he's not worthy with remarks such as "no, I'm not or no, it's not true."

This behavior is very sad. Children learn from a very tender age that they are loved. Much of that comes from trust. You will never gain trust from a child when you confuse them with your own emotions. It makes no sense to tell a child you love them followed by a severe slap on the face. That - is confusing and abusive as well.

So where is love? It is found in the nurturing, it is found in the warmth of loving arms, it is found in the power of words, it is found in the trust and joy of being a child.

Most of all love is found by giving unconditional love.

My Own Story


As a child she gave her all,

trying to please her mother~

though she stood but 3 feet tall

she takes care of her sister and brother~


Living in fear of the screaming voice

that greeted her each day~

She grew to realize, she had no choice

No love would be coming her way~


She started school at the age of five

trembling from head to toe~

wanting to run away and hide

as fast as she could go~

Source

 

But her beautiful teacher, Miss Butterfield

Held her close to her soft warm breast~

Drying the tears that began to build

And soothing the pain in her chest~

 

“I don’t want to go home, Miss Butterfield

Can I go home with you?”~

Knowing that she could not yield

she did what  she had to do~

Sad, scared and alone
Sad, scared and alone | Source


At home, the dishes were waiting

and ironing piled up high~

no cookies for the taking

only little shoes to tie~


Tip-toeing to her mother,

She said, “I love you, so.”~

“and I love you like no other

I just wanted you to know.”~


Source

Bedtime comes and with it dreams

A journey to forever-land~

Where no one yells and no one screams

And no one ever raises a hand~


The little child is sent a friend

A piano is the name~

She sings and plays day after day

Music and joy become her game~


Melodies come easily as she starts to play

Making music to fill her heart~

at last she knows she has found her way

Her “friend” and she will never part~

Today she gives thanks for her childhood

“Miss Butterfield” and music too~

And now when she looks in the mirror

It all becomes so clear~


It took a challenging childhood

and a desperate need for love~

It took some prayers and a child's voice

speaking to God above~


She learned to give to others

with kindness and with song~

The gift of unconditional love

to give her whole lifelong~

Where is Love?

How to prevent Child Abuse

Not all child abuse is intentional. And I'm not excusing the actions used that are abusive or the person inflicting the abuse. Not at all. However there are many people who just don't realize that they are being abusive. They truly think that their behavior is justified. They mimic what they have learned from their own parents.

For these people as well as others who may be "in the dark" about preventing abuse on a child, here is a good tip to practice:

Never discipline a child when you are angry or upset. This rule is crucial to the prevention of abuse on a child. Use every bit of self-control you have and wait until you are in a calm state before issuing discipline.

Take a minute to think of what the word "disciple" means. A disciple is a follower of good. A disciple is also a teacher. A teacher evokes patience and understanding. I don't know about you, but I never learned a history lesson by being slapped in the face or hit on my back-side.

So what is the better alternative? Try using privileges to encourage good behavior. Reduce or omit television time, games, cell phones, desserts, sleep-overs and such. You know your child. And time-outs can help your child regain control and give them time to think about their behavior.

Spanking is considered a form of child abuse.  There are better ways to teach children.
Spanking is considered a form of child abuse. There are better ways to teach children. | Source

Child Abuse Perpetrator Statistics 2012

Table 3–13 Victims by Perpetrator Relationship, 2012

  • Duplicate Victims
  • Perpetrator
  • Number
  • Percent

PARENT

  • Father - 127,654
  • 18.7
  • Father and Other
  • 6,399
  • 0.9
  • Mother
  • 250,553
  • 36.6
  • Mother and Other
  • 40,495
  • 5.9
  • Mother and Father
  • 132,557
  • 19.4

Total Parents

  • 557,658
  • 81.5

NONPARENT

  • Child Daycare Provider
  • 2,541
  • 0.4
  • Foster Parent (Female Relative)
  • 287
  • 0.0
  • Foster Parent (Male Relative)
  • 61
  • 0.0
  • Foster Parent (Nonrelative)
  • 892
  • 0.1
  • Foster Parent (Unknown Relationship)
  • 304
  • 0.0
  • Friend and Neighbor
  • 2,161
  • 0.3
  • Group Home and Residential Facility Staff
  • 759
  • 0.1
  • Legal Guardian (Female)
  • 783
  • 0.1
  • Legal Guardian (Male)
  • 206
  • 0.0
  • More than One Nonparental Perpetrator
  • 6,746
  • 1.0
  • Other Professional
  • 936
  • 0.1
  • Partner of Parent (Female)
  • 1,953
  • 0.3
  • Partner of Parent (Male)
  • 15,880
  • 2.3
  • Relative (Female)
  • 10,436
  • 1.5
  • Relative (Male)
  • 20,245
  • 3.0
  • Other
  • 17,626
  • 2.6

Total Nonparents

  • 81,816
  • 12.0

UNKNOWN

  • Unknown
  • 44,774
  • 6.5

Total Unknown

44,774

6.5

Total

684,248

Source

Signs of child abuse and neglect

The following signs may signal that abuse or neglect is present in a child. It is your duty to report any of these signs:


  • No adult supervision.
  • Shows sudden changes in behavior and in school performance.
  • Shows up early for school and stays late not wanting to go home.
  • Has trouble concentrating or other signs of learning problems that are not connect to a physical or psychological cause.
  • Always being watchful as if something bad is about to happen.
  • Hasn't received help for physical or medical problems that have been brought to the attention of the parent.
  • Comes to school with no lunch or money, ticket for lunch day after day.
  • Wets their pants.
  • Isolates themselves at play time.
  • Cries for seemingly no reason.
  • Stutters, excessive fidgeting, falling asleep in class are other signs of abuse and neglect.

Have a tissue ready -

Summary

Each one of us are responsible for the safety and protection of children. Recognizing child abuse is a place to start. Child abuse includes physical, emotional, sexual and pure neglect inflicted by a parent or care-taker.

My own abuse was mostly emotional with a little physical thrown in. If I had a choice I would prefer the physical. When a parent verbally terrorizes the child, continually and severely criticizes the child, or fails to express any affection or nurturing, they are abusing the child.

Pay attention and be involved in a child's life. My own kindergarten teacher, Miss Butterfield, taught me that I am lovable. She is responsible for my level of self-confidence. Bless all the teachers who take the time to stand up for the rights of children.

Children are our legacy and hope for the future.

Statistics of Child Abuse Fatalities For 2012

For FFY 2012, a nationally estimated 1,640 children died from abuse and neglect at a rate of 2.20 per 100,000 children in the population
For FFY 2012, a nationally estimated 1,640 children died from abuse and neglect at a rate of 2.20 per 100,000 children in the population | Source

Resources

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cm2012.pdf#page=66

https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/statistics/can.cfm


Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime.”

© 2011 Audrey Hunt

More by this Author


Comments 114 comments

carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

This is a sad but beautiful poem vocalcoach. There are so many children in this world who don't have the love they so crave.May God bless them.


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 5 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

thank God for Mrs Butterfield and all those like her. What a difference teachers like these have made in the lives of so many. A little love and special attention is soaked up by longing hearts, especially in children who have a void in their lives. thank you for sharing this with us.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Very sad, very moving and very beautiful. How many children have lived this life? Voted up and awesome.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 5 years ago

So beautiful! Thank you dear vocalcoach! Beautiful!


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

A beautiful treatment to,a sad to say,common tradgedy.;)


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Audrey, this is one of your best. It is beautiful and written from the heart. Every parent and teacher has to be inspired by your words. Thank you.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

So very beautiful even if very sad.

You are talented and thanks for sharing your gift with us on here.Beautiful/awesome for this one.

take care

Eiddwen


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan

You have done a fine job presenting this poem. It is the story of many great people - trials, challenging childhoods....and yet they become a voice for the whole world.

Thank you for caring enough to represent the humble and lowly! Voted UP and Awesome today!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Eiddwen - I had to tell my story for all the little ones who are neglected. Thank you so much for your kind words. Love and peace - vocalcoach


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

drbj - I have learned that if needed, we can all overcome our extended environment. However, the scars remain. I so appreciate your very kind words and am proud to be related to you through our terrific hub family. God bless all the little ones who suffer abuse, quietly and courageously!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Treasuresofheaven - (That you are!). Excellent words of encouragement and support. I am on my way to visiting your hubs. Thank you, dear one!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Mentalist acer - Yes, child abuse is a terrible tragedy and occurs to often. You are appreciated for sharing your empathy for these little ones.


cwarden profile image

cwarden 5 years ago from USA

This is such a touching poem. Music can change a child's life. Music provided me with a much needed break from reality when I lost my mother as a young child. I remember looking forward to my next music class when I went to sleep each night. At the time it was the only thing that brought me any joy. Love to you and all of the music teachers!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Audrey, what a touching and intimate peek into your past you have shared with us. I am honored. Thank you for being the special person you are. One day, perhaps we will meet in person. I would love to share a cup of tea with thee. Hugs.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 5 years ago from South Africa

Beautiful indeed and so sensitively handled, thank you. So sad that so many children have to grow up like that, without love.

Thank goodness for sensitive and aware teachers who can make a difference, especially someone like you who can introduce some children at least to the wonder and joy of music, soemthing that will stay with them for their whole lives.

Love and peace

Tony


richtwf profile image

richtwf 5 years ago

You have shared a beautiful poem with an inspiring message for us all. We need to give more to our little ones - the love they need to help them grow into strong and confident young people who will be prepared to face whatever in life. Teachers can help and they do but it should be our parents first who should fill us up with the love and inspiration that we need when we are young.

Thanks for sharing your story and God bless and peace to you my dear friend.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

richtwf - You have made the most important point for parents when you wrote " it should be our parents first who should fill us up with the love and inspiration that we need when we are young." I agree and believe this is the key to good parenting. Our little ones need to be loved first - love comes before everything else. It is the foundation of character development and, as you say, confidence. Thank you dear friend for your input. Love and joy to you and yours. vocalcoach


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Tony - If I could be granted 2 wishes - one would be to hear Todd's voice and the other would be an end to all child abuse. Music is a marvelous vehicle for restoring confidence and self-worth to a child. It worked for me.

Thank you my dear friend for your comments and your support. Blessings and joy.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

An absolitely wonderful peom and so true.


Aris Budianto profile image

Aris Budianto 5 years ago from Lying along the equator Country

Awesome hub, so touching and sad.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

cwarden - Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful words and your own experience. I am so very sorry about the loss of your mother as a young child. My grandchildren are living without their mother (drugs/alchohol) and their father who passed away from cancer. I worry about them. I just pray that they will turn out to be as wonderful as you are. Thank you, my friend and blessings of every kind - to you!


AskAshlie3433 profile image

AskAshlie3433 5 years ago from WEST VIRGINIA

Wow, that sounds so familiar to me, almost like my life. Such a sad state of mind, but a beautiful poem. So many, fell to understand what is seen through a child's eyes. How painful it could be to them. Great Hub Vocal!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Denise - Such beautiful words that give me comfort and a sense of peace. I find writing about my experiences therapeutic. This is the first time I have shared information about my childhood. Oh yes...would love to join you in a cup of tea and girl talk. Thank you my friend.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..well this is the kind of deep and heartfelt writing that I would only expect from someone like you - and thanks so very much for the videos and the cards - I am indeed a lucky man to be in your blessed company.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

This brought a tear to my eye, But i am so glad that she found a way to express herself and love, a beautiful piece, I am in awe


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

nighthag - It has taken me a very long time to "share" some of my childhood memories. I suppose it has to do with trust. My hubpage family is both supportive and accepting, without judgement. A type of unconditional love. . . and you, nighthag are a part of the safe connectiveness I feel. Thank you.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

epigramman - How good it feels to read your touching, kind words. You are able to paint like an artist with your beautiful words. Oh, how you continually inspire me to write! You are my muse, my guardian angel...my friend.

BTW - the A Williams video, makes my heart dance. Thank you, wonderful man.


AskAshlie3433 profile image

AskAshlie3433 5 years ago from WEST VIRGINIA

I had to read it once more. Take care.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Ashlie, my sweet new friend...when the time comes and I am called "home", one of the first things I will do, is send to you the biggest, warmest of hugs which you will feel with every fiber of your being. And with the angels guiding me, you will feel all the love you were denied as a child. Thank you for reading my poem twice. Stay near by.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Dear friend, vocalcoach. You drove my imagination to the land of child. This is so sweet. I can't say anything. You made this poem so beautiful. Child is always innocent and they have pure heart. Thanks for writing this. Vote up as usual. God bless you!

Love and peace,


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Aris - Yes, child abuse is very sad. How I wish I had the power to end it. Thank you for visiting and for your kind words.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Hello = Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment. Child abuse is so very sad. It turns my stomach every time I hear about it going on.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

breakfastpop - Thank you pop, for voting up and awesome. I appreciate it, so very much. What you say is so true. How many little children are abused with no one to help them? Very, very sad. Hopefully, someone will read my hub and realize that either they or someone else they know is guilty of this and change. My best to you, dear pop.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

carrie - Yes, child abuse is so sad. It just breaks my heart. I so appreciate your comments. I also hope you are continuing to heal and improve carrie. Love to you.


pol1ce profile image

pol1ce 5 years ago from the Right Place

Just beatiful (also a bit sad)

Vote UP for you vocalcoach


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

polIce - Yes, your right, child abuse is very sad. It is also very real, unfortunately. We all must be aware of it and step up to the plate when we can. Thank you, my friend for visiting, commenting and rating. Have a beautiful day!


saket71 profile image

saket71 5 years ago from Delhi, India

Beautiful is the only word which comes to mind, though it falls little short in meeting the ethereal nature of the poem, like refreshing drops of water touching the face of a weary man on the shore of a sea as the waves hits the rocky earth.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

saket71 - Your words are perhaps the most beautiful and visual I have heard. I thank you, my nfew friend for your generous comments and your support. Peace and love...


kimh039 profile image

kimh039 5 years ago

chills and tears here vocalcoach. That was amazing! Very expressive and well articulated. A lot of effort went into that! Thank you vocalcoach...and God bless you:)


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

...and God Bless You too, dear kimh039! You are a huge inspiration to me. I love your hubs and appreciate your integrity. You are quite right...this was not an easy poem to write. There is always a bit of "shame" attached to a confession like this. I know that you understand completely where I'm coming from and I thank you, dearest friend!


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Aah, a happy ending from the hearts of babes! Swinging votes across!


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

What a truly stunning poem. I loved it and so felt for that poor child, but what a wonderful loving and inspirational teacher she had. To have a gift of unconditional love, yes if each one of us had this wouldn't this world be such a fantastic place? Voted up and pressing those tabs as always.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

fossillady - Lessons are taught to us in many different ways. The important thing is - that we learn to be good and loving people. Thanks so much!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

acaetnna - Children can be wonderful examples to us, if we watch, look and listen. This particular child took the lemons she was given and made lemonade as best as she could. You recognize how important the teacher was and the role that she playes. We never know when a child is hurting - we must always be aware and ready to be a soft place for a child in need. Thank you, my dearest friend!


theseus profile image

theseus 5 years ago from philippines

This is an expressive hub. You really poured your heart and soul into this, I believe. Brilliant!! God bless.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK

This sad and beautiful work resonates of the aching heart of a child and the kindness that shines on it. Loved it!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

theseus - Yes, this truly came from my heart and soul and I thank you for seeing this. You have made my heart smile. Thank you.


Fay Paxton 5 years ago

This grabbed my heart and squeezed. Exquisite!

Up and beautiful


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Docmo - How beautiful your comments are. Like reading poetry on a lovely spring day. I admire your gift. Thank you. :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Vocalcoach - I was looking for someone who had some kind words to read - I knew I would find it here. I am so glad for my visit. I am also a music lover to the Nth degree - I will have music on all day - played in band - and I want my children to be inspired by it as well. Thank you for being THE voice:)


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Dear RealHousewife - You warm my heart as I read your words, so filled with truth. You are the ideal mother and your beautiful children are so very blessed. Music is inspiring and the younger children are introduced to its variety of arrangements and colors, the more it will always be a deep part of them, as it is with you. Bless you, dear friend, with joy, peace and love!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

And you have:) Sydney told me today she is going to play the flute next year in 6th grade band! I am elated - I am going to learn with her! I'm looking forward to it as much as she is I think! The oldest daughter told me she thinks she wants to be a police officer - she is a criminal justice major. You really are a treasure - it's hard to believe you are real:-) too good to be true!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Fay...Welcome, dear lady. So happy that we have met here on hubpages. Your words are so beautiful. And if you'll excuse me, I will run over to your profile and check out one of your great hubs. :) vocalcoach


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Oh, dear RealHousewife - It is you who are unbelievable and I can't tell you how much I am blessed for meeting you. How marvelous that your Sydney will be learning the flute next year - one of the most beautiful of all instruments. The flute requires perfect control over breathing, so be sure you read my article on breath control and teach diaphragmatic breathing to her. That will really give her an edge. Your oldest daughter and my oldest grandson are both interested in going into law enforcement. Great! Love to you and yours, dear one. vocalcoach :)


Support Med. profile image

Support Med. 5 years ago from Michigan

This is an awesome poem. Realistic. The pics and words definitely tug at your heart, especially when she told her mother that she loves her, OMG!! Beautiful!! v/r


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 5 years ago

You evoked a lot of emotions with this poem. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your talents.


erinb62 profile image

erinb62 5 years ago from Laconia, NH

Amazing poem. Rhyming is something I struggle with, and you do a great job with it. It also reminds me of my love of piano, and how playing seemed to make me whole and happy. I intend to keep reading more of your wonderful work.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

fiddleman - Yes, Miss Butterfield was a life-line of love and will never be forgotten. Thank you for your beautiful comments fiddleman. They mean so much. vocalcoach

Dear tonymac - Loving and caring for children are such a blessing. And it takes less energy to be a caring, kind person, than it does to be angry and abusive. Thank you dear man for your generous, sweet comments. Blessings to you! vocalcoach

Micky Dee - Hello, sweet and precious friend. I love your remarks and the gentleman who wrote them! :)

Prasetio, my friend - The children you teach are very blessed. You epitomize the gentle, kind and caring teacher for others to follow. I love your comments. Your new avatar is great. You are so handsome! Much love,,, vocalcoach

SupportMed. - Writing this was not an easy thing to do, but somehow I managed. Not all of us have an "alice-in-wonderland-childhood". My hope is that my poem will bring understanding and awareness to those who have lived with abuse, and an appreciation for the lucky ones who have not. Thanks, my friend. vocalcoach

toknowinfo - Yes, I really did. T'was the only way I could write about it. Thank you so much for your comments. And, I love your hubs!

erin62 - True, rhymimg isn't always easy, but when it works, its the best. So you love the piano too? How wonderful. I'm very glad that we met erin. :)


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Absolutely stunning, tear falling, brilliant scribe my friend. It tore at the core of my soul, I was that little boy and my sisters were that little girl. We all cried together for want of love that we never received in great measure at home. How sad to watch abuse, be part of it, witness to fear and pain. I pray this little girl became a beautiful, stunning, loving, caring human being as an adult. Hugs


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

saddlerider - Child abuse lasts a lifetime. Regardless of how much we grow and change, long after the fact, we still carry those scars. I join you, dear, sweet man as your tears release dark memories from the past. You are a radiant light and one that I love to follow. God bless you and your small child within, with continual peace, love ever-lasting and your own private rainbow. Hugs back!


eventsyoudesign profile image

eventsyoudesign 5 years ago from Nashville, Tennessee

I have seen what child abuse does. It is sad when a parent denies that it has happened to their child and refuses to help that child. I am glad I found you. I am also from Nashville, Tennessee and I work at the Nashville Symphony. Thanks for sharing. Teresa


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Teresa - Oh, I love the symphony - last year my handsome son took me to "Beethovens" 9th with full chorus. It was a birthday gift and a dream of mine. Next time we go - I will look for you. How exciting! Thank you, my new and dear friend!


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

So beautifully written, and such an important message for us to remember. Voted up and beautiful.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

I have to fight not to cry at the injustices spoken in your poem. Thank goodness for the gift to the little girl so she could find beauty and hope in life.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

This feels very personal and deep---such an intimate portrait.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Dear Marcy, Ardie and Audrey -

I want to thank you three sweet ladies for leaving your heart-felt comments The up side to this sad time is that the little girl wouldn't have become who she is today without her childhood.


Fennelseed profile image

Fennelseed 4 years ago from Australia

A beautiful poem of a neglected child getting a break and beating the odds. So sad that there many children who do not know a parents love. We cannot take away the rights of men and women to procreate, but if only a condition be put on that right, to love and nurture one's children, and an adherence to abide by that condition or to forfeit your children to a family that can provide the love and nurturing that children need. If only it was a given that all children are loved and cherished by their own parents. Unfortunately that isn't reality and reality is way too harsh and cruel.

This is a beautiful thought provoking hub, my votes and best wishes to you Audrey, and sharing!


josh3418 profile image

josh3418 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

This is very thought provoking, I totally agree with Fennelseed. Vocal you have done a terrific job here! It is so sad to know that this goes on every day behind the scenes. This is hidden in public but made known in private. And the pooor children have no way to fend for themselves. You have touched on a deep topic is such a wonderful way!

Voted up, useful, beautiful, and awesome, and sharing!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK

Audrey- this is so beautiful and emotive. You've done a wonderful tribute not only to those children in need of love and care but for all those who give this unconditionally and make those children feel loved. Child neglect is a terrible thing and in my line of work I come across it more often than I care to see. When my mom passed five years ago, we gave an orphanage in South India a sum of money to celebrate an annual remembrance and give the children a mini feast as well as new clothes... the look in their faces is worth its weight in gold! voted up/across!


midget38 profile image

midget38 4 years ago from Singapore

Awesome poetry, stirs the heart! Voted up!


Ian Dabasori Hetr profile image

Ian Dabasori Hetr 4 years ago from Papua New Guinea

All I can say is the hub swept me off my feet. I love how you drew the pictures with your words. Its sad, yet so powerful and carries untold truths about human misseries, fears and tears behind the cover of parent hood.

What makes it different is how you said it. I love poetry and write it from my heart and enjoy poems from others that comes from their heart. Poetry displays inner most hopes and fears and beuty as seen from the poets lenses.

Great hub. Hope you check my poems out.

Vote up and sharing.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Fennelseed - " If only it was a given that all children are loved and cherished by their own parents." Powerful! Thank you dear friend for your beautiful addition to my poem through your comments. I second every word. Hugs to you. (Tomorrow marks the 4th year without my Toddd. It feels like yesterday.)


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

What a sad poem...what a sad life....too many children lead thus sad life...thank Good for all the Miss Butterfield's in the world.


Vellur profile image

Vellur 4 years ago from Dubai

Beautifully expressed and touched my heart. An emotionally moving poem.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Thank you josh3418 - Being a teacher especially to the very young is a powerful position. It brings with it a responsibility to nurture and protect the innocence of children. This teacher in my poem reached out and filled a child's need for love. What greater gift! Thank you my friend for your comments and the votes and sharing.


josh3418 profile image

josh3418 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

You are very welcome vocal, anytime! :)


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Very touching poem. I'm glad to see the child get a lifelong friend and is happy. I wonder why parents are abuse children since such a small child does not fathom the mind of an adult. You are very correct in saying that the child feels its his/her fault. Children are a form of God; hatred free and loving.

Voted up and beautiful. I can't help but share this touching poem.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland

aaah I commented on this one 4 months ago and when I saw it pop up on my feed I knew I had to read it again. It got to me even more the second time through - sharing.


addingsense profile image

addingsense 4 years ago from kerala

a heartfelt poem truly


Angela Brummer profile image

Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

This is so beautiful! I almost cried. Thinking about this can make it hard to sleep at night!


tsarnaudova profile image

tsarnaudova 4 years ago from Sofia, Bulgaria

Some people should never become parents. So much evil is unleashed upon the heads of the innocent. Thank god there are true hearts, loving hearts standing for these children.

Very sad, but true hub. Beautiful poem.

Thank you, vocalcoach.


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Wonderful piece of poetry. I was moved to the core..

Some children are unlucky not to get their fair share of love...

I feel for such children and your poem makes me feel more....

I cannot believe how some parents can be so callous.. so shrewd.. but then they are there...

Great poetry... heart- rending


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

wow...Awesome poem Audrey.

No one has the right to ruin a childhood not even the parents. Beautifully expressed and I pray that innocence of all children be maintained and loved...Amen!

Voted up and sharing it across


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

What an incredibly beautiful piece of work this is....so sad and yet filled with triumph....love conquers all, and you have captured that message so well. Bravo my friend! This was a joy to read!


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

OH wow!!!!this is so beautiful and sad and so true so many times... and Thank God for people like Mrs. Butterfield.. God uses people like this..God Bless you.. He is using you

Sharing and pinning it is so good

Debbie


ChristyWrites profile image

ChristyWrites 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

Beautiful, moving, and so much more. A read that really makes us stop and put our arms around those we care about xx


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I still love your poem and enjoyed revisiting:)

Syd LOVED playing the flute! She signed up for next year and I adore hearing her practice. I'd have loved to hear you playing piano as a child - I bet it was priceless to hear!!

Oh I just wanna give you a BIG hug!


Mekenzie profile image

Mekenzie 4 years ago from Michigan

The pain of the child who is unloved is unbearable. You have so beautifully written the heart of a little girl carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

I relate to this little girl. Growing up unloved in a house of screaming, cursing and abuse. God came to me in the midst of it all and opened my eyes to His love for me. He is my life and He has given me a family who I love with all of my heart. The generational curse ends here.

I don't know if people truly understand the difference they can make in a child's life .. a smile, a hug, a kind word goes deep into a child's heart and remains as a balm to the many hurts hidden there.

Beautiful writing .. hopefully will spur people on to open their eyes and hearts to the little ones.

Hugs to you Dearheart,

Mekenzie


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

When a parent damages a child this way, it is for life. The child can compensate for a lot of the deprivation, but unless that child continues to allow themselves to feel that loss as an adult, they run the risk of repeating the pattern with their own children. I am reminded today of my own losses----


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 4 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Thank you dear Josh - Your comments ring so very true! I pray every night for the children. There is only one great source to protect a child from abuse and neglect. That is our Heavenly Father (as I call him.) Let us all remember the children of the world through our thoughts and prayers. Thank you my friend.

Docmo - What a generous and lovely gesture for the children in India. I'm sure your dear mother is very pleased and proud of you all. You are doing God's work andtruly making a difference. A beautiful and kind thing to do. Thank you for your generous rating and sharing.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

midget38 - Thank you for being touched by my poem. You too, have touched me.

Ian - Your words so full of understanding mean so much. I am looking forward to your poems and know I will learn from them. I like how you recognized that this came from my heart. It truly did.

Thank you for your compassion and most of all, thank you for being here.

justateacher - Yes, living with neglect is sad. I would love to protect all children from abuse. Miss Butterfield was an absolute angel. Thank you.

Vellur - Thank you kindly for finding my poem beautifully expressed. So nice of you to take the time to read and comment.

Rajan - You have asked a good question. Why do parents abuse small children when they can't fathom the mind of an adult? Very unfair. I suppose some parents learn from their own parents that this is the way to raise children.

These precious children belong to God and deserve respect, protection and to be nurtured.

Thank you my friend for your support and for passing this along.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Hi Ardie - I remember your last comment as I was so touched. It's wonderful seeing you again and I would love to hear from you anytime. Hugs to you!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Thank you very much for reading my poem and leaving your comment. I truly appreciate


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Thank you friend for your touching comments. We must all be aware of abuse upon children and protect them when we can. Blessings to you.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Thank you rahul for leaving such beautiful comments. I appreciate your feelings about both my poetry and child abuse. You are very sweet!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Dear Ruchira - If parents just realized that how they treat a child influences that child for the rest of their life. I like your prayer and repeat it each night and every morning. Thank you!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Dear Bill - Your precious comments are always "sugar for my soul." (Just made that up.) See how you inspire me? So pleased that you read this. That little girl is filled with joy and love today!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Thank you dear Debbie for your lovely comments. It's always inspiring to see you. Blessings and hugs.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Christy - Parenting little ones is the greatest of all blessings and the most important of all responsibilities. I feel your sincere love for others. Thank you.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Hello Dear Kelly ~ Thank you for coming back to read this again.

Syd must be playing pretty well by now. Bless her sweet heart. And how beautiful for you to enjoy her practicing and the way you encourage her. I love the sound of the flute.

I'm so touched that you would have loved to hear me play the piano as a child. I will send you a CD of piano music when it is complete:) And I can feel your precious arms around me - so warm and cuddly and full of love!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Dear Mekenzie - You and I share an understanding of the fear and loneliness that accompanies an abusive childhood. Having lived through this, we can both be proud to have been chosen to end this "generational curse" as you so aptly put it. I'm so deeply sorry that you were unloved as a sweet, beautiful child. At the same time, I am truly grateful to find you and know that there is someone who understands and has so much empathy.

Thank you dearest one and big hugs to you too. Audrey


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Hello Audrey, dear friend ~ I was just wondering about your own "losses" and if you have written about any one of those in your magnificent poetry?

Thank you for all that you give to me in both your writing and following. Your support is a gift to me. I thank you so much!


Ruthi 2 years ago

As you well know, as we share our personal childhood stories of a not-so-perfect upbringing, we may help another come to terms with such a childhood of their own. Even better, we may save one child from the same experience. Bravo to you for such a touching poetic view of a child who needed such a helping hand of love. Thank you for taking a stand to "arise against abuse" (as I often write about myself).


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

Nothing makes me as mad and sad as a child being abused. Whether verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually. Children look up to adults, they should NEVER, EVER, EVER be hurt in any way. So very sad.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Audrey...Well, thank you. I've had my cathartic cry for the week. This is an issue near and dear to my heart. A miracle happens when someone who has learned better.....does better and puts an end to the cycle. It's fairly clear to me that you are a miracle worker. Bless your precious and loving heart....UP UIAB......pinned & tweeted.


Harishprasad profile image

Harishprasad 2 years ago from India

vocalcoach, wish there were billions likes of Miss Butterfileds on this planet. Very touching and educative hub, my friend. I love all kids and they are such a source of happiness and peace. To abuse them is to abuse oneself and deprive oneself of real pleasure and love. Thank you. Voted with all my heart.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 2 years ago from California

Such a heart wrenching read--yes--I hope that this helps even just one person who was abused--to find solace and strength--


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

A very touching look on the subject of abuse. I hate to hear of it. Your advice is excellent and will help people to know how to handle the temptation. I love the Oliver song you posted, it goes with your post so well.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

Audrey, thank you for sharing your story. I will never understand child abuse, yet it happens every day. Thank God for Miss Butterfield and the piano. Fortunately, you found someone who showed you your worth. You could have gone in many different directions, but you chose the piano and music as your panacea. God bless you.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 2 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Ruthi - It's a wonderful thing to find you here, reading my hub and leaving such stirring comments. Thank you and I hope to see you again, and soon. ~ Audrey

Sunshine625 ~ You are a beautiful mother, grandmother and friend. I like how you started your comments with "Nothing makes me as mad and sad as child abuse." Don't you just wonder what's wrong with some people? Your entire family are so lucky to have you!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 2 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

Angela Brummer You are such a dear. Please forgive me for taking so long to respond. Hope you are doing just great!

fpherj48 ~ Hi gorgeous. You possess an understanding heart. What a magnificent thing that is. With child neglect and abuse, someone has to come along in the family line and put a stop to it. And you understand this which makes me just filled with goose bumps. My heart joins your heart in celebration! Thank you a million and more for your caring support. I feel so loved ~ Audrey

Harishprasad - Yes, dear Miss Butterfield was exceptionally loving and very kind. A gift from God. Thank you for your tender words. They come from your generous heart. ~ Audrey


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 2 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

AudreyHowitt ~ I've locked this issue inside of me for years. Then I made a decision to share my experience hoping that, like you say, even one person will somehow be helped. Thank you, lovely lady!

teaches12345 I kept this abuse a secret all my life until now. Shame goes along with the neglect. I'm sure as a teacher you are on the look-out for this type of thing. Thank you.

Hello Sha (bravewarrior) ~ All types of abuse are just horrific. But child abuse is the worst as children can't defend themselves. I've come forward at long last and now I'm free. Thank you so much ~ Audrey


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Audrey.....Please believe me without hesitation that I am able to fully relate to and genuinely appreciate that "lock-up" of things inside of us for years.......decades.

The need for ultimate release....is far more profound than even "we," the keeper of the lock, can imagine, unless and until we have discovered the key to freedom............Much love, Audrey. Peace, Paula


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 2 years ago from Nashville Tn. Author

fpher48 You have shared something so personal, so painful with me. This means everything to the little child who grew up thinking she was all alone in the world. You, dear Paula, understand and know what words alone cannot begin to describe.

"The key to Freedom." I like this.

You hold a special place in my heart ~Audrey

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    Audrey Hunt (vocalcoach)1,694 Followers
    189 Articles

    A product of a dysfunctional family, Audrey's burning desire to help others to love themselves led her to the study of psychology at UCLA.



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